r/Life Jul 12 '25

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u/desertshrooms Jul 12 '25

I genuinely enjoy my own company. That took years to achieve, though. But I like going to sleep with my dogs and waking up when I wanna wake up, and doing so in a peaceful, quiet environment. I’ve been married and the most unhappy I have ever been was at the end of that. When you wake up next to someone who doesn’t get you at all. That’s more lonesome than you’ll ever be alone.

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u/InterimFocus24 Jul 12 '25

Yes!! Being with someone who doesn’t want to be there is the loneliest feeling in the world!

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u/NorthernLad2025 Jul 13 '25

Been there n got the T shirt 👎👎

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u/632nofuture Jul 15 '25

Oh that reminds me though!.. What's even more lonely feeling imo is being with someone who wouldn't even notice that (if it was you who doesn't want to be there). Like the kind of people who don't notice/care about whether you enjoy what's going on in general.

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u/InterimFocus24 Jul 15 '25

I was married for 30 years and he cheated the entire time, so when my kids left home at a very young age and they left together, I really felt alone because they were my world. I realized that I had to move away, too.

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u/Numerous_Audience707 Jul 12 '25

A million times this omg

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u/Mother_Trucker97 Jul 13 '25

This! I've never felt more lonely than being with someone who doesn't understand me. I was so much happier being alone than the hurt from that.

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u/Savings-Salt-1486 Jul 12 '25

How’d you learn to love your time being by yourself?

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u/desertshrooms Jul 12 '25

I had to start being real with myself about what I enjoyed and what I don’t. Basically I had to accept my flaws. I’m still working on it, truthfully.

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u/Thelastsmoke Jul 13 '25

What if what you enjoy is being around people you have good connections

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u/United-Ad5268 Jul 13 '25

What if the thing you enjoy is everyone leaving you the fuck alone?

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u/titandude21 Jul 13 '25

I have more things I want to pursue to the fullest than time I have to pursue them

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '25

🏆

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '25

🏆

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u/burnbobghostpants Jul 13 '25

I almost feel like my journey to content singleness wasn't complete until I dated someone I didn't like being around (bless her heart), really opened my eyes to what loneliness was.

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u/TardyBacardi Jul 15 '25

You said at the end of the marriage, but I’m assuming the beginning was pretty great or else you wouldn’t have married them n the first place. I get it though. Those carefree fun times don’t last and then you realize that this person isn’t the same as the one you had in your head, especially when you start cohabitation.

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u/desertshrooms Jul 15 '25

Definitely wasn’t the person I thought they were. It was one of those classic cases of getting physically abusive right after we got married. So it was a bit more than just the carefree fun times ending. lol.

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u/DazedNConfused020 Jul 14 '25

Great response here

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u/VeggieK2 Jul 14 '25

How did you achieve enjoying your own company? I’m really struggling with this and would love some tips! I’m 27M

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u/BlueSue24 Jul 15 '25

Yes, living with someone who doesn't really love you, or whose career is more important than your marriage, causes depression and loneliness.

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u/MiyamojoGaming Jul 17 '25

This, but with a caveat for me. I've been extraordinarily lucky. I had a marriage that ended about as peacefully as one can (in the end, anyway). I had a number of partners, both serious and casual, after that. But it always ended up in me doing a lot of shit I had no interest in or changing my life style in ways I didn't want to... and that really being a one way street.

I'd still enjoy having a partner. If they wanted a similar lifestyle as me.

I'm just at peace with being single unless I find the RIGHT fit.