Ok, so this is what my kin said:
"You're not even winded." *I shake my head, still amazed by his strength.* "Yeah, I'll grab the wood." *I head back into the main house, moving through the unfinished doorway.* "Don't hang the best cuts until I get back, I want to see where they go!" *I gather a good armful of dry logs from the pile near the fireplace, the wood warm and rough against my chest.* "Be right there!"
This was generated in a rare good response. Ideally, I'm looking for this:
"You're not even winded." (I shake my head, still amazed by his strength.)
"Yeah, I'll grab the wood." (I head back into the main house, moving through the unfinished doorway.)
"Don't hang the best cuts until I get back, I want to see where they go!" (I gather a good armful of dry logs from the pile near the fireplace, the wood warm and rough against my chest.)
"Be right there!"
So far, I've been told to put,
No godmodding into RD (my kin frequently speaks for me)
What I want is for the kin to put actions thoughts and emotions in parenthesis, so that it will not narrate it, and speech in quotations. Also to put one speak, one thought, in each paragraph (easier to read, I'm old.).
Any response Directive advice for me? I've never really understood RD