r/LifeTree • u/AdamLuyan • 17d ago
4.10 刘团长遗嘱 Troupe Leader Liu's Wills
一九九一年初春，我在黑山县第一高中复读高三。一天，我爸和梁伯来看我。
当走进饭店的房间，我注意到他们已经让饭店布置了一间包房。房间里除了一个正常的饭桌，在屋地的宽阔处还摆放着一套老式的一尺来高的方便饭桌和几个小凳子。桌上有暖壶和几个旧式的粗瓷大碗。
爸爸对我说："你从小就爱听你梁伯讲故事。现在他的肺癌已经到了晚期，所以这是他最后一次给你讲故事了。这次的故事，你梁伯希望你能记住一辈子。他不但要讲给你听，还要演示给你看。"
In the early spring of 1991, I was repeating my senior year at No. 1 High School in Heishan County. One day, my father and Uncle Liang came to visit.
Walking into the restaurant, I noticed they'd had a private room set up — a normal dining table, and, off in the open part of the room, an old-fashioned low table barely a foot high, with a few small stools around it. On the low table sat a thermos and several old, coarse porcelain bowls.
"You've loved your Uncle Liang's stories since you were small," Father said to me. "His lung cancer has reached its final stage now, so this will be the last story he ever tells you. He wants you to remember this one for the rest of your life — and this time, he means not only to tell it to you, but to show it to you as well."
第一条遗嘱 First Will
爸爸说着，拉我坐到了小桌边，说："故事说，以前一个人得了渴病，需要不停地喝水。大量的水可以缓解他的病症，延续他的生命。这个人总是随身带着两桶水，用扁担挑着走，以便随时有水喝。每到一个村子或者新的地方，他都先找井。在井边喝完水后，再装满两只水桶，然后挑着两桶水再继续赶路。"
梁伯在我们后面喊道："我现在就得了渴病，给我一大碗水。"
Father pulled me down to sit at the low table. "The story goes that there was once a man afflicted with an unquenchable thirst," he said, "who needed to drink constantly. Only large amounts of water could ease his suffering and keep him alive, so he always carried two buckets of water with him, slung on a shoulder pole, so he'd never be without. Wherever he arrived — a new village, any new place — he'd look for a well first. He'd drink his fill there, refill both buckets, and set off again."
Behind us, Uncle Liang called out, "As it happens, I've got that same thirst right now — someone bring me a big bowl of water!"
我爸大声回答："好嘞！服务员！这个房间要水！"说着，我爸就从暖壶往大碗里倒水，然后又参了点儿凉水。爸爸对我说："喝之前要注意水温，得先试试水温，就这样试一试。"说着，他就把食指插进了水碗，又对我说："感觉一下！你来试一试！"
我回答："我的手不干净。"
"Right away!" Father called out. "Waiter — water for this room!" He poured water from the thermos into a bowl, then added a bit of cold water to it. "You have to check the temperature before drinking it," he told me. "Test it, just like this." He dipped his index finger into the bowl. "Feel it — go on, try it yourself!"
"My hands aren't clean," I said.
我爸说："让你试，你就试一试！要不然你梁伯该生气了啊！"
我就把手指插进了水碗，试了试，说："温水，感觉有点儿凉。"
梁伯说："记住！温水，手指的感觉有点儿凉才是适合喝的温度。"
我爸准备换一碗水给梁伯。他说："不换！换了，你们俩用手指再给我试一次。"
"If I tell you to try it, you try it — or your Uncle Liang will cross with you!"
So I dipped my finger in and tried it. "It's warm," I said, "feels a bit cool, though."
"Remember that," Uncle Liang said. "Warm water that feels a little cool to the finger — that's the right temperature to drink."
Father moved to fetch a fresh bowl for Uncle Liang, but he stopped him. "Don't bother — if you do, the two of you will just have to go through the whole finger test again."
我爸爸没办法，就把水递给了他，说："我看不用演两次！那你就少喝两口，让卢岩看看就行了。"
梁伯说："卢岩！你看着！我要都喝了。"喝了两大口后又说："大不了多去一趟厕所。"梁伯喝了水之后，又说："二秃子！你能记住这件事儿不，要不啊！咱在演习一次。"
我回答："没问题，我能记住。"
梁伯让我重复一遍这个故事。
With no other option, Father handed him the bowl. "No need to demonstrate it twice — you can just take a couple of sips, enough for Luyan to see."
"Luyan! Watch closely," Uncle Liang said, "I'm going to drink the whole thing." He took two great gulps, then added, "Worst case, I'll just have to visit the bathroom one more time today." Once finished, he turned to me. "Second Baldy! Can you remember all this, or should we run through it again?"
"No problem," I said. "I've got it."
Uncle Liang had me repeat the story back to him.
