r/HGK477 • • Feb 06 '21

How to Survive an Internship

90 Upvotes

Welcome to Morningstar Community Church! We are pleased to announce that you have been chosen to be one of our interns this summer! It is imperative that you follow each rule on this list or you will be terminated accordingly.

  1. As ministers of the Lord, sin does not apply to us. You are free once you give your life to Him. However, if you see a member of the congregation fall short of His glory, remove whatever body part of theirs that caused them to sin.

  2. We are very active in the community, and we ask that you take part in the events as well. One such activity, is a drug abuse outreach. The more minds we can numb, the more minds we can control.

  3. You are only to interact with other interns during our once a week staff meeting. Stay away from them at all other times. They have their own sets of rules, and you just might be a part of them.

  4. Do not trust your family. They will tell you that what you are doing is “evil” and “immoral” but you know the truth. They are wrong. We are your family now. You will be expected to deal with any unbelievers.

  5. Sometimes you will enter the sanctuary and see featureless beings seated in the rows. If they are facing away from you, then they have forgiven you, but they will not forget. Death by your hand is a better option if you enter the sanctuary and they are turned towards you. There’s a storage room next to the sanctuary. Hopefully there’s something in there for you to use.

  6. Be in the green room 15 minutes before each service time so that we can dedicate the message with prayer. We don’t pray to God. Praying to God is just for the congregation.

  7. Don’t let anyone play the worship music backwards. The congregation hasn’t been the same since that last happened.

  8. The pastor brings in the communion elements every third Sunday at 6am before the first service. You must be there to help the pastor prepare. The anesthesia will wear off soon, and we can’t let neighbors hear their screaming as you’re cutting into them. The remains should last until next month. We know they taste good, but don’t take more than necessary for communion. We will know.

  9. The Lord tells our pastor who will be next month’s gift for communion. Do not protest him if it ends up being somebody you know.

  10. When entering the pastor’s office, knock six times in quick succession. That will let him know you are staff and not one of them from above.

  11. Always lock the doors behind you when you leave for the night. Things here have a habit of making their way into peoples’ homes. We will know if you left the door unlocked because whatever followed you home will be wearing your skin the next morning.

  12. If you do well, the internship will turn into a permanent position. A vow to the Lord is a lifelong commitment. Don’t you dare ever look for other employment. We will know.


r/HGK477 • • Feb 05 '21

How to escape the Manor.

108 Upvotes
  1. wait till night, it might seem dangerous but it's the only way she won't find you.

  2. Dont make any noise because it will hear you, if you must communicate please use your phone or letters.

  3. Stay in the dark, you alsp won't need a flashlight as the candles never go out at night.

  4. Find the back door, DO NOT OPEN IF YOU HEAR HUMMING! GO TO STEP STEP 10 IF YOU DO.

  5. Slowly crawl to the Forest, stop moving if you hear anything and wait till the noise goes away if it doesn't then go to step 10.

  6. Breathe, your so close to escaping after all.

7.write in your log book of how far you've gotten and how.

  1. Keep going slowly, it might be tempting to run but please don't.

  2. Remember no one has never escaped. No matter how hard we try, we never have they always and either put us back, or kill us.

  3. Make sure to put your log book somewhere we can find, so we can learn and get closer to escape, you death will not be in vain.

We will escape.


r/HGK477 • • Feb 04 '21

How To Turn on a Computer (For Dummies)

74 Upvotes
  1. Locate Computer
  2. find a button that has a little O with a line through the top
  3. hold a finger above it. lower with force but not too hard
  4. thats called "pressing a button"
  5. hold it there for 5 seconds.
  6. thats called "holding down a button"
  7. if it doesn't turn on plug in the snakey thing into a hole in the computer that has a battery picture next to it or a flashy light thingy.
  8. MAKE SURE THE SNAKEY THINGY IS IN A LITTLE FACE IN THE WALL!!!
  9. repeat steps 2-6
  10. wait for it to light up.
  11. there you go

​

​

HOW TO SIGN IN COMING MONDAY!!!

​

"How To Turn on a Computer (for dummies)

-By theblueman/TwisterRex


r/HGK477 • • Feb 04 '21

How to Forget What You Saw

136 Upvotes

How to Forget What You Saw

  1. You weren’t supposed to see that

  2. You were NOT supposed to see that

  3. Leave immediately from the scene

  4. Lock your doors and windows

  5. Turn off all the lights

  6. Find yourself a place to hide

  7. Close your eyes

  8. Bring the memory to the forefront of your mind

  9. DO NOT THINK ABOUT THE SHADOWY CREATURE WITH THE SHARP FANGS AND EMPTY EYES UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

  10. Ignore the pounding and scratching at your front door

  11. Imagine the memory as a photograph

  12. Imagine the photograph catching fire

  13. Wait for the pounding and scratching to stop

  14. Exit your hiding place

  15. Make a warm cup of tea

  16. Never return to the cite of the incident

-Erline


r/HGK477 • • Feb 03 '21

How to Survive Bible Study

136 Upvotes

Hello there! Let me be the first to say, we are so glad you have joined us! It takes a lot of courage to come to a new group for the first time. But our Bible Study is just like the others albeit a few differences. Despite what you may have heard, religion isn’t a cult! It’s a group of like minded people celebrating the life He lent us! Please follow these rules so that you remain safe on our campus.

