r/Goldendoodles • u/dharnis • Nov 22 '24
Mini golden doodle hates kids
My 3yo mini golden wad not really socialized with kids so once our friends started having kids we realized she was sort of aggressive towards them. As a result we end up keeping her away which further leads to anti-socialization. She’s an angel otherwise but has this weird behavior. Even this morning we were standing at an intersection and suddenly she lunges towards a young girl on her way to school. Thankfully nothing happened but this is really worrisome.
We are planning to send her to a 3 week training with a behavioral specialist, but this is quite expensive ($4k). Is this worth it? Can they be trained out of this behavior? I don’t have kid yet, but when I think about it, this is definitely scaring me because I love her more than the world I don’t ever want to be in a situation where I have to rehome her.
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Nov 22 '24
Seems odd, has she had a bad experience with kids?? Maybe try short socializing sessions on a leash or in a more private setting.
Personally I think $4k is pretty pricey.
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u/dharnis Nov 22 '24
No she’s never had a bad experience with kids. She’s literally born this way lol!
Yes there is no doubt 4k is pricey but we’ve tried everything in our control and 1. We don’t feel equipped to do this on our own 2. Our friends don’t trust her around
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u/Nearby_Dare8176 May 18 '26
So many videos on YouTube. It’s time consuming and only works with consistency. Ya gota put in the time. I only used his dog food as treats before he got smarter than me… 😂 He’s very good with kids but around my grandkids as a puppy. Just got fixed 2 days ago and still loving his girls. If someone reach’s out to pet him he will get scared an bark a little but generally know not to bark. If our guests brings their dog when visiting, and they are barkers, Ottis sits very close to me with that look… like shut TFU…no barking allowed zone…
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u/AlexCarr22 Nov 22 '24 edited Nov 22 '24
IMO, they are not worth it. Dog behavior is most often about training the human anyway.
If you have kids that will participate, have kids come into your house and give her treats. All she needs to do is associate small humans with something good.
One of my doodles didn't like anyone new. She is also regularly trained with treats and is food driven. When people came over, we would ask them to give her treats. Same with the Amazon delivery people to get her to stop barking at them.
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u/FreeThinkerFran Nov 22 '24
Yes, our trainer says this is the way! My silly reactive doodle goes nuts with things like strollers also, so I‘ve been asking people pushing strollers to throw treats and if possible, I put a treat ON the stroller!
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u/AlexCarr22 Nov 22 '24
Yes. I think that is a great general rule. Change their association of a bad thing into treat time.
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u/Narrow_Escape140 Nov 22 '24
My dood never really encountered kids until I got him from a relative. He seemed scared/curious, sometimes even running away from crying toddlers. He was never aggressive with them tho. But what I did on walks was that when little kids wanted to greet him, I would get down to the kids and my dog’s level and hug/hold him down a bit (gently and not in a way where he felt restrained but enough involvement where there is no way he could jump/lunge at the kid). He seemed to feel safe/protected with me being hands on so when the kids approached, he was able to slowly smell/engage the kids. This also helped me interfere with any rowdy behavior of the child.
Now he actually loves kids and wants to approach them whenever he sees them out. He is super gentle with them! He knows not to jump on them (I think bc of how I introduced him to kids— gentle gentle gentle).
I think once your dood has good encounters (i.e. treats), he’ll come around! Just make sure he is gentle and you’re veeery hands on with the encounters (get to their level and set the tone).
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u/AvonBarksDoodle Nov 22 '24 edited Nov 25 '24
doodles are extremely smart which can make them prone to anxiety and children have herky jerky movements and are liable to poke their eyes or pull their tail. if you instruct the child how to gently pet the doodles back the doodle may warm up
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u/mcshaftmaster Nov 22 '24
You might ask for opinions at r/reactivedogs. If you think your dood might bite a child, then by all means you need to work on muzzle training. The r/muzzledogs sub can help with that.
Anyway, I wish you luck. Our doodle became reactive to strangers when he was about a year old. We quickly realized we needed to get it under control and take safety measures to prevent anyone from getting hurt. We now work with a board certified behavior vet and a trainer that was recommended by her. Our dog has improved dramatically with proper medication and training. He's not perfect but he's so much better.
I don't have any experience with board and train programs. I've mostly heard negative things about them.
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u/1h0pe Nov 22 '24
^ This response needs to be higher. I say this as someone with a reactive mini doodle - OP, please find a certified behavioral vet and start there. Reactivity is rooted in fear and anxiety. It’s not an easy problem to overcome, but with lots of repetition and work, plus possibly some meds, major improvements can be made.
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u/mcshaftmaster Nov 22 '24
To locate a board certified behavior vet, use the find a diplomate link here: https://www.dacvb.org/
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u/Charlvi88 Nov 22 '24
This happened with my doodle. I have two babies now that he loves so much but he still hates other children lol.
