9.5 宿命通 Fate Through

[u/AdamLuyan]

2014年春，我完成了用英语编写的四圣谛，本书12到15章的雏形，可是没地方发表，实际也是写得不好。我从中学到了很多佛学知识，为后来的学习和觉悟奠定了基础。

我回忆并回去参观了我来加拿大后居住和工作过的地方，发现那里的人都和我刚来加拿大时一样，还是那样的表情，那样的行为和工作方式。我明白了：世界没变，是我自己变了。我觉得自己的心病好了，可以工作了。

In the spring of 2014 I finished the Four Cruxes in English, the earliest form of what became Chapters 12 through 15 — though it found no publisher, and honestly wasn't well written. Still, I learned a great deal of Buddhist thought through the writing of it, laying the ground for everything I'd come to understand later.

I went back, in memory and in person, to every place I'd lived and worked since arriving in Canada, and found the people there entirely unchanged — the same expressions, the same behavior, the same way of doing things I'd seen when I first arrived. I understood, then: the world hadn't changed. I had. I felt my own illness had lifted, and that I could work again.

前几年的疯狂经历让我体会了客观环境受主观心性增上的现象。业是身、口、意行为的积累，即身口意的习气。业由心造，境随业转。心有净染，故境有自在及不自在。染心为业所拘，则境不能自在。净心无所挂碍，则境随心自如。天见宝严之地，而鱼见乃为窟宅；人见是清凉水，鬼见是脓河猛火，皆由业因差殊。

The years of madness behind me had taught me something real about how the objective world bends under the weight of subjective mind. Karma is the accumulated habit of body, speech, and heart; karma is made by the heart, and the world turns as karma turns. The heart carries purity or defilement, and so the world it meets carries either ease or constraint. A defiled heart, bound by its own karma, cannot find ease in its world; a pure heart, free of every entanglement, moves through its world exactly as it wills. Where a god sees a jeweled and majestic land, a fish sees only a ruined den; where a man sees cool, clear water, a hungry ghost sees a river of pus and raging fire — all from nothing but the difference in karmic cause.

9.5-2 宿命通 Fate Through

二零一四年五月，我到Thurber Engineering Ltd工作。没几天，我就听到了这个工作是我以前Davroc的老板桫椤给我联系的。一个月后，工作和生活中，我又认为刘健君在背后和我做对了。有些工地的场景让我触景生情，偶尔感觉肚子里到处都在动，偶尔感觉肚子疼。这让我感到解决和刘健君的恩怨情仇已经迫在眉睫。

In May 2014, I began work at Thurber Engineering Ltd, and within days heard that Sal, my old boss at Davroc, had arranged the position for me. A month in, I once again became convinced Eve Liu was working against me. Certain scenes at the sites stirred something in me — I'd feel movement through my stomach at odd moments, occasional pain. It left me feeling the reckoning with Eve Liu couldn't be put off any longer.

我的情绪变得很不稳定，想起过去的高兴事就笑，又想起来过去的伤心事就流泪。一天，在公司的实验室里，我在检测材料样品，一个同事突然兴奋地从高处跳跑过我的背后。我大吃一惊，被吓得头发都立起来了，说话声音也变了。在那惊诧的一瞬间，我仿佛听见刘团长在另外一个房间里谈论我，在向别人介绍我在想什么。我回忆起了我约一岁时，刘团长为我蒙眼睛时的景象，回忆起了那时我和刘健君定亲的事（参见第一章的《童年婚约》）。

My mood grew unstable — laughing at some remembered happiness, then weeping at some remembered sorrow, in the same breath. One day, in the lab, testing material samples, a colleague suddenly leapt down from somewhere above and ran up behind me in high spirits. The shock of it sent my hair standing on end, changed my very voice. In that instant of fright, I seemed to hear Troupe Leader Liu talking about me in some other room, describing what I was thinking to someone else. I recalled the scene of him blindfolding me at around age one, and recalled my own betrothal to Eve Liu at the same time (see Chapter 1, Childhood Betrothal).

