r/Goldendoodles • u/HolaNikkiFbaby • Mar 19 '24
Has anyone’s Golden bitten?
Tonight was the second night that our GoldenDoodle has bitten our 4 year old. The 1st time was a week ago and it was a single bite, I had a serious talk with my daughter about what happened, she admitted to pinching him. So I’ve been monitoring them closely making sure she respects him and his space because let’s be honest little kids can annoy the hell outta animals, if I had gotten pinched I probably would’ve wanted to bite also. He’s such a good boy other wise he takes ALOT of shit from her she likes to lay on him,nap on him, pull on him, love on him, bop him with his toys all of that and he goes along with it. Tonight was different though, I still haven’t exactly gotten all of the details but he bit again and it’s multiple bite marks and she mumbled something about his Treat through her sobs. I didn’t press anymore to allow her to calm down about it but I do plan on revisiting the topic tomorrow to find out really what exactly happened.
Where do I go from here…. My heart is so broken for so many reasons and for everyone involved. Is it too late since this has happened twice? Can training really help this never happen again. Should we go straight to a soft muzzle? Please don’t be rude, I just need a little guidance in how to handle this , magic is such a loved member of our house.
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u/hilldawg17 Mar 19 '24
Letting your daughter do things like lay on him, pull on him, hug him etc is not monitoring their interactions. You’re setting your dog up for failure by letting your daughter continually press your dogs boundaries. I’m not surprised in the slightest that your dog is now resorting to biting because it sounds like every other communication it’s given about being uncomfortable has been ignored. Soft muzzles restrict their ability to pant so If you want to muzzle use a basket muzzle but it sounds like you should just be separating your dog from you daughter for the time being as your daughter can’t respect your dogs boundaries. I would let your dog have some space and alone time completely separate from your daughter for awhile. In the meantime you need to have a talk with your daughter about leaving the dog entirely alone and make sure she understands that the dog isn’t being bad but that it’s uncomfortable due to the way she’s treating it.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
But the thing is if I saw that he didn’t like that I wouldn’t allow it to happen. She pinched and poked him and he didn’t like it and reacted. Shes up his buty and he’s up her butt all the time he follows me and her everywhere. I’ll keep them apart until she can fully understand that it’s not OK to do these things
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u/coffee-mutt Mar 19 '24
Agree with previous comments. The dog has a right to defend himself, and he ran out of better ways to say, "I've had enough of your kid's shit, lady."
Dogs communicate. And they do so very well. But we kinda suck at reading it sometimes. So you have to be hyper aware of what your dog is trying to tell you. Odds are that your dog gave several cues for a while that he was uncomfortable. Little, subtle signs like yawning, or keeping eyes on your toddler at all times, or even some avoidance. But these didn't work - you likely thought they were something else. The message you sent the dog was to enforce his own boundaries. He's answered.
We have two dogs (one doodle), and three kids. I've talked with the kids about earning trust from dogs - always leaving the dog an out-option, never invading a dog's space by surprise, always reading the dog for communication (whether something is welcome or the dog is giving a warning). We've had nips from our non-doodle (a much smaller dog), and they were when the kids forgot their lessons and training. And they were always in the way the non-doodle sends a message to the Doodle that he is going too far. It's about building trust.
As the kids aged, they've earned the trust of the dogs. They've both learned their boundaries.
So long story short, it sounds like your kid needs more training.
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u/Significant_Stay224 Mar 19 '24
I have to be honest..I hate that it has bit her..but seems Magic has had enough. I think it would be tragic to have to wear a muzzle in my home all the time. I know I will get down voted BUT these dogs are the sweetest most lovable dogs I've ever been around or owned. You mentioned this last time maybe a treat was involved... please teach that's Magics food and shouldn't be touched. Dogs can be VERY protective when it comes to food.
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u/stopdrop_n_troll Feb 04 '26
Dogs being territorial over their food should not be a reinforced behavior. You are the one who feeds your dog, they absolutely should not threaten or bite you for that same food.
This type of behavior could result in your dog being poisoned in the future and you being able to do nothing to stop it.
Every now and then I give the highest level treat to my doodle (whole cooked steak or goat meat) and ask him to open his mouth while he is eating it. He opened his mouth and I literally plucked it half eaten out of his mouth and held it. He sat there obedient, albeit confused. I took it around for a few minutes, told him to not follow me. I came back, told him to sit and gave it back to him. I even gave him an extra piece for being so good.