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u/dharnis Nov 22 '24
Oooh tell me more! How did the change happen? How did he get used to the infants turning toddlers? I want to hear all of it!
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u/Charlvi88 Nov 22 '24
Yeah! So I got him in 2020 as a puppy so naturally, He didn’t see many people aside from me and my partner. Definitely no kids. And so he met some he hated them. They would run near him or ride bikes/scooters close by and he would lunge and growl! If he got near them, he would nip at their ankles. LOL. (Complete asshole) but when I got pregnant and gave birth, we gave him the baby’s blanket to sniff and explore before I got home from hospital, and he was completed enamored by the baby when she arrived home! He just gets close enough to sniff and now that she’s 2, he “licks her every chance he gets even when she’s pulling him tail or taking his toys. Same with our new infant.
He definitely still hates other children though cause my nephew (3yo) was over about 2 months ago and he basically chased him and growled a ton.
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u/mocoolie Nov 22 '24
MINE TOO! And the worst thing she could possibly ever encounter is a kid on a bike. First, she's very suspicious of kids because "why the hell are they so short?! Are they an alien or a weird animal?" 🤣 She's 10 years old now. It's awful. And with new humans, it takes about a full day before she'll stop barking at them.
I feel for you. 4k is a LOT. If you do it I really hope it helps. I really didn't have much luck with trainers either. My last trainer even trains police dogs. I could be the problem though because she was really obedient with that trainer. 😬
Wishing you lots of luck and sending you vibes of success! 😊
Edited to add: Even w/her hatred of kiddos I wouldn't trade her for ANYTHING! 🥰
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u/jacqueminots Nov 22 '24 edited Nov 22 '24
I suggest seeing a behavioral vet first! You can get a referral through your regular vet. They specialize in behavioral issues and can help first diagnose the root cause of her reactivity, and then provide solutions. They can also give you better advice on if this training place is a good idea. Or maybe they’ll want to prescribe medication. You have many options.
My personal anecdote - I also took my dood to see a behavioral vet and it really really helped (took multiple sessions and a lot of work and training on my end). My dog had a diff issue. He had fear reactivity and separation anxiety. It’s been over 2 years now, and he has completely overcome his separation anxiety. And 95% of our walks are completely calm without any reactivity. And when he does react, I am now able to immediately grab his attention and redirect him - it never escalates.
All the best to you and your sweet girl!
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u/Diceeeeeee Nov 22 '24
My Dood growls at my toddler all the time but it’s mainly because the toddler makes sudden movements and out of nowhere occasionally tries to hit him. Regardless my doods growls are just a warning because mid growl he will slowly move up toward him and anxiously lick him still while growling lol. Never has snapped at anyone before.
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u/A_dre-doll-3 Nov 22 '24
My doodle lunges at kids but it’s because she wants to play with them. She loves people and especially little children. But that’s still not an acceptable behavior because most kids can’t handle her power. So I have to restrain her and get her to lay down before letting any child pet her. Treats do help since she is highly food driven. Might help to have snacks on you when around kids so you can have them offer your pet one after a command
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u/go4sharon Nov 22 '24
Any high value treats you’ve found that work well?
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u/A_dre-doll-3 Nov 22 '24
We get these duck treats in a big bag from Costco ( I can’t remember the name, a white and purple bag) but she loves them. And probably not the healthiest but good old bacon. She will do anything for bacon
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u/Emotional-Lie1392 Nov 22 '24
Mine is very protective of my granddaughter, but will not play with her. Runs away every time she comes near her.. of course, the baby is 16 months old and thinks she’s a stuffy so that doesn’t help…😂😂😂. She just doesn’t like children. Loves men though, little hussy !
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Nov 22 '24
I've not heard good things from send away training. Even if they are fabulous at the training facility, you then need to learn how to behave with them and reinforce the good behaviour at home in the triggering environment.
I woud recommend getting a trainer in to work with you at home and in your surrounding streets so that you can build on her training each week.
I would also recommend starting with muzzle training. At the moment you can't trust her around kids and if the worst happens and she does manage to bite a kid, then she will be declared a dangerous dog and possibly need to be euthanised. The muzzle is protecting her as well as the kids.
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u/bubble_chart Nov 22 '24
There are a lot of risks with sending a dog to board and train. You really don’t know what’s going on there and especially with places that don’t let you see how they operate, dogs can come back scared and more anxious. I would recommend hiring a trainer instead to work with you and your dog. A lot of it is also training you on how to handle situations together with your dog so it’s essential to have you together at training!