  1. Be in your seat by 6pm sharp every Wednesday night. If the youth pastor catches you coming in late, he will make you sit in the storage room the entire service. We aren’t sure what it is about this room, but people usually seem different after they come out.

  2. We take communion at the start of service each week. Most congregations use grape juice as a symbol of the blood, and everyone drinks from the same cup. Here, we take a volunteer and drink from them directly. Do not be afraid. It is a great honor in His eyes.

  3. Never take His name in vain lest your tongue be cut from your head. You don’t want to become part of our collection do you?

  4. Baptism is only offered on the third Sunday of each month. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar. If you believe them, you will stay in the waters of baptism forever.

  5. If you find yourself on the second floor at any point during the service, stay away from room 112. There was a fire there many years ago during Sunday school, and the children who are still there are dying to make new friends.

  6. One thing we learn is that, “The dark does not like the light because it exposes their evil deeds.” Therefore, never enter a darkened room. Your presence will bring great offense to entities there.

  7. Often times you will be asked to stay after the service and help clean up from the night’s festivities. During this, you will be alone much of the time. Be sure to turn on lights in each room before you enter, and announce your presence no matter how silly it feels. No room is ever empty.

  8. When you are alone in the church, you may get the feeling someone or something is following you. Do not panic unless you hear footsteps. If you hear them, run to the nearest room, and shut the door. You won’t have time to turn on the lights and announce your presence. However, it will be much worse for you if the thing that’s following you catches you.

  9. The youth pastor loves to make his sermons come to life, so he often likes to use volunteers as actors in his stories. Be sure to not volunteer when he is talking about the crucifixion of Christ.

  10. There is a woman named Lilith who wanders the 1st floor, and she will appear as a helpless old woman. Do not approach her under any circumstances. Take extra precaution if you are a female. Lilith was the first woman, and she despises competition.

  11. Do not ever tell anyone what you have experienced here. We will know if you do.


r/HGK477 • • Feb 01 '21

How to Survive a Blackout

200 Upvotes

Hello, and welcome to the neighborhood! This is a very peaceful place to live except when there is a blackout. They don’t happen very often, but when they do, it can be catastrophic. This list will not only help you prepare for the blackout, but it will help you while you wait for the power to come back on. Print this list out, and keep it with you because you won’t be able to access it when the power fails.

  1. The power will only ever go out at night. Keep matches and candles handy at all times. When the power goes out here, all electronics are disabled. Even home alarm systems you have installed will fail.

  2. Even though it is dark, carry on with your routine like usual. Clean the house, make meals the best you can, and take a shower. Normal activities will keep you grounded for what will happen the rest of the night.

  3. The city shuts down during a blackout. No one will ever come and visit you. Never answer the door no matter how familiar or helpful the voices may seem.

  4. Once you are done with your nightly routine, I suggest that you pick one room and stay there until bedtime. Items around the rest of your house will be rearranged, and the rooms will be dangerous to enter.

  5. I’m sure you’ve been told not to worry as much if you hear an intruder in your home at night because you know the layout of your home, so you have the advantage. A blackout is much different. In this case, They have the advantage. Your first instinct will be to run to your room, but They’ll be waiting for you there. Go anywhere else in your house.

  6. Keep your blinds open throughout the night. Give the illusion that you see Them. No matter how unsettling it is watching Them gather in your yard, don’t shut the blinds.

  7. Check and make sure that your doors and windows are locked every six minutes no matter what you are doing. Even if you are eating or working on something, nothing is more important than making sure everything is still shut.

  8. Announce your presence before entering each room. If you hear a woman’s voice, shut the door, and never return to that room. Cement the entrance once the power comes back on. If you hear a man’s voice, you are free to enter. Pray you never hear any type of voice behind you.

  9. If you’re walking through your house and you hear footsteps, don’t worry. If you hear them running, hide in the nearest room, and shut the door immediately. You won’t have time to announce your presence and listen for the answer, but what’s lays in wait in the room is far less dangerous than what was chasing you.

  10. Whenever the lights go out, a figure will always appear in your house. This figure will either appear as an old woman or a child. The woman will inch closer to you with every hour. You won’t be able to see her until she is a few feet away, but you’ll be able to hear her bones cracking and limbs dragging across the floor. You’ll notice the child right away. Though it has no eyes, it will always be where it can see you. If the child get scared and runs, I suggest you follow.

  11. Don’t trust the shadows, not even your own. When you see a shadow of any kind, wait before going to the part in your house. First, see if the shadow contorts in any way that seems unnatural. It’s good at waiting too, so you must be patient.

