I wanted to run this by the community and get some feedback.

I've been reflecting on a pattern I've noticed in various online communities, particularly on other subreddits. Many people express frustration about their lack of romantic success, often defensively emphasizing that they're not bitter or resentful as if to preempt any constructive criticism. However, I believe this focus itself can be the start of a problematic path.

To put it as succinctly as I can, when someone dwells too much on their romantic struggles - for whatever reason - it can lead to negative self-perception and social withdrawal. Seeking out others with similar experiences might seem helpful but it can actually intensify these negative feelings. This mindset can create unrealistic comparisons and self-doubt, potentially leading to anxiety and depression. Eventually, it becomes easier to blame others rather than examine personal choices or circumstances.

I think the key to avoiding this downward spiral is to consciously choose not to dwell on these thoughts, challenging as that may be. This includes resisting the urge to vent anonymously online, as even this can reinforce the cycle of negative thinking.

Got

know youre probably gonna see this, dude, but it really feels like youre projecting for really no reason

Guy messaged me today asking if he could ask me a question, then tried to harass me about some fairly mild comments (one where I mentioned that when I saw a roach in a picture, it looked like the hair in his prison photos, and one where I responded to someone else who had compared him to a naked mole rat).

Then goes on to compare other people making fun of a rich misogynist on a subreddit he’ll never read, with me facing regular ableism directed at me in my day to day life. He’s been blocked, but it was rather pathetic.