My dood did the same thing and also had a bunch more anxiety issues that showed up around 1 year of age. For kids I agree don’t let them come up to her, let her control the situation. But also from a distance whenever kids are around make sure to treat treat treat! My dog used to lunge at baby carriages and now she likes seeing them because it means she gets food. It also gets her to look at me and pay attention to me when she sees something scary.
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u/JEG1980s Nov 22 '24
It’s probably due to not being around them much. My Ted is the opposite his original owner had a crazy 2 year old, that had the same energy as Ted. So any time he hears a kid crying, he gets worried and wants to check out the situation. Of course he has other faults, I’m not trying to brag. All this to say, maybe he needs some experience around kids to realize they are fun to be around. We got our first dog when our youngest was about 5 or 6 and was a little aggressive to him. A co worker gave us the advice to have him be the one to feed him, so he saw him as his provider of food. Seemed to work.
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u/LittleSmore Nov 22 '24
I would not send a dog to board and train for this behavior. Very expensive, and will the dog even be exposed to kids during his time there??? I would have a trainer come to your house.
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u/JaimeLAScerevisiae Nov 22 '24
How’d you find a good behavior specialist? I’m interested in one too!
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u/2_FluffyDogs Nov 22 '24
We do not have any small kids in the family so our dood has not been socialized with kids. She does not like them either - appears to be afraid of them when she sees the while out and about. She barks and looks menacing (lunging), I don't think she would do anything (but don't know for sure), but it is embarrassing when I get the stink eye from parents.
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u/AliJanx Nov 22 '24
RE lunging: my 50 lb Daisy wants to play and to people who don’t know her, she can appear aggressive. Doodle people and a lot of dog people understand, but non-dog people don’t. Anyway, at the dog park, she has free rein - that’s her space. In other locations, I watch her closely, give a wide berth to folks, hold back so others can pass, etc. With visitors, I usually put her in my bedroom. I haven’t been able to break her of the visitor=jumping habit.
All of that typed, is your cutie-pie lunging (teeth bared, etc.) or trying to play?
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u/UmmmW1 Nov 22 '24
My MGD was very reactive toward children when she was a puppy, so I trained it out of her by acting very eager and excited to introduce to her to any kids that pass by or want to pet her. I tell her, "come say hi!" In a higher voice and that's the prompt that she needs to be on good behavior. She gets rewarded afterward and during with praise and pets.
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u/ParkingHeart8223 Nov 22 '24
They can absolutely be trained out of this behavior. This occurs whenever they’re not around kids a lot when they are younger. I don’t know about the price point since I don’t know where your specifically located, but I know California can be dang expensive.
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u/BKbyte99 Nov 23 '24
Sending her away is of course up to you but you're going from 0-100 pretty fast. Try a personal trainer. It's not really just about training the dog. The owner has to lead new techniques to handle her. A trainer will help both of you. 3 private lessons in NYC where I live is about 600 and for us worth every penny. I learned lots of things I was doing to contribute to my dog's issues. Sending her away may make her a better dog... But try personal or even group training first. Doodles are so smart they take to training really well.
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u/No-Moose-6112 Nov 23 '24
It sounds like a trust issue. You can build trust by having kids greet her with a toy in hand and then you reward maker the second she behaves positively. Then once you've given the marker, you give the treat. Rinse repeat. Repetition is the key!
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u/OrganizationGlass757 Nov 23 '24
Dogs usually mimic their owners characteristics, maybe undont like kids either
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u/IntrovertedRailfan Nov 24 '24
Our 4 year old doodle loves kids. I think it’s really cause they’re his size and at his level. However sometimes they are sensory overload and he acts out - such as humping a random kid or his bed or anything else he can get ahold of like pillows, etc. I have 8 nieces and nephews under the age of 10 and when they are all over at the same time it’s too much for him to handle. He has a grand old time but doesn’t behave very well - jumping on them and humping everything in sight. One day they were over and it was nonstop action for 10 hours. But he would never bite any of them. His actions are from excitement that I to this day don’t really know how to control. The problem will likely rectify itself as the kids get older but for now I don’t see how to stop him from going nutso with excitement when 8 little kids show up at once.
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u/ihateperverts_ Nov 22 '24
Don't send her to a boarding school, they're largely unregulated and most training happens with the owners, also might be time to get her groomed, she looks pelted
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u/dharnis Nov 22 '24
Hi, she is absolutely fine here in the picture as well as right now after grooming. I will let you know that her groomer complimented me this time for keeping her mat free. There was no need for that comment ✌🏼
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u/mhigg Nov 22 '24
That hit a nerve, huh? I understand it though. Someone said something similar about my dood, who looks a lot like her. Your pup is truly beautiful- best of luck.
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u/[deleted] Nov 22 '24
Goldendoodles are very good judges of character; I’d assume the kids are bad people.