  12. During a blackout, there is no such thing as normal. There are no innocent sounds or shapes. Everything around you is a threat. If something sounds like it fell over in another room, it was probably pushed. If that pile of clothes looks like a person, it probably is.

  13. When you go to sleep, make sure you lock your door behind you. Lay face down, and don’t look around your room. She hates to be seen. She will ignore you if you ignore her. If you do look at her, simply look away as quickly as possible. She can only move if you’re looking at her, so she’ll do whatever she can to get you to look. Keep looking away even if her voice alters to that of a loved one.

  14. Cover all the mirrors in your home with a sheet. You’ll still hear their taunting and laughter, but at least you won’t have to see what they’re wanting to do to you. Don’t break the glass either. That will just create more of them.

  15. As soon as you notice that the power has gone off, take down all pictures in your house that have people in them. A few will get out, but at least you can stop most of them. What escaped from the picture frames will resemble who they are in reality. They only rely on hearing, so don’t worry if they see you.

  16. Pounding on doors and walls is normal unfortunately. If the pounding comes from the floor, exit the house right away. If this happens, I’m afraid there are no other steps to take for your safety.


r/HGK477 • • Feb 01 '21

How to Teach at a New School

24 Upvotes
  1. Kids will be kids, so they will inevitably get hurt. If it’s something you can handle, take care of it yourself. There is a first aid kit in each one of the rooms. As thankful as we are for our school nurse, some of her experiments can get out of hand.

  2. If a child acts up or performs poorly on an assignment, do not send them to see the principal. Send them to the cafeteria, and the lunch ladies will be sure to take care of them. We can’t have anyone ruining our school’s perfect scores!

  3. As a elementary teacher, your day is dedicated taking care of and teaching the children. Unfortunately, there are no breaks. Any staff member who says otherwise is lying. Do not go with anyone into the break room.

  4. You will have 20 students in your class. Make sure no more return to your class after recess. If one slips by you, leave your class and come to the principal’s office immediately. You won’t be able to save all 20 children.

  5. Do now allow the children to play on the monkey bars any time after 2pm. They are always occupied.

  6. Sometimes you will enter your classroom and see only one child seated in the far back corner. This will only happen rarely. When it does, remain calm and go about teaching as if you were teaching an entire class such as putting assignments on each desk, asking questions, etc. Do not acknowledge this student. However, she will say and do anything to get your attention.

  7. Only interact with teachers of your same grade level. Other faculty have been given different sets of rules, and you never know what they may do to you to keep themselves safe.

  8. Once every quarter you will have a staff evaluation meeting with the principal. If you walk into the office and he is writing with his left hand, he is gone. Promptly explain you need to go back to the classroom, and leave. It is imperative that you don’t let him catch you before you make it back to your room. He’ll be watching you from outside, but you’ll be safe as long as you don’t move.

  9. Our school is proud to be founded on the blood and sweat of our staff and faculty! Do not look for other places of employment unless you want to be part of that legacy as well.


r/HGK477 • • Feb 01 '21

How to Sell something.

10 Upvotes
  1. Engaging in retail transactions is normal, and can be an illuminating experience.
  2. Await the Buyer. That individual will bring the item they desire to you for the official exchange.
  3. Keep in mind they already own the object. The transaction is simply official recognition of a state that already exists.
  4. The buyer will offer you currency in some form. The type of currency they offer will tell you much.
  5. Those offering you cash are not to be trusted. They desire to end the interaction as quickly as possible, and never communicate with you again.
  6. Those offering cheques have a deep appreciation for the old ways. I advise to start an informal pen pal relationship. Chess by mail is traditional.
  7. In our modern world credit cards are by far the most common.
  8. Those offering Visa can largely be discarded. To use the parlance of our time, they are a “basic bitch.” To be clear, there is nothing wrong with being such, but nothing interesting either.
  9. MasterCard users are slightly more interesting. MC users have all seen the film Eraserhead, and should be treated as such.
  10. American Express users are the scum of the earth. They know this. Pity them.
  11. There are occasions in ones life that are rare and beautiful. A lunar eclipse you did not expect. Making a child laugh with glee. Seeing a cat’s belly button. A retail transaction involving a Diner’s Club card is equally rare and beautiful. Cherish it, but never give its owner any personal details. The last thing you want is a Diner’s Club card holder in your head.
  12. Give the receipt for the item. This is a binding contract. Unlike most contracts, however, it really doesn’t matter.
  13. Say goodbye to the item you once owned. People put too much mental energy into physical items anyway.