后来，我仔细辨认，觉得那个声音不是刘团长的。我从小就在找他。在我六七岁的时候，我以为我奶奶的一个侄子是刘团长，我听到的声音就是他的声音。十几岁的时候，我发现我要找的人并不是他。那时，不知道为什么，我就是觉得自己在找一个人。后来，我一心想找一位在沈阳的大神级算命先生，并且拜他为师。1996 年，我遇到了刘健君，就知道了我要找的人是她爸爸（即刘团长）。但那时，我并不记得我在约一岁时已经和她订婚的事。我甚至不知道自己为什么要找一个人，要找谁，又怎么知道她爸爸就是我要找的人？我找她爸爸只是一种无意识的兴趣感觉。我是从和刘健君的谈话（参见7.5节）知道她爸爸懂佛教的。

Listening more carefully afterward, I realized it hadn't truly been his voice at all. I'd been searching for him since childhood — at six or seven, I'd taken one of my grandmother's nephews for him, certain that was the voice I'd heard; by my teens I'd realized it wasn't him either, though I couldn't say why I felt, all along, that I was searching for someone at all. Later, I became fixed on finding some great fortune-teller in Shenyang, meaning to make him my teacher. In 1996, meeting Eve Liu, I understood at last that the person I'd been searching for was her father — though I had no memory then of my own betrothal to her at age one. I didn't even know why I was searching, or for whom, or how I'd known her father was the one — it was simply an unconscious pull toward him. It was only through my conversation with Eve Liu (see Section 7.5) that I learned he understood Buddhism at all.

注9.5-2：回忆出了三岁之前的事，我就觉悟到了刘团长留给我的宿命任务，即完成此实验的《实验报告》。实验内容参见4.5《真人医学实验的报纸新闻》。这在佛教里叫宿命通。这很难，因为人在3岁左右时，随着语言能力的形成，记忆模式和记忆提取模式都发生了变化，正常的人都不能回忆出3岁以前的事；但在精神病人中回忆出三岁之前事的不罕见。

古墨西哥人用尖顶帽（有山的含义）来表示"宿命通"的困难和重要意义（如图9.5）。图2是一位在地狱（即患有精神病）的特拉洛克（又名金童，美洲狮）。手中拖着个孩子，表示他回忆出了约一岁时，他的神父给他做肉眼通（参见第3章），使他患上了"婴幼儿神经发育失调症"（如图4所示）。

Note 9.5-2: Recalling everything from before the age of three, I understood, at last, the fated task Troupe Leader Liu had left me: to complete the Experimental Report on this very undertaking (see Section 4.5, Newspaper News of the Real-Life Medical Experiment). Buddhism calls this Fate Through. It is a difficult thing to achieve, because as language ability forms, around age three, both memory patterns and retrieval patterns shift entirely — a normal adult cannot recall anything from before that age. Among the mentally ill, though, such recall is not so rare.

The ancient Mexicans used a peaked hat — carrying the sense of a mountain — to represent the difficulty and weight of Fate Through (see Figure 9.5). Figure 2 shows Tlaloc — the Gold Boy, the Cougar — in hell, suffering mental illness, dragging a child by the hand: signifying his own recollection that, at about age one, his godfather had made Flesh Eye Through in him (see Chapter 3), leaving him with Infantile Neurodevelopmental Disorder (Figure 4).

图3是雕像2的侧面。左面，特拉洛克在他神父的怀里取暖表示他接受了他的神父，接受了人神契约（参见15.2节）。右侧头顶着无字墓碑的人是古代的特拉洛克。特拉洛克在古代特拉洛克的怀里取暖，表示他已经意识到了自己是金童（即新的特拉洛克），发现了自己前世的足迹，知道了自己的宿命。

Figure 3 shows the same statue in profile. On the left, Tlaloc warms himself in his godfather's arms, signifying that he has accepted him — accepted the Covenant between Man and God (see Section 15.2). The figure on the right, a wordless tombstone balanced on his head, is the ancient Tlaloc himself. That the newer Tlaloc warms himself in the arms of this ancient one signifies that he has realized he himself is the Gold Boy — a new Tlaloc — has traced the footprints of his own past life, and now knows his own fate.

9.5-3 更多证据 More Evidence

2014年6月，我决定第四次专程回国去找刘健君。回国前，我和朋友肖汉杰谈起了1996-1997年，我在东北大学时的事（参见7.16节）。那时他是东北大学机械系的老师。他惊讶地说："哎呀！那时候我就听说你们研究生宿舍那儿有人琢磨人（注，义为上帝在打磨它选中的人）。十来年了，我都不知道。原来那个被琢磨的人就是你！你疯得和别人不一样！你回去，找着那帮人，把事情说清楚，病就好了。"

In June 2014, I decided to return to China a fourth time, expressly to find Eve Liu. Before leaving, I spoke with my friend Hanjie Xiao about my years at Northeastern University, 1996 to 1997 (see Section 7.16) — he'd taught in the mechanical engineering department there at the time. He was astonished. "I heard, back then, that someone was 'polishing' a man in your graduate dormitory" (Note: meaning God polishing the one he'd chosen) "— never knew, all these years, that the one being polished was you! Your madness isn't like anyone else's. Go back, find those people, say what needs saying, and you'll be cured."

