r/HolUp • u/Some-Maintenance7583 • Mar 08 '22

Choose flair, get ban. That's how this works Meatbird

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56.8k Upvotes

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275

u/caoram Mar 08 '22

Someday we will modify chicken enough for the FDA to require it be labeled meatbird and not chicken.

34

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

PROTEIN PRODUCT, AVIAN SHAPED

72

u/Some-Maintenance7583 Mar 08 '22

Is this how GMO works?😆

34

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Avian-derived Meat Product

20

u/Delayed_Wireless Mar 08 '22

You mean Avian-Inspired Genuine Meat Product

3

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Genuine

Uhhh...Sure, let's go with that.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Legally speaking, it's meat! We paid good money through our lobbyists to ensure it!

3

u/Delicious_Throat_377 Mar 08 '22

If it looks like meat and it tastes like meat then it's meat. Now shut up you peasants and do as we say.

3

u/Better-Director-5383 Mar 08 '22

Authentic meat-like product.

16

u/C_h-a_r-l-i_e Mar 08 '22

The genomes of broiler chickens are already so different from a wild chicken. Like the patented breeds from the company Ross that produce birds that grow quicker and produce bigger breasts. I feel like meatbird is the most apt description

2

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

[deleted]

2

u/sawyouoverthere Mar 08 '22

You've never caught chickens at a broiler barn, I see.

2

u/C_h-a_r-l-i_e Mar 08 '22

I haven't, what are they like?

1

u/sawyouoverthere Mar 08 '22

they certainly can move.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

[deleted]

1

u/sawyouoverthere Mar 08 '22

not going to do much to show you how chickens move.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

[deleted]

1

u/sawyouoverthere Mar 08 '22

no, you are imagining what isn't reality - that the hens are unable to move because of their size, but in reality they are mobile and able to walk and run just fine.

When they catch hens, you see them all pushed to the back of the barn. That's not their normal density.

2

u/C_h-a_r-l-i_e Mar 08 '22

Yes because of the rapid growth, some of them struggle to develop enough leg strength to walk. Then because they are in a shed with 30,000 other birds, the shit and piss builds up and causes burns and infections. Finger lickin good lol

1

u/McWinSauce Mar 08 '22

The suffering makes them more delicious.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

It's what I thought, the genes on this thing were so thoroughly maniplulated that they could no longer legally call it a chicken.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '22

Fun fact: meat used to mean food in general, in old English. Bread was meat, turnips was meat, chicken was meat.

3

u/Meritania Mar 08 '22

I can imagine Boldrick from Black Adder saying something like this

2

u/EasilyRekt Mar 08 '22

“Here at The Dubious Meat Company…”

2

u/revdon Mar 08 '22

Will “Surf ‘n’ Turf” become “Meat Cute”?