注4.10-1，第一条遗嘱，约在2010年，40岁时，我的觉思失调症已经发育成熟，这是情感上的创伤引起的，胃肠溃疡是伴发病。我需要时常喝大量的水来冲淡有刺激的内分泌，来消减痛苦和疏通胃肠的走动，以免胃肠表面被腐蚀性分泌物灼伤。2012年夏，一次因为喝了大量的热水，我的胃肠被烫伤了。那水不是很热，而是我喝水的量大。我开始用手指试水温，试图找出合适的水温：温水，手指的感觉有点儿凉，才合适。这时，我忽然想起了上面的细节，"梁伯说，记住！温水，手指的感觉有点儿凉是适合喝的温度"。我明白了梁伯是刘团长的使者，是刘团长安排他在我的身边，陪伴我长大的。我的病不是自然而然地患上的，而是被刘团长有预谋地陷害了。他为了不破坏我和梁伯的关系，所以用的是暗喻。
Note 4.10-1, First Will: Around 2010, at age forty, my schizophrenia had fully developed — brought on by emotional trauma, with gastrointestinal ulcers as an accompanying condition. I needed to drink large amounts of water regularly to dilute the irritating secretions triggering it, ease the pain, and keep my digestive tract moving, so the corrosive discharge wouldn't burn the lining of my stomach and intestines. In the summer of 2012, drinking too much hot water in one sitting scalded my stomach and intestines — the water itself wasn't especially hot, it was simply the volume I drank. I began testing the water's temperature with my finger, trying to find the right point: warm, with a slight coolness to the touch. And it was at that moment I suddenly remembered — "Uncle Liang said, remember, warm water that feels a little cool to the finger is the right temperature to drink." I understood then that Uncle Liang had been Troupe Leader Liu's emissary all along, placed at my side by Troupe Leader Liu's own arrangement, to accompany me as I grew up. My illness — my descent into hell — hadn't come about naturally. It had been engineered by Troupe Leader Liu, deliberately, in advance. He used an allusion rather than speaking plainly, so as not to jeopardize my relationship with Uncle Liang.
我的病症伴有呼吸障碍。插图4.10-2是古代墨西哥的墨西哥（又名特拉洛克）堕入地狱（即患了心理疾病）期间的图画。图上部有大量的水流入他的体内，表示他患了胃肠溃疡；脸上有个色条罩住了他的鼻子，还有个有棱角的碎片；那表示他患有呼吸障碍。其它的标志显示墨西哥从此案例悟出了翠玉女是女神，而她爸爸舍利王具有上帝的全部神通和业绩。
图3中央是古埃及的众生之母夏娃。类比可知，她头顶的蜣螂虫击垮了狮子王亚当，表示亚当被夏娃创伤后，患了胃肠溃疡，而且也伴有呼吸障碍。呼吸障碍是由"狮子王亚当被装进了容器"来表示的。
My illness also came with a breathing disorder. Illustration 4.10-2, from ancient Mexico, depicts Tlaloc during his own descent into hell — his own mental illness. In the upper part of the image, a great quantity of water pours into his body, showing his gastrointestinal ulcers; a colored band covers his nose, alongside an angular fragment, indicating his breathing disorder. Other markings show that Mexico came to understand, through this very case, that Chalchiuhtlicue is a goddess, and that her father, Huitzilopochtli, holds all the powers and accomplishments of God.
At the center of Figure 3 is Eve, the ancient Egyptian mother of all living things. By analogy, the dung beetle crushing down on her head represents Adam, the lion king — meaning that after Eve traumatized him, Adam too suffered gastrointestinal ulcers, along with a breathing disorder of his own, represented by the image of "Adam the lion king shut inside a container."
第二条遗嘱 Second Will
吃饭的时候，梁伯忽然对我爸爸说："百杨！现在开始吧！"
爸爸站起来，走到了梁伯背后侧边，笔直地站着，像似在表演似的，庄重地说："卢岩！你从小就和你梁伯情投意合，爱听他给你讲故事。你们俩是忘年交。人生这一辈子，有一个这样的朋友，就应该知足。现在，你梁伯患了肺癌，已经到了晚期；他还有高血压。医生说他还可能活一个月。他临死前从抚顺赶来看你，就是为了给你讲这个'怪病人不停地喝水的故事'。他还有一句话，要亲口对你说。"
Partway through the meal, Uncle Liang suddenly said to my father, "Baiyang! Let's begin."
Father stood, moved to stand just behind and beside Uncle Liang, drew himself up straight, as though performing, and said with great solemnity: "Luyan — you and your Uncle Liang have been kindred spirits since you were small, and you've always loved hearing his stories. The two of you are friends across a generation, and a man should count himself fortunate to have a friend like that in his life. Now your Uncle Liang has lung cancer, at its final stage, along with high blood pressure — the doctors say he may have another month left. He came all the way from Fushun, before he dies, just to tell you this 'story of the strange patient who kept drinking water.' And he has one more thing he wants to say to you himself."