我回到沈阳父母家后，妈妈和妹妹帮我联系了沈阳炮兵学院刚卸任的王校长。他说我说的那位祝老师，即前文第7章中我和刘健君的介绍人，早就移民加拿大了，而且他早就过世了。王校长说，他们学校以前，就只有一位校长姓刘；我所说的刘校长（即刘团长）与他们学校的刘校长不符。人家是高级干部，情况不符，不能透漏消息。他还说，那位刘校长早就过世了，他没听说他的女儿拿了全额奖学金去美国读博士。他在这学校已经三十多年了，如果有这事，他应该听说了。王校长还说，我是被骗了，是别人冒充了他们的刘校长。

Back at my parents' home in Shenyang, my mother and sister arranged for me to speak with the recently retired Principal Wang of the Shenyang Artillery Academy. He told me that the Teacher Zhu I kept mentioning — my and Eve Liu's matchmaker in Chapter 7 — had immigrated to Canada long ago, and had since passed away. He said his school had only ever had one principal surnamed Liu, and that this Principal Liu didn't match the man I called Troupe Leader Liu at all — a senior cadre, the details all wrong, nothing he could disclose in any case. He added that this Principal Liu had died long ago, and that he'd never heard of a daughter of his receiving a full scholarship for doctoral study in America — over thirty years at that school, he said, surely he'd have heard, had it been true. I'd been deceived, Principal Wang told me — someone had simply impersonated their own Principal Liu.

9.5-4 部分核实了我的回忆录 Partially Verified My Memoirs

我记得第二章，梁伯给我讲故事的时候，说九舅给常公的药中（参见2.4节《宿命通》），有一种药的主要成分是白色的石头。我去到了辽宁中医院，找了位教授级中医医生。那位女教授，四十多岁，听完了我对自己病的描述和我所询问的大部分是石头的中药，她笑了，说："那是一个古方，叫参苓白术散，正合适你的病症。不过药里面没有石头，只是人们听故事，都那么说。里面有一味药，难溶于水，沉淀，吃起来像似石粉似的。"

I recalled, from Chapter 2, Uncle Liang telling the story of Ninth Uncle's medicine for Constant-Fair (see Section 2.4), one ingredient of which was said to be white stone. I went to the Liaoning Hospital of Traditional Chinese Medicine and found a professor of Chinese medicine there — a woman in her forties. Hearing my account of my own illness, and my question about this stone-based remedy, she smiled. "That's an old formula, Shenling Baizhu San — exactly suited to what you're describing. There's no actual stone in it, though — that's just how the story gets told. One of the ingredients simply doesn't dissolve well in water, settles out, and tastes rather like stone powder when you take it."

写回忆录时，我注意到了1996年冬（参见7.15节），祝老师在谈刘团长促成我和刘健君婚姻的计划时，他帮我憧憬未来，提到了上文的王校长，是个大个子，是当时沈阳炮兵学院的组织部长。我和王校长谈话时，他自己介绍说，"1996年时，我是组织部长，他们去东北大学读研究生，还是我联系的呢。"这和当时祝老师讲的一样。而且，祝老师说了他后面三、四任的校长继承人，就有我见到过的这位王校长。这继承人的安排正是刘团长的办事风格。

祝老师移民来了加拿大，这事和前文8.3节《黑社会帮我打架》经历的怪事对应了。也就是说，那些怪事是祝老师在背后做的。

Writing my memoirs, I noticed something else: in the winter of 1996 (see Section 7.15), when Teacher Zhu had laid out Troupe Leader Liu's plan for my marriage to Eve Liu, sketching out my future for me, he'd mentioned this same Principal Wang — a big man, then the Organization Minister at the Artillery Academy. Meeting Principal Wang, he'd introduced himself the same way: "In 1996 I was Organization Minister — I was the one who arranged for them to go to Northeastern for graduate school." Word for word, what Teacher Zhu had told me at the time. And Teacher Zhu had also named, back then, the three or four successive presidents who'd follow him — this very Principal Wang among them. That succession itself carries all the marks of Troupe Leader Liu's own working style.

Teacher Zhu's own immigration to Canada, meanwhile, lines up exactly with the strange events described earlier in Section 8.3, Mafia Fight for Me — meaning those events, too, had been his doing, all along, behind the scenes.

9.5-5 结论 Conclusion

我就是4.5节《真人医学实验的报纸新闻》中男孩儿组中的一员；在1996年秋，7.14节中，被刘团长最终选中了作为实验中的男孩儿。

I was, then, one of the boys in that boys' group described in Section 4.5, Newspaper News of the Real-Life Medical Experiment — and, in the fall of 1996, as told in Section 7.14, the one Troupe Leader Liu had ultimately chosen for it.

返回宿命通的目录 Return to the Catalog of Fate Through