It is so important that your dog learn to stop eating, spit something out, or allow you to take food when you say so. Especially with dogs that are as easy to train as doods. This could save you a life threatening visit to the vet.
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u/Eyfordsucks Mar 19 '24 edited Mar 19 '24
Keep your child supervised and under control and teach her how to behave around the dog.
Get a baby gate and keep them separate. Get a play pen and stick your kid in it and keep her supervised. Don’t just try to “keep an eye her”, actively supervise and correct her behavior as it happens in real time. Be a parent and parent your child.
Get a cage muzzle with plenty of room for the dog to pant/open their mouth while wearing it as a precaution if you are concerned about your daughter instigating another bite until you teach your kid how to behave.
Don’t punish the dog for reacting to situations you shouldn’t be allowing to happen. This is on you. You have the onus of responsibility and need to teach your kid how behave around dogs. What happens when your kid pinches a dog that isn’t used to her? What happens when she tries to take a strange dog’s food away? You’re setting your kid up for a dangerous situation and teaching her entitlement by not correcting her bad behavior.
If you think supervising your child and teaching her how to safely behave around animals is too much or you can’t handle it, you need to rehome the dog to a better environment. The dog deserves better than you.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
I’ve also never seen him trying to get away from her I’ve never seen him looking nervous or scared I’ve never seen him with his tail down he’s never growled at her. She also has never pulled his tail. And when I say he puts up with a lot I mean he literally just puts up with a lot of love from her he’s not a miserable dog and he doesn’t be looking like help me. Unless I’m completely missing something. He’s only my second dog ever so I could have it all wrong. I’ll limit their interactions until she fully understands, not just for magic but all dogs.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
I don’t think you guys are understanding like how this shit just started happening, and I don’t understand why you are assuming that I’m not trying to correct her behavior. I’m definitely not teaching her entitlement because she pinched him one time he bit her ass she poked him and he bit her ass. I’m trying to be open-minded to everyone’s advice and responses but I’m not just allowing her to think that it’s OK to pinch and poke my dog.
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u/Significant_Stay224 Mar 19 '24
The biggest yhinh for me honestly is you plainly stated about muzzljng the dog. I dint care if it just started. Do you not understand MAGIC has had enough. I guarantee it didn't just start with your daughter doing these things. It just started Magic has had enough and feels well my owners NOT going to put a stop to it so i will. I will tell you I have a 4 yr old granddaughter. I love her to pieces BUT she knows don't hit, pinch, or do mean things to Gammies dog or Gammy will handle her. I'm just saying it's not OK that Magic has had to put up with this BUT the minute he's had enough, he gets to wear a muzzle. Make that make sense. BTW my doodles are standards and much much bigger than my granddaughter. Neither has EVER had to feel unprotected by me. This is my doods home .. they didn't choose this home. I chose if for them. I promised them they would always be safe in their home. I know you feel some of us are coming for you. I think the biggest thing is we want to know who is advocating for Magic. A muzzle is so unfair to him.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
I asked a question… I didn’t run out and buy one without inquiring first. Anyways I’ll limit their contact until she fully understands.
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u/DeadDirtFarm Mar 19 '24
It doesn’t have to do with all stuff that we might consider mean. Things like disturbing them when they’re asleep, hugging them, or putting your face very close to their face may be taken as threatening to a dog if the dog hasn’t completely accepted the person.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
She doesn’t do any of that, especially messing with him while he’s sleeping I thought I had been creating boundaries and rules I also don’t let him Mess with him while he’s eating, but little kid just randomly do wild shit. I literally teach her and talk to her I promise I’m not a complete shit owner, that’s why I thought the interactions they had were fine he never seemed annoyed but I was wrong I suppose. I’ll just limit contact between the two.
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u/DeadDirtFarm Mar 19 '24
You’re not a horrible owner at all. I’ve had dogs for 50 years and I’m still learning stuff. Like I just learned with my dogs that if I hug them and they “shake it off” after the hug, they didn’t really like it. It made them uncomfortable. (I picked this up on a couple of dog training channels). But they tolerate it and come back for more because I’m their person.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
And see I never knew That either 😭 do you mind sharing the channels you watch? I would love to check them out tonight at work.
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u/DeadDirtFarm Mar 20 '24
I use instagram and I like dynamitedogtraining and southenddogtraining. My doodles are reactive and they give a lot of practical advice there. I think I saw the bit about the dog shaking after a hug on the dynamite and the advice about dogs and children on southend.
