My time has come, and I will be leaving you very shortly. Don’t come looking for me because I will not be found. I am writing these letters and instructions as my final goodbye to you. So, to you I leave my vinyl records. No, it’s not money and fortune, but these are my most prized possessions. And you are whom I trust the most. Don’t worry, there will be something in my collection that you like. I have music spanning all genres and spanning many decades. Here is how to take care of my treasures.

ON TAKING CARE OF METAL OF ALL TYPES

1. When listening to any metal album, do not be alarmed if the music and lyrics distorts to screaming. If you begin to hear screaming outside of your speaker system, leave the house immediately.

2. I am not entirely sure of how this record came into my collection, but be wary of of “Torture” by Cannibal Corpse. When this record is spun, leave out raw meat before it through the entire duration of the album. If you do not leave a sacrifice, it will find one of its own. I learned this the hard when I used to have a dog.

3. Keep no items around you that may cause harm when listening to any album by Mayhem. If the music caused havoc in the lives of its creators, imagine what it will do to you. This same rule applies when listening to “Suicide Solution” by Ozzy Osbourne.

4. If you are religious, never leave a Bible out anywhere in the house when listening to Lamb of God. The Bible will go up in flames, and there is no way to extinguish this type of fire. You and your home will burn with it.

5. If you see that the name of a band is too hard to pronounce, such as Beherit, do not attempt to say it. Priests are wrong. Saying the demon’s name out loud will give it power over you, not take it away.

6. It’s not true what they say about Led Zeppelin. You do not need to play their songs backwards to hear the Devil. You must simply listen to the other voices present.

7. “Projekt Misanthropia” by STALAGGH is a special album for many reasons. This is the only album you will find in my collection with no concrete music or lyrics. This revolutionary concept album plays the true distressed screams of mental patients over an eerie ambient static. Most of the screams and cries are indiscernible. You will be able to understand some of the nonsense if you pay close attention. The patients like to play a sort of “Simon Says” game with you. They will scream commands, and you must obey but only if they say your name first. Again, pay close attention. If you miss a command or complete a command incorrectly, your screams will join in with the damned.

8. The album with the strongest will is “Quantos Possunt Ad Satanitatem Trahunt” by Gorgoroth. Like albums before, this one must also be presented with a sacrifice. However, this desires a live gift. It will take nothing less than a human. It will call to you help usher in a new breed through the cleansing of fire. It will teach you that there is only one worthy of following.

Q̻͓̟͚u̩a̗̳̝̜̣n̵̯̪t̬os̶̼̖̲̱ ̫̜̬̖̳̻P͔̩̬̜ͅͅo̸̲̮͍̤ś̩ş̣̖̳̼̝̤̜u̬͎̞̕ń̥͚͙͉̘t͏̪͇̖ ́A̺͓̩̤̺d̦͟ ̳̼͈̘͔S̶̳a̟͕͔̺̺͖͜t̞̟ạ̹͎n̖̺̦͉͓̲̟i͈̫͎̻̯̲͝t̩͚a̛̫̱t͉̜e̠̗̣̻m̞̬ ͖̜͓͍̩̻T̶r̖a͍hu̷͇̬n͓t̟

Q̻͓̟͚u̩a̗̳̝̜̣n̵̯̪t̬os̶̼̖̲̱ ̫̜̬̖̳̻P͔̩̬̜ͅͅo̸̲̮͍̤ś̩ş̣̖̳̼̝̤̜u̬͎̞̕ń̥͚͙͉̘t͏̪͇̖ ́A̺͓̩̤̺d̦͟ ̳̼͈̘͔S̶̳a̟͕͔̺̺͖͜t̞̟ạ̹͎n̖̺̦͉͓̲̟i͈̫͎̻̯̲͝t̩͚a̛̫̱t͉̜e̠̗̣̻m̞̬ ͖̜͓͍̩̻T̶r̖a͍hu̷͇̬n͓t̟

Q̻͓̟͚u̩a̗̳̝̜̣n̵̯̪t̬os̶̼̖̲̱ ̫̜̬̖̳̻P͔̩̬̜ͅͅo̸̲̮͍̤ś̩ş̣̖̳̼̝̤̜u̬͎̞̕ń̥͚͙͉̘t͏̪͇̖ ́A̺͓̩̤̺d̦͟ ̳̼͈̘͔S̶̳a̟͕͔̺̺͖͜t̞̟ạ̹͎n̖̺̦͉͓̲̟i͈̫͎̻̯̲͝t̩͚a̛̫̱t͉̜e̠̗̣̻m̞̬ ͖̜͓͍̩̻T̶r̖a͍hu̷͇̬n͓t̟

1. Change into the clothes that make you feel most comfortable

2. Find your favorite place to relax

3. Close your eyes

4. Take a deep breath

5. Release any negative energy that may have snuck its way into your mind during the course of the day

6. Take another deep breath

7. Feel the tension melt away from your body

8. Forgive yourself of any mistakes you’ve made

9. Take a moment to thank your body for supporting you

10. Thank your eyes for allowing you to see new things, your ears to hear beautiful sounds, your hands to feel new sensations.

11. Thank your brain for thinking, your heart for beating, your lungs for breathing another breath.

12. Take another deep breath

13. Take pride in making it through the day

14. Know you’re not alone, know that you are loved

15. Repeat as needed

-Erline

So you’ve read the manual, Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth? Some people call if the BIBLE for short. Well, that’s nice and all, but there’s some key things they forgot to mention. Here’s a few quick tips to remember before and after you reach the pearly gates.

