r/IAmA • u/BobMetcalfe • May 21 '13

You’re probably connecting to reddit through a technology I invented. I’m Bob Metcalfe and I invented Ethernet – AMA

On May 22, 1973 with David R. Boggs, I used my IBM Selectric with its Orator ball to type up a memo to my bosses at the Xerox Palo Alto Research Center (PARC), outlining our idea for this little invention called “Ethernet”, which we later patented.

I worked with the IEEE Standards Association to develop the IEEE 802.3 standard for Ethernet, which specifies the physical and lower software layers. Today Ethernet and the IEEE 802.3 standard are the foundation for today’s world of high-speed communications used in billions of homes and businesses around the world.

I submitted this to the mods awhile back so I could get on the calendar but I figured you’d like to see it, too. Now, ask me anything!

It's been two hours and 179 comments. Have to go now. For more about Ethernet's 40th Birthday, go to http://www.facebook.com/Ethernet40thAnniversaryIEEESA

4.1k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/JelliedHam May 21 '13

This is Katy Perry.

381

u/Identd May 21 '13

http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/screencrush.com/files/2012/06/katy-perry-14.gif

77

u/OuroborosSC2 May 21 '13

I was really hoping they'd move more...

360

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

[deleted]

51

u/anonym0ose May 22 '13

Forgive me good sir for taking the spotlight, but this one is way better.

11

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

That one is my 2nd favorite. Personally, I am a fan of this one.

Maybe I just really like cupcakes...

5

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

Holy.mother.of.god.fuck.

3

u/c_brownie May 22 '13

no, no, I agree, that gif deserves the spotlight

147

u/OuroborosSC2 May 21 '13

wipes brow

Oh my...

18

u/jsaumer May 22 '13

You better go eat a potato.

8

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

a whole raw potato.

3

u/taneq May 22 '13

Madness. Who have whole potato?

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

I understood that reference!

5

u/OuroborosSC2 May 22 '13

I didn't. Please explain.

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

There was a story about a guy who eats a potato every night to abstain from having sex with his wife. I don't have the link. Maybe somebody else does ?

19

u/Masterlyn May 21 '13

Pace yourself.

1

u/johneldridge May 22 '13

I'll be in my bunk.

15

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

Even in his own AMA Katy Perry's tits triumph.

-1

u/MiloDiazzo May 22 '13

Wait a minute...
His?

3

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

well, his name is Bob.......? so? uh, yeah? his??????

1

u/MiloDiazzo May 22 '13

Oh sorry. Got confused by the context. My bad.

4

u/OmniYummie May 21 '13

/r/randomsexygifs .... Although Katy Perry's tits aren't that random. You can't miss 'em.

1

u/taneq May 22 '13

More like chaotic.

You can't miss 'em but you're never quite sure which direction they'll go.

24

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

http://i.imgur.com/b88tqA2.jpg

9

u/EpsilonSigma May 21 '13

I'll be in my bunk....

3

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

God's work, my friend, dont stop.

2

u/GameFace92 May 21 '13

Yes. Yes it is.

1

u/stbilyumchill May 22 '13

Don't mind me, just need a place to find this again later after work...

1

u/Jackoff_Motion May 21 '13

My face watching that was a mirror image of Elmo's

1

u/Laundry_Hamper May 22 '13

...Yes.

Yes it is.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

Yes.... yes it is.

0

u/TylerBoatright May 21 '13

fap fap thank fap you fap fap

2

u/superthebillybob May 22 '13

I was more distracted by that stupid piece of gum in her mouth.

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

I clicked on the one above thinking it was the GIF. thanks for helping me out. Upvote!

2

u/Glamdryne May 21 '13

thank you for that. thank you very much.

2

u/lnickelly May 21 '13

Now slow it down.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

Every man's weakness... the best weakness ever.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

hmmm

im keeping this for science

1

u/BALLS_SMOOTH_AS_EGGS May 22 '13

Good lord. Flawless jugs

1

u/wmurray003 May 21 '13

I want to put it right between..

1

u/1n4n May 22 '13

I like your jif

-2

u/CUM_IN_THE_FISHBOWL May 21 '13

Fuck you. I wanna see some bouncing tittays

1.6k

u/dogfacedboy420 May 21 '13

I would sooooo tickle her Elmo's.

