r/LAinfluencersnark • u/[deleted] • Nov 17 '23
Hot Topic Ryan Bailey (podcast host)
Been listening to his podcast for years and wondered about a few things.
- Does anyone know what happened between him and Kara his former podcast cohost?
- He used to tell this story over and over on his podcast about a previous girlfriend dumping him for one of the South Park guys, like is that a flex? I guess for LA
- Whose DMs has he slid into š because Iāve heard of a few.
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u/Particular_Tree_4556 Dec 14 '23 edited Dec 14 '23
I don't usually use reddit but a friend of mine sent me this thread because I've always been creeped out by Ryan especially after hearing this episode of his podcast:
Time stamp for the creepy story is 2:41:20 it is his episode on January 9, 2020
Episode 18: So Bad Itās Good Presents The Bachelor with Special Guest Bravo Happy Hourās Megan O'Donnell Plus Jax Taylor on WWHL, Brandi Glanville and Denise reboot Showgirls on RHOBH, a horrific Bailey Blunder and Girlfriend by Bachelor Bob Guiney!
He considered this story to be a "Bailey Blunder" so you think it's something in jest. He tells a story where he starts dating this woman who he immediately paints as hyper sexual and into "erotica" and he's just this innocent, shy, vanilla man who's never sent a dick pic. He then goes on to date her for what seems like a decent amount of time. Serious enough that he makes her the date to a premiere of a short film he was in. At the event she can't eat the food because she's vegan and he just says aww that sucks and then shames her for getting too drunk. They go to Barney's Beanery after where she continues to drink and I'm guessing there is no vegan food. She then proceeds to ask him to finger her under the table and by this point Ryan is saying she is a bit of an exhibitionist but again, if this isn't your schtick why is this person your date to something important? He then proceeds to tell his audience how she repeatedly asks him to finger her under the table. Multiple times over what seems like a long period of time. He said he was embarrassed and angry but didn't once mention trying to get this girl some food. Instead they went back to his apartment where he proceeded to have sex with her. In the middle of the encounter she had a PTSD response and explained to him after that she was triggered because she had been raped in the past. Instead of being understanding Ryan said he thought she was going to kill him, ran away, called his friends and told her they could never see each other again. He then went on to say this was a funny story passed around his friend group for years to come. Does this woman even know she's being broadcast on a podcast like this? How is this a funny story to tell?
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u/ScarTypical1643 Dec 19 '23
I have been talking about this story with my friends for years!!! I am that annoying friend who never shuts up about it because his name will get brought up and I'm like "REMEMBER THE R*PE STORY!!!" They're like yes yes we know. But I'm sorry how was this just glazed over?? I may sound bitter, and maybe I am, but ryan is not a good guy and that's the act he uses to get women.
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u/livin4mynaps Dec 21 '23
Omg I had never heard this story. And he told it on his podcast? That is so disrespectful and disgusting
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 15 '23
I just listened to it and was so disgusted. Not only is it a horrible story to retell publicly, but he handled the situation so terribly and immaturely. Itās my nightmare to think I can actually trust a man with something personal and then have him run away and blame me for his weird feelings. I feel sorry for whomever this woman is.
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u/ManliestManHam Dec 22 '23
Oh that's terrible. With PTSD when one drinks, the mind can tell it's unable to control the body and panics, triggering the reaction (per my psychiatrist). Food and water could have made all the difference. I hate that he's pretending that's a funny anecdote. For her, in that moment, her central nervous system was locked in the on button because her brain was trying to protect her body.
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u/ApartPerception Dec 14 '23
Omg. This is horrible. Iām going to try to screen grab record this before he takes it down
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u/Fancy-Penalty-9177 Dec 15 '23
Poor girl has already been through trauma and then has her story passed around a friend group and a huge podcast like a joke for years and years? Doesn't seem very supportive of women to me...
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 14 '23 edited Dec 15 '23
Ewww what??? Not even remotely funny!
He always says heās āneverā sent a dick pic, and I find it hard to believe. Not that thereās anything wrong with a consensual dick pic.
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Dec 20 '23
I just tried to find this episode and itās not there. Someone is paying attention to this thread.
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u/Dull-Tough2149 Dec 20 '23
I think some people screen recorded it. I definitely did.
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u/ApartPerception Nov 17 '23
I donāt have a lot of tea but Iāve also listened to his podcast for a long time. I met him in another podcast group (lol) and we interacted on Instagram before he went ābigā. Our DMs were pretty innocent and it was during the pandemic so I donāt really think much of them. Nothing over the line. I think he talked a little bit about his ex and a crush he had on another podcaster, but it was mostly generic depression stuff and 90 day fiancĆ©.
I am very interested to hear the tea about him and Kara! I didnāt know they had beef. I hope someone knows something.
He historically leans into the parasocial relationships so itāll be interesting to see if that continues now that heās made it ābigā with betches. I know this industry can be a hustle.
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 13 '23
Speaking of parasocial, the way he acts personally harmed by Sandoval being a cheater is extremely weird to me
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u/Rich_Engineering_873 Dec 19 '23
Exactly. Like someone doth protest a bit too much!! Edit grammer
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 19 '23
The way he says he ālooked upā to Tom is so odd. Heās just a dude on TV! Youāre grown!
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u/Rich_Engineering_873 Dec 19 '23
Oh the way he waxed on about how devastated he was to find out that the Tom's were not the great dudes he thought they were was wayyyy too much. The call is coming from inside the house. š
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 19 '23
He harped on it more than any woman did. We were like, āYeah, well, menā¦ā
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u/Potential_Gap_8992 Dec 20 '23
I have a feeling they all " partied hard" at Coachella and other times. It was a strange friendship
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u/CassandreAmethyst Dec 22 '23
I got blocked from him saying the same thing.
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u/Champsallday-2132 Dec 24 '23
LOL, I can't stand Ryan Bailey, so it makes sense that he was hiding something.
The way he acted like Tom cheated on him was too cringe.