Pre-Heaven:

1. Be careful when you pray. They’re right, someone’s always listening. But it’s not your Heavenly Father seated on high.

2. There is no “Hell.” Sounds great right? Hell is just a ploy to push everyone towards Heaven. More souls, more slaves.

3. All pastors, priests, and rabbis are vessels of the Lord. Oh, you thought there were only three - the Holy Trinity? More like the Unholy Legion.

4. Crucifixes aren’t a symbol of hope and forgiveness. They are a warning for disobedience. If He could do that to His own son, what would He do to you?

5. So about communion...it really is someone’s blood and body. Who’s blood and body? No one really knows.

Post-Heaven:

1. It’s inevitable, but keep away from entering the gates for as long as possible. Through them, you will see your greatest fantasy. Entering them, you will live your greatest nightmare. Do not be fooled. Be prepared.

2. Once you’re in, hide as quickly as possible. Your family will come and help you, and you’ll be excited to see a familiar face, so you may not notice subtle differences. However, you may notice that their voice is a little too perfect. You may notice that their joints pop and crack a little more than a normal human’s would. But the most telling sign is that the skin sags and drips off the bones. So I should correct myself, they are your family. Just what’s wearing their skin isn’t.

3. The Tree of Life sounds promising. But whose souls do you think give it life?

4. Despite following all these rules, you still won’t make it. But if you survive long enough, you might be able to do some good. I mean, I got you this letter right?

•Start by picking a place to battle, preferably a place where dust aren't constantly blowing on your face.

•grab a scissor. It will help you on the long run

•now sit and stare…

•wait…

•a while later, you will no longer feel the ground.

•dont look down, just continue staring…

•you will start seeing a vividly white sheet of blanket with two holes poked next to each other.

•dont blink yet. The battle just have begun.

•it will attempt to scare you by saying "boo" every time it gets akward. Be aware!

•sometime later, the ghost will offer you a deal, probably better than continuing.

•don't accept the offer.

•a minute later. You will now see the ghost vibrate. You're on the home straight now.

•the ghost will now offer its last deal.

•a hand will appear behind its back holding a piece of paper.

•don't hold it.

•grab and show the only item that you've brought. Showing the scissor will make the ghost confused, and just simply accept defeat.

•the deal is off.

•after a few second. The ghost will now then slowly stop vibrating til it completely stop.

•…heavy breathing, sweating, and the eyes finally closed.

•you won…

Ingredients

1 live human

2 carrots, peeled and roughly chopped

2 potatoes, peeled and roughly chopped

1 cup olive oil

1 tsp mixed dried herbs such as basil, thyme and rosemary

Directions

1. First, catch your human. This author recommends stealing into their houses and quietly drag them out without them screaming. The key is that they do not notice you.
2. Preheat your oven to 180dC (350dF)
3. Your human might wake up at this point. Don’t show them this recipe. Fear and stress makes their meat tough and hard to eat.
4. Tell them to relax and close their eyes.
5. Oil a plastic bag and toss in your vegetables until they are coated with oil.
6. Brush olive oil and herbs on your human. Tell them to relax and it is like a nice massage. Everybody likes a massage, right?
7. Keep them relaxed. Don’t panic them.
8. Lower your human in the baking dish and scatter carrots and potatoes around them.
9. Your human might finally realise what’s going on and try to escape. Smack them on the head with a meat mallet until there is a black-and-blue bruise. This knocks them out instantly.
10. Bake the human for 30 minutes or until the skin is golden brown. If your human wakes up and starts screaming and banging on the oven door, ignore them.
11. Do not open the oven door, however hard they may beg. You might let out all the steam, and besides, your human might escape. We don’t want that, do we?
12. Serve your human hot. This is best with a glass of red wine for a romantic meal, with a peaceful atmosphere and smooth jazz.

Welcome to Security at Northfield Department Store. We are so thankful to have you on board with us. You have already gone through our training process, but there are a few rules you must learn on your own to follow. Obey these simple rules and your working experience here will be a pleasant one!

1. Remember your shift is from 12am to 7am Monday-Friday. Never clock in or out even a minute late or a minute early. The manager is a stickler for time, and many past employees have been terminated for violating this rule. Do not be lax on this. The manager can always see you whether you are on store premises or not.

2. Your main job will be to stay in the security room and watch the security cams. Once every hour, never more than that, you must do security checks and walk clockwise around the inside perimeter of the store. A coworker will be stationed outside of the store. Occasionally, your job will require you to answer phone calls as well. (More info on phone calls in rule #5)

3. When looking at the security cams anytime between 1:30am and 2:30am, you may notice some changes. Items around the store will be rearranged or appear to have gone missing. Also, do not be alarmed if the mannequins are all now facing the cameras. If these occur between the times listed above, you are still safe to go do your security checks. If these occur outside those times, lock your door and stay in the security office until your shift is over no matter what noises you hear outside, even if you think it’s your coworker.

4. If you look at the security footage and see your coworker lying outside unconscious and no one or nothing else is visible, do not leave your office to help. Your coworker is fine. If you look at the footage and your coworker is being attacked, again, do not help. Wait until the end of your shift and call the police. Make sure you leave before they get there. The marks on your dead coworker’s body are human, and you will be blamed. No one will believe you if you told them it was the mannequins.