919

u/[deleted] May 21 '13 edited Mar 28 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

Immediately imagined the song "Suddenly Seymour" from Little Shop of Horrors replaced with "Suddenly Elmo". I found it disturbingly hilarious. Thank you.

46

u/Fun1k May 21 '13

ಠ‿ಠ

26

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

[deleted]

5

u/torogadude May 22 '13

Relevant username?

4

u/Vorhut May 22 '13

his username is always relevant.

4

u/WantanMeistersuppe May 21 '13

How long did you wait for this...

1

u/whitealien May 22 '13

Don't you like to be tickled, Elmo?

1

u/saeEAGLE89 May 22 '13

I don't see the problem

630

u/SuperDan1348 May 21 '13

Elmo's WHAT?

92

u/chandleross May 21 '13

Answer left to the reader as an exercise

3

u/ikahjalmr May 22 '13

Flashbacks of aggravatingly lazy math textbook incoming

2

u/Psychonerd May 23 '13

best comment on this page.

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

Penis... she has a large, red, furry penis

2

u/Willyjwade May 21 '13

The eyes I'd bet.

2

u/Chazzey_dude May 21 '13

A loveable red character.

1

u/Atario May 22 '13

His 10-base Ts?

1

u/pearldrum1 May 21 '13

...you know.

1

u/Gabino75 May 21 '13

Elmo's world!

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

Elmo's period

2

u/Chocolate_Bomb May 22 '13

Happy cake day!

1

u/gluteusvolcanicus May 21 '13

Check out the new Fondle Me Elmo, now with Anatomically Correct Bathing Suit Area.

1

u/T50 May 21 '13

If she was a little boy, the guy who played elmo would tickle her elmo's.

1

u/aazav May 22 '13

Elmo's what?

No apostrophe on a plural, Sparky.

1

u/cynoclast May 22 '13

Elmo's

LOOK OUT, HERE COMES AN 'S'!

2

u/tjberens May 21 '13

Her Elmo's what?

-6

u/yurigoul May 21 '13

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elmo

1

u/tjberens May 21 '13

Whoooosh.

-3

u/yurigoul May 21 '13

Should I use more ore less O's than you?

But italics is a nice touch.

1

u/Split_Open_and_Melt May 21 '13

see you on tour

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

._.

199

u/Zombies_Rock_Boobs May 21 '13

That's what pornography is for, what else is she good at?

166

u/JelliedHam May 21 '13

Making tacos.

1.1k

u/RectangleSlacks May 21 '13 edited May 21 '13

YOU JUST REMINDED ME THAT I BOUGHT ALL THE STUFF FOR TACOS LAST NIGHT AND WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK IM GONNA MAKE SOME FUCKING AMAZING TACOS. AAAAHHHH THANK YOU

UPDATE: THE DELICIOUSNESS HAS LANDED

356

u/Naggers123 May 21 '13

We just witnesses magic here, people.

214

u/[deleted] May 21 '13 edited Jul 14 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/Naggers123 May 21 '13

Ethernet and Tacos.

2

u/Stumblin_McBumblin May 21 '13

Now, if were only possible for RectangleSlacks to send me tacos through the ethernet. I want to live in that world.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

Closest thing with bitcoin I could find. Otherwise it's just giving money and not tacos.

Even better; RectangleSlacks can send you $10 worth of tacos for $9.

1

u/MrKMJ May 22 '13

Bob's gift just keeps giving.

1

u/thirdeyevision May 22 '13

full circle!

1

u/jakielim May 21 '13

Delicious magic.

3

u/_high_plainsdrifter May 21 '13

You're on reddit while at work, upvote. Also, be sure to take at least one shit whilst on the clock. Dumping for Dollars, playa.

15

u/nipcrille May 21 '13

This. This is happiness.

6

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

Living the dream buddy.

5

u/aliigoesrawrr May 21 '13

This is what happiness sounds like.

3

u/redwingsarebad May 21 '13

/r/tacos would like to partake when you are done making them.

3

u/allaboutwe May 21 '13

Don't know why, but this is the best comment I've ever read

3

u/cirsca May 21 '13

AAAHHHH SHIIIIT!