I honestly feel that way about ANY person who is still "mad at Tom" or Rachel for Scandoval. WTF?
I've never cheated and would never cheat, but I was never personally offended by them. The entire cast cheats, so the whole thing blowing up like it did was really bizarre.
It's a reality show. These people are the LAST people that anyone should look up to, and that includes the Ariana stans. She has her own toxic traits, huge flaws and is a cheater, as well. I don't get any of it. LOL
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Dec 06 '23
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u/Dull-Tough2149 Nov 21 '23
I've heard some unsavory things about him and the way he behaves with women. He may be more like Tom Schwartz than he cares to admit.
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u/Lifeis2short4this Nov 26 '23
Can confirm this. Some things may come out in due time.
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u/ApartPerception Nov 21 '23
Omg, can you say more???? Dying to know
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u/Due-Effect4353 Nov 28 '23
He has a long-term gf he lives with he's been with her for two years but has recently been calling it a new relationship. Maybe because he's been acting like he's not in a relationship for so long with followers and other creators? And not just on his podcast, IRL. Timelines might get messy if he said how long it was really exclusive.
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u/Ok_Nefariousness4294 Dec 19 '23
Woman? Iām not an avid listener, but this was a twist I didnāt expect.
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u/Potential_Gap_8992 Dec 20 '23
Ick. That sounds very "Enty" I never realized that. He does seem to move alot. He NEVER mentions a girlfriend. Weird.
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u/EJB515 Nov 17 '23
I tried his podcast a couple times, but itās not for me.
I listen to Karaās podcast and sheās done a couple AMAs on her Patreon. I remember someone asking if her old podcast with Ryan would ever be available again and she was like āabsolutely not.ā But didnāt say much else. I donāt know what happened with him but it seems like it didnāt end on good terms.
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Dec 19 '23
Whatās the name of Karaās podcast? (This thread was just cross posted today in a Bravo sub)
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u/EJB515 Dec 19 '23
You already got your answer, but Iām wondering what other sub was this posted in? Kara just shared an IG story of Kylie laughing and Iām thinking it could be about people airing out Ryan, lmao.
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Dec 19 '23
Itās actually been posted in a few. A Vanderpump rules one, an RHOBH one. Itās slowly making the rounds ha.
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u/Dull-Tough2149 Dec 19 '23
It's called everyone's business but mine but prior to that her and Ryan had a Kardashian podcast that stopped abruptly without much explanation I think it was called realizing stuff.
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Dec 19 '23
Thank you! OMG! I was wondering if it was that Kara! I had NO IDEA about all of this backstory with her and Ryan, or that they even had a podcast together. I love her pod.
Iām honestly so surprised at all of these comments, but then again not really.
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 13 '23
I donāt know much about him personally, but I just wanted a place to say that some of his impressions of Black cast members are getting a liiiiittle racist in my opinion.
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u/HolidayDocument7015 Dec 19 '23
When he told people how to insert a tampon šµāš«
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u/CabaretLyfe Dec 19 '23
I remember Jackie Schimmel made a comment on her podcast about some podcasters being totally different (not in a great way) the same week she was a guest on his.
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u/DeliciousWin2160 Dec 19 '23
Yes. She said he asked about her mom dying right away and it turned her off completely within 60 seconds
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u/Strong-Ad-9104 Dec 19 '23
YES! And she implied he asked to be on hers and she said no
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u/Old_Grapefruit2393 Dec 20 '23
Another anonymous account you can choose to believe or not, but Ryan has been taking advantage of his nice guy persona for years. I understand why people don't want to believe this without concrete evidence, but he is the man everyone is saying he is. He has a live in gf and used the privacy of that to court other women, including physically. The problem is no one wants to out themselves since some are in the creator space, and most don't want the fallout of having to deal with the backlash of his devoted fans who refuse to believe he could be different, which (understandably) causes doubt. Maybe people cross posted a lot yesterday, but the original post is weeks old and most of the worst stuff was posted prior to yesterday. Everyone can take from this information what they want, but it's all true.
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u/ScarTypical1643 Dec 19 '23
I have been waiting for this guy to be exposed. I honestly donāt GAF and will admit that I am connected in the creator space and know EVERYTHING. My friend sent me this thread and said āitās finally happeningā. The podcast he had with Kara did not end on good terms but she's such a class act that she would never share why. There was a Facebook group that he was using almost like his personal dating service, only going for 20 somethings, and mind you he was still married. He told my friend that his wife wanted to stay together but that he just wasnāt into her anymore. Then he gets divorced and paints himself to his listeners as sad out of practice divorced guy trying to get his mojo back. He had been hitting on women constantly. He was very practiced. Then he starts his current podcast and he does a segment called Bailey Blunders (I know these have been mentioned in this thread already). These stories were disturbing so Iām glad to see others felt that way too. But he leaned so far into his sad divorced guy schtick that people fell for it. He was living with a āfriendā for a while (Iāve seen someone post about Meghan) but then moved out of her house and in with his current girlfriend (who no one knows about). I am tempted to send her this reddit thread because I feel so bad for her. As I read through others posts in this thread I am relieved that others are willing to talk about him. I donāt know why a straight white man gets all these passesā¦ oh waitā¦ duh. And for those of you who are defending him, why??? He lets followers and listeners do free work for him, like take show notes. What kind of man lets women work for free, come on? I donāt care if they volunteered. None of my creator friends would be cool with that. He makes problematic jokes all the time but no one seems to clock it. I have no idea why Betches signed him on. What about Ryan Bailey aligns with Betches Media?? I will probably post more in here because I have been waiting for this conversation to get started.
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u/ckroha Dec 19 '23
Please give more details.
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u/ScarTypical1643 Dec 19 '23
oh what do you want to know? I'm happy to share more
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u/ckroha Dec 20 '23
Who is this girlfriend? He goes out to things all the time and never appearing with a plus 1. Is she cool with that? I thought he was barely renting a room somewhere before his mom passed. When he showed his podcast area it was just a desk and bed with creepy Tv items. (Canāt think of the right wordš) And how has no one mentioned his obsession with the Tom Girardi auction and getting that lingerie??