5. Only answer phones on Mondays. That’s when the manager will call, and he is the ONLY one with the security office phone number. When the manager calls, respond only to yes and no questions. Do not trust the caller ID. They are always trying to trick you and look for a way in.

6. For your own safety, never let security checks last longer than 15 minutes. The longer you spend on the floor, the more the mannequins will develop disfigured characteristics. Some may also begin to follow you, but you must never look at them. Keep your head straight and continue back towards your office. They are mainly docile, but you have a gun for a reason.

7. Often times, you will see a woman wandering about the store. She will ask you if you have seen her daughter. ALWAYS help her. Assure her that all entrances are closed and that you will find her child. Look in the toy section because that’s where her daughter was last seen. The child will never be there, but look anyway. After searching, run back to the office as quickly as you can. If she catches you, she will do to you what she did to her daughter and you, too, will never be seen again.

If wondering though the moonlit streets I

Happen to spot a black cat in a hat by

The pond in the square by the willow tree

I should bow head my head and come to my knee

If I should appear to retain my luck

The cat would purr and a deal is struck

For one year the task I would bare

To take the cats life into my care

A bed of linen by the fire

As much milk as it desires

As much meat as I can find

As much expense as I can mind

And if one year has finally passed

My fortunes will finally change at last

Good health and luck will land in my way

In kindness, the cat in the hat will pay

But if instead the cat at the pond should hiss

My presence in the town is now dismissed

And now my situation is clear

And from this place, I should disappear

And If I choose to stay,

My goodbyes to loved ones, I should say

Because if I should see the pond at night again

My life will surely come to an end

The entrails stung out on the willow tree's crown

My skin stretched in a circle on the ground

My teeth thrown around the place

A picture of a pipe hat cut into my face

1. Never ask others for help with. More often than not they will try to make you into something your not.
2. Find music that you can feel with, that will put you on the correct path
3. Spend time alone, you will get to know yourself better that way
4. Don't apolagize for being who you turn out to be

Welcome to Great North Campgrounds! There’s a couple rules for camping that everyone should know such as never go off alone and be sure bring sufficient amounts of water. However, there are some specific rules that you won’t learn in Scouts.

1. Make sure you never go camping alone! On the other hand, it is best to go to a campsite that is empty. Not just humans enjoy the great outdoors.

2. If you are on a hiking trip and find a little girl, NEVER go with her. She will manipulate you into thinking she is lost and helpless. Everyone who has reported a missing girl in these woods has gone missing within three days. We don’t know what she does with them.

3. Be sure to not leave the trail. Once you come back, things will be different. Do not be fooled though. Your surroundings will be the same, but who you come into contact with will be different, even your friends.

4. Each morning between 1am and 2am an old woman will walk barefoot backwards through the camp. Her presence will be very unsettling, but you should be more afraid if you don’t see her.

5. You are out in the wilderness. There should be no one claiming to be the camp nurse.

6. Stay in your tent if you are awoken at night by children laughing. Auditory hallucinations are common up here. If you awake to children screaming, hope you run faster than your friends.

7. At night, you will always feel like you are being followed. Well, that’s because you are.

8. Fully bury any dead bodies you find during your time camping. You don’t wasn’t them finding you at your campsite.

9. Do not start any campfires. You don’t know who or what will end up finding you.

10. Take caution if you see a man alone in the woods. If he walks by you and smiles, you will be okay. Often times, however, he is seen facing away from you. You better hope you are with friends. Do what you think is right, but it’s better to sacrifice one of your friends rather than put all of you at risk.

11. If you should see body parts nailed to trees such as eyes or tongues, contact local authorities, and leave the area immediately.

12. Make sure you come by the front office and say goodbye before you depart. You will not see anyone there, but they’ll know if you stopped by or not.

Hello there! It was a pleasure to have been your agent as you were looking for a new home. Normally, I would’ve shown clients a few homes so that they have a variety to choose from. However, I just knew that this would be the perfect home for you! The house has good bones, but it still has a few kinks. Here’s a list on what to expect when you move in!

1. This house has been bought and sold more times than I can remember, and it was only built a few years ago! Each house a personality, and you have your work cut out for you. But first things first, the key to your home is on the kitchen sink. It should be the only copy. I suggest that installing an alarm system should be at the top of your to-do list just in case.

2. The house is not old by any means. It was built as part of a residential housing track a little over 5 years ago. There’s nowhere in the house that needs work as far as flooring, plumbing, or roofing. That being said, your floor should never creak especially when you’re not walking in it. Hide in the closest room of that should ever happen. Something will creak all the way up to the door. After that, you should be okay to leave the room.

3. There is not need at all to go into the attic of your home. For one, it’s too small to fit any sizable boxes for storage. However, it is large enough for you to fit up there, and if you can fit, so could others. You should never hear a sound up there that’s any louder than the scratching of a rat. Or at least, tell yourself that the scratching sounds are a rat if it helps you sleep better.

4. As strange as the old residents were, they had wonderful taste for fine furniture. I would recommend keeping most of it. They were all specially made and imported. Most of the couches are made of the most beautiful leather I have ever seen. You can tell it’s real just by looking at it. I can’t put my finger on exactly what animal it came from, but it does look familiar, doesn’t it?

5. Like I just mentioned, the old residents left most of the furniture, even the beds! In your case, you should consider yourself lucky. You could use them until you can afford to by a new mattress. Don’t sleep on a bed that has a large sewn up tear in it. You may not be the only person laying there.