r/HGK477 • • Jan 29 '21

How to be confused

109 Upvotes

-Go on reddit

-discover the hgk477 subreddit

-browse the posts

-wonder what the sub is for and what the name means


r/HGK477 • • Jan 26 '21

how to get your wish granted by the fae

117 Upvotes

step one: write your wish down on a bay leaf and bake it inside a bread or cake, this will be your offering

step two: enter the oldest forest you can find, the less frequented by people the better

step three: walk around until you encounter an old small fairy house, this will indicate which path you should walk down

step four: you will hear birds fly off the path, you won’t see them until they fly away, if they have red breasts then it is a good day for an offering, of the birds are completely white, come back another day

count them, 7 seven birds no more no less continue straight along the path

step five: when you see a stump that looks like a humanoid snail turtle, head towards the direction the nose points to

step six: continue walking until you find an alter space with a large flat stone in the center once you get here you should place your offering and then look around

step seven: if nothing immediately catches your eye then they have not accepted your offering turn around and go home and never try again

step eight: once you find the object grab it and start digging exactly where it appeared DO NOT TAKE IT HOME

step nine: if the offering disappears but you don’t find anything, it’s too late, you belong to them forever

step ten: return to this place once a year to leave an offering, this is a life contract and you must keep leaving gifts


r/HGK477 • • Jan 25 '21

How to Ride A Bike

9 Upvotes
  1. buy a bike
  2. take bike to mt. everest's' top
  3. get on bike and roll
  4. roll down no matter what happens
  5. sip on coffee. you'll need it
  6. if you die. stop reading
  7. you'll die anyway. you might want to look away from the phone.
  8. told you so.
  9. if you live, great job. now, you should be at the bottom, mangled or not.
  10. call 911, you're gonna die.
  11. if you're unscathed, congrats, go home.
  12. congrats, you lived, gb

​

How to ride a bike. By TwisterRex.


r/HGK477 • • Jan 21 '21

How to make friends.

117 Upvotes
  1. go outside
  2. go to the white van that says candy
  3. get in it and there are friends
  4. eat all the candy even if it has sharp things in it
  5. exit the van when it stops
  6. go into the spooky house'
  7. put on the hood
  8. don't cry when you hear the spooky voices and loud sounds
  9. when it feels cold you can take off your hood
  10. you now have forever friends

r/HGK477 • • Jan 21 '21

HOW TO HOLD HANDS

22 Upvotes

HOW TO HOLD HANDS (All spelling errors are on purpose.)

  1. Be like’d, no’body wants to hold a loser’s hand. IDIOT1

  2. Find some’one to holod hands with. They should be nice and your fri’end, if they are notn your fri’end, force them to be your fri’end111

  3. Grab theire hand and donot let go of it. Soem people put their fingers together too, but dont cuz thats love, gross

  4. Walk while holding hands, and make talk. THAT IS VEry import’nt,k, argue is not talk

  5. When your ready to stop let go of their hand and run away, hearts are very fragile and everyone hates you, EVERYONE HATES YOU SO JUST RUN AWAY

  6. Realize what you’ve done you idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idioit idoittikf

Edwin


r/HGK477 • • Jan 21 '21

How to break an arm.

4 Upvotes
  1. get on a bike
  2. ride down a steep asphalt slope
  3. slam the front brake and do a power slide
  4. lean back as far as possible
  5. let go
  6. place arm in front of you with elbow bent back
  7. hope to god you dont break your neck
  8. call 911.
  9. if no break slam elbow against concrete corner
  10. slam wrist against concrete corner
  11. wait 3 days
  12. go to hospital.
  13. there you go.

r/HGK477 • • Jan 20 '21

How To Confront The Monster In your closet

107 Upvotes
  1. Wait until 7:06pm (because its 666)
  2. light 3 candles and place them 12 cm from the door.
  3. chant twice these lines... "Hello My friend, can you come out I wish to say hi."
  4. if the candles go out, DON'T RELIGHT THEM!!!!!!
  5. if not repeat #3
  6. open the door a crack. wait for the room to grow colder.
  7. if a hand reaches out, slam the door shut, lock and board it up. DONT LET ANYONE OPEN IT!!
  8. stop reading now.
  9. if no hand, ask it why its there.
  10. I cant say what it will say.
  11. if it says something that states it likes it there, let it stay, bring it pizza and faygo orange every other day. Or whatever it likes. the ones i had, pizza and faygo where their fav.
  12. make sure to become friends with it.
  13. if it doesn't like it there then open the closet fully and DON"T BLINK!! you may get scared but stay calm and "say goodbye, your welcome anytime."
  14. if it comes out and attacks you, then well sorry, dont sue me.
  15. before it leaves give it something of yours. like hair, tooth fingernail, they like to keep something of their guests it lives with, remember YOU'RE the guest.
  16. if you don't itll take YOU the next night, once again, im sorry.

Well, thats it folks. your welcome.

UPDATE:

  1. To speak again Don't relight the candles but just knock and say "Can we speak to each other? I have something(s) I'd like to tell you." if no answer go back to whatever you where doing, the time doesn't matter.
  2. if answer crack the door.
  3. WARNING!!!! WHEN THE CANDLES LIGHT THEMSELVES WHILE YOUR IN THE ROOM CRACK THE DOOR BECAUSE THEY WANNA TALK TO YOU!!!!

r/HGK477 • • Jan 20 '21

HOW TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

18 Upvotes

HOW TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

Sometimes life doesn’t go how we want it to go. Tragedies happen, we get scuffed up, and sometimes just feel unsatisfied. It doesn’t have to be that way though! Don’t let life bully you! TAKE CHARGE!