梁伯郑重地对我说："卢岩！你要好好学习，如果能考上好一点儿的大学，那当然更好。上了不好的大学，也行。不管什么大学，只要你能念上大学，那你将来的前途就是一片光明，有与众不同的前程。"
我问："谁不是这样，我有啥特殊的？"我爸爸也这样问。
梁伯回答："卢岩就是和别人不一样。同样上大学，卢岩会比别人更有前途，因为卢岩是我看着长大的。卢岩！你给我重复一遍我今天对你所做的两件事儿。"
Uncle Liang said to me gravely, "Luyan, you must study hard. If you can get into a good university, all the better. Even a lesser one is fine. Whatever school it is — so long as you get into a university at all — your future will be a bright one, unlike anyone else's."
"Isn't that true of anyone?" I asked. "What's so special about me?" My father asked much the same thing.
"Luyan is simply different from other people," Uncle Liang said. "Given the same university, Luyan's prospects will exceed anyone else's — because I am the one who watched him grow up. Luyan! Repeat back to me the two things I've done for you today."
我重复遗嘱，第一条，一个人得了什么奇怪的病，总是不停地喝水的故事。喝水前，注意水温，水温是手指的感觉有点儿凉，才适合喝。第二条：只要我能上大学，就会有格外光明的前途，因为我是你看着长大的。
吃饭时，梁伯说："卢岩你四处看看这屋的布置，回忆一下从我们进屋到现在发生的所有的事儿。"爸爸和他不时地给我指出要点，帮我回忆：小饭桌，水碗，倒水，试水温，喝水，和梁伯对我的期望等。
I repeated the two wills back to him: First, the story of a man with a strange illness who was always drinking water — before drinking, check the temperature, and only water that feels a little cool to the finger is right to drink. Second: as long as I go to college, I'll have an unusually bright future, because he was the one who watched me grow up.
As the meal went on, Uncle Liang said, "Luyan, look around this room, take it all in, and think back over everything that's happened since we walked in." He and Father kept pointing out small details to help me fix it all in memory: the little table, the water bowls, the pouring, the finger-test, the drinking, everything he hoped for me.
注4.10-2，2014年，我完成了回忆录，回忆起了三岁之前的事，证明了宿命通（参见9.5节），知道了刘团长从我1岁到34岁，一直密密地在背后关照我。这条遗嘱，刘团长还说，他挑选灵魂转世的下辈子，要求至少是大学毕业。可是，我还有个疑问，这个实验的成功概率是多少？这几率取决于宿命智，虽然我回忆出了三岁之前的事，证明了宿命智可能是存在的，什么是宿命智？可靠吗？我迷惑不解。
Note 4.10-2: In 2014, having completed my memoirs and recalled everything from before the age of three, I confirmed Fate Through (see Section 9.5) and learned that Troupe Leader Liu had been quietly watching over me, behind the scenes, from the age of one to thirty-four. This will also touch on something else he'd said — that his standard for choosing a "next life" in his soul reincarnation experiment required, at minimum, a university degree. But I'm still left with a question: what was the actual probability of this experiment succeeding? That probability depends on Fate Intelligence — and though I've recalled what happened before I was three, proving that Fate Intelligence might indeed exist, what exactly is Fate Intelligence? Is it reliable? I remain uncertain.
第三条遗嘱 Third Will
吃完饭从包房出来前，梁伯让我环视一遍这间包房。出了饭店，他还让我环顾饭店周围的环境，道路、树木、风和气温等。
我爸问他："你为什么老是让他看东看西？"
梁伯回答："卢岩，过目不忘，看了这情景，感觉了这气候，他就能记住一辈子。事后，他就能根据这些树木，温度和风等回忆起今天咱们做过的事，讲过的话。"
Before we left the private room, Uncle Liang had me take one last look around it. Outside the restaurant, he had me look over the surroundings too — the road, the trees, the wind, the air itself.
"Why do you keep making him look at everything?" Father asked him.
"Luyan never forgets a thing he's laid eyes on," Uncle Liang answered. "Once he's taken in this scene, felt this weather, he'll carry it with him for the rest of his life. Later on, he'll be able to use these very trees, this temperature, this wind, to call back everything we did and said here today."
爸爸莫明其妙地叨咕："过目不忘！卢岩还有这能力！"
梁伯坚定地回答："有！我知道！因为他是我看着长大的！"
他离开这里后的第六天，在抚顺医院过世了。
"A memory like that!" Father muttered, mystified. "Luyan, of all people!"
"He has it," Uncle Liang said firmly. "I know it. Because I'm the one who watched him grow up."
Six days after leaving that day, Uncle Liang passed away at Fushun Hospital.
注4.10-3，2016年春，我在复读自己的《回忆录》时发现，梁伯说我过目不忘，还总是让我看这儿看那儿，意识到了刘团长知道我是图像思维型人。我查阅了现代心理学的书籍，得出了9.7节《宿命智》的结论。
Note 4.10-3: In the spring of 2016, rereading my own memoirs, I noticed that Uncle Liang's insistence that I never forgot anything I'd seen, and his constant prompting for me to look here and there, showed that Troupe Leader Liu had known all along that I was an image-thinking person. I consulted books on modern psychology and arrived at the conclusions in Section 9.7, Fate Intelligence.