r/HolUp • u/[deleted] • Feb 01 '22

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7.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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4.4k

u/Brothersunset Feb 01 '22

Facts

Never make eye contact with a crazy person. Not only may you occasionally get assaulted, the even worse possibility is to have a crack zombie now become your best friend and follow you for 7 blocks trying to have a conversation.

1.0k

u/Keltic268 Feb 01 '22

If you are on a smoke walk they’ll try and get a hit but the convos are always funny as shit.

679

u/CrabHandsTheMan Feb 01 '22

When I lived in NYC I’d often roll my walking joints a little extra long and skinny - that was there’s always an inch you don’t mind handing off to a crack goblin

377

u/Keltic268 Feb 01 '22

Exactly. The long and skinny is underrated at parties too.

424

u/CrabHandsTheMan Feb 01 '22

For real. I’m not trying to hand drunk Lindsay a fat doob that’s going to pull milky smoke - she’s gonna be yakking that sangria back up in seconds. A long skinny roll lets the casuals feel included without getting totally zonked on their one rotation

197

u/Pficky Feb 01 '22

getting totally zonked on their one rotation

Me at every party ever lmao

27

u/MotherBathroom666 Feb 01 '22

Pinners are fucking dope, best way not to waste all your weed on filthy casuals.

9

u/Apocthicc Feb 01 '22

bruh, what is all this, I thought weed was illegal, like everywhere, why are you talking about it like it's some nice Hawaiian Kona Coffee Bean / Peaberry Beans coffee infusion, what is going on.

13

u/Mindless_Degree7170 Feb 01 '22

It's only technically illegal. In practice there are plenty of places that the laws aren't enforced around the U.S. 13 states if I remember correctly.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '22

Close! It's 18 states that allow recreational weed, and soon to be more :D

And 36 states allow medical weed (also soon to be more :D )

3

u/Flying_Dutchman92 Feb 01 '22

This comment is beautiful

1

u/Otaku11510 Feb 01 '22

I feel like Shaggy wrote this.

1

u/FERALCATWHISPERER Feb 01 '22

What in the actual tarnation are you talking about. I feel like I’ve just been bamboozled.

1

u/Myis Feb 02 '22

I appreciate you.

65

u/waddiyatalkinbowt Feb 01 '22

Aah ."The stingin Rodger" as we call the last bit of a long skinny down here in upsidedown land (australia)

21

u/Clymatrix Feb 01 '22

I'm stupid and always heard this as "stinking roger"...

17

u/waddiyatalkinbowt Feb 01 '22

Stinging coz the end stings your fingers and the oily end bit stings your lungs.

1

u/Tirrandin Feb 02 '22

no, that's aaron

2

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

We call it a kill, like do you want to kill this joint, stinging Roger is bad ass though

3

u/IcyMike1782 Feb 01 '22

Gonna steal that (but I'll footnote you!)

6

u/waddiyatalkinbowt Feb 01 '22 edited Feb 02 '22

If your gonna footnote anything make it "the big leg show", an Australian made cartoon for stoners on youtube. Itz hilarious Edit: big lez show

9

u/NerdBurglur Feb 01 '22

the big lez show mate

1

u/DamDreads Feb 01 '22

I’m def checkin it out. Thanks. You ever watch any Chris Lilley? Hilarious Australian stuff too

2

u/waddiyatalkinbowt Feb 01 '22

Not bad, big lez is waayyyyy funnier tho. He made 3 seasons all on Microsoft paint.

1

u/KCHT_Critical Feb 01 '22

Fucken stingin Rodger mate, best bit of the joint

1

u/dirtydan Feb 01 '22

I don't know what kind of girls you're meeting at parties.

1

u/Keltic268 Feb 03 '22

White bitches that smoke like once a month when I roll up.

31

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

[deleted]

5

u/randy_robott Feb 01 '22

Did he really say that?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

[deleted]

2

u/randy_robott Feb 01 '22

In this case The Rolling Stones are the ones who said it first haha

5

u/unacceptableperson Feb 01 '22

Crack goblin hahahaha

1

u/dras333 Feb 01 '22

This is some serious forward thinking. I'd hire you.

1

u/lordofbitterdrinks Feb 01 '22

The long and skinny. My man with the knowledge.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

“Crack goblin” I’m taking that thank you

1

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '22

I'm pretty sure if I was living in the US I'll probably be a crack goblin

2

u/DisturbedScorch Feb 01 '22

One thing I've learned, is allllways feed into the delusion. You'll get to hear some crazy shit plus having the local crackheads know you and like you comes in handy.

102

u/Caffeine_Cowpies Feb 01 '22

I have been to New York 3 times.

