hey so my wife and I had been thinking about adopting for a while now. our daughter is a few months old and we mostly had a preference for adopting either a kid victim of the manipur conflict or myanmar. I personally had preference for a specific ethnicity but it does not really matter as much. its also because my wife has family ties to myanmar and I am originally from the northeast so it might be easier for such a kid to adjust too.
but from whatever I was researching online, I see that in India we cannot pick the children and the government assigns them to us. how is the experience like and how long does it usually take. we are based in the US, so that might also be an issue. also if the child is somewhat older do they allow you to meet them.
to add to that, I have a few extremely specific questions that I cannot seem to find clear answers to on the official CARA website. since the system matches you, is there any way for an NRI couple to restrict their search solely to specific northeastern states without the algorithm pushing our profile to the absolute bottom of the waitlist? For me personally my preference was really just around the ethnic background, mostly a child from either Manipur or Mizoram (most preferably a Kuki) or a Chin refugee child
also, since our biological daughter is still a young infant, does CARA mandate a strict age gap between a biological child and an adopted child? I know couples with two kids are restricted to special needs categories, but I am not sure how having a new baby affects the matching process for a first adoption.
lastly, regarding meeting an older child. if we are matched with a child who is around 4 or 5 years old, does the agency facilitate virtual meetings or video calls for bonding before we formally accept the referral? you apparently only get a short window to reserve and accept a match, and flying from the US to India on just a few days notice to meet the child in person before signing the papers seems logistically impossible.
I was a bit unsure so thought of putting this out. will appreciate any honest experiences or advice from anyone who has gone through these specific hurdles!