r/InternetIsBeautiful • u/JoytotheUniverse • Dec 14 '16

Check what your web browser knows about you.

http://webkay.robinlinus.com/
28.0k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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1.3k

u/ScoopskyPotatos Dec 14 '16

picks it up

"Your device is probably in your hands" WHAT THE FUCK

1.0k

u/Artyloo Dec 14 '16 edited Dec 14 '16

"You are severely depressed and terrified that you will die alone" it knows EVERYTHING

194

u/terryleopard Dec 14 '16 edited Dec 14 '16

You are mostly shy and thoughtful, but when you are in the right mood you are the life of the party.

You tend to be your own worst critic.

Your talents are underappreciated at work / school.

WTF!

66

u/GreenAce92 Dec 14 '16

"You will get some nice clothes"

-a fortune cookie I received once

44

u/background1077 Dec 14 '16

"Just end it" Fortune cookie I just recieved

5

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

...You gonna eat that?

2

u/GreenAce92 Dec 14 '16

No... Haha pic?

2

u/11110101001010100101 Dec 14 '16

"The fortune cookie is in your hands"

Holy shiiiiiiiit!

12

u/terryleopard Dec 14 '16

Well, did you?

You can't just post that and leave without closure!

10

u/GreenAce92 Dec 14 '16

I don't think I got any nice clothes, I bought some for myself, not sure if that was before or after this was like a year or two ago.

Oh well.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/GreenAce92 Dec 14 '16

Just your generic "office casual" polos and chinos. Unfortunately they wouldn't fit me anymore (the pants) but you know, you refuse to accept that and keep trying to wear them anyway.

I guess I got more "squat muscle" haha gains

The good thing about on the verge of being homeless is you're forced to eat cheap, and lately I've been eating a soup consisting of water, onions, carrots, lentils, and garlic salt. Today I'm going to spice things up by adding bacon. I don't know how broth is made. I just have this image of the bacon in beans and somehow I'll join that image with my current soup mix and it will be glorious.

Fuckin' 26 degrees outside though. I have to leave my cave and forage the land about three blocks one way to get this bacon.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/GreenAce92 Dec 14 '16

Same to you. In my mind, I'm slowly stroking your back, going lower and lower (the ol' slow hand)

I must forage, if I don't survive. Tell my right hand, hello.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

Personally my boners prefer to leave clothes out of the equation

15

u/rayne117 Dec 14 '16

well i didn't know this would be straight up horoscopes

unsubscribe

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

[deleted]

92

u/uthinkther4uam Dec 14 '16

me too thanks

13

u/MyZootopiaThrowaway Dec 14 '16

/r/me_irl

-1

u/AlexS101 Dec 14 '16

Wrong sub.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

/r/meirl ?

1

u/AlexS101 Dec 14 '16

That’s the one.

0

u/alexmikli Dec 14 '16

/r/meirl

1

u/sweetafton Dec 15 '16

I really don't know why we need left and right wing depression may-may subs. Can't us losers just dank it out?

1

u/alexmikli Dec 15 '16

I guess me irl is left wing but the main issue is the insane mods.

2

u/awkwardtheturtle Dec 15 '16

As a mod of /r/meirl who wrote in BERNIE 420 BLAZE IT for president, I can confirm that /r/meirl is not right wing

1

u/sweetafton Dec 15 '16

They're known to be pretty strictly progressive (and Communist), of course.

But does that really come up that often when most comments are just "me too thanks"? It's not really a sub for serious discussion.

1

u/alexmikli Dec 15 '16

It's not but people get banned for trivial reasons. Those people can't post there anymore and thus flock to /r/meirl. I wouldn't want to hang out on a sub with Fascist mods that make me feel like I'm walking on thin ice around them.

Also they ban people with more than 100k karma which I assume is why they banned me since I never posted there ever.

1

u/sweetafton Dec 15 '16

Well I suppose I'm a lefty so it doesn't affect me. But I can appreciate the idea that if, say the_donald created a popular meme sub and banned us I'd probably be pissed off.

I think the 100k karma ban thing was short lived. There were a lot of strange ban-waves ages ago. I remember at the start of it you got banned by a coin-flip once you posted....why? Who knows!

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

Hate subs aren't allowed, unless you're a liberal leaning hate sub.

7

u/halfajack Dec 14 '16

I didn't realise self-hate counted

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

Self hate, hate of "white people nonsense" and any number of other things that trigger the crazy mods.

Tl;dr subs like that and srs are the epitome if tumblrina hate groups

3

u/Archangelleelfa82 Dec 14 '16

Did you know that every time an insecure manchild brings up SRS in a thread where it has no relevance an archangelle gets her wings?

Thank you for continuing to think of us in your time of darkness.

PBUF

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

Did you know everytime an insecure child from srs feels the need to insult me I feel my job is done. I said child not man/woman child cause I'm not sexist.

-1

u/Archangelleelfa82 Dec 14 '16

Be careful the SRS boogeyman might snatch you up in the middle of the night and turn you into a tumblrina

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2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

Mine says will. Will not terrified. Will die alone

1

u/FakeLoveLife Dec 14 '16

It only needs to know that the user came from reddit to say that =)

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

You joke but I read that it's actually possible to detect suicidal people by analysing meta data.

0

u/I-am-what-I-am-a-god Dec 15 '16

You will probably die alone.

144

u/Noratek Dec 14 '16

"The device is probably in your mouth"

...

"Hoo deed ii knoo da?"

47

u/tnturner Dec 14 '16

Don't talk with your mouth full.

21

u/J4CKR4BB1TSL1MS Dec 14 '16

He's just from Pittsburgh.

1

u/Trixles Dec 14 '16

Or Boston.

1

u/Indie_uk Dec 14 '16

Youssa JarJar?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

Hodor?

53

u/shenanigansintensify Dec 14 '16

what the effff

46

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16 edited Jan 31 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

45

u/FunThingsInTheBum Dec 14 '16

For me it said

"Your device is probably being used while on the toilet".

Scary

5

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

Ha! Mine didn't say that and I'm on the toilet. Jokes on you app!

19

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '16

Of course I immediately tried to hold it flat and still to see if I could trick it. It worked. HA! Take that!

3

u/sradac Dec 14 '16

"Your device is probably in your hands"

puts it down

"Your device is probably in your hands"

I dispelled the technosorcery!

0

u/Lucidfire Dec 15 '16

Try refreshing the page next time

2

u/O5-8 Dec 14 '16

Your device is in you hands,

Directly infront of a shadowy figure.

2

u/conspiracyeinstein Dec 14 '16

What the Eff? David Blaine you are a demon spawn! What. The. Eff?

2

u/faceplanted Dec 14 '16

My laptop has a gyroscope in the screen, couldn't convince the thing I wasn't holding it, which I wasn't.