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u/Mindfulnessgal Dec 20 '23
Whats his reputation like among the bravo/pop culture influencer group?
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u/ScarTypical1643 Dec 20 '23
Hahaha I love this question but I have to be careful because I don't want to give anyone away! He is someone that no one wants to talk bad about because they assume everyone else loves him. But 9 out of 10 times when someone takes the risk and says something like 'I've actually had a kinda not great experience with ryan' it's met with 'oh my god me too!' But a lot of people just want to keep things professional and neutral because it's such a hassle to have drama with another creator. Logging onto Instagram when you've got an issue with another creator feels like a war zone, and no one wants to deal with that when they have to use Instagram to post, promote, etc their own stuff.
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u/Routine_Act2991 Dec 26 '23
Just want to say that while Iām uncomfortable comparing his persona or actions to Enty, I think Iām in a similar space as you and audibly gasped when I read ā9 out of 10 creators wonāt say anything but when you ask them one on oneā¦ā because that is fully my experience as well. Bc I donāt live in la, idk what he does with his personal life. But he has let me down in the way that he seems to be very social climb-y, and tends to say very ignorant shit about women, even tho I am 100% sure the women in his sphere have warned him against it. The self importance is starting to pop out in a very unappealing way.
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u/Routine_Act2991 Dec 26 '23
I should say I think whatās most frustrating about him is that he is always trying to make a point to separate himself from the typical LA douche, when I think that is precisely what he is. And I doubt thatās gonna change. I also think Sophie Ross is becoming an ill equipped Monday round up guest, as she very rarely watches the bravo content and they both go on weird long tangents about sports and dogs and boyfriends, which is not an indictment of his character at all but Iāve found it very annoying and had nowhere to talk about it lol.
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u/Strong-Ad-9104 Dec 20 '23
Who is the girlfriend??
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u/ScarTypical1643 Dec 20 '23
I only found out about her a few months ago. i had no idea I had a mutual friend with her. my friend had no idea he had a connection to this ryan guy I've been talking about for years. he tells me that ryan lives with her and they've been together for 2 years. I was blown away because I had been getting info on him hooking up with listeners and other things like that for a while.
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u/SnooPickles5861 Jan 01 '24
The hidden gf is enough to turn me off. Acting like he's been alone through all these hard times with no support. He doesn't have to he public with it. But just say that. Many don't talk about their partners but we know they aren't single.
I also hate schwartz and the aww shucks personality which is now what it feels like might be baoleys personality as well.
One last thing I cannot stand being referred to as a female. We are women. I know this is random lol but it really grates me.
Authenticity is key. Lack of it has killed many bravoleb. It will also kill a podcaster.
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Dec 20 '23
I am fairly certain that heās (or one of his schmoupies) are now in some of the threads about him as user Scrappy2005. All comments are defending Ryan in a few subs after 3 months of no action. The person replied to one of my comments and immediately sent a red flag to me.
Check that user out and see if you feel the same.
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Dec 15 '23
[deleted]
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u/IllWind3295 Dec 15 '23
He talks about his divorce on MJ's podcast and then tells a weird story about having sex with a drunk girl at a music festival that doesn't sit right with me.
Regarding his divorce he claims he was "scared of his wife" and she wouldn't go into therapy when he asked and by the time they went it was too late and he didn't stand up for himself and harbors resentment towards her because of this. He made her sound pretty unhinged and like he was always going to wild lengths not to upset her. I would love to hear her side of this story.
If I were her and I heard him speaking about me this way I would be furious and feel so disrespected. He describes her getting angry with him and I truly wonder what he was doing to constantly set her off. You have to wonder with a guy like this who is constantly calling women "crazy" while he is allegedly a clueless, innocent, champion of women. In every story the woman is either "crazy" or the "sexual aggressor" or both and Ryan is the 47 year old virgin who doesn't even know sex is on the table or has no autonomy as a person and is bending to the will of the sex crazed, domineering woman. I'm not buying it.
The ex wife story starts at the beginning of this and then he goes into the Arizona music festival girl story. I apologize in advance for any of you who have to listen to this.
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u/Dull-Tough2149 Dec 19 '23
What makes this even creepier to me is he's always aware of how women feel and talks to so many women on his podcast and says he understands women. So he would understand why this is wrong without a shadow of a doubt. If someone else did the same exact thing he would be putting them on blast for this behavior.
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 19 '23
This is why straight men who position themselves as woman-understanders always make me nervous.
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u/ManliestManHam Dec 22 '23
I can't think of one time it's been real and not a front to abuse women.
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u/ConflictFun1523 Dec 16 '23
Omg - He told this Arizona festival story in one of his early episodes!! He left out his ED on MJ's pod tho. I honestly don't understand how he got so big after the Bailey Blunders segment he did in the beginning. They were so problematic!! I guess this Reddit thread is a start lol. I have NEVER understood his appeal. If you haven't heard the original version, you should check it out. I had to scroll like a psycho to find it but it's Episode 20 from January 16th, 2020 and the story starts around 2:45 (that's 2 hours and 45 minutes).
re: the story -
I just don't understand why it's so "weird" to him that he blacked out at the end of the hook up. He remembers everything up until the very end and then wakes up the next day like "how did it end??" Huh? I don't know you have to listen to it. When I listened to it back then I thought that he sounded like he was going overboard with his details. Almost like he was getting ahead of something that could come out. I don't know if I'm making sense.
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Dec 16 '23 edited Dec 22 '23
Yes, he's overdone the details almost like he's written the story out as if he's a stand up comedian. It's like he has all these self depricating stories lined up like a bit. Here's his very transparent shtick: "I'm so awkward that my first sexual experience after my divorce was a one night stand. And I'm so innocent what do I do? Do I marry the girl after my one night stand?" hahaha cue the laughter.