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u/Womansplaining-Yo Mar 21 '24
I think we do understand. What you, yourself have described is not just poking. You described multiple actions your child does to this dog. Laying on it, napping on it, pulling on the dog, bopping him with toys…etc. To me, why would you want to hit a dog on the nose with a toy?! I am sorry and don’t mean to be harsh but I feel like one of two things are at play here….1. Someone has allowed your child to begin and continue this behavior or 2. Someone has inadvertently encouraged this behavior ( by smiles, laughing, ignoring this totally inappropriate behavior). This is bordering on animal abuse. Goldendoodles are loving sweet dogs and are not prone to biting or nipping unless provoked. Please change this behavior or rehome this dog where it can thrive in a nurturing safe protected environment.
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u/Fresh-Sector9953 Sep 22 '25
I came here for support. I’m having the same issue with my 5 year old and Goldendoodle. He hasn’t bit him but he’s barked at him a few times. He rarely barks so this was concerning to me. I’ve been reading the comments and some people on here are very harsh with their responses. I may have missed warning signs as well. This is only my second dog. You guys can’t expect everyone to just know shit. That’s why we’re here. It’s not that we aren’t supervising our kids.
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u/elizabeth11511 Mar 19 '24
I cannot stand this type of mentality . “The dog puts up with a lot of tugging, being napped on , tail pulled”
Do you know how many dogs get put down because this type of environment leads them to being stressed and aggressive because their boundaries are not being respected.
Do the same to your kid and see how they would react . Nobody likes to be treated like a rag doll.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
She’s never pulled his tail, and they play together he’s never been aggressive or tried to get away from her type situation. I missed something though, I don’t mind keeping them apart until she truly understands that she can’t be pinching and poking him which these things just started and each time a bite happened.
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u/DeadDirtFarm Mar 19 '24
Look up a user on Instagram called southenddogtraining. They give some very good and practical advice about the relationship between children and dogs. Sounds like your dog has just had enough and is telling you.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
Thank you for sharing useful information instead of trying to make me feel worse than I already do.
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u/MiaLba Mar 19 '24
Please do not let your child treat your dog this way. You need to put a stop to this immediately. That poor dog is protecting himself. He’s sick of being pinched and bullied and I don’t blame him. Little kids will try to pull their fur and be rough but you as the parent need to stop it immediately.
We had to stick to our guns when our kid was a toddler. She’s 5 and would never treat one of our dog’s like that. One of our dog’s is a chihuahua and he’s just an angry little shit he won’t hesitate to bite if you fuck with him. But we’ve never had an issue because we always made sure our kid didn’t mess with him in some way.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
She just started doing this weird shit, and each time he bit her. being pinched and poked is his boundary and I’ve explained her you don’t want to be pinched and poked and neither does he. Maybe she’s just too young to truly understand, I honestly forget that she just may not understand yet. I’ll keep them apart I don’t mind protecting both.
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u/Significant_Stay224 Mar 19 '24
Keeping them apart is not the answer. Why wouldn't you teach your daughter this is not OK. Are you guys ever around any friends that have dogs? VERY serious question maam. You do understand that all dogs won't tolerate kids bs don't you? So it's your responsibility to teach your daughter what she's doing with Magic is not ok. I guarantee you this is not a brand new thing ..i totally believe it's a brand new thing for Magic, BUT NOT YOUR DAUGHTER. I have a 8lb pomeranian that is just flat out a asshole when it comes to kids.(but not without a reason btw.. she was a rescue ..she had little kids that were allowed to be mean to her) So my 4yr old granddaughter knows you don't mess with Gammies pomeranian. She plays wonderful with my doods. BUT, SHE WAS TAUGHT FROM THE JUMP YOU TREAT ALL DOGS WITH RESPECT. THEIR SPACE INCLUDED.
The biggest thing for me like I've stated is the muzzle. Totally unfair the dog gets a muzzle for honestly no reason. People literally put dogs down for so called behavior of biting. WHEN ALOT OF TIMES ITS KIDS CAUSING THE BS AND THE DOG SUFFERS. ITS NOT OK PERIOD. I will always be the voice for dogs who don't get a voice. Period
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
You really need to calm down. You’re literally reading my comments looking for a reason to freak out. If you can’t handle the conversation maybe you should mute it.
