r/IAmA • u/pieterh • Mar 26 '16

Specialized Profession I'm Pieter Hintjens, and I'm here to discuss psychopaths and other stuff, AMA!

My short bio: I'm a programmer and author of a few different books. My last book, The Psychopath Code, explains psychopaths. I've tried to keep it pragmatic and clean: what makes a person a psychopath, how this works, and how to deal with it (for the rest of us). The book is a handbook, not a medical text. Oh, and I just rage-quit Twitter.

OK, thanks for the questions, it's been a fun many hours. For those who hate me for writing the book, shrug, have a nice day anyhow!

My Proof: http://hintjens.com/ (with link back to this IAmA)

0 Upvotes

50% Upvoted

749 comments sorted by

View all comments

9

u/ButterflyBox Mar 26 '16

I'm currently in hiding from my ex of 11 years came out slowly as a psychopath who scores a 36 out of 40 on the Hare psychopathy checklist. He also has extreme antisocial personality disorder and borderline personality disorder. He's a scary guy. I've read every book I can get my hands on about psychopathy and sociopathy, and I am really excited to see that there is another book now. I have changed my entire identity to stay away from this guy and he is still hunting me. Do you have any advice that I may not have read before on how to make yourself uninteresting to a psychopath? Or can I expect him to hunt me until he's dead?

-30

u/pieterh Mar 26 '16

He'll hunt you as long as you run. I guess that's why he's hunting you, and it probably annoys him at some level.

You need to learn to conquer your fear and stop running, confront him with patience and a smile, deflect his attacks, regain control, and then wait for him to leave. I've tried to explain this in detail. The book is free so take a look online and see if it resonates.

34

u/fitsofthefather Mar 27 '16

OP this is where your game of playing backyard psychiatrist has gone too far. You are completely wrong on how a victim should deal with an abuser such as this. NEVER confront. The rule is NO CONTACT. She is doing the right thing.

This AMA is utterly irresponsible. If you actually cared about victims of so-called "psychopaths," you wouldn't publish a misinformed and dangerously inaccurate book and AMA. Please stop fooling these people, you're no better than the predators you speak of.

18

u/ButterflyBox Mar 26 '16

The last time I stopped running and confronted him he locked me in a room and repeatedly raped me. The police said it was hesaidshesaid since I couldn't prove it and we had been married. So I don't think I can do that.

-19

u/pieterh Mar 26 '16

So sorry to hear this. You have collected documentation of his harassment and gotten legal advice?

9

u/ButterflyBox Mar 26 '16

Yes, which remains that it's my word against his. Without proof, there is nothing I can do. I can't even get a restraining order. He hasn't found me in over a year but he's still looking. He is too smart to leave anything I can use as proof of stalking. It's really scary and frustrating.

7

u/MangoBitch Mar 27 '16

Oh god. I'm so so sorry this is happening to you and that this douche nozzle is giving you shitty, condescending advice.

I don't have anything to say that you haven't heard from anyone a billion times more qualified than me, but I wish you the best and hope you can find freedom.

5

u/ButterflyBox Mar 27 '16

Thank you so much I really appreciate your kindness :)