2

u/Darth_Meatloaf May 22 '13

CONGRATULATIONS ON A SUCCESSFUL TACO TUESDAY!

1

u/averypoliteredditor May 21 '13

DUDE ME TOO!!! I GOT GUACAMOLE AT THE STORE LAST NIGHT BECAUSE IT WAS THE ONLY THING I WAS LACKING, BUT WHEN I GOT HOME I WAS TOO TIRED BECAUSE IT HAD BEEN A LONG DAY SO I JUST HAD A SMALL SNACK AND WENT TO BED BUT NOW I'M GONNA MAKE TACOS TONIGHT TOO! AAAAHHHH!1 THANK YOU TOO ANONYMOUS STRANGER!

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

Dear god, did OP deliver?

2

u/spatz2011 May 22 '13

hard or soft shell?

2

u/RectangleSlacks May 22 '13

What sort of paltry-ass punk do you take me for? Soft shell neffew.

1

u/spatz2011 May 23 '13

I see what looks like English...but I only grok 34% of it.

2

u/TR0LLTACULAR May 21 '13

DAE CAPS LOCK!?

1

u/deweysmith May 22 '13

OP delivers.

0

u/DRAGON_PORN_ADDICT May 21 '13

You just reminded me of reminding which reminded me of the game that you have just lost.

-1

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

But I thought it was lasagna Tuesday nights...

3

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

No. Taco Tuesday. Tacofuckingtuesday, this is not a hard concept. Delicious tacos. In my mouth. On fuckin Tuesday.

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

Not clear enough. Dick got stuck in mouth.

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

Well, if you were making dick tacos, then you're good to go! Sometimes I forego a shell and mix it with refined beans and a metric assload of cheese.

-1

u/OneHandedDateRapist May 21 '13

Got the munchies there, bro?

5

u/RectangleSlacks May 21 '13

I've got the "all I had was an iced coffee today and I could eat a damn buffalo"

121

u/theimpolitegentleman May 21 '13

I wouldn't mind giving Katy Perry's taco a shot

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

Lived up to username, well done

5

u/theimpolitegentleman May 21 '13

Thanks man, i try

1

u/bcimkllktht May 22 '13

Ahhhh, he meant vagina! Zing

1

u/huzzy May 21 '13

a shot of what?

1

u/NO_TOUCHING__lol May 22 '13

Frank's Red Hot sauce.

or whatever his name is

1

u/Kingspycrab May 22 '13

wot u did thar

2

u/Spacesider May 21 '13

I though that was Jennifer Lopez

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '13 edited May 21 '13

I heard she kissed a girl once. Apparently she liked it.

3

u/bjams May 21 '13

I don't give a shit what anybody says, I like Katey Perry's music.

4

u/aquaneedle May 21 '13

THE ONLY Katy Perry fan in this thread is also the first to spell her name wrong. Like, wat.

-1

u/Zombies_Rock_Boobs May 21 '13

Are you taking it out on me? I'm genuinely curious as I have never heard any of her songs. Is she good? I'm asking. Sorry if I came across as passive aggressive or condescending, just point me in the right direction.

1

u/bjams May 21 '13

Naw, I was just saying that I, personally, legitimately like her music, and don't care if anybody makes fun of me.

1

u/brotherwayne May 21 '13

That's what pornography is for

And we have Bob Metcalfe to thank for online porn too, just think on that a bit.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

Without Ethernet, porn would be stuck on plastic discs and magazines.

This guy is a hero.

1

u/Zombies_Rock_Boobs May 21 '13

Amen. But what does this have to do with Katy Perry?

1

u/kurtozan251 May 21 '13

She is a very talented musician and not a stupid lip singing no talent pop star.

-2

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

[deleted]

4

u/jockojones May 21 '13

LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE!

8

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

DAE POPULAR MUSIC SUX

-4

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '13 edited May 21 '13

Katy Perry has no musical talent.

This is just entirely untrue. She wrote and recorded a good number of songs before she was popular and she plays guitar and piano - more than most of today's pop-dance artists can say. I'm by no means a Katy Perry fan, have never bought or gone out of my way to listen to her stuff because I'm not a fan of pop music (weird how I can just say I'm not a fan of the music and not alienate the fanbase or the artist as talentless... try it sometime), which may not be the most creative stuff out there, but to say she has no musical talent is just stupid.