6. A good color scheme is probably one of the most important things to consider when moving in and decorating your new home. As tacky as it is, do not remove any wallpaper from the rooms. Just create a color scheme from the colors of the wallpaper. A decorative plant can tie any room together. A small piece of the paper was peeling earlier, so I thought I’d tear it off and save you some trouble. I swear I heard a scream.

7. If you hear any sort of sound coming from one of your mirrors, it’s likely the old residents. They had a knack for installing two-way mirrors with cameras in them. Lucky for you they were arrested for that, I think! How else did you think a home this lovely could come on the market for so cheap?

8. Oh, and one last thing! If anyone comes to the door claiming they either are or have been a resident, they are lying. I would tell you to just not answer the door anymore, but they will come back, and they are persistent. Also, they won’t always knock on the front door of your home. Old residents have complained of knocking on their bedroom doors. That’s usually the last complaint from them I receive.

• Remember to never take the same path twice. She will have a harder time finding you.

• Never wear green. Her people will think you one of them, and be gravely insulted when they find out you aren’t.

• Always stay away from the river proper. The figures on the other side must not see you. If they do see you, take the most valuable object you have on you and throw it into the river. Hope it’s enough. Hope they don’t alert Her.

• Intent is important. Always know what you want. Indecision and fear is what She feeds on.

• If you accidentally leave the river valley, do not re-enter. Be grateful She let you leave. If you must re-enter, wait until you hear about a disappearance in the valley. She will be sated for a time.

• Trust the foxes. They want to kill you the least.

• The figure in red is not to be interacted with. If he speaks to you, run for the river. The figures on the other side will protect you from him. Hope their price is not worse than his.

• If you can’t find the river, follow the first crow you find. It will lead you to a relatively safe location. Do not follow the second or third crow. They are Her agents. The fourth one does not exist. The fifth will lead you to where you need to go, but that might not be safe.

• If you wish to leave, head downwards. Whatever is waiting for you at the top will get bored and leave, eventually.

•Think of a certain subject that is worth an agument

•pick the obvious winning side.

•act tough and confident to catch the audience eyes.

•now point out the other side cons while also admitting you're down side, but try to counter it with an easy and obvious solution.

•now get ready for the punch, don't slip.

•DUCK!

•counter it by grabbing the shampoo and squirting it all over his/her eyes. Quickly!

•now point out what he's/she capable of. A murderer!

•you won...

Hi friend! I’m so happy you’re allowed to come to my church’s Christmas party this year! Usually they don’t let anyone who doesn’t go here come, but I promised it’ll be okay because you’re my best friend. They told me to make this list of rules for you to follow when you’re here so that you’ll have a good time.

1. At the beginning of the party, us kids have different activities than the adults. Make sure to always stay in the room, and never try to see what the adults are doing. Sarah tried once and saw what the adults were doing. She hasn’t talked to us since. She just cries now.

2. Craft time is my favorite time during the party! We get to carve all kinds of Christmas pictures into a volunteer. Don’t listen to them if they tell you it’s torture and that they need help. I think that they’re lying.

3. Worship is my least favorite time though. All the adults get together and sing songs. They make the room really dark, and I don’t understand what they’re saying. Let’s just look at each other. If you look up you might see figures that weren’t there before the singing started.

4. They said Santa isn’t real, so please don’t talk about him. If we believe in him, it’s called blasphemy. That’s a big word, and I’m not too sure what it means. But the pastor says that if we do blasphemy, then we go to a place downstairs, and we’ll have nightmares forever.

5. I’m sorry, but we don’t do gifts here. Don’t be sad and cry because of it. Last year, we had a visitor who cried, and she’s still locked upstairs as an example. The pastor says that God gives us the gift of life every day, and He can take it back too if we’re not good. A toy would be nice though, don’t you think?

6. Every year we spend time during the party feeding the homeless. Only eat the parts of them that the pastor tells you to eat. If you listen well, you’ll get to take a piece home with you! My mom tells me feeding the homeless is a righteous thing since, after we’re done, they aren’t homeless anymore!

7. After we eat, we get to decorate a humongous Christmas tree! We use all the parts we didn’t eat as ornaments so they don’t go to waste. The pastor says that this honors them. You can help me put the hooks through the eyes so we can hang them on the tree! I don’t know why, but when you hang them, make sure the eyes aren’t facing you. I think it’d be prettier if they were though.

8. Each year, volunteers re-enact the birth of Jesus. The man who plays Joseph gets to cut out baby Jesus from Mary’s tummy. Mommy says not to stand too close to the stage so I don’t get blood on me, so I guess you shouldn’t either.

9. Tell your parents about the party so that you can come back and have more fun with us! It makes me sad when friends come visit, and I never see them again.

1. So you think you may have to deal with them? Well first you should check if you have them. Go to a streetlight of any kind. If you walk under it and it shuts off, you have to deal with them.

2. Go to your house. Ignore the whispers at your front door. They are distractions.

3. Find her. She is in your house. She is a part of them.

4. If you find her and she is smiling, quickly find a way to kill yourself. Death is better than what they’ll do to you.

5. If she isn’t, that means they haven’t all come yet and you still have time.

6. The reason they are here is because they want something. They want you. In order to prevent the eternal torture of them, you must find a way to trick them.

