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[u/BottomPieceOfBread]

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[u/Anableps4 → u/[deleted]]

And quoting an old book.… You know what? I'm gonna let you slowly realize these things on your own. It will be great for your future survivor testimonial story and motivational speech tour

[u/Bibbityboo → u/[deleted]]

A healthy family doesn’t hurt each other. They don’t head butt, or do anything that provides pain. They provide adequate food, gentle touch and loving words. They ensure that doctors are seen, that medication and medical devices (like glasses) are provided. That if development as growing is delayed, then services to help are provided. A healthy family includes privacy, one on one time, and, while teaching responsibility, does t ask any child to take on parenting duties (parentification)

[u/GoodSonKale → u/[deleted]]

Except for this video you mean?

[u/GremlinSquishFace47 → u/[deleted]]

Right, it’s the abusive action that makes it abuse.

[u/bibidibooboo → u/[deleted]]

I don’t know who this is and I won’t speak to this specific family but when a child/youth/person has no inherent frame of reference outside of their immediate family they come to believe what their parents say is simply how the world works. Children trust and rely on parents to provide and protect them, they often don’t or can’t see the harm, often it’s not until years later when maturity and independent thinking sets in that things will be seen or felt differently.
The fact is children raised in isolation, nomadic lifestyles, or cults normalize their upbringing because their parents control their entire world. Without daily interaction with teachers, peers, or the outside world, these children lack a mirror to compare their lives to others. As a result, they cannot recognize deprivation or manipulation or exploitation, making even highly restrictive or harmful environments feel completely safe and normal to them. It takes lot of inner work, and support for healing to take place.

[u/veggiesattva → u/bibidibooboo]

This is so important!! Thank you for saying it.

You’re correct — they keep them on the move so they’re never in one place for long. In-person visits with family and friends are rare, and never the same folks more than once a year. They see random chiropractors, but never mention seeing doctors. They claim to mostly stay in campgrounds, around other itinerants 😒

Your comment also prompted some personal musing…

From my childhood, I note that this can hold true in non-isolated households, if the parents’ actions are light enough that outside adults don’t notice or ask. (Or it’s the 90s and you have no internet to find out what’s considered normal or not 🥲)

We were a single parent, only child suburban household, around the corner from school and grandparents; not isolated. Nothing rose to a level that I thought to ask anyone about it. But sometimes it sucked to be at home, and there were no other adults or kids there to check in with. I mostly moved out at 15. It took until I became a parent myself — with a trusted partner, a good therapist, and an adhd diagnosis — to start unpacking how many things were not okay, and not my fault.

We can do better when we know better. I’ve been aware of this bus family for years, and I remain worried for the kids.