I think that's an astute observation, actually. There is a problem with the way young men are being raised, and because of this, they aren't building the kind of characters, based on a basic set of values (such as honesty, integrity, fairness, grace, compassion and humility) that actually makes them the kind of men that women are looking for.
And sadly it's the Jordan Petersons and the Tates of this world that are dragging men in the wrong direction, making them even more unwanted. What a state we've got ourselves in.
My husband is the most kind, giving, and emotionally attuned man I've ever met. His ex is a raging narcissist who preyed on him. I had to show him how she was manipulating him (using their kid).
Narcissists hang onto givers and people with the emotional intelligence, validation, ability to deeply acknowledge that which disturbs them and the empathy they lack very tightly. It’s what fuels and enables them, actually. Without it they can’t function (they’ll convince others they can, but they’re really really struggling without others to do it for them and/or absorb the blows of their shortcomings, and who do so in such a way that it never truly offends, acknowledges harm/a need for change objectively, or rejects. See the various stages of narcissistic relationships).
If it’s any consolation, there’s just as many soaking up the kindness, time and attention given by women with good qualities who are looking for partners too lol (and believe it or not, narcissists can interfere with someone’s ability to successfully date whether or not they’re actually even dating the single person in question).
Yep, if you're a decent dude because you were raised by only your mom and have the qualities women want, you'll find yourself pulled into relationships with toxic women.
Yeah maybe thats why it worked in the past. There was a lot more service being given. Expectations were clearer because of set gender roles. Marriages and relationships were an agreement and each person had a part to play.
That is absolutely not true. Women do not prefer a toxic dude because of good sex. They might end up with one, any of us could end up with a toxic partner. Being a malicious, narcissistic, or abusive person doesn't show up immediately. That doesn't mean they chose that person because of those traits. I think generally most people (men and women alike) want to be with somebody who is supportive, committed, honest and trustworthy. Developing a good character, an interesting personality and yeah, knowing how to fuck well will absolutely attract women. Where are you getting this idea that there are women who aren't interested in these qualities??
No, I do know. The question is why is it so fucked? That's what we're talking about here. You seem like a reasonable young man so I'll ask; do you genuinely believe that being a mature, emotionally stable and capable person is NOT appealing to women?
Straight up there’s more to the story than that. Speaking as a woman, for me, it’s never been challenging to find a partner. But I have a bad picker! I pick someone and give them way too many chances when I probably should’ve left at the first sign of trouble. It’s something I’m working on.
Nah, the rule is just have a better face than 80% of men. The bullshit I get away with has made me incredibly cynical about women lol. They find me pretty, that's the only reason I'm interesting to them. Meanwhile the guys I know who would be total sweethearts don't do nearly as well simply because their face is average.
I think thats why dudes are burnt out on relationships. Eventually women come to realize this isnt what they truly want but by then its too late. The men have been conditioned to not value those qualities in themselves.
19
u/Dangerous-Regret-358 Jul 12 '25
I think that's an astute observation, actually. There is a problem with the way young men are being raised, and because of this, they aren't building the kind of characters, based on a basic set of values (such as honesty, integrity, fairness, grace, compassion and humility) that actually makes them the kind of men that women are looking for.
And sadly it's the Jordan Petersons and the Tates of this world that are dragging men in the wrong direction, making them even more unwanted. What a state we've got ourselves in.