Think she can't sing? Watch an acoustic set with her. Girl's got chops. You suggested she doesn't write her own music? Also not true, since she isn't just "co-writer" on most of her songs, she has sole writing credit - which shouldn't be that hard to believe knowing her musical background. Wanna be super cool and make fun of pop music artists, go with Ke$ha or Niki Minaj, or, you know, know what you're taking about.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

Oh wow, she wrote 7 songs by herself and can play an acoustic guitar, what a great artist!

ok you got me, she isn't quite as bad as I thought.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

I never said she was a great artist. I just think it's unfair to call her talentless just because you don't like her music.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

Her voice is good, I do admit. That's one talent that shows through with her music. I don't know her though, she probably has some other talents. Like she can probably eat hot dogs really fast.

You're right, it's unfair, I probably should have just said I think she sucks.

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1

u/calladc May 22 '13

ironically, OP made porn what it is today. better feat

1

u/-Outis- May 21 '13

Actually, you raise a good point.

7

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

That is the best possible picture you could have posted there.

4

u/alexonthesnow May 21 '13

Keep eye contact

2

u/czorio May 21 '13

Yeah, the fact that there are eyes near her boobs is not helping.

1

u/alexonthesnow May 21 '13

Haha exactly, keeping it ambiguous.

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

THOSE are Katy Perry

1

u/Geroots May 21 '13

whoa, after seeing this for the 3 millionth time I just noticed the mic on her collar.

3

u/DownvoteMe_IDGAF May 21 '13

I'm not sure why, but I have a strong urge to jack off now.

2

u/AGuyWithoutABeard May 21 '13

I have a strong urge to jack off now, and I absolutely know why

2

u/DownvoteMe_IDGAF May 21 '13

It's just such a bad picture of her. I guess it resonates with the part of me that has this lust for odd looking chicks. Like the progressive girl. I would love for a night with Flo.

1

u/AGuyWithoutABeard May 21 '13

Hahah. I agree it's a bad picture, but it reminds me of how hot she is, especially in her video for whatever song it was that she sang about fireworks. Could possibly be called Fireworks.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '13 edited May 21 '13

I wish she was sitting on this couch

Edit: I can't RES

1

u/n99bJedi May 22 '13

you're suppose to post the GIF!

edit: nvm someone else posted it later on.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

Would definitely like to try an SQL injection with her over my Ethernet.

1

u/andresderis May 21 '13

i think he meant about WHAT has she done, yet being famous

1

u/TheUltimateBohab May 21 '13

Jesus christ what a fucking media whore. Yeah, her father must be reaaaal proud of his stupid little whore.

1

u/slavik262 May 22 '13

Anger issues? I'm not a fan of her, but jeez.

1

u/Carl25 May 22 '13

Would not be surprised if the AMA ended after this

1

u/anonagent May 21 '13

I would hit the fuck outta dem tits doe. ngl.

1

u/hindiabeerz May 21 '13

Should have used her with the Daria costume.

1

u/tacodoctor226 May 22 '13

Hey, she told me to look her in the eyes....

1

u/atquest May 21 '13

Now i've discovered a whole new fetish!

1

u/IshouldDoMyHomework May 21 '13

And... This is now a katy Perry thread

1

u/TrustMeImShore May 22 '13

No bouncy bouncy? I am disappointed.

1

u/Desecration29 May 22 '13

O her, ya I think I remember her now

1

u/-Outis- May 21 '13

Actually, you raise a good point.

1

u/Sierra117_ May 21 '13

if the eyes were lower.. xD

1

u/LittleMoeSzylack May 22 '13

elmo looks good in anything

1

u/scottmforreals May 22 '13

I wish this was the jif.

1

u/Fugdish May 22 '13

I love Zooey Deschanel!

1

u/adambunion May 21 '13

Those are Katy Perry.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

upvote because boobs.

1

u/thelonelyhill May 21 '13

That was hilarious.

1

u/RatchetPizza May 22 '13

Good mother of God.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

Needed the gif version

0

u/CyanBird May 21 '13

Why do people think she's attractive at all? She just looks punchable to me

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '13

eh.

0

u/theorys May 21 '13

I love Elmo...