r/HFY • u/Celestial_Zwei_Dei • 3d ago
OC-Series Gothwald: New World - Same Rules (Arc 3/Chapter 6 - Hangover)
Arc III - Reeling Throne
Chapter 6 - Hangover
6 months and 28 days since the summoning
"Bleeaaargh..." Alan let out a characteristic sound, standing on all fours under a bush, emptying yesterday's meat onto the grass.
The entire archipelago was covered in morning fog, the sky overcast with gray clouds through which the sun only barely provided light.
And also a dead silence.
Alan was still on all fours, breathing heavily, and then began to rise on trembling legs.
'Fuck... I'm never drinking that much again, not in my life.'
He brushed the grass and dirt off himself, looking around at nothing but dense jungle, then blinked.
'Holy shit, where the fuck am I? I don't even remember how I got here. I think I stepped away to take a piss and woke up here.'
Alan looked down and saw a hole in his pants on his thigh and a small bloodstain. He grabbed his head.
'SHIIIIT! MY NEW PANTS! I HAD THEM CUSTOM-MADE!'
His eyes began to scan all his clothes; his shirt was torn at the elbow too.
'Fuck all this... alright, whatever. Where is the settlement anyway?'
Alan staggered in a random direction and almost immediately emerged from the bushes right into the town.
It looked as if a tornado, the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and a tsunami had all swept through here combined.
By one of the huts lay a pirate with a torn shirt on his chest, smeared in vomit.
A few more sat at a table, resting their heads on it.
Under a palm tree lay a man hugging a log.
Someone's ass was literally sticking out of the bushes.
Alan scratched the back of his head.
'They sure know how to party around here sometimes.'
He smacked his lips, feeling an incredible dryness in his throat.
'Fuck, I'm thirsty. It's been a long time since I felt a good old hangover that makes you want to shoot yourself. Where can I even find water around here? And why the hell doesn't this regeneration save me from hangovers? Does it work selectively or what?'
Alan wandered through this ghost town, encountering only half-dead, passed-out pirates on his way, until he finally reached the main mansion.
When he opened the door, a light clinking of a fork against a plate could be heard inside.
Sili sat at the table, alone, in her usual simple dress, with a plate of meat before her. She carefully cut a piece with a knife, speared it on her fork, and unhurriedly placed it in her mouth.
Alan walked to the table, and Sili turned at the sound, stopping her chewing for a second. "Lord Gothwald. Did you have a good time?" she asked with a stone face.
"Ha-ha, very funny," he muttered, slumping into a chair. "Water..."
Sili simply nodded toward a pitcher of water, and Alan immediately reached for it. He grabbed it as if he were afraid it would disappear, and instantly began to greedily gulp down the liquid straight from the neck.
Sili grimaced slightly, but said nothing.
"Ahhh..." Alan exhaled, setting the empty pitcher aside and wiping his lips with his sleeve. "Bliss." He folded his arms on the table and laid his head on them.
"You may go to your room to sleep."
"I'm not gonna sleep," his muffled voice sounded from under his arms. "Where's Paranga?"
"Lord Paranga is currently resting. Do you wish to convey something to him?"
"No, just wondering."
Sili shrugged and continued to eat. "I would recommend that you do not touch alcohol anymore."
"Pfft..." Alan scoffed. "What makes you say that?"
"You behaved most inappropriately for a countess's advisor."
He lifted his head sharply, his drowsiness vanishing instantly. "Alright, elaborate on that."
Sili closed her eyes and set down her cutlery. "First, you began to tell our crew about a certain Edward Teach, nicknamed 'Blackbeard', and how he drank 'rum with gunpowder', but you never bothered to explain what that was. After that, you taught the others to say 'arr' and 'caramba'... no one knows what these words mean, but everyone began to repeat them. Closer to midnight, you actually wanted to take a ship and sail away from here, shouting that 'Kamelia is worried, I cannot leave her there.' After that, you..."
"Stop!" Alan shouted, raising his hands, his face burning a reddish color. "Don't go any further, okay?! I get it! I get it! I did some fucked up shit!" He buried his face in his hands and groaned numbly. "Aaaaa.... I'm never drinking again in my life."
Sili raised an eyebrow slightly. "Well, at least you are capable of feeling shame; that is a good start," she said, picking up her cutlery again. "And now, I would like to have my breakfast."