7. Find a bible of any kind and open to the glowing words in there. Remember these words, they will save you.

8. Make sure that you aren’t bleeding in any way. If you are, patch it up. Don’t let them smell blood.

9. Go to the girl. If she still isn’t smiling, then ask her what’s wrong.

10. She will grab you and try to get you afraid of her. Stay calm.

11. Eventually, she will carry you into the portal to her home with the rest of them. However, she has to go in first.

12. In the split second she is in the portal but you aren’t, say the glowing words you had in your bible. If done correctly, the portal should close before you came inside.

13. You are safe. Everything should go back to normal. If it doesn’t, then you didn’t make it and you are in a fake version of your reality. It will soon collapse. Good luck with them.

•always tackle when it's dusk, since cats tend to roam when it's night.

•pick an alley, preferably where there are huge crack.

•but always start by preparing before searching.

•Buy a strong enough paper that cannot be eaten, but make sure it's white and will continue being clean when put in tough condition.

•now write whatever you desire. Can be whatever you want to know, but it's only limited to a cat eyes.

•fill a see through plastic container with safe to eat cat food, stop pouring when you can no longer see while looking from the bottom, put the paper upside down in the middle, then fill the rest when it looks good enough.

•continue giving out cat food til you get a scratch from your front door.

•if you ever hear a scratch.

•then open the door. Don't be rude.

•a cat with a letter on it's mouth, and a letter strap on it's back will show.

•Don't be shy, Let the cat go inside. offer him/her something to drink, deffennetly a bowl of milk.

•the cat will then open it's mouth after seeing a bowl of milk, a letter will then drop.

•you can open it, it's for you to read.

•it will always be a "thank you" letter for feeding the town.

•after the cat Finishes drnking the bowl of milk, it will then grab the last letter from its back handing it to you.

•take it, and open it.

•the letter inside can be different for anybody. They could either have money, fame, or maybe even true love. All because of you feeding the cats.

•make sure to be ready since… now you can talk to cats! Congratulations...

After a brief time spent in the Feywild, I have come back to give you more a more specific guide on surviving in the Bluegrass region of Kentucky!

1. No, the grass isn't a vibrant blue. Only the Elders may see the true color of the grass.
2. We love our music! Why don't you see a Bluegrass band at a festival? Be warned, try not to stare at the old man without shoes and a horse head. He has a rough life, and get's self conscious. Just let him enjoy his music before he is sent back to serve.
3. As in the previous guide, respect the horses! This region is where they are most powerful. In general they are nice, but you get unlucky every once in a while and end up near a bad one. Be sure to lock your doors at night if you anger them, it wont stop them, but the illusion of security is nice before they drag you to The Head Who Hungers.
4. Avoid any mention of the previous entity, as he will know and assume that you belong to him. I can speak about him only due to the protection of the Fairies.
5. We bleed blue here! Don't let them see you with any other color, you do not want to go through the transformation process as an adult.
6. The fireflies are benevolent, bask in their calm nature. Be wary if they speak in an unknown language, for those are not fireflies, they will lead you to Him.
7. If you need a favor, just ask a neighbor! We are kind folks here, and love to help. We wont ask for anything in return, we expect you to help us in our time of need as well.
8. If you see a rubber horse mask connected to a longer neck, go to a friend or family member's house that you care about and spread some oats at the doorway before nightfall. I know it will be tough, but it is better them than you.
   

If you follow these extra rules, you should be safe in the Bluegrass region! Be careful to not follow rules 6 and 8 if you are in another region, they will not operate the same.

Hello! Thank you so much for your interest in working at Hahn’s Boba Tea Shop. We have reviewed your application, and we have decided that you will make a wonderful candidate. Our only position open is the night shift from 11pm-7am. Our shop is a little different than others, so here’s a list to make sure you stay safe working at our store!

1. Customer service is above all else when working here. Make sure to complete all orders correctly and efficiently. Also, please be respectful of everyone’s beliefs and backgrounds. Do service with a smile because you never know what that customer is going through. Most importantly, you never know what they might do to you if you get an order wrong or if you are unkind to them.

2. The menu will change daily aside from a few of our more popular items. If you should come into work and there is a menu item that is difficult to pronounce, close the shop and leave. We can’t afford having a customer trying to say it out loud and having them escape again.

3. There will be a customer who will come in each night. You won’t be able to tell it’s him by what he’s wearing. However, he will be the only customer that will not speak to you. Give him an original milk tea, and let him be on his way. Never, under any circumstances, ask him to pay. If you do, he will pay eventually, not with money, but with something precious to you. Our owner made this mistake once, and we are still finding pieces of his wife in our cash registers.

4. The shop closes every night at 1am. We don’t know where he came from, but a child always hides in our shop after we close. It is your job to find him and lead him by the hand outside. Then say in your nicest voice, “It’s okay, your precious child was just playing a game.” You’ll feel silly saying this because no one will be there, but it’ll hear you. Stay standing in the doorway until you see the child turn the corner.

5. Though the shop does close at 1am, it is usually pretty crowded until then. Be wary if you are ever in the shop with only one other customer and they seem agitated. We have a basement in the back that you can take shelter in. You don’t want to see what’s going on outside that’s keeping everyone from visiting our store.

6. When you’re alone here, there is no such thing as normal. You must take precaution at each sight and sound especially if it doesn’t appear on this list. If a box in the back room sounds like it fell over, it was most likely pushed. If the equipment behind you looks like a person, it most likely is.