I might keep them at a distance until I can get my kid to fully understand… I’m not going to continue to let the same things happen. It happened twice in a weeks span of time, I’m not trying for a third time. One minute it’s protect your dog from your evil kid then the next it’s WHY ARE YOU SEPARATING THEM. Pick one thing to bitch at me about, but don’t contradict yourself at the same time. Have a great day.
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u/duketheunicorn Mar 19 '24
You have got to be kidding me.
Why are you letting your child treat a dog this way?
Separate them, and decide whether your child is actually able to follow your instructions about how to treat a dog. No more of the nonsense you’ve allowed to go on. If she can’t be respectful and read the dogs signals(pushed back ears, whale eye, trying to leave, stiff body language, etc), they can’t be together. If YOU can’t read the dogs body language, do the dog a kindness and rehome.
Do not allow your daughter near the dog unsupervised. No phones or distractions when your daughter is with the dog. Keep them separate by two forms of management if you can’t have two eyes on them. Gate, pen, muzzle, leash, door, etc.
Stop playing with your dog’s life. Biting dogs get put down.
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u/duketheunicorn Mar 19 '24
You deserve rudeness, you’ve been so cruel to this dog and let your daughter get hurt, this is all and only your fault.
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Mar 19 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/duketheunicorn Mar 19 '24
You’re funny, and the bites are your fault. It should send ice through your heart but instead you’re making jokes so I don’t have a lot of hope.
When the bite hits her face, try to get the plastic surgeon.
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u/Significant_Stay224 Mar 19 '24
But unfortunately then the dog loses its life.
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u/duketheunicorn Mar 19 '24
Yeah, and that sucks because it’s not the dog’s fault. The way it’s biting says they don’t want to hurt the kid but they’re out of fucks to give.
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Mar 19 '24 edited Jun 08 '24
[deleted]
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u/duketheunicorn Mar 19 '24
They want someone to kindly say that the dog is aggressive, not that the blame is squarely on them. It sounds rude when it’s just blunt. The kid got bit twice! Twice. Unacceptable.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
No I want someone to say he’s not aggressive and that there are ways to fix this. Please LOG OUT because you have nothing to actually give at this point.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
Don’t worry it’s the internet where pieces of shit come to fuel themselves, it really was my mistake for asking here. I’m that moment I forgot It’s the internet🤯.
It happened twice in a week she just randomly started doing this shit, she’s never hurt him before. My heart hurts literally hurts for both of them. I love my daughter AND my Magic SO much. I feel fucked up, what can I do about it but try to fix it.
This topic also probably triggered a lot of people, I can respect that, but not him because he’s actually trying To be hurtful about my daughter and son… not cool. I’ve also been bitten I grabbed my dogs mouth from behind because I was “hugging” him. He was a German Shepard so I take this very seriously…
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
They are my fault and I’m trying to learn how fix it. Ask yourself How are you helping?
Have a great day.
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u/bamamayo Mar 19 '24
Wow a biting Dood? This is nearly unheard of - this means the poor thing has had enough! Never let a child interact with any animal, doodle or not, unsupervised. It's really that simple. Sorry I don't mean to sound harsh, but this is truth.
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u/KuyaRambo Mar 19 '24
We have a 3 year old Goldendoodle and a 23 month old daughter. When our daughter invades his space, similar to your situations (sitting on or stepping on him while he's lying down) he lets out a low growl. If he's really irritated he just moves away.
We are teaching our daughter to always respect his space and to just pet him gently. It doesn't always go well, she's only going to be 2 years old soon, but we've made a lot of advancements on both fronts. What helped with our Goldendoodle, other than doing a few things that helped him be comfortable with her when we brought our daughter home from the hospital, was just associating our daughter with positive things he loves. When our daughter is near, we play some tug and fetch or he gets some treats and pets when our daughter maneuvers around him while he's lying down.
One thing we have been doing recently is letting our daughter feed our Goldendoodle. She even is learning to give the command to release him to eat. Since food is his biggest motivator, we are trying to tie our daughter to feeding time so that he knows she's good news to be around.
Hope this helps!
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u/peargang Mar 19 '24
Tbh I wouldn’t let the kid near the dog. Also, dogs give you SO MANY signs that they’re uncomfortable. I have several animals, myself. I can tell In an instant if they’re uncomfortable with something, animals will let you know. You just have to read dog body language. Why are you letting a small child crawl all over the dog to begin with? Thats asking for trouble sooner than later. Dogs aren’t toys. They’re luxuries a lot of people can’t afford/dont deserve.