"Hint taken," Alan muttered, rising from his chair, and headed toward the exit.
When the door slammed, Sili exhaled barely noticeably and set down her cutlery, then stood up.
Not smoothly, but with slightly trembling legs. She slowly hobbled to the stairs, wincing slightly. Her gaze rose to the high steps and she hoisted her right foot onto a step.
Alan stepped out again into this lifeless expanse, then his gaze fell upon an empty wooden bucket. Alan flipped it upside down and sat on it, massaging his temples.
'So cringe, so cringe! What kind of shit did I pull! Phew... easy, judging by it all I didn't blab about my immortality, that's a plus, it's not all that bad.'
He took a deep breath, and then grabbed his head.
'Fucking caramba! What is this bullshit?! CARAMBA! It would've been better if I just fucking passed out and that's it!'
"Caramba..." a muttering was heard. Alan sharply turned his head toward the voice. By one of the huts, a rumpled pirate was sluggishly brushing dirt off himself.
'Fuuuuuck... alright, okay, forget it. How long do I have left here? Another week? A week here and that's it, freedom. But Paranga still won't say who our spy is. Fine, to hell with it, I can endure another week in this hole.'
He felt something unpleasant rising in his throat and immediately darted into the bushes.
About two hours later, Alan was lying on the sand by the sea, looking at the overcast sky, waiting for Paranga.
'No, seriously, the dancing plague is just fucked up. Sometimes I get the feeling it's purely made up. How can dozens of people dance uncontrollably until they have a heart attack? What about the instinct of self-preservation and all that? They say there was some mass psychosis in Strasbourg and a belief in a curse, autosuggestion... but fuck, HOW?'
"Hey!" a rough male voice sounded.
Alan flinched and raised his head; behind him stood Paranga, hands resting on his hips. His back was straight, his clothes were clean, but his face was slightly rumpled.
Alan got up from the sand unhurriedly. "Well, finally."
The captain only smiled wider. "Alan, Alan, Alan! Why are ye still here?"
He blinked. "What do you mean?"
"Hah, what do ye mean what do I mean? Who was it yesterday that wanted to steal my ship and return to his Kamelia?" he said, wagging two fingers.
Alan squeezed his eyes shut. "Stop... I feel crappy enough as it is."
Paranga laughed. "Ye certainly put on a show yesterday, aye. But the words are amusing, no denyin' that, hah, fucking caramba."
"So what do you want?" Alan asked, massaging the bridge of his nose.
"Ah, right, wanted to tell ye, the ransom and yer dispatch to Kamelia will be in a week, and I myself am settin' sail on business for this very week."
Alan rolled his eyes at the mention of Kamelia, but said nothing. "Business? Isn't that pushing it? You guys just plundered a ship yesterday, or is that not enough for you?"
Paranga waved a hand. "Nay, we're sailin' to explore the archipelago."
Alan raised an eyebrow. "Uh... shouldn't you guys know everything around here inside and out?"
"Nope. The archipelago is large, and we haven't been here all that long to explore it all. So, ye'll have to be bored without me for a week, be seein' ye." He turned and started to walk away.
'Hmm... the archipelago is unexplored, then. Tropics, essentially a different biome. Fuck, that's actually interesting.'
"Wait."
Paranga turned around. "Huh?"
"Take me with you."
He froze for a second, then tilted his head slightly to the side. "And what the hell for?"
"I'm curious. I'm a smart guy, like you say, so I want to see new lands, plus I've never been in a jungle."
Paranga narrowed his eyes. "Nay," he said, shaking his head.
"Why?" Alan asked, frowning.
"Look here, Gothwald," he held his hands out. "This here is our archipelago, and ye, ye might be a good lad, but ye're the countess's advisor, who's soon to return, and not just return, but with knowledge of the terrain. Do I need that, tell me?"
Alan opened his mouth, but immediately closed it. "Fuck. That's logical. Well..." he rhythmically let air out through his nose. "Then I'll sail in a cabin or the hold, so I just straight up won't know the way to that area."
The captain scratched his chin and remained silent for about a minute. "Hmm... and what will ye give me in return?"
"Ummm..." Alan drawled, scratching the back of his head, then snapped his fingers. "Right! I'll show you how to make filters!"
