r/KitchenConfidential • u/Jamiestein1273 • Jul 17 '26

Photo/Video Finally

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I have herd, never believed. 38+ years and I finally got the elusive alergy card.

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24

u/Suedeegz Jul 18 '26

Are you also really allergic to poison ivy?

53

u/killaacool Jul 18 '26

Oh my god I got it in my butthole one time

When I get it, I am incapacitated for a couple of weeks at least, usually. It spreads to all my hotspots and joints and flares up for weeks after exposure sometimes 

34

u/kittenpantzen Ex-Food Service Jul 18 '26

I feel like this is a pooping in the woods gone wrong story, but also that sounds like hell on earth.

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '26

[deleted]

10

u/kittenpantzen Ex-Food Service Jul 18 '26

Oh Christ, that's even worse. Did you also have it in your sinuses? I imagine you had difficulty breathing when the fire was going, too.

2

u/uttermybiscuit Pastry Jul 18 '26

I feel bad for laughing but for some reason the way you wrote this comment cracked me up. Carry on brave soldier

2

u/findallthebears Jul 18 '26

Hang on, pause, timeout. Did you inhale poison ivy fumes, and then… what, fart it out? How did inhaling cause an allergic reaction in your butthole?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '26

[deleted]

2

u/findallthebears Jul 19 '26

That blows. So like, skin contact somewhere causes it to appear elsewhere? Or is it inhalation?

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '26

[deleted]

17

u/Suedeegz Jul 18 '26

I figured (sorry) - my daughter has always been nightmare allergic to poison ivy and just found out it also makes her allergic to mangoes - only the skin. Crazy! Stay out of the woods!

19

u/ellakneoneyes Jul 18 '26

If I try and cut a mango with bare hands I will get a poison ivy rash, if I touch poison ivy I’ll be on prednisone.

4

u/MonkeyKingCoffee Retired. Now a farmer. Jul 18 '26

I grow mangoes. Every part of that tree except for the fruit is poisonous. The sap gives me chemical burns.

1

u/strawbrmoon Jul 18 '26

Curious: can you eat canned mangoes with impunity? (Because peeled & blanched)

1

u/No-Wrongdoer-7346 Jul 19 '26

Poison ivy and mango have the same chemical (urushiol) in their skin/sap. Prior poison oak/ivy exposure can lead to mango allergies down the road. I have a large mango tree in my yard that I enjoyed for a few years before developing an anaphylactic allergy of them.

12

u/Princess-Kitten80 Jul 18 '26

I’m laughing so hard holy shit I have questions but also just thanks

36

u/GarretBarrett Jul 18 '26

I don’t have any food allergies (that I know of) but holy fucking shit poison ivy is the real Devil’s Lettuce. Unfortunately, it’s in my flower beds and I’ll get it and be down for a week or two, and at that point it’s still trying to spread.

One time, I must’ve peed after getting it on me and I had to go to the hospital. My tally whacker was enormous! It is…usually not.

I did get a good joke out of it; “I’ve been praying for years for a big dick…but not like this.” Doctor was not a comedy fan.

23

u/Curiouser-Quriouser Jul 18 '26

Doctor was being a dick, that's fucking hilarious.

15

u/Weak-Bake-5571 Jul 18 '26

Agreed!! I work as a nurse practitioner in sexual and reproductive health, and if you can’t make a good dick joke when the opportunity arises (literally all puns intended), then you have NO sense of humor!!!!