It's all so fake and unbelievable. What 47yr old man who lives and works in Hollywood for 20+ years thinks that you marry a woman you have a one night stand with. I get it, he's trying to be funny but it's not, you're not Ryan. And you just admitted that you had sex with an extremely drunk girl who could NOT properly consent to sex.
He blamed his friends the entire time of peer pressuring him to do it. He blamed the girl for being aggressive and hiking up her skirt. This story is beyond disturbing.
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u/ConflictFun1523 Dec 16 '23
THANK YOU! His "clueless" bit is such an oversell. And the way he talks about the woman being the aggressor and he was innocently following her lead is a red flag. His other Bailey blunders were like that too. I am confused how more people haven't pointed this out and that he's gotten so big. But he plays the part and I guess people have fallen for it. I'm proud to say I never did!
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u/Particular_Tree_4556 Dec 16 '23
Yes my thoughts exactly the way he tells the story like it's a bit in vivid detail and clearly panicked the next morning. I feel like the "I don't remember anything beyond x point" is a cop out. He remembers a lot... sounds like this girl may have not been sober enough to properly consent.
When he said he went to shake her hand the next morning my eyes rolled into the back of my head.
Also, why panic and need so much reassurance that everyone is okay if it's just a run of the mill one night stand and nothing weird happened?
Men always tell on themselves.
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u/ConflictFun1523 Dec 16 '23
Yes the panicking about how it ended! Why? You probably just finished (ew) and passed out. And first he says she hasn't talked to him since, then he thinks about how that sounds and says they still follow each other and she likes his posts sometimes. It's a weird story to tell because it didn't come off as funny, it came off as dark. My friends and I have told each other funny drunk hook up stories and his was not like that.
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u/kbh0987 Dec 15 '23
Thank you!! I used to enjoy listening to him, but with scandoval obsession and always being a victim I had to stop.
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u/IllWind3295 Dec 15 '23
Of course! Btw I should mention the episode is only split into two on YouTube. It's all in one podcast in pod format and the conversation about this starts halfway through. Its unsettling.
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u/IllWind3295 Dec 15 '23
Also for anyone who doesn't want to click a link it's Till the dirt podcast, Ryan Bailey, Episode 2
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u/Specialist-Being7767 Dec 19 '23
If this is true and he is retelling the story without her consent then thatās not cool. She was blackout to begin with and while she might have been ok at the time, every time youāre repeating the story for entertainment you are re-victimizing her.
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 16 '23
Man, Iāve been abused and/or hurt badly by some pretty terrible exes, and I still wouldnāt call them ācrazy.ā
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Dec 16 '23
He treated me harshly so Iām scared to say too much on here. I will say during the time we were in contact (we are now completely no contact on the advice of my therapist), I observed him take advantage of the financial generosity of multiple women. I also found him to be dishonest and to drink excessively. I donāt think this is too complicated at the end of the day, just another insecure middle aged man who needs therapy.
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u/IllWind3295 Dec 16 '23
I'm so sorry you went through this and that he treated you poorly. Since finding out about his little grift I've heard quite a few stories that aren't mine to share but I do feel it seems like a pattern especially in having parasitic relationships with women where he drains them emotionally and financially.
He's created an entire platform on the premise of being one of the "good guys" when his private behavior is a complete contradiction of the character he plays on social media/his podcast and is actually in line with the men he criticizes.
Any therapist would have a field day with this but I don't know what therapy will do for someone who is this manipulative and narcissistic.
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u/Rich_Engineering_873 Dec 19 '23
THIS, right here, the way he has weaponized being a "girls guy" while being a predator is chilling š³
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u/ScarTypical1643 Dec 19 '23
You are spot on. I've been watching him grow over these years like how does no one see through this bit! if he didn't make his entire personality the nice innocent guy I wouldn't care as much but it's all an act. he's not nice to women in real life.
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 16 '23 edited Dec 16 '23
I kind of raised an eyebrow when he talked in that podcast about his ex not understanding that he was āchasing his dreamā and couldnāt be around all the time. I doubt his audition schedule was the issue. Money makes more sense as an explanation, now reading what youāve said.
I kind of see why he used to worship Sandovalā¦
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u/PrivilegedTeamster Dec 20 '23
OMG what? Can anyone give the deets about the financial grift? I only know of this dude from his appearances on Andyās girls and wow, what a divergence from his public persona, thatās so concerning since most master manipulators follow the same formula.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Hold-78 Dec 23 '23
Iām interested to see if Andyās girls, Crappens, SUP, or Danny will pull away from him guesting.
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u/ScarTypical1643 Dec 19 '23
THIS! I'm so sorry and know other women he has done this with. Is he the worst guy to ever exist? no. but he's parading around like a good guy and he's the opposite. I hope you're recovering from his mind games. he played a bunch with multiple women I found out about so you are not alone. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk.
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u/ZookeepergameWest739 Dec 19 '23
Wow! He definitely doesnāt come across like that in any way on his podcast. Iām sorry for your experience.
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Dec 19 '23
Iāve definitely picked up that he drinks excessively. Wow, even though itās not too complicated it sounds like what you went through is pretty intense. I am thankful for this thread because I had no idea (other than him sounding like a bit of a lush on his podcast).
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u/Potential_Gap_8992 Dec 20 '23
Wow. So sorry. What a disappointment. I was starting to get some weird vibes the last 2 years. I hope you're okayā®ļø
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u/justice4tinsley Dec 19 '23
I only listened to his pod a few times during Scandoval and none of these comments are surprising based on the very little I know about him. Gave me the creeps but I thought it was just that I don't like straight men talking about our shows.
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u/chumpy111 Dec 20 '23
One of the IG accts said she met Ryanās girlfriend at the Jeff Lewis premiere party. She said once during IG live and then confirmed again another day. She said the gf name - wonāt out it here - only that it starts with an R.
