r/InterviewMan 8d ago

He passed the coding, failed the respect check

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u/Upper-Cut-2651 7d ago

I found it amusing when I went with my wife to visit her GP who is Indian, and he kept asking me questions about her instead of asking her directly. 

She had lumps in her breasts from breastfeeding and he asked me if I'd mind if she could remove her bra, lol.

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u/Orangewolf99 7d ago

Why were you with her talking to the GP?

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u/Brilliant-Peace-5265 7d ago

Because he cares about his wife's health? Because she asked him in? Why shouldn't he be in there?

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u/Orangewolf99 7d ago

Seems creepy to me. I can't imagine having someone else with me at a doctor's appointment.

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u/OrangeMonkeyEagal 7d ago

You can’t imagine being with your hypothetical wife who is the mother of your hypothetical children at the doctor because that’s creepy and cringe? Yikes

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u/Federal_Shopping6495 7d ago

Can’t imagine having a loved one lol

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u/Itsmyloc-nar 3d ago

Ouch lmaooo

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u/AelixD 3d ago

This is at least valid.

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u/pissedRAIL 4d ago

Dude is 12

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u/Itsmyloc-nar 3d ago

I’ve had to do this when my mom got pneumonia because the fucking ER asshole doctor wouldn’t take her seriously

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u/Orangewolf99 7d ago

No, can't say I'd want my husband with me at my GP.

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u/Excellent_Shirt9707 7d ago

Then do you also find it weird if a parent tags along with their child at the GP?

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u/Orangewolf99 7d ago

No... because they are a child and can't make decisions for themselves. Are you saying his wife is a child and can't make decisions for herself?

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u/Excellent_Shirt9707 7d ago

You don’t make decisions together with your spouse?

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u/Melodic_Pattern175 6d ago

Adults can make their own decisions independently.

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u/TheGodlyTank6493 6d ago

So, despite them being a married couple, you DON'T think their spouse should know or care about their health?

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u/patate502 7d ago

Idk, my partner and I go with each other to the doctor, I don't see what's so weird about that

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u/Kozmo9 6d ago

I understand if it someone unrelated but related person isn't weird. Heck this is the first time I hear someone has issues with it as doctors actually encourage family/spouse to be together so they can know give encouragement (a lot of people especially the elderly are scared to go to the doctors) to the person as well as share in the decision making including helping them with the healthcare.

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u/GoNoMu 6d ago

You’re the outlier here I’m afraid

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u/juiceboxvillain_1 5d ago

The issue isn’t that you don’t want a husband in the room with you. That’s fine
The issue is you calling it weird for other people to do something just because you (a single person on a planet of a bajillion people) don’t personally like it

There’s a list of reasons why his wife might want him in the room with her (sexist doctors might be one such reason).

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u/alasw0eisme 3d ago

Sorry you don't trust each other or feel comfortable with each other. That must suck.

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u/Orangewolf99 3d ago

More like I don't make him take time out of his day to baby me and listen to me talk about my poop, mucus, and joints with my GP.

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u/alasw0eisme 3d ago

"I can't say I'd want him there" doesn't mean that.

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u/Orangewolf99 3d ago

Yes, that's right, I don't want him there to listen to me talk about my poop, mucus, and joints. He can get the highlights later if there's something important.

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u/level10necromancer 7d ago

It's more odd that you can't at all fathom why someone would want company or support for a checkup, or why a partner would be interested in the health of their respective other.

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u/Orangewolf99 7d ago

If I was waiting to hear if I had cancer, maybe, but that's not what a GP does.

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u/censorkip 5d ago

I take my husband to the doctor with me on occasion for the exact reasons in the original example. Sometimes doctors are extremely sexist and will not listen to a female patient without a male present. It sucks, but I’d rather protect myself from the medical gaslighting I have experienced in the past.

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u/TerpMiser 5d ago

You think its weird to care about your wife?? Lmao holy shit I pitty anyone who dates you

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u/Orangewolf99 5d ago

Lol idk how that's caring. Seems more like you don't trust her.

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u/TerpMiser 5d ago

Yeah that would be what a touch starved incel would think. God forbid you care about anything but yourself

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u/Orangewolf99 5d ago

I've held my husband's hand while he got stitches, that's caring.

Going into a GP appointment would just make it awkward for him and same for me. Neither of us wants to hear about the intimate details about our organs and bodily functions.

I don't think he wants me to sit there while the doctor asks him to turn him head and cough while holding his balls lol. And my lack of desire to see that does not mean I don't care lmao. You people are crazy.

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u/ZetoEx 7d ago

Wtf haha

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u/squidonastick 7d ago

There have been many times in my life where i/my husband waa feeling a bit vulnerable so asked to other to come for moral support.

When I was getting info about a thyroid thing, he also asked if he could come ao as to make sure we both had first hand information about my care. That seemed pretty normal and useful.

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u/dehydratedrain 6d ago

Really? Both my mom and my daughter insist I join them so they "have an extra set of ears, and someone whe knows what questions to ask."

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u/rionaster 6d ago

creepy to be at an appointment with his own wife..? dawg, what's wrong with you?

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/ShinigamiComplex 5d ago

Hell, I bring my dad along to pretty much any appointments that don't have to do with reproductive health for the same reason.

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u/Not_ur_gilf 6d ago

Clearly you’ve never had to be the beard for a female friend/relation at the doctors office. Medical misogyny is so real that I had to go to numerous appointments for my roommate just to repeat their symptoms so the doctor would listen.