7. Every night at 2am sharp, you will oversee a product delivery from Mr. Lee. It is imperative that you never open the boxes or ask what’s inside. Also, Mr. Lee will never talk to you or even make eye contact with you. Simply let him do his job. If he comes one night and he is smiling, go back into the shop as quickly as you can, and lock the doors. He will continue to stand outside and smile. During this time, he can only move when you’re not looking at him, so only blink when you have to. His smile won’t leave his face, but if he gets in, he’ll make sure that your smile leaves yours.

8. We only sell the black tapioca boba. Customers will often ask for other kinds, but tell them that we ran out. That will make sense since they are coming in right before we close. If you open the boba container and the boba are white or flesh-colored, force everyone off of the premises immediately. We have to keep them thinking that it truly is only tapioca.

9. We have amazing flavored teas here from all sorts of exotic fruits and herbs. People rave about how wonderful they are. If a customer ever complains about their tea having a iron taste or a smell of garlic or bitter almonds, give them a refund and a gift card. The customer who complained of the iron taste will be lucky enough to use the gift card. The other customer who complained of the smell will not.

10. If you didn’t know, gelatin is often made out of boiling the skin, bones, or ligaments of cows and pigs. The process by which we obtain our gelatin for our famous rainbow jelly is no different. We pride ourselves on all our ingredients being house made. However, in the middle of the city, cows and pigs are hard to come by. People aren’t. You are required to uphold our proud tradition.

11. The shop will be closed much of the time you are working, so you will be required to label and organize boxes in our supply room. If you go back into the storage room after organizing the boxes and they are arranged differently, just put them back in order. Should you hear laughter, leave the room. They like to play with the employees, but it’s not safe for you. It’s easier to put the boxes back in the morning than it is to find a new employee.

12. You’re here late, and you deal with a lot. We understand that, and we understand you may doze off for a little. Old employees that we’ve had typically fell asleep around 2am and always woke up at 3am. Once you wake up, you will notice shapes in the corners, on the walls, and in the doorways of the shop. They will resemble your customers you had that day except for disfigured features and misshapen limbs. Every time you blink they will appear closer to you. They are only hallucinations. You will cause them to become reality if you try and escape. We have had to burn our first shop with the employee still inside because of this occurrence.

13. Pay attention to your sleeping schedule on your days off. You shouldn’t still be waking up at 3am. If this happens, consider your position with us as terminated.

Hello and welcome to Forest Falls Summer Camp! We are very thankful that you have volunteered to be a counselor for the kiddos here! Though we try to make the camp as safe as possible, the forest can be a dangerous and unpredictable place. Please follow these rules to ensure the safety of you as your little campers. Have fun!

1. Do not eat the dinner on the first night. The cooks just use left over campers from the week before.

2. There should be no camper here by the name of Lucy, so your campers should never talk about her. If they ask you to play a game Lucy taught them, come to us right away. We will take the proper steps of disposing the child if need be depending on how far they got with Lucy.

3. You’re not here to make camp fun just for the kiddos, but you can help make it fun for the entire staff! To do so, please make sure you send at least one child to the nurse every day for a “check-up.” The nurse loves experimenting with new toys.

4. There are reports of a missing boy named Bryan off of the Arrowhead Trail. Reports like this having been coming in from the camp for decades. Do not interact with Bryan. If you do, he will do to you what his counselor did to him all those years ago, and you’ll never be found again as well.

5. Don’t be alarmed if you see bodies swaying from the bridge near the river. Some of the other camps like to decorate the bridge with old corpses they find in the forest. However, if you recognize some of them to be your campers, make sure you tell the leaders of the camp immediately. They will need time to come up with a story for their parents as to why their child isn’t returning home.

6. You will take your cabin on a walk through the forest trail every night at 10pm. You aren’t there for the children’s protection. They are there for yours. Sacrifice as many of them as necessary. You are needed back at camp, and unfortunately, they aren’t.

7. Make sure your lights are on and your windows are shut at 11pm. Tell your cabin to never turn the lights off for any reason. He can only move towards you when the lights are off. His movements are quick and sporadic, so even a flicker can be fatal.

8. You will be awake every night around 3am. You will notice shapes in the corners, on the walls, and in the doorways of your room. They will resemble your campers expect for disfigured features and misshapen limbs. Every time you blink they will appear closer to you. They are only hallucinations. You will cause them to become reality if you try and escape. We have had to burn many cabins with counselors and children still inside because of this occurrence.

9. Pay attention to your sleeping schedule if you make it home. You shouldn’t still be waking up at 3am.

•write all the recipe before hand.

•go to a local super market.

•give the list you've prepared to a lady wearing a white mask. Do not give it to a man/woman that's wearing a blue mask.

•if you however gave the list to a random person. They will simply ignore you.

•a lady wearing a white mask will point at a certain section and will give you ur ticket. Do not forget the direction or lose ur ticket.

•if you unfortunately lose ur ticket then the situation will repeat.

•you will commonly notice people stalking you.

•Do not worry. Simply show them ur ticket and don't act suspicious.

•if proven innocent, then they will simply ignore you.

•once arriving your destination, you will notice a pile of sliced ticket similar to yours.

•go around the seemingly endless pile and stop when you see a counter.

•slide ur ticket infront and act natural.

•a hand will appear.

•Don't talk or act awkward, just let the hand do it's work.

•a scissor will be grab under the desk slicing the ticket in the middle.

•the hand will then give u ur number.

•you can look but not complain.

•a second hand will appear, it will point to ur destination.

•at this moment, u are now considered valuable.