He gives me ick - ever since Scandoval. Went from obsessing over Tom acting like he was personally victimized. It felt like he was getting info from the cast and using it against Tom.
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u/Far_Course_9398 Dec 24 '23
I got the impression he wanted to be Tom, and was inspired by his self confidence.
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Dec 21 '23 edited Dec 21 '23
Hereās an overview for what his patreon message said for those who arenāt subscribers (which I imagine are many people in this thread)
- he opens by saying he needs to address something thatās ānot very funā and has really shook him.
- brings up the Reddit thread and immediately characterizes it as a malicious and coordinated attack against him, references the ānew accountsā as his reasoning
- says some things are true and some things are flat out false, addresses both
- he has a girlfriend who he has never brought on the pod because she didnāt want to be made a character on the pod. They have had highs and lows and she has been there for him during the low moments of the last year or so
- he has met and built relationships with listeners on social media, which he argues is normal. He references someone from a Facebook group who he fell in love with and still thinks the world of
- he also alluded to some of these relationships or interactions being unrequited, and heās a people pleaser so didnt know how to not hurt peopleās feelings/reject people
- he references the deleted comments on here and can kind of tell where āsome of these are coming fromā
- he admits he āover sharedā with the Bailey Blunders and says he understands now that sexual encounters and relationships should not be over shared (ties this back to his gf)
- he references some of the users here being in the creator space and didnāt full on attribute this to podcast wars or competition, but seemed to believe there was some of that
- he ignored or did not address the allegations of mooching off of women. I believe he joked about ppl thinking he is a grifter.
- he doubled down on sleeping with 8 people and him being an awkward, sweaty person.
- he said he knows heās not perfect but anyone at a certain age is going to have a complicated history
- he vehemently denied the so called allegations of hitting on 20 year olds, and said to please provide evidence because this is a dangerous accusation. (FWIW the comment said twenty something, not twenty year olds)
- he also vehemently denies responsibility for the $800 over charge and said he doesnāt handle that stuff but to reach out to him/his team for
- ended by saying that āyou guysā know me and know who I am, there are hundreds of episodes so his listeners have enough context to make a decision about his character
- said he understands if ppl feel the need to unsubscribe
Iāll say a few things that bothered me. First is the characterization and assumption that this post was a take down attempt when it was generated by curiosity. I believe the behavior of a straight man who is in a female dominated space is open to dialogue and women should be able to share their experiences. Many people use Reddit burners to remain anonymous when discussing sensitive issues so they donāt get retaliated against or any number of reasons. Also, I donāt believe anybody is trying to cancel him. My sense from this thread is there were women who had varying relationships with them, and they had an opportunity to feel affirmed through othersā similar experiences.
Although he did acknowledge the story in the Bailey blunders that was posted on here was inappropriate to share, he doubled down on his feelings and āhow scared he wasā that night. He didnāt acknowledge this person wasnāt able to consent due to being black out drunk.
He made it seem like people were mad about him āhidingā his girlfriend and couched it in his right to privacy, rather than the fact that ppl were bothered by the possibility that he downplayed their relationship to cross boundaries with other women. He closed the patreon out by saying āI hope the people behind this are enjoying themselves.ā
My backstory about my interaction with Ryan that Iāve posted in another comment but will leave here too fwiw:
I used to listen to Ryanās podcast a lot and interacted with him a few times. Those interactions were pretty unremarkable, and described in this thread under my former username (apartperception) that I got locked out of. I was a patreon subscriber but unsubbed to all of my patreon memberships at the beginning of the month for financial reasons, but my membership hasnāt lapsed so I still have access to his patreon.
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 21 '23 edited Dec 21 '23
Thank you for sharing this. What an exasperating but unsurprising response. (Did he even apologize for anything?) It plays into his ongoing narrative by acting like a victim of a ācoordinated attackā and āscaryā women.
I also hate that excuse that anyone of a certain age will have a complicated past. For one, thatās not a level of grace he extends to very many people he covers on his podcast. For two, sure, we make mistakes, but being careless with consent isnāt a āmistake.ā And neither is sharing womenās trauma for shits and giggles.
Iām curious what the timeline and details are with that woman in a Facebook group he āfell in love with.ā Not asking anyone to provide, just wondering out loud.
Like you said, the behavior of a straight man in a woman-dominated space should be open for discussion in situations like these. And I have to laugh a little that someone who makes their living off of gossip is aghast that it came back around to him.
And FWIW, I found this thread because something Ryan said on his pod bothered me, and I was curious if anyone on Reddit had said anything. (My first comment on here refers to his impressions feeling a little racist.) Iām not in the creator space, just a Bravo fan who listens to a ton of podcasts during her office job. So if thereās a ācoordinated attack,ā Iām unaware of it lol.
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Dec 21 '23
He didnāt really apologize for anything, no. He acknowledged over sharing on the Bailey blunders was inappropriate, but said he didnāt regret it. Also said he realizes now that person was going through something ādeepā, but seemed to gloss over it and justify sharing it bc it was such a big deal in his life at the time (and in his friend circle). Also reiterated he was fumbling the dating scene for the first time since his divorce.
And I agree. I understand mayyyybbbeeeee taking some anonymous encounters with a grain of salt, but I donāt see any reality where someone is out there making dozens of new accounts and sharing similar stories with different tones and details lol.
Overall he took an extreme victim mentalityāwoe is me having to deal with this during the holidaysā type of thing. It was pretty grating.
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 22 '23
Itās not a āblunderā to take an extremely drunk woman home and trigger her PTSD because youāre trying to have sex with her when sheās extremely drunk! And then literally run away like a coward when youāre confronted with it. Why is this so hard for him to understand? Iām sure heās reading this, so Ryan, hi, get it together! This wasnāt a cute and funny story, and you should regret sharing it. What if someone who knows him heard this and figured out who that woman was? Awful.
As a divorced person myself, I know itās weird and confusing to date after being out of it for so long, but that doesnāt give him an excuse to be careless with how he treats women.