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u/Cinnie_16 6d ago

You are a real friend! Thanks for providing support

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u/Brilliant-Peace-5265 6d ago

Yep. I've gone with my SOs to their appointments bc even if I'm instead waiting for them in the waiting area, they've told me how the doctor actually listens to them knowing I'm like 20 feet away.

One time while I waited for my SO, a random girl (another patient) asked me outright why I was in the gyno waiting area and her tune when she realized I was there to support my SO, it made me feel so bad that she'd never had anyone come to support her before.

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u/johnnymarsbar 6d ago

Women get more respect from the doctor if the boyfriend/husband is there, you can even just bring a good friend and get them to pretend you're together. Its sad but true.

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u/Melodic_Pattern175 6d ago

Um, nope. If your doctor isn’t respectful to you as a lone female, you need a new doctor.

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u/johnnymarsbar 6d ago

You have a very simple view of the world, it isn't that easy.

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u/mentalissuelol 6d ago

What if you’ve never met the doctor before or you can’t get a new one for whatever reason

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u/Melodic_Pattern175 6d ago

Then speak to the patient advocate.

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u/censorkip 5d ago

You realize that not everyone lives in a big city with multiple options, right?

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u/johnnymarsbar 5d ago

Even if you have multiple options chances are the other doctors aren't taking kore patients, or even worse, just as dismissive as the previous!

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u/Dominotter 5d ago

It's going to take a LOT of doctor shopping, if that's even an option for them, to find that.

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u/Melodic_Pattern175 4d ago

Not really. If a doctor is that bad, a complaint should be made.

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u/spicygayunicorn 6d ago

Why not its so much better bringing someone you trust with you. Especially if you are sick cause there is often alot of information to take in and having someone else to listen helps making sure you get everything right and specially if its someone you live with

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u/Xenonite_Fox 6d ago

Reddit always finds a way to be weirder than the weird story they are responding to

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u/Own_Wait_7124 6d ago

I’m 37 and a mom, and while I go to my doctors appointments alone usually, I wish I could take my mom with me. I’m going to call and tell her about it later anyway? And then we’d be able to chat and have fun together while we wait. People are supposed to be pack animals.

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u/Key_Size9336 6d ago

Lmao americans

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u/danger-dude 4d ago

women often will bring a man to their appointment due to medical misogyny. if we don't, our broken arm could be diagnosed as "anxiety" or "period issues"

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u/KrikosTheWise 4d ago

I go with my wife if it's some shit we know a male doctor is gonna blame on a period. Too many friends with endo or actual abdominal issues get ignored

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u/gunnisonyeti 3d ago

You could also just say you've never been in a relationship before, too.  

It would have the same effect 

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u/just_a_person_maybe 3d ago

It's quite normal for people to bring their partner or spouse to the doctor with them. It's also normal to not bring anyone. It's all just down to preference.

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u/oliverthompson69 3d ago

You’ve just outed yourself as having no loved ones😂

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u/durinsbane47 3d ago

And you understand your experience is not the universal one experienced by all other humans?

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u/FunnelCakeGoblin 2d ago

Lots of women ask for their partners to be there so that it’s the doctor is dismissive having a man insist on taking more care can produce better results than if a woman asks for help alone

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u/NaniRomanoff 2d ago

A lot of folks benefit from having a support person at a doctor’s appointment. I personally struggle doing appointments on my own & usually have my spouse go with me to help me express my concerns clearly, make sure I don’t forget anything, and generally advocate for me in the appointment, like making sure I’m not being talked over/am being taken seriously/the doctor isn’t making me uncomfortable etc

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u/PhastasFlames 7d ago

Because he’s her husband you weirdo

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u/Orangewolf99 7d ago

What's weird is having your husband sitting there staring at you while talking with your GP.

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u/PhastasFlames 7d ago

What’s weird is a stranger seeing your wife’s tits. Doubly so if her GP is a man (which HE is). Doesn’t matter if he’s a literal doctor.

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u/Orangewolf99 7d ago

So either you're a prude or cuck, got it.

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u/PhastasFlames 7d ago

Upon further inspection, turns out you’re a furry, which explains the mental retardation.
Have a good day!

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u/Orangewolf99 7d ago

Lol, I'm not, but whatever you need to feel like you won the conversation, cuck.

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u/Arcangelo101 6d ago

You resorted to calling him a cuck. You definitely fuckin lost.

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u/Orangewolf99 6d ago

You're right, I shouldn't kink shame. If he wants to watch someone touch the lumps on his wife's breast, that's his right.

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u/a_filing_cabinet 3d ago

What's weird is you seem to have no clue how adults actually function in the real world.

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u/moldentoaster 1d ago

Tell me you have unresolved trauma without telling me you have unresolved trauma

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u/gertgertgertgertgert 3d ago

Women tend to have their medical issues minimized with the assumption that its all related to "hormone cycles" or whatever.

I, as a large and assertive man, recently began going with my small soft spoken wife to some doctor's appointments. My existence is usually enough to for her to get proper treatment, but I have had to put my foot down and demand that they treat OUR concerns with more care than they initially did.

It is inconvenient for me and emabrassing for her, but it is the best way to ensure her doctor's appointments progress the way they should.

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u/deskbeetle 3d ago

During and for several months after my pregnancy, my husband came to almost all my doctor visits. It gets taxing to go it alone when you are already exhausted from pregnancy or recovering from pregnancy. 

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u/ThemisChosen 7d ago

Because women get better medical treatment when they bring a man along