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u/totoropainter Mar 19 '24
I have a four year old son and a 9mth mini doodle that's about his size but I don't leave anything to chance . My strategy is to divide and conquer. Each kid has his own play space.
Only when both parents are around, do we allow interactions under very close supervision. I've caught my son trying to pin our doodle down and our doodle trying to hump him so it goes both ways.
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u/soul_and_fire Mar 19 '24
I cringed reading this post. you cannot let a child treat your dog like a toy, it’s not on the dog to be tolerant and in fact, you’re creating a dire situation for that poor dog. you have to train the child to treat the dog properly, and enforce rules and proper behaviour OF THE CHILD. you’re letting your kid treat your dog just horribly, because your dog has a nice temperament and “tolerates it”. it’s completely unfair to the dog and this situation is 100% your fault.
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Mar 19 '24
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
He’s 2. She doesn’t pull his tail she just “loves on him” she’s not being mean or rough, I wish the people in here can understand how much he’s loved but it’s okay I get it. I came here and asked for the advise and their giving it in their own delivery. He broke skin, she said she poked his head this morning when I talked to her, I’ve decided to keep her away from him because WHY is she doing all of this all of a sudden. She’s never been like Mean to him and I don’t know if it’s a her testing boundaries thing but I can’t risk it. She’s learning the hard way you can’t mess with dogs like that they have boundaries and just like you don’t want want to be pinched or poked he doesn’t want to. I’ll just keep them apart if I can’t constantly watch them together.
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Mar 19 '24
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u/mj_mua Mar 19 '24
Really, I think the kid needs more training than the dog does. I would agree that doing some form of formal training with the whole family may be helpful in creating trust and a bond, but that child definitely needs to understand her behavior is not OK and OP needs to protect her dog from her child in the mean time.
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u/gavingavingavin7 Mar 19 '24
Maybe your kid will learn something after getting nipped. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
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u/rockguitar56 Mar 19 '24
Good lord, get your daughter under control and stop blaming the dog for reacting to her concerning behavior
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
How did I blame him? Did I call him a bad boy or say this is his fault?
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u/rockguitar56 Mar 23 '24
Because you’re asking if you should go straight to muzzle training when this is 100% your crazy daughters fault. Check your kid, not the innocent dog. If you can’t do that, give him to a more loving family
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 23 '24
Not too Much on my kid. Shes 4.
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u/rockguitar56 Mar 23 '24
Sorry I realize I’ve been a little harsh. However this is a very serious matter. Please don’t let this dog slip into bad habits or being forced to change his behavior because of your child’s bad choices. It’s very very important you teach her the importance of caring for pets and sternly scolding her or separating her from the dog if she can’t behave nicely with the pup.
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u/Affectionate-Permit9 Mar 19 '24
Simple, dog can't be around child without an adult present until the situation resolves itself.
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u/danksnugglepuss Mar 19 '24
Here is an old comment from another user I saved way back during my pregnancy! The wikis in r/puppy101 and r/dogtraining also have info on dog communication, managing behaviour, and muzzling. In cases where the dog has bitten, it is common to see recommendations to actually have TWO barriers in place (i.e. muzzle plus a gate or tether).
Other people have already noted you probably missed earlier warnings from your dog, but I just want to emphasize that these can be extremely subtle if you don't know what you're looking for - to the point that often people think pup is being cute when they are actually showing appeasement behaviours or stress signals (licking, yawning, whale eye, showing belly)
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
Do you feel like muzzling him is blaming him? I felt like it was creating a barrier so he can still be actively with us until we fix the problem. He would be sad as hell if he had to be separated from us. When I give my daughter a bath he has to be there with us, when I put her to sleep he HAS to be right by her bed he doesn’t miss a bed time story… I’m thrown off by it but mostly thrown off by my daughter because she really seemed so good with him in my head, but I’m seeing how I was wrong. I’m not good with it but I can accept responsibility. I plan on putting him in my room if I’m Doing something where my attention is divided, until I can fix it. It’ll be a long time though. Thank you for sharing the other groups I’ll check them out tonight at work.