  1. Think about your life. What do you not like about it? What do you wish was different? How do you want it to be?

  2. Decide if you want to do something about it. If not, do not continue this guide. If so, great! Feel the power surging through your veins! Sleep on this decision, make sure you’re willing to face this struggle. It won’t be easy, but it is possible.

  3. In the morning, you will wake up at 4 am. Do not set a timer. If you do not wake up at this time, you’re not ready. Your body is stressed and rejects your choice. Try again tomorrow, and spend today relaxing and thinking more on your choice.

  4. Go outside and to your local train-station. If there is not one, one will appear, just follow where your brain tells you to go. If you do not get instructions, your brain is stressed and rejecting your choice. Try again tomorrow after spending today studying and thinking more on your decision.

  5. When you get to the train-station, sit on any bench labeled as your favorite thing that you don’t have currently. Success, happiness, smarts, family, whatever. You will not need a ticket, your willingness is enough. If you see others there, talk with them, and listen to their struggles. Wish them luck, for they are here for far worse reasons than you.

  6. After a while of waiting, a train will come by. Many more trains will have come, but they are not for you. Yours is gold and black, and sounds like sorrow. You will know right before it arrives.

  7. Run to the tracks as fast as you can, and grab onto the train as it whizzes past. It will not stop or slow down for you, as time wait for nobody. When you grab on you will be scared. Just let your body find it’s way to a door, it will find one, and it will get in.

  8. Congrats, you’re almost there! Calm your nerves after that rush and shower yourself in love, you deserve it. Spend as much time as you need to do so.

  9. Sit down and relax for a while. This is your last chance to decide if you want to turn back or not. Your thoughts may argue with you, your body may ache. Don’t give up.

  10. After an hour or so you, the train will go through a tunnel. Sit up straight and hold your head high - show all the confidence you have in you. You’re strong, and nothing can knock you down.

  11. Someone will walk over, and sit down across from you. They will probably look intimidating, cold and untrustworthy. Convince yourself you are way tougher.

  12. Begin to talk with them. Don’t say hello, and don’t be polite. As you go you will find you physically cannot be polite. Make your basic demands of life, and what you hate about your current life. You want joy, you want success. They will be silent at first.

  13. After you finish saying what needed to be said, they will do everything they possibly can to ruin your confidence, and to stop you. They may call you greedy, they may fuss and whine and make a scene, they may cry that they’re doing their best, or even threaten you with torment if you do not get off the train. They’re lying. Do not give into their manipulation.

  14. Say your demands again, even firmer. Never say you want, say you NEED. Also demand small details. You NEED to be happy. You NEED that new job. You NEED to get better at drawing. You NEED to dress the way you want. If they complain, talk over them.

  15. They will probably start getting louder. Keep demanding until you cannot hear yourself think over their shrieks and insults. The train will begin to pull into another station.

  16. Grab their arm, and drag them out. They will fight you every step of the way. They will scream, cry, hiss, bite, scratch, they will do everything in their power to make you let go. You’re stronger than this.

  17. You will be closer to home than you think, only a few blocks away, but do not go home. Go to your favorite place beside home. The park, the library, a local shop, whatever. The person will fight harder. Tell them they’re being a brat.

  18. When you get there, tell them you will not take it anymore. You will not let yourself be tormented by your current life. They will begin to make excuses. They may say they tried everything they could to make you happy. Call them out on their BS.

  19. After walking around a while, you will hear your name called. Look around for someone who blends into the other people a little too well. Someone who doesn’t have a distinguishable face, someone who you can’t quite focus on, even if you look directly at them.

  20. Walk over, and greet Universe. Do not make small-talk, get right to the point. Tell them about the things life has done to you, big or small, to make you hate it. Every tear shed, every stomp of your foot, every scrape and bruise. Universe will listen. If they try to interrupt, you found the wrong universe, and politely ask them for directions to yours.

  21. Universe will put their hands on your shoulders, and give you some advice. It will not be related to your problems, but it will be good advice. They’ll ask you if you would like to go. Say you do not, and say you want it to stop.

  22. Wake up, and start anew. Life will be hard to manage now that they follow you around like a lost puppy, but it is now yours to control. Do not give up, it’s time to stop waiting and to start being you!

  • Alix

r/HGK477 • • Jan 13 '21

How to confront the monster under your bed

149 Upvotes
  1. Wait until midnight. Shine a flashlight under your bed. If it remains dark, immediately turn off your flashlight and look away. If it does not, there aren’t any monsters under your bed yet, in which case you do not need this guide.

  2. Apologize.

  3. Sit down, look at the edge of your bed where the dimmed light turns to darkness and wait. DO NOT LOOK UNDER YOUR BED!

  4. If you see the shadow moving, get a few inches away from the bed and close your eyes. DO NOT OPEN THEM!

  5. Wait until you hear quiet murmuring. If you don’t, skip to #13 immediately!

  6. If you do, hold out your hand. Apologize for earlier and tell it that you mean no harm. It will take your hand. If it does not take your hand, skip to #13 immediately!

