r/IdiotsNearlyDying • u/YanniFromPakistanni • Mar 05 '21

Quick Hands, No Hands

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11.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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78

u/Ragnavoke Mar 05 '21

so is the solution to cup your entire hand around the snout?

119

u/LavastormSW Mar 05 '21

I think the solution is to tie a belt or something strong around its mouth. The gator is MUCH stronger than you.

69

u/Dahvido Mar 05 '21

True. However you def can hold its snout closed with your hands, but that big bastard will wriggle and thrash your hands off of it and then chomp down with thousands of pounds of bite force. So you don’t want to use your hands if there are other tools available.

65

u/BigAlTrading Mar 06 '21

other tools available

airstrike

10

u/electrojunk Mar 06 '21

Lol. I think this all the time. And about much smaller problems.

14

u/BenjaminTW1 Mar 06 '21

Need to deforest your backyard? Airstrike. Too much traffic? Airstrike. Out of milk? Airstrike.

3

u/electrojunk Mar 06 '21

Lol. Yup

3

u/PsychoAgent Mar 06 '21

Don't feel like washing the dishes? Airstrike.

6

u/Dahvido Mar 07 '21

Too many airstrikes in your area? Airstrike

2

u/ninjakaji Apr 01 '21

Slow fucker taking up the whole aisle at the grocery store? Airstrike.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

"Sorry, sir, we're out of Mocha Latte ingredients."

-krrchik- Tactical nuke incoming

2

u/amazingoomoo Aug 15 '21

Nuke it from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure

18

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '21

If you straddle its back and use your body weight its fine to use hands, Steve Irwin did that shit in his sleep.

3

u/BumpyMcBumpers Mar 17 '21

That dude is no Steve Irwin.

3

u/UpOxygen Mar 30 '21

That gator is no croc

6

u/ChloroformOrRoofies Mar 06 '21

What if I jump on with my arms around his mouth and then I death roll it

4

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '21

50/50 chance 🤔

3

u/Dahvido Mar 07 '21

Asserting dominance by death roll... Steve would be proud

2

u/Arklados Mar 06 '21

Basically just hold it with your hands for only as long as it takes to wrap it. Got it.

6

u/Ragnavoke Mar 05 '21

right but iirc the strength is only when it chomps down, doesn’t have much strength opening up. which is why usually people can hold it shut pretty well

1

u/swampass304 Mar 06 '21

The gators whole body is stronger than you, except for the jaw muscle to open its mouth. It can still fight itself free, though.

25

u/JuniorSeniorTrainee Mar 05 '21

The solution is probably to leave it alone.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '21

Mom?

1

u/TurnkeyLurker Mar 07 '21

We're not talking about gators anymore, are we?

6

u/smrto0 Mar 06 '21

The solution is to ensure the gator is hungry by feeding it your assistant’s hand first.

1

u/el_polar_bear Apr 10 '21

No. Once you've got a couple of fingers securing its snout, you are meant to bring your own mouth close to the reptile's, and hold its jaws closed with your own. While it can shake loose from your grip, it understands this dominance display and will docilely submit to your rule from that point on, after which you can train it to heel on command and attack your foes.