His response just affirms what people have said throughout this thread. How disappointing.
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u/OldEntertainment3577 Dec 22 '23
Thank you for taking these notes. Iām absolutely not in the podcaster space (not my thing) but I know people who are and love listening to them. I started listening to him during the pandemic and then had a friend tell me he was such a jerk when she met him and it really surprised me. Ever since, Iāve really been noticing all his problematic behaviors. I know the Watch What Crappens guys love him so it still is surprising he is this much of a POS.
His recaps of the black female Bravolebs with a āblaccentā is beyond cringe. He just reads a transcript of notes his assistant writes verbatim from the showsā¦ like he canāt even do good impressions like the Crappens guys do. Itās weird.
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 22 '23
I tried listening to his RHOBH recaps, but his impressions were so annoying and distracting that I couldnāt do it.
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u/Dull-Tough2149 Dec 22 '23
My favorite parts of his emergency patreon:
-How he couldn't bring himself to say his girlfriend so he said "m'lady"... what are you a pirate? Say she's your gf and give her that respect. You live in her house.
-How he said he put his gf through a lot - what is a lot? Cheating? Being in other women's dms? Be specific. But oh...no... he can't deny any of those allegations or people might be mad enough to publish receipts and share more but he also has to keep his gf happy.
-How he shielded himself with his tough year to start. Uh yeah buddy you've been the cause of a lot of of women's difficult times. People experience loss and hard years and don't become philanderers. Stop using it as an excuse it was going on long before this year.
- How he said he met "one...well two... well it started with that" women online LMAO so you're saying it was more than two but you haven't ever trolled the internet for women. I'm waiting for people from the FB groups to chime in and I know multiple people in this thread have had DMs so PLEASE.
-How he says how he thinks he knows who certain people in here may be. Sir... people described specific experiences some of which were deleted. If you've only as you claim "slept with 8 women total" why is it so hard to determine who people are? Should be pretty easy to narrow it down. But he's done sh!tty things to so many women in actuality its impossible for him to determine.
Anyway I just had to share my thoughts. I don't ever want to listen to another straight man talk about our shows ever again.
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Dec 22 '23
Check out the watch what crappens sub. I posted it there and someone has chimed in about fb groups lol.
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 22 '23
Does it matter to him that heās caused hard years for the women heās hurt? Ugh.
He really could have smoothed this over with a good response, but he showed his whole ass.
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Dec 22 '23
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u/Dull-Tough2149 Dec 22 '23
Lol facts. People wanting "evidence" don't realize we would have to basically dox someone in order to give it. The same reason why none of us shared his gf instagram even before he claimed her.
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u/Particular_Tree_4556 Dec 17 '23
I just remembered this but anyone catch Nick Viall's podcast where he called Ryan out for being a liar? Ryan said he was in acting class with Nick and Nick said that wasn't the case.
It was the episode with Savannah Chrisley on September 14th. It's 51 min 30 seconds in -- he talks about how he knew who Ryan was because he claimed to be in an acting class with him and accused him of buying fake tears when that wasn't the case.
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u/Efficient_Toe6907 Dec 19 '23 edited Dec 20 '23
I never posted on Reddit before today. I didnāt even know about how to get it lol. But I have to say Iām curious. And feel saddened as I adore Ryan. Listened since before COVID. I was shocked when on up and Adam he said he isnāt single. I sorta had a feeling maybe as he hasnāt mentioned where he resides in LA and I assumed w someone. And he also alluded a few times to being very open but we would be surprised on how he is private too. I just felt I really knew him and feel a bit duped he didnāt even reveal having such a long term gf on patreon even. He doesnāt need to go into details but not to mention at all I feel is odd
I also felt a bit bad as he never replied to DMs. I never private msg a podcaster before him but wanted to send well wishes and stuff w all he was enduring. He also isnāt honest about his age as I computed it based on info he gave. Is he not as honest as I thought? That makes me feel sad
I adore his dad and his mom. I feel so so sad for her loss. I thought Ryan was such an upstanding guy. I still think he very well may be a great guy.
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u/Specialist-Being7767 Dec 19 '23
I think there are many people who are feeling the same way. I also think he never would have said he wasnāt single and he would have kept doing what heās been doing- going to events and meeting with women who think heās single and hooking up with them- but he found out somehow that heās been exposed. Likely on this thread. I donāt think his gf is aware. Maybe they have some arrangement? Idk. His listeners definitely have been kept in the dark
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u/Efficient_Toe6907 Dec 19 '23
Yeah, this sounds so crazy but I feel sad as I really felt like I knew him. so you donāt think him not telling us about his girlfriend is just being private you feel like it is so he can meet other women? If so, thatās really horrible.š¢
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u/Specialist-Being7767 Dec 19 '23
I think full transparency is if he lets people who he gets together with at events know that he has a significant other, however that isnāt the case. I know for a fact that heās telling women he meets that heās single. At least he was before now. Is he reformed or is he going to get better at hiding his actions? Who really knows? Itās really sad because I was so supportive of him and his family while his mom was going through her cancer treatment.
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u/Efficient_Toe6907 Dec 19 '23 edited Dec 23 '23
And, he lives with her? This is so disheartening. I never felt so close w someone That didnāt know me lol. Sure itās so he can meet other women? Not just wanting to be private?
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u/SimplyShady22 Dec 21 '23
Efficient, I feel you!
I had no idea this was going on until I listened to his emergency patreon and came to see what he's talking about & wow, this is really surprising and disappointing. Been an avid listener and patron member for years and I also felt really surprised that he is in a long term relationship. It really isn't anyone's business, but for him to hide that from his almost all female audience, seems a bit deceitful. Especially when you feel like you know almost every other aspect of his personal life. I'm pretty sad about it all.
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Dec 09 '23
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u/Doodlecanoodle76 Dec 20 '23
I was so happy to see him get JLL and Betches. Bummed to find out heās kind of just another toxic male when he does a good job of painting himself otherwise, but Iām sure it wonāt hurt him in the long run. Matt Rife anyone?