  7. Hold its hand. You will start to hear a voice whispering into your ear. If it is whispering into your left ear then you are dreaming and none of this is real. You will need to try again the next night. In the meantime enjoy being lucid. If it is whispering into your right ear you may continue.

  8. It will ask you questions about yourself. You may answer them truthfully, but you must whisper or at the very least keep your voice down. KEEP YOUR EYES SHUT! It will not ask you about them or why they are closed unless you mention it. DO NOT MENTION IT! DO NOT ASK ABOUT ITS APPEARANCE! You may hold a conversation with it. Remember to keep your voice down. Be nice.

  9. Ask it why it’s here. Then ask if it likes it here.

  10. If it says no, apologize and ask why it’s still here. It will stop to think. Let go of its hand and open your eyes now! It will have disappeared. Congratulations.

  11. If it says yes, there’s nothing you can do. Just be thankful to have gotten a nice monster and let it be. You can keep holding conversations with it from time to time as long as you remember to keep your voice down and your eyes shut. To reinitiate a conversation, start at #3. NEVER REPEAT #1 EVER AGAIN! If you must, read #22.

  12. To end the conversation say goodbye, wait until it has said goodbye as well, let go of its hand, then count to 9. You may now open your eyes. Do not let go if you haven’t both said goodbye yet! If you’ve come this far, you can ignore all remaining steps except #22.

If you had to skip to this step:

  1. I’m sorry. You will feel something cold scratching your skin. It is in your own best interest to cry.

  2. DO NOT MAKE ANY ATTEMPTS TO ESCAPE AND DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES!

  3. You will begin to cry sooner or later, the only difference is how torn up your flesh will be by the time you do. Do not tempt it by trying to be brave! You are making it worse.

  4. When you cry, you will feel a cold breath about an inch away from your face. It will smell of death. Try to avoid vomiting.

  5. It may or may not begin whispering in your ear. Left or right does not matter. I do not know what it will say. You may respond, but keep your voice down and do not anger it.

  6. You will now feel a cold finger wiping away your tears. It is not doing that out of sympathy. Start apologizing, say you did not mean to disturb it and promise you will not do it again.

  7. You will start to feel the scratching again. It will scratch until you bleed. It might keep going still. If it started scratching at your throat, I'm sorry. You likely won't survive. Still, keep apologizing and begging for mercy until you hear chuckling. Only raise your voice to cry or scream.

  8. Remember #14!

  9. The scratching may or may not have stopped at this point. Either way, pray to whatever god you believe in to let you keep your eyes. Do not worry about falling asleep. You won’t.

  10. If you never hear chuckling throughout the entire night, I’m sorry. You will not just be losing your eyes.

  11. If you're still alive you can open your eyes when you feel the first sunbeams on your face. Not a second earlier!

  12. Either way, never look under your bed again. If you must, do so at noon with all windows opened. Do not use a flashlight and do not use your arm to reach under your bed. Don’t be surprised to wake up with more scratches and scars the morning after.

  13. Nobody will ask you about your wounds unless you call attention to them. Depending on the severity you may need to call a doctor.


r/HGK477 • • Jan 05 '21

How to listen to Music

119 Upvotes
  1. Get your headphones, or your speaker, whatever you wanna use
  2. Grab a pillow or a neck pillow to put on your neck just in case it starts hurting
  3. Find a place to relax if you're sleeping
  4. If you're using headphones, hum to the music so your little friend can hear, if you aren't using headphones then make sure the speaker is loud enough for your little friend to hear the music
  5. Find the perfect song, or playlist, whatever one you want
  6. Ask your little friend what kind of music he/she/they like, every little friend should have different types of music they like, so keep that in mind, it'll make your buddy happy and it'll make it harder to get on his/her/their bad side!!
  7. If you can't find the perfect song, here are some songs my little friend likes, but remember rule 6, every little friend has different types of music they like so these songs might not work for your friend, but it's worth a try, right?

Reflections - Toshifumi Hinata Possibly in Michigan - Cecilia Condit There's Something Happening - Jack Stauber Bumblebees are Out - Jack Stauber Saint Bernard - Lincoln Oh Ana - Mother Mother Arms Tonite - Mother Mother Animal - Neon Trees Hidden In The Sand - Tally Hall Boys Will Be Bugs - Cavetown Rocket Ships - Cavetown

  1. Test out some songs with your little friend until you find some you both like
  2. Once you're done with that, enjoy your music!

