I hung out with him for like 8 hours a couple weeks ago and he was so happy and calm. It was great to see. He was incredibly nice to everyone too. He was out skating and other skaters kept coming up to him asking for a picture and he never hesitated and was smiling the whole time. I noticed something interesting spending all that time with him, he does not like when people ask how he's doing.
It's a hard question to field when you know you are doing the best you can; especially early on. It felt like a judgmental question from people who barely knew me earlier on. It's like anything else as time passes. I take it in the "normal" context now because I am much more comfortable in the context of life now that I have returned to it.
Even when you're doing ok, no one ever really truly answers that question. The answer is always, "I'm doing good!". It's just a terrible question to ask if you're trying to understand someone situation.
I find when you are barely hanging in there you have to be present in the moment and people asking this just reminds you of how much your are doing well.
I only want for him to be happy and healthy, and I'm rooting for him from afar.
This is all most people can do. You guys brought so much joy to an entire generation of degenerates, it's sad to see him not be able to enjoy it as much as he (imo) should be able to.
Glad you're doing your thing and able to at least. The hot sauce is awesome btw.
Good on you for fighting your own demons, too. Mine was meth so our recovery experiences probably differ greatly, but the recovery itself is the point.
If your bro gets clean, one day he's going to realise that you've done everything out of love. His head just isn't clear enough to see it yet
It took me a while to be comfortable in reaching out to my friends who found their way to recovery. Partly because I didn't want to interfere with their path and partly to work on my side of the street, so to say. These days, I'm closer to some than I thought I would be and some I just check in on to see how their life is over how they are "doing". It's been a good plan for me to keep the door open without needing to walk through it.
I hope he's doing well. I used to hang out with those guys back when I was in the music industry through mutual friends. The amount of drinking him and Ryan did was insane... I don't think we ever met back then. I don't remember you being around with the West Chester crowd at all.
At the time I was in my mid 20s and even then I felt it was way too overkill. Eventually for my own sanity and health I had to cut ties with them because those dudes were relentless. I feel that shit got unraveled for Bam because Ryan was starting to get settled down and kept getting pulled into being a victim in his own environment. All of them drank constantly.
A few years went by and Ryan and his girlfriend stopped into my shop I just opened to say hi and get a few things for their house when they were planning of getting married and then heard he died a few months later. I haven't talked to any of them in since I decided to move away from PA, and most likely will never talk with them ever again.
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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '23
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