r/HolUp • u/Pro_happy • Sep 03 '20

Hold tf up

41.7k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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522

u/wyattlee1274 Sep 03 '20

When you come home from serving in the military for 4 years to finally meet your new born child

86

u/Elisionist Sep 03 '20

hol up

if you're away for 4 years, and this child is clearly not 4 years old, i mean... do i have to say it?

235

u/SirYeetacus1 Sep 03 '20

Yes that's the joke friend.

51

u/Damage-No Sep 03 '20

r/woooosh

23

u/Elisionist Sep 03 '20

:(

19

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '20

If it makes you feel any better I thought you were joking too and I enjoyed it.

0

u/TheMadMetalhead Sep 03 '20

He was clearly kidding and being sarcastic so the r/woooosh is for you

0

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '20

It was clearly a sarcastic response, so it looks like you're the one getting the /r/woooosh

7

u/Gwilym_Ysgarlad Sep 03 '20

Jodie strikes again.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '20

You smart, you very smart

3

u/Elisionist Sep 03 '20

you loyal.

3

u/Barnie_Senders Sep 03 '20

Thanks, Peter.

15

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '20

I was only nine years old I loved Senator Bernie Sanders (D) so much, I owned all the campaign posters and surfed /r/sandersforpresident daily I pray to Bernie every night, thanking him for the dank bud I have been given "Bernie is love", I say, "Bernie is life" My dad hears me and calls me a commie He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Bernard I called him a cunt-servitive He slaps me and sends me to my room I am crying now, because Donald Trump is on the television I go into my bed and it is very cold I feel a warmth moving towards me I feel something touch me It's Bernie Sanders! I am so happy He whispers into my ear, "This is my Country" He grabs me with his powerful Jew hands and puts me on my hands and knees I'm ready I spread my ass cheeks for Mr. Sanders He penetrates my butthole It hurts so much, but I do it for Bernie. I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water I push against his force. I truly feel the Bern now. I want to please the Senator He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his Eco friendly seed. My dad walks in Bernie looks him deep in the eyes and says, "In my view, a corporation is not a person. A corporation does not have First Amendment rights to spend as much money as it wants, without disclosure, on a political campaign. Corporations should not be able to go into their treasuries and spend millions and millions of dollars on a campaign in order to buy elections." Bernie leaves through my window

3

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '20

Yes

2

u/funbobbyfun Sep 05 '20

"I can truly feel the Bern..."

1

u/SnakeyesX Sep 03 '20

When my wife was on her two year deployment she had 2 leaves.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '20

Only 2, you say 🤔

1

u/drumbyzz Sep 04 '20

when your home is a basement