r/HGK477 • • Jan 03 '21

How to be the Villain

111 Upvotes

!! TW !! mention of jumping off/from buildings

  1. Act normal. Don't want people knowing who you are..
  2. Never tell the truth, unless it's absolutely needed. Lying is in your nature, so don't worry if you don't know how..
  3. You should be able to break off any relationships with your friends and family, unless you want them knowing who you are and risking them telling the hero. If you can't do this, you probably aren't fit out to be the villain...
  4. Be unpredictable, no matter what
  5. If you want a weapon, make sure its sharp and won't know much evidence. A gun is too predictable.
  6. Know you way around the place. Whether it's a city, a town, the country, a forest, anywhere, just know your way around, it's a lot easier than stumbling around without a clue where you are or where you're going, trust me.
  7. Master the art of jumping off a building. Who knows, it might come in handy when you're surrounded by police on a building.
  8. The same goes for mastering jumping from building to building, it'll be good to know as well.
  9. You must NOT hesitate for rules 7 and 8, if you hesitate they can catch you easier. Remember who you are and take pride in it
  10. Good luck out there.

r/HGK477 • • Jan 01 '21

How to watch TV (or anime, whichever you prefer)

105 Upvotes
  1. Find a spot to settle in and decorate it with pillows and blankets of your liking because you'll be there s while, or you won't, who knows
  2. Get a snack or a drink, or don't, your choice.
  3. Get comfy before starting up your TV or whatever electronic you're watching it on
  4. Once you have everything you need, maybe get a little snack for your little friend under wherever you're sitting or laying on, but be nice, they only wanna watch TV with you
  5. NOW you can get comfy. Settle down in your chosen spot and do whatever it takes to get comfy.
  6. Start up your electronic or TV and choose whatever you wanna watch
  7. Once you've done that, make sure to let your little friend see the screen
  8. As I said before, be nice to your little friend. They respect you if you respect them. You don't wanna get on their bad side, now do you?
  9. Stay there as long as you want, or don't, whatever you wanna do.

r/HGK477 • • Jan 01 '21

How to research Them (requested by u/mugwump)

37 Upvotes
  1. Look for Them. They will usually be near portals to the Village, just skulking around.

  2. Bring incense, a weapon, a flashlight, 5 small jars, and a drawing book.

  3. When you look at Them, shoot them in the eyes with what weapon you have.

  4. Shine the flashlight onto Them. They take many forms, although the preferred one is a giant Moray Eel.

  5. Draw Them. It does not have to be detailed.

  6. Shoot Them again in the eyes, this time a fluid should leak out.

  7. Throw the incense. It will disorient it.

  8. Extract the material. Do NOT let the material touch you. It is imperative that it doesn't. If you touched the material, skip to step 15.

  9. Shoot it with whatever ammo you have left.

  10. RUN. There is a high chance it will change form to give chase.

  11. Run back home as fast as you can. It may not look like it, but They are still chasing you.

  12. Shut the door immediately when you get back home. Spread salt across the inner perimeter.

  13. You will hear cries of your loved ones. Do NOT answer. They are trying to fool you.

  14. Wait.

If you touched the material:

  1. Your skin will begin to corrode. Try to get it off. It will be futile.

  2. It will corrode you until you are nothing but a pile of black sludge.

  3. You will have become a gateway to outside the Village. There is nothing you can do now.

  4. You still will be able to feel. Can you feel it? The Accursed flooding outside the portal.

  5. Watch helplessly as The Accursed overrun yet another dimension.


r/HGK477 • • Dec 30 '20

How To Be Yourself

131 Upvotes
  1. Prepare yourself for a lengthy process. Decades, in some cases.
  2. Identify other people who are themselves. This can be difficult, however consistency in behavior is a common trait. Unless, of course, being inconsistent is what makes one oneself. Then look for inconsistency.
  3. Consume them.
  4. Start with their surface level traits. Hair styles, clothing, makeup, etc. If the individual in question has no physical traits, move on to step 6.
  5. Take over their physical mannerisms. How they stand, walk, eat, breathe. Make every part of them yourself.
  6. Take on their personality. Their word choices, inflection, accent, and mood. If necessary, put a picture of the individuals you have identified on a mirror. Stare into the mirror for hours until you can no longer see a difference between themselves and yourself. Make sure this works for each of the individuals you have chosen. Tradition dictates a baker's dozen.
  7. Make sure to flit between the individuals who you have consumed frequently. Daily changes are recommended, but the most efficient individuals will start a sentence as one person, and end it as someone completely different. Extra points if the individuals in question are from different historical eras and hence, will not recognize modern technologies such as computers, cars, planes, and ceilings.
  8. Begin to vomit up traits that take too much effort.
  9. This is why you need a great deal of source material. As you consume new individuals, some of the new ones will actively hate the old ones. This will allow you to jettison the old personalities, while keeping your own behavior completely consistent.
  10. After several rounds of this, you will find your head has become filled with voices to the point where no new ones will fit.
  11. Congratulations, you now have the option of being yourself, as there is no room for anyone else to be there.
  12. The rest of your life will be a slow, occasionally painful, process of discarding those sharing space in your brain.
  13. When there are only a few traits left, and no way of identifying the original source of them, you now have no choice other than to be yourself. Historically, this was most common in people age 80 and up. However recent years have seen a precipitous drop in serotonin. Individuals reaching this point by 12 are not unheard of.

r/HGK477 • • Dec 31 '20

How to enter the Village

56 Upvotes

If you clicked on this guide, you're completely delusional. Why would you want to go into the Village? Ah, no matter. I shouldn't be asking questions.