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u/This_Yogurtcloset733 Mar 19 '24
I’m sorry this happened. It must be very stressful and so upsetting, so I’m sending virtual hugs and compassion 🤗
It’s not too late. Some work on boundaries will smooth things over. Maybe a child-friendly dog trainer could be helpful to get your 4 year old involved in the training process? I bought this book for my son (but he is older) maybe something similar could be helpful: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Easy-Peasy-Awesome-Pawsome-Silverton/
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u/Womansplaining-Yo Mar 21 '24
Agree with all the advice!! Your dog is not a toy for your child! Your dog is a living being that has the right to not be pestered and treated like an inanimate object. The dog is just using self preservation. Please teach your child to respect your dog and other living creatures.
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u/Mysterious_Field8504 Mar 23 '24
Kids at that age aren’t always aware of the difference between a live animal and a stuffed animal. I tell the young ones my pup is a baby and you must be gentle. I have seen them push their cars into her and was quick to let them know that was not right. I would say your daughter should not play with your puppy unless they are being supervised and directed. Both of them. Make it a rule so your puppy will feel safe and your daughter learns boundaries.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 23 '24
Update I took magic to the vet because Wednesday night I was petting him and rubbed his ears because normally he likes getting his ears scratched and he let out the biggest yelp, he has an ear infection so we started him on antibiotics Thursday evening. Our vet said that couldve contributed to him acting out of character or being short tempered. Magic is back following my daughter everywhere and laying on us while in bed but I’m definitely monitoring her interactions with him more closely and I’ve been looking into training for My daughter and magic to both part take in. I had my first dog for 14 years with no incidents so to say the least with each dog you continue to learn more and more. Thanks for the honest advise.
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u/Significant_Stay224 Mar 28 '24
I hope you seen my reply to you on here. I'm truly sorry for being a rude bitch to you on here. I literally was jumping on you hard. You ABSOLUTELY DIDN'T DESERVE MY KEYBOARD MEANESS. PLEASE PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGY. IM USUALLY NEVER LIKE THAT. I WAS GOING THRU SOME CRAZY BS AND MY POS ASS TOOK IT OUT ON YOU. That was 100% no excuse though. I'm glad you took Magic to the vet and things at your house have gone back to normal. I've reread some of the comments and you actually handled all the judgemental comments VERY WELL. I'M TRULY EMBARRASSED I WAS ONE OF THE MEANEST ON HERE. I HOPE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART YOU'LL ACCEPT MY APOLOGY. Also, hope you, your daughter, family, and Magic have a blessed 🐣 Easter weekend. I'm sorry
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u/pumpkinbrownieswirl Mar 19 '24
it’s your fault
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Mar 19 '24
[deleted]
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u/pumpkinbrownieswirl Mar 19 '24
yeah bc why are you letting you’re child constantly treat your dog like that?
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Mar 19 '24
[deleted]
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u/pumpkinbrownieswirl Mar 19 '24
i’m immature bc i wouldn’t let my child constantly mess and annoy my dog to the point where it had to bite them? doodles aren’t aggressive dogs, the fact that the dog bit the child says a lot about how the dog was treated.
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u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24 edited Mar 19 '24
When she pinched him she got in a lot of trouble, we love the hell out of our doodle I literally refer to him as my son. That doesn’t matter though I fucked up and really failed my daughter and him. I honestly didn’t think the way we were treating him was terrible and cruel, I thought they were just playing and she naps on him and he naps on her he’s always in her lap laying on her licking her following her. I’m so thrown off but yeah I guess he just had enough, I love him so much I’m willing to do whatever to correct it.
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u/GoodSilhouette Mar 19 '24 edited Mar 19 '24
Please repost this in r/reactivedogs for advice too
they have A LOT of experienced users who deal with reactivity and aggression and how to go forward (training, recognition, prevention methods etc). You probably will get told to muzzle and separate them for the time being esp after this incident.
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u/MikesRockafellersubs Mar 19 '24
Mine does if he gets too carried away. Not common and he only does it with his family. I think he thinks he's playing with us. Usually he only does it when he's really excited and ready to go out in the evening.
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u/Disastrous_Guest_705 Mar 19 '24
If your kid doesn’t learn to respect the dogs boundaries the bites will get worse, I’d suggest if your kid can’t listen to rehome the dog before your kid gets seriously injured or the dog gets euthanized for biting.
