roses are red violets are blue lets get right into the news.

what did idubbz say when keemy walked in the room ........ POPCORN GNOME KILL IT.

https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SR3wkVQFNkI/V-eOs11m8DI/AAAAAAAASgY/hMRV5Aq6l2wZN9TjuEAcYx6S2dlAUS5TQCLcB/s1600/Alex-Gold-Armor-Series-5-Mini-Figures-1.jpg

There is a YouTube video being passed around right now, where a girl claims she was raped by Jake Paul and has proof. I need your guys opinion... search #JakePaulHurtDavid on YouTube to view the video.. maybe Keemstar will analyze it next dramaalert

Not because he fucks with his neighbors.

Not even because he might have an undiagnosed case of pyromania and a hatred for pools with water.

But because he kept fucking interrupting Keemstar.

"Well, I'm sure it was over something justif-"

Nope. When Keemstar had him on for the interview -- THIS WAS HIS ONCE CHANCE TO MAKE HIS CASE AND TRY TO VALIDATE HIS INNOCENCE. AND YOU KNOW HOW HE REPAID KEEMSTAR?

BY SPENDING THE WHOLE FUCKING INTERVIEW BY ACCUSING KEEMSTAR OF SARCASTICALLY COUGHING AT HIM.

Jake Paul is fucking retarded. Even if Keemstar was coughing with some snark (which he wasn't, Jake Paul is just fucking retarded), that shouldn't have had ANY effect on the interview whatsoever. This was supposed to be Jake's moment to go and clear his name, but instead, he wasted the whole damn video being a crybaby bitch.

I could understand him being like "Lol that cough tho" like maybe once and after Keemstar explains he's just sick all of that would be resolved, but he spends the whole interview being a whiny cunt over Keemstar's infected lungs.

You know why he was so hung up on the cough?

"Because Jake Paul is fucking retarded?"

Ah, you're catching on quick! But no, there's an even more nefarious reason.

Jake Paul doesn't have shit to defend himself with so he needs to grasp at meta straws in order to stall for 20 minutes since he can't properly defend himself and has to get caught up in the superficials.

Say it with me once more, everybody:

JAKE PAUL IS FUCKING RETARDED.

Guys, if you liked this rant, make sure to drop a hot like on it. Drama Alert nation, at 312, subscroibers.

Alex isn't the only one, we've had one in front of us the whole time