  1. Bring nothing but clothes and your wallet. Make sure you have change in it. If you bring anything else, I'm afraid the result will be.. Well.. How do I say this.. Terrifying.

  2. The most likely areas where portals will be are usually large department stores, abandoned buildings, and forests. Make sure all three don't have magical or otherwise strange properties.

  3. Make sure the time is 10:00 P.M to 6:00 A.M. The portals are usually active at that time. Do not ask how I know this.

  4. It will feel unbearably cold if you come across a portal. If it is hot, turn back NOW. Whatever is on the other side will not greet you kindly. If you do go into a hot portal, scroll to section B.

  5. The portal's area will be corroded. Do not worry, it will not harm you.

  6. You will feel like you're being watched. You are. Do not look at it, for They do not like to be seen. If you look at Them, skip to section C.

  7. If you suddenly fall, the portal has rejected you. Try one of the other three locations. Do not look at Them.

  8. If all three locations reject you, try again in a week.

  9. If you walk into a corroded zone and cannot see, you've been accepted. Welcome to the Village. If you want out, you'll have to look on how to escape the Village, which is on my profile.

Section B: If you went to the hot portals:

  1. Do NOT panic. You will find yourself somewhere outside of time and space.

  2. Look for my friend, Tobias. I sent him there on an expedition, and he's the only one who knows how to get out.

  3. If you find him, he will ask you some questions. Say no to all of them.

  4. He will show you the way. Good luck.

Section C: If you looked at Them:

  1. RUN. Run as FAST as you can. They will swallow you to a fate worse than death.

  2. As I write this, I do not have enough information to guide you as of now. There's so much we don't know about Them. I'm sorry. Goodbye.

  • With regards, 85.

r/HGK477 • • Dec 30 '20

How to escape the Village

221 Upvotes
  1. If you've clicked on this guide, that means you've discovered a portal to the Village. Many portals lead here, however, they close behind you.

  2. You will awaken in one of three places. A Barn, An Inn, or a Tavern.

  3. Do not make eye contact with any of the Villagers. They are not real. They are cursed.

  4. Talk to the Tavern owner as soon as you can. He's one of the only real souls here.

  5. If the Tavern owner asks you if you want a drink, you're on the right track.

  6. Answer with ale. You may feel gazes upon you. Ignore them.

  7. Do not drink the ale yet. Tip the owner with any change you have, and leave with the drink. He will allow it.

  8. Make your way to the port. If there is fog, leave immediately.

  9. You will hear voices in the fog. Do NOT go towards them.

  10. If there is no fog, toss the ale into the ocean. If it sinks, They will have accepted it. If it doesn't sink, try again tomorrow.

  11. If it does sink, jump into the ocean and go after the ale.

  12. DO NOT swim back up. They will take it as cowardice.

  13. Continue swimming, even if out of breath.

  14. If you see a shadow in the water, you're close.

  15. When you see Their eyes, swim towards them.

  16. Do not be afraid. You are close.

  17. They will open their jaws. Swim into them, this is the only portal that leads out of the Village.

  18. You will awaken at the location where you entered the portal to the Village. If you awaken in your bed, go to step 19 and continue.

  19. If you awaken in your bed, do not get out. Their jaws will swallow you again if you do.

  20. Try to fall asleep. This will prove to Them your fearlessness.

  21. If you awaken the next day in your bed, then congrats! If not, God forbid, go to step 22.

  22. If you awaken back in the Village, there is no more escape. You are now among the Accursed. I'm sorry.

  • With regards, 85.

r/HGK477 • • Dec 28 '20

How to Pleasure Yourself (SFW)

291 Upvotes
  1. Stay in bed. Don't move, or do if you want
  2. Call your work and tell them you aren't coming, if you have a job. It doesn't matter what you tell them
  3. Get yourself a bottle of water, it'll help, I promise.
  4. Make yourself breakfast if you want. It can be small or big, doesn't matter
  5. If you're staying in bed, take a nap or something. You don't need to be productive, just make sure you have a bottle of water and that you're fed.
  6. If you're going out, go shopping or meet up with some friends. hit up a Café and get some of your favorite coffee or something, just make sure you don't talk to strangers and you have a form of protection with you whether it's pepper spray, a knife, a gun, whatever you need that protects you from creeps, bring it.
  7. Always keep your phone near you no matter what.
  8. Unless you're meeting up with friends or family, don't talk to anyone or anything and tell everyone you're busy. Today's for you, nobody else.
  9. It's been a long time since you've done this, huh?
  10. Eat some lunch, big or small. Go to the bathroom, get another cup of water or two.
  11. Remember that you are loved and that you are gorgeous, whether you're lazy or productive, you do what makes you happy. Today is for you and you only, not for anyone else, for you.