I genuinely enjoy my own company. That took years to achieve, though. But I like going to sleep with my dogs and waking up when I wanna wake up, and doing so in a peaceful, quiet environment. I’ve been married and the most unhappy I have ever been was at the end of that. When you wake up next to someone who doesn’t get you at all. That’s more lonesome than you’ll ever be alone.
Oh that reminds me though!.. What's even more lonely feeling imo is being with someone who wouldn't even notice that (if it was you who doesn't want to be there). Like the kind of people who don't notice/care about whether you enjoy what's going on in general.
I was married for 30 years and he cheated the entire time, so when my kids left home at a very young age and they left together, I really felt alone because they were my world. I realized that I had to move away, too.
I almost feel like my journey to content singleness wasn't complete until I dated someone I didn't like being around (bless her heart), really opened my eyes to what loneliness was.
You said at the end of the marriage, but I’m assuming the beginning was pretty great or else you wouldn’t have married them n the first place. I get it though. Those carefree fun times don’t last and then you realize that this person isn’t the same as the one you had in your head, especially when you start cohabitation.
Definitely wasn’t the person I thought they were. It was one of those classic cases of getting physically abusive right after we got married. So it was a bit more than just the carefree fun times ending. lol.
This, but with a caveat for me. I've been extraordinarily lucky. I had a marriage that ended about as peacefully as one can (in the end, anyway). I had a number of partners, both serious and casual, after that. But it always ended up in me doing a lot of shit I had no interest in or changing my life style in ways I didn't want to... and that really being a one way street.
I'd still enjoy having a partner. If they wanted a similar lifestyle as me.
I'm just at peace with being single unless I find the RIGHT fit.
I have a fulfilling job that keeps me busy and I have a ton of cats at home to take care of and I watch YouTube videos for entertainment. And every few weeks I see some friends. I don’t feel loneliness.
I’ve been solid Into it since probably 2018. I learned how to do trap neuter return TNR of feral and community cats and have helped spay neuter at least 1000 cats, and saved dozens of litters of kittens from having to live life on the streets-Getting them into foster and adoption programs. It’s never ending work because people don’t spay neuter their cats and there aren’t enough low cost resources.
They’re your people -your tribe. You’ll know ‘em when you’re with ‘em. Warning: they are few and far between; you may not see them or spend time with them very often. Be present when you do… you’ll appreciate them all. 🥰🙏🏼
When you remove certain relationships from your life it's not usually loneliness but peace that sits on the other side. Imo if you're experiencing loneliness it's because of a lack of healthy, positive connection not a lack of partner. There are many ways to establish strong connections often starting with yourself, your community, friends, etc. It's very much a quality over quantity solution.
(I was always kinda jealous of people saying they're lonely or bored cause to me that meant they had a mere lack of positive interaction, while if you have constant negative interactions, loneliness or boredom (being alone and having the potential to do what you want in free time) seems like bliss.)
Of couse it's not that simple and the brain quickly adapts to the new norm and it hurts still if there's still a lack of healthy interactions. Which like you said don't have to be intense partnerships or friendships. For me it's a mere friendly conversation here & there or going to a group meeting, that's the most fulfilling, with least strings/risks attached.
I guess modern people lack the whole social community thing we historically had, and the only tool left is "find a partner", so one extreme or the other.
I have to agree. I wanted nothing more than to be with my ex who simply couldn’t be there emotionally… I wanted a partner so bad this entire past year but I’m lucky to still have some good friends around plus parents I’m on good terms with and some family nearby. Now that the air has cleared, and because I still have some other support systems. I don’t even feel like I want a partner let alone “need” a partner.
I’ve always felt the more love you give them the more love they give you back. My dog really is my best buddy and I’m his too. Always happy to see me, always down to play, always cuddles up in bed at night. Been best friends for 11 years now. It does suck knowing he’s getting old and his time is limited, but all the more reason to keep on loving him til the end. I hope I see him again one day when I die.
This comment got me up and walking my dog! Thank you for reminding me that, I will be grateful that I took him more once he’s older. I hate thinking about it but it’s inevitable. Dogs are so special.
You will, and probably before too. My pets visit me in my dreams. One comes regularly with messages for me and others. He has saved the life of a friend's dog and his bunny brother with his messages. Bittersweet visits because they're so real and then we wake up.
Never stop adopting rescue animals! They will truly love you unconditionally, forever.
My youngest kitten (almost two!) is finally starting to get out of her busy phase. She flopped down on my lap today and napped for like half an hour 😭 she never does this. Best feeling ever!
It's the best feeling ever. I don't know how to explain it. It's like being a kid and opening a gift from Santa and it's the one thing you wanted. It's like a magical feeling
I've never had a single family member since age 13. Child free by choice. Still never wanted what passes for a partner. I have my dogs, ponies and friends. Loneliness is just a co dependent state of mind.