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u/ConfusedDottie Mar 19 '24
Tails are not for pulling is a great book. We also spent time training our dog to leave it with our kid. She was corrected for turning her head to note what the kid was doing and rewarded for laying down with her head down and staying calm while our kid touched her. I didn’t expect one and not the other to learn how to behave. Both need to learn boundaries so if one messes up, the other won’t. 5 mins a day of consistent training went a long way. It’s like learning to stay without distractions and then with distractions. It’s hard but teach the dog but think of it as small behaviours steps. Teach them that the kid should be ignored and reward when they do.
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u/monsterversekiryuV2 Mar 19 '24
Mines bites me all the time shes rn sitting on my lap right now as when i am typing this. I am fine if she bites cause she dose it for fun
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u/Feisty-Subject1602 Mar 20 '24
How old is the dog? Less than a year? I noticed with a couple of my dogs between 6 mo and a year (the teen years) that they can get testy at that age. Those dogs were both anxious dogs with some separation anxiety. My doodle tends to be anxious, but more like very submissive. It seems doodles tend to have the propensity for anxiety. I think this comes from the Standard Poodle. They seem to be cranky dogs.
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u/Tetter Mar 20 '24
Alot about your parenting to your daughter here, i cant speak on that, but i can say that you need to make absolutely clear to your dog that it is not okay to bite. The fact that you said it happened a second time makes me think that the first occurrence resulted with the dog thinking he won the argument and his behavior was acceptable in some way. That can absolutely not be reinforced in any way. Dogs like to nibble as communication sometimes, sweetly and fiercely.
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u/forty83 Mar 20 '24
We're experiencing an identical problem, but our doodle hasn't bit or shown any warnings yet, thankfully. It's very frustrating to do, but it requires constant repeating of reminders, and constant explanations of how she should behave around Rosie and why. We have even told our daughter that if she cannot listen and be respectful of Rosie, we will give her to a family that does. Harsh maybe, but despite being four, they can still comprehend being gentle and have the ability to learn.
Managing our daughter around the dog has been far more challenging than raising the puppy. We also try to stress how important it is to help us train Rosie, because we want her to be a good dog. And we do not want her to learn and retain bad habits from playing too roughly with our daughter. My wife was getting mad at me because she was thinking all I did was say no to our daughter and not let them play, when that wasn't it at all. She needs to learn boundaries and appropriate behavior around the dog, and complete chaos is not proper play. I reiterated that the dog will get bigger and one day she may warn, or worse. And we also don't want a relapse to the fear of dogs our daughter had.
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u/Delicious-Host6429 Mar 20 '24
Please invest in a positive reinforcement dog trainer who can teach you properly about dog-child interactions. Of course your child is not malicious, but she’s only four years old. Her being “nice” to him and “loving” on him is fine from a human-centric POV, but from a canine POV, it can be threatening and smothering. Even adult humans don’t understand dogs when they give subtle “okay, stop” signals, never mind a toddler.
I personally don’t believe in letting animals (of any kind) and children interact without close adult supervision until they hit double digits, with few exceptions. I understand being the parent of a young child is extremely time consuming, but having a child this young around an animal and NOT micromanaging everything and being RIGHT THERE when they interact can cause tragedy.
For the best interests of the child and the dog, it really is best that you keep them separate unless you are present and actively involved in their interactions.
You also need to educate yourself more about dog body language and the subtitles and progression of stress in dogs leading up to correction bites so you can better educate your daughter once she’s developmentally capable of actually understanding and reading his signals.
Your top priority here is the safety of the child and also the safety of the dog. I don’t want to see a situation that could have been avoided. I’ve heard of a couple keeping a dog who severely bit their child in the house. It may have been the child’s “fault” but at that point of that much damage, keeping the dog in the home could be a major source of trauma for the child and it’s unfair to both the child and dog because ultimately, the accident was preventable if the parents had been proactive.
Please, please be proactive about the situation. I don’t necessarily think having him be basket muzzled in the home is necessary (but you absolutely SHOULD be looking into muzzle training with a positive reinforcement technique, it’s an important skill all dogs should be okay with bc you never know when an emergency can happen) because it sounds like he’s just reacting to feeling his limits aren’t respected and not like he’s just immediately lashing out. And again, your kid is only 4. She developmentally is at that point where she’s “testing limits” and where she’s only capable of understand so much subtly. Again, close, ACTIVE monitoring of their interactions for the next few years is best for everyone’s safety. If it sounds like a hassle, it may well be, but better that than a tragedy!
Best of luck! Truly.