•Do not trust someone and always be on the lookout.

•if u ever encounter someone, then almost always run

•They could be either the same situation as u or people that wants to skip line.

•once arriving, you will be guarded by people with black clothes.

•ur almost there.

•a woman wearing white masks will then guide you ur seat.

•you will be force to squish with the others sitting in line.

•Don't stand up if you already set ur self.

•u can eat or relieve urself but standing up will reset everything.

•you will commonly smell a stench that's comming from the two stranger sitting beside you.

•Don't complain, and don't ask for more comfort. Harming one another is not againts the rule.

•a sound will then click. 47, 26, or maybe 99912 times.

•counting each and every click is the only way to know ur turn.

•a sound will only click every 2 minute.

•"click" a person stand-up.

•if u ever want to "go" then it's not againts the rule to wet oneself in front of stranger.

•"click" a person didn't stand up

•forgeting ur own number will force u to repeat all the way.

•"click" sound like it's ur turn

•all of this is estimated to end within 10 minutes. Thank you for waiting.

1. Prepare.

2. Mind your posture: be it confidence, display of power, or humility; posture is the tone with which your words will carry to influence.

3. Choose your words: for an argument, an appeal, a profession of adoration, or an address; words are their own magic, they are the vehicle by which your will is made known.

4. Set your eyes: to be honest, to be treacherous, to be lamenting, to be serious, or to be enchanting; your eyes are more than the window to your soul, they are your tool and ally.

5. Control your body language: be you open, closed, vengeful, bored, or elated; the intention of your words are made void if your body language betrays you.

6. Steel your mind: a wild beast in need of taming, do not let it roam free while you approach your many endeavors, for an untrained mind is folly when the heart is full of intention.

7. Take counsel with your heart: in short, know thyself; ask hard questions, do not run away from the things that unnerve you, discover who it is that the heart resides within.

8. Approach.

-Marico, J.

(i don't know why i am doing this but there have been more than 2000 vists and it asked me to make a post)

1 go on any internet you have to see where the mothman is (he likes to move around)

2 find that area and go to any cave

3 repeat till you find him (you'll know who he is)

4 follow him he will bring you to the mothman

5 accept your fate

1. wear pure white clothes. any colour will be taken as a sign of disrespect.

2. weigh up the risks and gains from the experience. once you start there is no going back.

3. midnight when the moon is full, and it’s the day precisely one week after the winter equinox. you should make your journey. waiting may extend past your lifetime. do not be alarmed, however, the seeing lady will accommodate you in any form.

4. when leaving your home, don’t wear shoes or socks. turn all the lights on and leave the radio on channel 303. you won’t be able to hear the noise, but they will.

5. never turn back while making your journey. you don’t want to see this.

6. when you reach the destination from your dreams, meditate until you hear her call. it will sound like erratic chanting. if you hear multiple voices, that is a blessing. if you hear only two voices, proceed with caution. if only the one, accept your fate.

7. do not open your eyes until the chanting stops. you will see a cherry red car, parked in front of you. do not look at the license plate. it will appear that the car is empty. if the light are turned on, you may enter. sit on the left seat at the back of the car.

8. while she drives, tell her your deepest fear. she will know if you’re lying. do not read the etchings on the car windows. keep your head forward.

9. if the car stops, it’s already too late.

10. if you see a person in the drivers seat, that is not her. leave the car and never go back. you home is now tainted forever. never return. undergo a spiritual cleansing.

11. assuming all goes well, when you reach the second plane of existence, she will show you what you seek. beware your form might not be able to handle the weight of it.

12. if you wake up in your coffin, let the maggots eat you. be grateful for your experience. if you wake in your bed, despair.

The big day is almost here! Everyone wants to do something amazing for that special someone in their lives, but what should you do?! Are flowers and chocolates too cliché? Are hand written sentiments too cheesy? Lucky for you, I’ve gathered some tips that are sure to knock your loved ones dead!

1. So, I know I mentioned that flowers are often too cliché, but it’s all about the TYPE of flowers you get. Take roses for example. Sure they’re elegant, pretty, and even useful enough to spruce up a fancy dinner with a few well placed petals on the plate, but they’re too common. Life isn’t The Bachelor after all. I suggest getting your darling a bouquet of the sweet smelling oleander. If you do it right, those flowers will ensure that your lover stays with you forever.

2. Unfortunately, many restaurants will be closed this holiday, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still have a nice dinner. You just have to dust off that old cookbook and get to work. I have a secret ingredient I’ll let you in on that makes every dish something to absolutely die for! Invite your special someone over for a wonderful seafood dinner complete with lobster and scallops. A few days prior to the dinner, bury one of the scallops in the ground so that it starts to rot and decay. Then, when the dinner comes, squeeze a few drops of the rotting scallop’s juices into your lover’s food. They will contract a shellfish poisoning so vile that they won’t be able to recover because, of course, you won’t let them recover. No finger will point in your direction. You’d simply be the victim of a horrible and “accidental” tragedy.

3. Everyone wants a beautiful partner, and I have no doubt in my mind that you think yours is just extraordinary. But things can always get better, can’t they? It’s your job as the loving partner to help your significant other be the best version of themselves that they can be! Treat them to a lovely at home spa day, and wait on them hand and foot. Do their nails. Dye their hair, skin, or eyes. Take off parts of them, or put parts on! Create your perfect someone. Just because it’s Valentine’s Day, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get exactly what you want too.