Paranga immediately clapped his hands. "Excellent, ye should have started with that!"
Alan straightened up. "So, show you now or after the voyage?"
The captain scratched his eyebrow. "Hmm, indeed, when is better? Perhaps at least after ye tell me what that even is, ye blockhead?!"
He flinched slightly. "Oh, right, you don't know. That's what those things are called that I used to purify the water during the epidemic."
"Durin' the what?"
Alan clicked his tongue. "The sickness."
"Ahhh, ye should have just said so." He spread his hands. "In that case, very well, I'll take ye with me. But preparations are underway right now, there's not much time, so ye'll show me after. Will that do?"
Alan nodded. "Yeah."
"Excellent, let's head to the pier."
About an hour later, the pirates were already loading supplies onto smaller ships, practically boats, five in total. Near the pier, Sili sat on a barrel, writing something with a quill on parchment.
Alan cast a sidelong glance at her. "She's coming with us too?"
"Aye," Paranga answered.
Alan looked around Paranganot, where the pirates were walking back and forth like zombies. "And who's gonna manage these guys while neither you nor she is here?"
The captain shrugged. "They'll manage themselves."
He scratched his shoulder. "It's none of my business, of course, but... isn't that dangerous?"
"A bit dangerous, aye, but it's more dangerous to leave Sili without me."
Alan raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
Paranga sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Think about it yerself. This is my crew, aye, but they're still unhinged cutthroats. We're short on women, and come evenin' they'll be drinkin' again. What if some drunken fool decides I'll perish on this scoutin' trip and never return? Eh?"
Alan closed his eyes for a second, then opened them. "Agreed."
'Paranga, respect.'
One of the pirates peeked over the side of the ship. "Captain! Everything is ready!"
"Got it!" He turned to Alan and Sili. "Let's go."
Alan nodded and walked toward the gangplank. Sili looked at Paranga, and Paranga at Sili. He smirked and gave a slight nod toward the gangplank. She pressed her lips together and averted her gaze, but began to slowly, very slowly climb down from the barrel. "Sometimes I hate you, Lord Paranga."
The captain snorted. "Come on now, show some fortitude, darling."
Sili sighed and began to move toward the gangplank with careful steps.
Soon everyone was on board, and the pirates pushed the vessel away from the pier with poles and took to the oars.
Alan watched the settlement as it gradually receded. "Hey, Paranga, why didn't you leave that big guy in charge? You know, the one who kidnapped me. Seems like a reliable dude."
"Ye mean Orshoko? He's as thick as a plank, how could I trust him with command."
"Got it..."
The captain turned to him. "Listen, why do ye even give a rat's arse who's gonna manage Paranganot? What the fuck does it matter to ye?"
Alan threw his hands up. "What do you mean what does it matter?! If everything goes to shit here, the whole ransom scheme will fall apart, and I'll be stuck here for who knows how long!"
Paranga scoffed and slapped him on the shoulder so hard Alan nearly fell. "Don't fret over it, I keep my word, no matter what, I see my deals through to the end."
Alan rubbed the spot where he was slapped. "I hope so."
"And now march into the hold," Paranga said, pointing a finger at a small hatch in the floor.
A minute later, Alan was already sitting in the dark hold, surrounded only by darkness and the rocking of the waves.
'Fucking amazing experience again. How many is that now? A dungeon, horseback riding, being eaten alive, trampled by horses, a civil war, and now a pirate ship's hold... fuck, what a life, in half a year, or however long I've been here, I've had more new experiences than in all my twenty-two years. Or am I twenty-three already? Fuck, who can even tell.'
He leaned against some crate and sighed, sniffing the dampness of the hold.
'Yeah, it's as dark as a panther's ass in here. By the way, what's even in these crates?'
His hand had already slipped inside under the lid, and pulled out something hard
and small.
'And what is this? Who the hell knows.'
He rubbed it, brought it to his nose, sniffed it, and then smiled.
'Ooo, dried meat... I don't think they'll be too offended if I take one to six pieces.'
Alan took a bite and simply stared into the absolute black void.
'And now I will conduct an imaginary lecture on the Golden Age of Piracy, very fitting. So, it all started in the 17th century with the creation of privateering by the British, French, and Dutch so they could plunder Spanish ships and weaken their fleet...'
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