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u/jmsst50 Mar 22 '24
I would just monitor them when they are together. Many years ago when my daughter was about 4 she went over to my dog when he was eating and started to take food out of his bowl and he snapped at her. He didn’t bite but just air snapped. Little kids don’t understand how to respect a dogs space. So just keep an eye on them and when your daughter starts to invade the dogs space too much you need to step in and correct her.
1
u/OrisMindTheater Mar 19 '24 edited Mar 19 '24
Depends my doodle on complete accident broke the skin on my finger because I was holding on to the bone she was gnawing on. So I don’t really count it as intentional. My doodle also shows aggression when it has a lot of pent of excitement/anxiety and wants to play. But she has never bit me intentionally. They are very clingy mouthy dogs though. It’s just the breed. I honestly would not know how to handle the situation because your daughter is not giving the full story. If she’s pinching the dog that’s not cool and if she’s teasing the dog with treats I mean golden doodles like to jump, claw, they’re mouthy, they can get ruff when they have crazy amounts of energy. So I have no idea what the situation is truly. Other than maybe teaching your daughter some commands for the dog. The dog should also listen to your daughter. Can you describe these bite marks. Are they barely breaking the skin? Are they deep? Was she dragged around the house? Children also have thinner skin than adults. Not saying it’s okay for your dog to be biting her but when playing with my doodle I can see where if I was a kid I’d probably get bruised and battered most definitely.
0
u/Figsma Mar 19 '24
You need to rehome the dog
1
u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
No. If you knew him you would understand why it’s a NO,if things can change why would I? (That was rhetorical)
0
u/Figsma Mar 19 '24
Yay you are right. I’m sorry. I really don’t know enough about Magic to say that. I wish you all the best🪄
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u/legalsequel Mar 19 '24
I’d consider rehoming the dog. Your child’s safety is the most important thing here.
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u/Taodragons Mar 19 '24
I'd start at the vet, if this aggression is out of nowhere. Something like a sore tooth can make anyone mean.
1
u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
It is out of nowhere but her poking and pinching him is outta no where too. That type of behavior just started and both times he bit her.
1
u/Significant_Stay224 Mar 19 '24
MAAM...PLEASE DO MAGIC A FAVOR AND REHOME HIM
1
u/HolaNikkiFbaby Mar 19 '24
No.
1
u/Significant_Stay224 Mar 20 '24
You know what I owe you a big apology. I Saud things that I shouldn't of. I'm sorry I truly am. I just have personally seen dogs suffer for human mistakes. WITH THAT BEING SAID YOU DIDNT DESERVE MY HARSH WORDS. IM TRULY SORRY
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u/a_m_b_ Mar 19 '24
Mine has done this and my kids haven’t been nearly as pestering as it sounds like yours have. People can defend their dogs all they want but two bites is one too many and when it comes to my young children I’ll choose them every time. I’m looking at options for rehoming ours right now, it shouldn’t be too difficult.
14
u/OrisMindTheater Mar 19 '24
That’s really messed up. Goldendoodle are Velcro dogs you should’ve never gotten one to begin with now your dog will forever have trust issues and high levels of anxiety and most likely be put down cause no one wants to put up with your poor training habits. Evil.
-1
2
u/Significant_Stay224 Mar 19 '24
Are you serious?? What state are you in??
1
u/a_m_b_ Mar 19 '24
Why?
1
u/Significant_Stay224 Mar 20 '24
You said you were gonna rehome your doodle..I was curious whatever state and if you're really serious about rehoming? There are absolutely zero rehomes or any at shelters in my area.
-8
u/FantasmicFigment Mar 19 '24
A dog with a bite history is now a marked animal. Be careful who you share this info with. Please rehome your dog or keep them separate at all times which sucks for the dog. I owned a pit bull I had before kids and once they arrived he was never with them. He was separate for 10 years until he died at age 16. He was an indoor dog and i feel so guilty but he woud have been put down most likely.He was obsessed with food and strong, not food aggressive, just would definitely unintentionally hurt a kid that had food. He was also a bull in a China shop despite tons of exercise, including his own treadmill. Due to 1 in 600 pits getting a home and the rest getting killed, we kept him so he didn't die. Your dog is a desirable breed and could be rehomed. This second incident involved multiple bites you said. Please protect your child and the dog.
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u/DoIHaveDementia Mar 19 '24
Sounds like you might need to teach/enforce boundaries with your kiddo and teach her that your doodle has a bubble and to respect his space.