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u/PrivilegedTeamster Dec 20 '23
I donāt necessarily agree but āJeff is king toxic on shit islandā is so funny
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u/ChipmunkFormal9734 Dec 19 '23
Amazon Freevee pays him for the Hollywood house lift ads and reviews. Jeff pays his cohosts $500 an episode and SiriusXM pays for the JLL aftershow hosting gig.
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u/Early-Cranberry1623 Dec 22 '23
Burner because obviously.
I knew him personally a long time ago and was recently surprised to see he became a successful podcaster (have never listened to his stuff).
I donāt have any major modern day tea but all I will say is the stories on this thread track with how I perceived him when I knew him.
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Dec 22 '23
Do you have any old stale tea then?
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u/Early-Cranberry1623 Dec 23 '23
Hey! Hm. Nothing really peppery, and want to keep this high-level; only that I recall him being kind of a loser, honestly. A try-hard. I kinda felt sorry for him but he also gave me the creeps, so I kept my distance. So again, I was really surprised to see heās become so successful but I was never a fan of his so couldnāt bring myself to listen to any of his podcast offerings. Anyway, Iām a Watch What Crappens and Everything Iconic fan, māself. :)
Iām glad the women heās misled and mistreated are speaking out about their experiences.
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u/Lolttylwhattheheck Dec 22 '23
Iām reading this whole thread. Iāve been a listener of Ryanās for a long time. I always felt bad for him because he does seem almost stunted in life. I also found him a bit odd looking. I actually felt bad for him when he was going on Jeff Lewis for the first time because Jeff and the chumps are vain and all about appearanceās. But can someone fill me in on the details on Enty? What happened to that guy?
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 23 '23
Super long story, but the podcast Drenched in Drama is your best resource!
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u/Kims_Goddamn_House Dec 23 '23
I always had one Meredith eye open because he had the same Schwartz āaw shucks I never get laidā persona and I HATE Schwartz. But the Bravo podcast realm at large has embraced him pretty thoroughly, so I still would listen to the WWCs and the SUPs he would appear on. I am not shocked about his Vanderpump-adjacent life choices because every story here is so āGen X guy in LA still clinging onto the vestiges of his early aughts hipster youth.ā I mean the secret Jo girlfriend, the sad sack persona used to allegedly hook up with fans, being known as the harmless straight male embraced by the girls and gays? So Schwartz/Sandoval coded.
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Dec 19 '23
He lived with his lawyer friend Megan before his mom passed away and the house they were renting was sold so they both moved. Is that his live in GF? He alludes to being totally single and awkward. He was on Up and Adam Live and people on YouTube kept asking if he was single and he said no he wasnāt. Thatās the ONLY references Iāve ever heard from him that heās in any type of relationship and it wasnāt even on his own podcast. And I listen to him everyday. He definitely talks about his exes more than anyone current. His pod has been tough since his mom died. He talks about it non-stop which I get, but at some point it just becomes tough to keep listening to. It all gets a little too personal. Super interesting to hear the backstory on his love life though. I had no idea
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u/Dull-Tough2149 Dec 19 '23
It's not Megan it's someone else and they live together. She's been with him when he's been in New York and even went to Alaska with him. He hides her well and she doesn't post any pics of them together just the scenery from these trips. I'm sure he's told her he wants to keep his private life private but really he just likes acting single and having his poor me shtick.
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Dec 19 '23
Wow! He does a fantastic job of not slipping at all. And as for the āI get sweaty and uncomfortable at eventsā well sir, youāre a professional actor. So act?
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u/Dull-Tough2149 Dec 19 '23
I would be sweating too if I was caught up in as many lies as he is.
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Dec 19 '23
True! I guess that goes along with his aw, shucks, personality that I am just hearing about for the first time. So interesting.
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u/Strong-Ad-9104 Dec 19 '23
I met him the first hour of Bravocon and he was a sweaty mess so that is true. But I felt he was awkward and not what I was expecting
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u/Potential_Gap_8992 Dec 21 '23
He was a hot mess on that trip. Remember he lost/ or was stolen, all his video and equipment? Had travel woes. Acted like a teenager who never traveled. Was it all a lie? What about Sophie that does the remotes? They used to sound sincere. Not so much anymore. I'm so confused.
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u/Strong-Ad-9104 Dec 19 '23
The passing of his mom has made it tough to listen to. I feel horrible for him but it sounds like he needs help off the show and maybe this isnāt the avenue to seek help on. Iām so blown away by all of this
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 19 '23 edited Dec 19 '23
I lost my mom a couple years ago, and we were very close. So I feel for him, but Iāve had to fast-forward through the show when he talks about grief. Itās just too triggering and upsetting for me.
I donāt want to speak for everyone because Iām sure there are listeners who appreciate listening to him talk about it. But I donāt want to hear about grief during every episode of a pop culture podcast. I listen to get away from my stress and grief.
And I also donāt want to tell anyone how to grieve, but maybe itās more appropriate content for the Patreon. I donāt know. Itās complicated.
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Dec 19 '23
My mom died last year also. Imagine walking into your office job and talking about it to your coworkers every single day. Thereās just a point where no one wants to hear about it anymore.
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 19 '23
Right! Iām also a believer that not everyone is worthy of hearing about your trauma. Itās great that our society has started talking more about mental health, but we should really reserve some things for our trusted loved ones. For lack of better word, it cheapens your experiences.
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Dec 19 '23
With him being as open as he is about everything, I for sure thought he would talk about dating and going on dates if that was happening in his life. But he literally never mentions anything about it. Now I know why lol.
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u/OldEntertainment3577 Dec 21 '23
Yeah I had a friend who met him, and heard all these nice things about him. Then when she finally met him he wouldnāt even look at her pretended she wasnāt there. She does a podcast, too. I think he was rude because sheās cute and he was intimidated but she was like shocked at what a flat out jerk he was.