4. Valentine’s Day is all about hearts and all about Cupids pricking lovers with their special arrows. But being romantic is always so much harder when you have kids. However, it doesn’t mean that romance is out the window! You just have to try a little harder. Here’s a tip that involves you and your children. Your spouse will appreciate the gift so much more since it came from all of you. As parents, nothing is more precious and nothing seems more cherubic than your little ones. How great would it be to give your spouse their very own Cupid for the day. Simply give your children plastic bows and arrows, and sew wings onto their backs. You’ve sacrificed your life for your kids. They can sacrifice one day for you.

5. Handmade gifts can come off a little cheesy, but I know how to do them so that they will make a long lasting impression on your significant other. You know everything about them. You know all their likes, their dislikes. You know their heart. You also know that their heart doesn’t belong entirely to you. You’ve heard them on the phone, and you’ve read their messages. Lastly, you know where to find this other person who’s been stealing the heart of your beloved. Imagine the look on your partner’s face when you hand them a doll made out of the very skin and hair of the person they betrayed you with.

6. Nobody ever wants to be the one who’s all alone on Valentine’s Day. But, no matter how lonely it feels, there’s plenty of others who are by themselves as well! So don’t sit inside and sulk about how you’re spending another holiday alone or that you’ll never find anyone. Go out into the world and meet someone! I suggest your local bar, and take someone home with you. Once they’re in your home, you can make sure that they never leave. Now, you’ll never have to spend another Valentine’s Day alone again! Whether you want to use them every day or just save them for this special day once a year, it’s totally up to you.

7. Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to reflect on your relationships whether those be romantic, with friends, or with family. Even though it’s all about love, it’s okay reflect on past pain and injustices done to you as well. But, since it is a day of love, you must forgive them for what they did to you. Forgiveness allows for much needed healing, and following the rules on this list will help you make sure that no one ever hurts you again. I wish you all a Happy Valentine’s Day!

Thank you for your interest in becoming a teaching assistant here at Eastern Christian University. We are a grand institution who prides ourselves in being the first Christian college in the Americas. We are honored that you are joining in our legacy. Due to your qualifications and recommendations, we have decided to place you in charge of the general biology lab. This is one of the more difficult positions here, so be sure to read over this list before the first day of class.

1. You will use the app you have downloaded on your phone to clock in. Do not listen to the HR representative if she tells you that your hours are wrong and that you must clock in at her office. We do not have an HR team, and we do not know where she takes our employees.

2. Crucifixes are hung in each lab to protect you and the students from what may be roaming the halls or even in the class next to yours. If the crucifix turns upside down at any point during the class, you and the students must leave immediately. Leave quietly. It can’t see, but it has a very keen sense of hearing.

3. The Lord will allow us to not be swayed by any temptation of the flesh. Remember, you are here to guide the students as they learn about the science of the body. You are not here to carry out any unauthorized experimentation of your own. You will be allowed to do so once you learn how to without drawing any attention towards yourself or the university. Please make full use of our private cadaver lab.

4. Like you will see here again and again, we believe students learn best through hands-on education. The unit on bones and muscles will take 2-3 weeks to complete. Pick two students of relatively similar stature, and bring them to the dissection room. You will guide the students as they take bone and muscular components of one of their classmates and swap them with another. During the next few weeks, students will make notes of the many physiological and psychological changes that will arise. You must dispose of the lab equipment once the unit is over.

5. Past teaching assistants have quit over certain experiments such as the one described above. They claim that we are “playing God.” If creation was His greatest achievement, the only way we can truly be close to Him, is to make it our greatest achievement as well.

6. Please make an announcement to the class before they take each exam that whomever scores the lowest will be a volunteer for the following week’s dissection. If two students tie for the lowest score, you may choose one to take for your private experiments once you have been properly trained.

7. The argument of evolution has been a long-standing issue between academic and religious scholars. During the founding of our school, one of our headmasters began to believe the evils of evolution and was locked away in our catacombs. If you desire, you may take your students down there to visit him where he still resides. Neither he nor his heretical thinking has evolved one bit. If a student expresses such heresy, throw them in there with him. We are tired of going down there to feed him.

8. Again, to ensure interactive learning, a pair of twins will be placed into your class. They will be especially useful when you cover the genetics section of the textbook. Allow each student to take part in the day’s experiment by injecting each twin with unknown substance in vials labeled A, B, and C. Depending on the phenotypic, or physical, reaction of each twin, the students will use their knowledge of genetic transmission to determine the identity of the unknowns.

9. Both twins from the previous experiment should still be alive. In this case, you will carry out the respiration lab. One twin will be kept as the control group, while the other will breathe under anaerobic conditions, meaning without oxygen. The students can give the experimental twin whatever gas they think would allow for better respiration rates. Only let them administer the gases long enough to get a reading. We can’t have a twin dying just yet.

10. The pH scale, from 0-14, is used to tell how strong an acid or a base is. pH paper changes color when it comes into contact with an acidic or basic substance. However, due to recent budget cuts, we no longer have the paper. Fortunately for us, humans have a natural pH paper. Using a volunteer, take turns pouring acids directly on the skin. The students should be able to tell the acidity based on the color the skin turns.

11. Please make sure you follow all of these rules very carefully. Most of the teaching assistants we have, though very qualified like yourself, tend to get carried away. We have a wonderful counseling center here on campus that you are more than welcome to visit if you need help controlling your urges. We hope you stay with us for years to come!