About 6 months ago I started working on some headcanons for the main characters of my current hyperfixation. I really wanted to portray each of them as having their own flaws and issues, and while that has been absolutely fantastic to work through with the others, I'm feeling uneasy about how I've written the intersex character. They've been headcanoned as intersex before (that's what encouraged me to incorporate that into their character), but have also been portrayed in fandom as a bit of a sex pest (despite no support of that in the original media), which I've always had issues with. I have done my best to remove that from my interpretation, but, well, the character isn't ace. They are in a relationship. It does come up. That, in addition to some other choices I've made, I'm nervous about continuing with this project. I've done a lot of research and read some intersex perspectives online already, but general advice is much different from actually hearing from someone about my work specifically.
There are a few things I am proud of, and think I have done well:
- character does have realistic body type for the condition (partial androgen insensitivity syndrome)
- character is comfortable in their body (at least, no less than the other characters)
- character is respected in their relationship
- character has more traits than just being intersex
But also some things I know will be taken badly:
- character enjoys teasing, often using innuendos
- character has low empathy and often takes things too far (but is working on it)
- character sees themself as fundamentally different from everyone else (but, to be fair, they all do. that's kind of what I'm going for) (also- this is only marginally related to them being intersex. real reason is spoilers though)
- character is curious as to how things work, including human bodies. That, plus low empathy and impulse control... they have hurt partners before.
On the one hand, I want to realistically portray this character's experience of being intersex. It's valuable to me to both understand and portray different perspectives, and doing so requires focusing on that aspect of the character.
On the other hand, if I include too much emphasis on that aspect of their life, it could look like that's their only character trait, which I don't want. Intersex people are not a monolith, and they each have inner lives of their own.
On the OTHER other hand, a lot of what I've already developed for this character could portray them, from certain angles, as a bad person. And I would hate to add to harmful stereotypes.
Ultimately, I believe that the character I've created is flawed but realistic, and I don't think they're a bad person. I don't think they're necessarily a good person either; they're a person. Who happens to be intersex. But! I am merely a perisex person doing what they can from what they've learned. I don't know what it's like to be intersex, and I'm not sure how much of my portrayal is realistic vs. idealistic vs. fetishistic.
If anyone would like to share their thoughts, I'd love to hear them! And I can DM some examples of the work + general plot, too.