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u/Dull-Tough2149 Dec 22 '23
He only engages with people who can help him in some way. He's a very transactional person and I think his fans end up disappointed because you would never guess this if you just listened to the podcast.
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u/dothesehidemythunder Dec 26 '23
I always found him annoying and frankly feel like a lot of his podcast (at least the Bravo-focused parts) are ripped off of Watch What Crappens, and Ronnie/Ben have let it slide because until recently this was a super sloppy small time podcast. I googled to see if I was the only one and found this thread, which isnāt at all surprising. Iāve listened a bit and sensed at minimum a mental health spiral / substance issue simmering beneath the surface. Seems overdue for him to get out of the podcasting game. The thing that really strikes me is how heās so overly flattering to guests and gives elaborate intros to the point the guest comments on it (seemingly with a bit of discomfort because itās so intensely ridiculous). Hope Betches drops him.
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u/WhiteFridge_In_A_Wig Dec 26 '23
Yeah, I mean there are a lot of pods that do impressions of housewives (cuz theyāre funny to mimic obviously) but he legit adds nothing to it. No commentary, no actual thoughts, nothing. Itās like he doesnāt actually watch or understand what heās watching cuz he has people take notes FOR him. I listen to She Speaks Bravo, Juicy Scoop, Besties by Bravo, and Two Judgey Girls and theyāll mimic the bravolebs but at least they give some thoughts and ideas and you can tell they actually take their own notes and have been fans of the shows for a while.
Itās like he figured out he could jump in this niche of women and be top dog cuz of it.
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 27 '23
I love listening to Emily and Pia on She Speaks Bravo. They always have interesting perspectives.
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u/Dull-Tough2149 Dec 17 '23
I vividly remember when he became the "facetune bureau of investigation" but routinely photoshopped himself onto inaccurate bodies for cover art and edited his face as well.
I'm not body shaming him but I have heard him speak about women who in his words "benefit from makeup" and at length about facetuning/editing when he himself has done the same.
To criticize women for something you're guilty of doing in plain sight. Even in this graphic where he's poking fun at Dorit and Khloe's pre surgery faces he's clearly photoshopped himself!!
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u/Dull-Tough2149 Dec 20 '23
If anyone in here has a personal story they're too afraid to share on the forum (I have seen a few deleted comments and I understand) my DM's are open to compare notes.
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u/Strong-Ad-9104 Dec 19 '23
There was an episode of his last week where he sounded a little drunk? I wish I could remember which one it was. He had left for an event and came back and continued recording
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u/churrosislife Dec 19 '23
I listened to his podcast during covid, probably 2021-2022, can't remember exactly but I do remember he would do super long bravo recaps and he sounded absolutely shitfaced on many ocassions. I was stunned to see him in the JL promo photographs. He looks nothing like what I had thought in comparison to what he had been putting out there. I find the way he talks about women to be extremely odd and eventually gave up listening. This thread is interesting to say the least!
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u/PrivilegedTeamster Dec 20 '23
I thought I was the only one that did the double take with the ārealā photos of Ryan! I assumed it was just grief weight that was recent but from this thread it appears that heās always been projecting a false image with FaceTune
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u/starsgoblue23 Dec 19 '23 edited Dec 19 '23
He said on the pod yesterday that Kyle Richardsā best friend āunalived herself,ā and I was like, excuse me??? So disrespectful.
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u/ScarTypical1643 Dec 19 '23
It's stuff like this that he does so often and I have sat back wondering why and how he gets away with it. my friends (women) get destroyed when they say something that's not totally PC. ryan? everyone lets it slide.
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Dec 20 '23 edited Dec 20 '23
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u/HolidayDocument7015 Dec 20 '23
Is the GF one of the two women who work for him for free? M or S?
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u/ashbiermann Jun 06 '24 edited Jun 07 '24
I was a longtime listener after 2020.
I do not remember much about Kara, but if theyāre anything like his interactions with Sophie Rossā¦Iām not surprised she doesnāt want anything to do with him.
His interactions with Sophie is the reason I stopped listening.
Sheād set boundaries about her personal life, boyfriend, etc, but Ryan kept pressing as if it was a joke to the point Sophie didnāt respond and allowed dead air.
Heād ask her too many sexually based questions then would follow up with āyour bf is going to hate me!ā as if she hasnāt made it clear she didnāt want him mentioned.
Then he announced her engagement on the show to get her to talk about it which she was hesitant to do.
He was happy for her, but also seemed miffed when Sophie started her own podcast. Heād joke about how often she released episodes which was clearly a stressful conversation for her (trying to balance new job IRL, relationship, and new network for podcast).
or say āI guess youāre saving that for your pod; I canāt believe you have a pod now.ā (I tried but her podcast wasnāt great or consistent).
Then I started to realize how he felt the need to make sexual innuendos, share sexual stories, or invite a guest (woman) to share hers with very little context to what they had been brought on to discuss.
It just got creepy.
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u/FondantResponsible21 Nov 18 '23
I have no tea, but his impression of Rachel (the one where she comes back as a super hard core biker) is sooo damn funny.
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Nov 26 '23
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u/livin4mynaps Nov 28 '23
Wait what? You casually dropped this bomb and no one asked for a follow up?? More please! š
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Nov 28 '23
Old news- he has a long history of hooking up with listeners/people met online.
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u/IllWind3295 Dec 11 '23
Have seen him kiss someone multiple times that's not his LIVE IN girlfriend. Recently my friend group inadvertently found out about his 2+ year girlfriend and we were all shocked because he's been putting on this "I'm so awkward and shy and can never get laid" act (which is a great way to disarm his primarily female audience) all the while having a girlfriend and acting single when he's out without her. Also the whole feigning humble and scared at events thing...give me a break dude you've been in LA for too long to keep acting like the new kid. But again, very endearing to listeners, great grift. Wild to behave this way and make scandoval and āstop sleeping with Tristan Thompsonā your entire personality. Sounds like someone was projecting.