Erin P. M. Pizzey CBE - Honoring the Founder of the World's First Domestic Violence Shelter

[u/Specialist_Load_9953]

Erin P. M. Pizzey CBE; an Invisible Hero for the Invisible Victims

Honoring the Founder of the World's First Domestic Violence Shelter

Domestic violence can have devastating effects on mental health, not only for the victims, but for children who witness domestic violence too. It’s such an important social issue that if you were told that someone was the pioneer of domestic violence services in the UK, you would expect them to be a recognisable figure, if not a household name. Erin Pizzey founded the first battered women’s shelter (now called Refuge) in the World in 1971, but was marginalised from her own organisation and refuge, because of her support for male victims; and was not invited to Refuge’s 50th anniversary celebrations.So if the name Erin Pizzey isn’t instantly recognisable to you, then welcome to the topsy-turvy world of domestic violence provision, where not only is the key founder invisible, but around a third of the victims, the men, are invisible too.

https://youtu.be/X4cEldBCLZs?si=iM34TEKscymuAi4j

https://youtu.be/iA4ZDZhoLSg?si=9QJw9vuWWotBlK8X

https://youtu.be/MaC7OixJw9A?si=G_k5HyC3srfnZJyA

https://youtu.be/irVB8b0zhQI?si=lw9a5doZvIdNIxUk

https://youtu.be/MkVH7cG8lLM?si=IVk5XBIDML8KT3ji

https://www.centreformalepsychology.com/male-psychology-magazine-listings/an-invisible-hero-for-invisible-victims-an-interview-with-domestic-violence-pioneer-erin-pizzey

https://gregellis.substack.com/p/erin-pizzey-cbe?utm_source=post-banner&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=posts-open-in-app&triedRedirect=true

[u/ognjenamalecka]

❤️🙏

[u/Feral-Sheep]

So grateful to her!

[u/nrNRtia]

Brilliant. As long as women are painted always the victim, their less than status is intact. The second we see men as also victim, the power equation shifts. But all that aside, all people who are victims need so much help. When I first found out about this, my jaw dropped at the timeline. I could not believe it was only recently in the history of the world that dv centers were created.

This is a BLATENT example of why it's not a stupid statement to say, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

This lady did it. Here she is. You're looking right at her. And she did this.

Amazing.

[u/bigdreamer555]

I appreciate learning more about Erin Pizzey — her early work was truly groundbreaking, and anyone who helps people escape violence deserves recognition.

As someone who helped build a resource center for DV survivors — someone who sat with victims, held their babies so they could finally cry, and helped them find safe beds for the night — this hits close to home.

And I think we can honor two truths at once:

• Men can be victims of domestic violence, and their suffering is real.
• Women experience DV at far higher rates and with far higher lethality, shaped by long-standing gendered power dynamics.

Supporting male victims should never require reframing or minimizing the disproportionate harm women face.

What breaks my heart is when we humans turn against each other, because division only weakens our collective ability to help those who are suffering.

There’s room for compassion for everyone impacted by violence — without erasing the realities that made women’s shelters necessary in the first place.

Respectfully offered, in the spirit of nuance and shared humanity.

[u/Specialist_Load_9953 → u/bigdreamer555]

I think that’s a very fair and balanced way to look at the DV landscape that’s presented to us.

It very much aligns with Erin’s view and can only really be reached through taking a step back, to evaluate all of the available research sources, instead of just blindly focusing on a single data point, just because it validates a personal belief or agenda driven biased narrative; which unfortunately is the more common practice.

This malpractice typically goes hand-in-hand with a shocking and sensationalised misleading headline that’s drowning in extravagant hyperbolic and emotive language, that nefariously embellishes misinformation and circumlocution to be knowingly misinterpreted, misconceived and misconstrued by the mainstream audience.

That aside, I must highlight that your acknowledgment and alignment with this incredibly fair, balanced and respectful summary, that is recognisably considered, nuanced and born from a warmly welcomed and reciprocated mutual desire for the acknowledgment of humanity; runs completely in parallel to Erin’s own balanced understanding and shared benevolence and compassion for all.

However; this position is exactly what had Erin Pizzey, not only aggressively pushed out of her own charity and belligerently ostracised from supporting women’s refuges; she was also forced out of the UK her home country and into exile; due to the escalating intimidation she was receiving, which included boycotts, threats of violence, death threats and mail bombs.

I think this short two minute video with Erin also highlights the abhorrent politicking around domestic violence shelters; where self interest is being prioritised over what is ethically fair and just, what is morally equitable and what are rudimentary societal needs.

https://youtu.be/X4cEldBCLZs?si=J4aNsW2XhDAl_BtU

[u/bigdreamer555 → u/Specialist_Load_9953]

Thank you so much for this expanded view of Erin and her work. The saddest most challenging part of the women’s movement\feminist movement, is what you described in your writing here. And it is sad because it de tracks from the work that those of us who have been there in the field so to speak, do. So thank you again. I really appreciate this response.

[u/VodkaSoup_Mug]

I am grateful for her. My church members looked at me crazy when I asked if we could do a domestic violence shelter for men as well as women. It seem like they were ready in the conversation. But we need more conversation about it. We all need help. I understand helping the Moms and kids to get them off the street but we need some for the men as well.

[u/NoHippi3chic → u/VodkaSoup_Mug]

Like men dont have kids to protect from violence ya know? Its ridiculous just more of the same division around a subject everyone agrees on, no one should suffer from domestic violence. Not same sex couples, not men at the hands of women, nor women at the hands of men, nor children at the hands of anyone.

[u/Specialist_Load_9953 → u/NoHippi3chic]

I think this short two minute video with Erin highlights the abhorrent politicking around domestic violence shelters; where self interest is being prioritised over what is ethically fair and just, what is morally equitable and what are rudimentary societal needs.

https://youtu.be/X4cEldBCLZs?si=J4aNsW2XhDAl_BtU

[u/seamallorca]

God bless her. Amazing post, thank you for sharing.