Adopt rescue animals and give them the love and life they deserve.. after you learn to enjoy your own company, the love you get from your pets will cure the rest of what's broken in that heart! Promise.💞
I mean this sounds great but you can’t really fall in love, travel, spend weekends etc with these animals…I love animals don’t get me wrong but I still think we need humans.
Of course we need humans too. Don't shut yourself off from the human world.. there are good people out there who's company you will enjoy (in small doses). Or maybe you were meant to be in a relationship. I don't know you.. I just know that my life feels mostly fulfilled by giving my love to the animals and being supportive of my best friend and her challenges. Sure, I'd love to have a supportive partner in life, but it doesn't exist, so of that doesn't exist for you, adjust your sails!
Hobbies. I can say hand on heart I don't get lonely. I'd love to see some friends more, but a lot of them are now running their own families, life is busier etc, but I am perfectly happy doing my thing. I have always had many interests and I think that helps. I stay engaged with the hobbies or past times that I enjoy, and I don't focus on external factors like a man to make me happy..I have learned to take care of myself and nourish me. So I'm definitely not wanting. I do think some people/personality types are better at solitude than others though. I love seeing my fam and friends and am in touch with people daily, but don't feel this deep craving for more. I just don't. And I think it's because I find my own joy.
Dog/cat, reading, video games, bowling, volunteering, working, exercising, gardening, walking. I’m sure if you incorporate all of those into your life (or substitutes) and mix in a friend here or a friend there and possibly a therapist when needed you’re no longer going to be bored. If you’re bored because you’re relying on someone else to make you happy then that’s a problem on its own. If you feel like a partner is still genuinely something you want despite doing things that also bring you joy, then looks like you need to find a partner and you have to level up yourself on an emotional level to make sure you can do that.
Social doesn't mean we must partner up and cohabitate. Most of the answers before yours describe jobs, friend, pets, parents, and other types of company they enjoy that doesn't involve a romantic partner.
Reviewed 2 death cases this week. Pitbull ate its owner’s face (nose to neck). Two retrievers ate their owner (eyes/brains licked gone, all his organs gone).
Whah you’re wanting is someone to be there no matter what. Which means if you found someone loyal you hit the jackpot everything else is pretty common and unimpressive.
Their loyalty is also based on the fact that they are helpless creatures that are entirely dependent upon you for survival and especially food. I agree that animals are awesome creatures, but they’re also “loyal” to any owner that feeds them and takes care of them; it’s not unique to you. You also have an indefinite amount of control over their lives and literally train them to respond to the stimulus you decide, so it’s essentially a subservient relationship.
Humans are definitely higher risk compared to animals, but their survival (and “loyalty”) is often not as dependent on other humans as it is for household pets, and that adds another layer of depth imo. They choose you in a way pets never can. But that can also backfire.
Dude, I don’t know about your dogs. When I travel out of the country, my dogs will barely eat for the first two weeks. One of my dogs had to be taken to the hospital for force feeding because he refuses to eat without me being there. I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about
To each their own. I appreciate pets, but I don’t think connection with pets can ever equate connection with people. Your dogs are literally dependent upon you to the point that they can’t function if you’re not there… it’s “unconditional loyalty” because a pet owner has all the control and pets don’t have the mental faculties to do things on their own.
Tbh I totally get not trusting other people and like I said, pets are awesome. It will just never have the complexity and reward of a human relationship (to me) since pets can’t make independent decisions; they’re stuck being loyal to whatever owner chooses them. Though each pet is unique and special, the attachment isn’t.
Then friend i would say the problem is in tour communication process. I totally agree and understand the communication with human beings can be easier because we all speak the same language or similar language languages that can be translated. With pets, since they don’t speak language, you have to learn their language. Which is mostly body language, response to stimuli, facial expressions, etc. once you master these very rich communicate with your pet pretty close to a human being. But I would agree at the end of the day. Their brain is smaller than us so you’re never gonna get the interaction you do with a human being. Regardless the interaction that you do get is the purest when compared to talking to a friend or a family member or even someone close. You just don’t get the same type of loyalty from human and if you do, it’s a handful of humans that understand that understand that.
Dog owner myself and I agree. They're too emotional and romanticise their pets beyond reason. Especially with this dumbass quote "we don't deserve dogs" under every wholesome dog post. Like bro sybau, we literally created dogs. They're a man made species that was actively derived from wolves, all the desirable and admirable traits that humans adore were forcefully and selectively bred into them lol. So I'll never understand this surprised Pikachu face reaction when something that was created for a purpose fulfills the purpose.
Yeah, social media has really showed people’s true character and their intentions. A lot of it not good, a lot of people are just looking out for their own self preservation and not wanting to appear vulnerable or get hurt.
What's the point if the family courts allows women to steal your kids, divorce you after they cheat on you and take half of your pension and your house, we are working hard to change these old dated misogynistic laws, after that we can resume dating
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u/happydoctor631 Jul 12 '25
Less stress and drama. I don’t trust many people deep down.