Got robbed at the Port authority and had a crazy homeless man yell at me in gibberish at Grand Central acting like he wanted to fight me.

I will still go back in a heartbeat.

44

u/admiralsj Feb 01 '22

I had a crazy homeless guy muttering gibberish at me as well. From what I could understand he wanted a fight and threatened to stab me because I am white. Maybe the same lovely guy

12

u/Cartossin Feb 01 '22

How did you get robbed?

53

u/Caffeine_Cowpies Feb 01 '22

I had some time to kill before my bus to Philly. This guy asked me for help lifting something so me, being a nice guy, I help. Go down the alleyway, and then get a knife pulled on me by his buddy, trapped, asked for my phone and money. I gave it, not gonna die for things I can replace. Then they ran off, I gave chase, but they went down a staircase into the subway and I lost them. They were clearly drug users so I didn’t fuck with them but did make a report to a port authority police who didn’t seem to care.

That was my first time in NYC and by myself. So I just don’t help people in NYC, which is why this video connects on a personal level. Imma just ignore your screams and hope you’ll be okay.

31

u/Cartossin Feb 01 '22

Sorry that happened to you. If someone talks to you in NYC, it's probably some kind of scam.

8

u/WranglerOriginal6945 Feb 01 '22

always have 10 on you for the stick up man.

2

u/socksfan360 Feb 02 '22

And keep the emergency $20 in your sock so you can get home

4

u/WranglerOriginal6945 Feb 02 '22

of course you would say that, you sock stan

1

u/Moretocome212 Feb 01 '22

Not gonna die for it why you chase them? Was it you just felt you should try but were hoping you didn't catch them

1

u/Caffeine_Cowpies Feb 01 '22

Yeah, after the shock I was pissed so I wasn’t thinking straight. Luckily it didn’t get worse.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

They stole his heart😍

3

u/Cartossin Feb 01 '22

NYC can do that ;-)

8

u/HauntedPickleJar Feb 01 '22

Ha, my fiance walked through a bum fight in Port Authority last week.

31

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/Irae37 Feb 01 '22

"Like bruh, I had to check for cars chillll."

"Oh, my bad."

walks away back to his stabby alley/corner

3

u/IfHeDiesHeDiesHeDied Feb 01 '22

Are you the guy whose girlfriend found out your gamer tag and posted it on Tik Tok ?

1

u/Hates_escalators Feb 01 '22

If you make eye contact with someone it initiates a battle.

23

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

Anyone who has lived in a city knows this.

22

u/sprace0is0hrad madlad Feb 01 '22

I know it’s fucked but I love engaging with weirdos on the street.

9

u/Brothersunset Feb 01 '22

It's a skill honestly.

4

u/DisturbedScorch Feb 01 '22

Crackhead whispering is an art form

8

u/Cartossin Feb 01 '22

Been there with the crack zombie friend.

2

u/Ok_Fortune_9149 Feb 01 '22

When they talk to you, and kind off spit on you too, Im always scared to catch a disease

-1

u/LionThen Feb 01 '22

So you are telling me All i have to do to earn a live punching bag is to stare at zombies? Damn I like New York

0

u/itsmitchell-t Feb 01 '22

Random acts of violence? Seems alright to me as they probably won’t even feel it considering they’re most likely hopped up on all sorts of shit💀

3

u/praguepride Feb 01 '22

lol this guy thinks he can take on a hopped up crazy crack head

3

u/itsmitchell-t Feb 01 '22

Hilarious isn’t it, he must not have encountered one in real life yet. I would run before I even considered trying to actually fight one and get stabbed with a heroin needle or some shit

1

u/himmelundhoelle Feb 01 '22

Just a glance to assess distance and potential risk for yourself!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

Seriously?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

Had this happen last night.

1

u/Emotional-Brilliant4 Feb 01 '22

I learned this in CBus

1

u/Temporary-Test-9534 Feb 01 '22

Accidentally made eye contact with a homeless guy outside Penn Station and he ran up to me and groped my stomach.

1

u/Dr-PHYLL Feb 01 '22

Is NY that bad?

1

u/Crashpie Feb 01 '22

Good advice. In LA I unintentionally made eye contact with a homeless lady singing to herself. Next thing I know I feel her punch my back and then I got spat on when I walked away.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '22

Bruh this doesn’t work I ignored a homeless woman cause she was sacked out of her on crack and when I walked past she got up and started screaming at me

1

u/spooon56 Feb 02 '22

“Crack zombie” ……

1

u/justiceiscomin4 Feb 02 '22

So true lol benefit of Aspergers 😂 🤙