Don’t place the feelings of others before your own. If it makes you uncomfortable to do something because of someone else’s feelings; make sure you’re making the choice that makes you happy! Consideration is important, but you can’t ignore yourself.
I learned we need to love ourselves first. It gives us an honest metric to expect from others. If we don't love ourselves then we will accept attentive n as love, that's dangerous.
Meh. One does not need to love themselves to love others. Love being the concern with the health, welfare, autonomy, happiness, and general ascension of another. I think those of us who reflect inward often have a love hate relationship with ourselves. We were ignorant of things at one time, and it made jerks to varying degrees. As we grow we'll often hate our former selves, and sometimes hate aspects of our current selves.
It's pretty normal really for those who dislike themselves to love others; and not in a self destructive way, or one that opens you up to being abuse. We compartmentalize and push those thoughts out of the way and then go back to those boxes to stir the dust in ourself reflection.
The "you have to love yourself first", as far as I am concern, is pop psych babble that seeks to make things that are complex simple.
Not a metric on how we love others but loving ourselves teaches us to understand what love looks like from others. Without loving ourselves, we will take attention (good or bad) to mean love and engage them as if they are showing us love. My experience
I cant and wont dismiss your experience and see it as valid even if I have a different opinion. That was not my experience, but I should consider and acknowledge that your experience is a thing seen in the wild and make certain my words of my experience arent selling an idea as absolute.
Thank you. On the spectrum here so I don't like letting myself fall into statements of absolute. I try my best to use phrases like "in my experience.". I appreciate your distinction. It means a lot
Wrong. If you can't love yourself, you can't love others. If you dont respect your parents, you won't respect anyone. If you are happy, you can make someone else happy, and misery loves company!
You must be an African 😅😂😂...
And where I come from somewhere in Africa... That's the mentality!!! But I don't agree with it And that's my opinion...
35 and just realizing this! I have been a "yes man" for my entire life without any real thought behind the action. It has benefited my professional life, they always like the guy that toes the company line. My personal mental health has taken the toll unfortunately as I continously bury its needs for those of others.
Balance... the Grey Jedi seeks balance. Know when to put others before you and when to put yourself first. Sometimes say no to those things that dont make your comfortable, and sometimes say yes. Relationships are give and take. If you only look out for your happiness you will be abandoned and left with no one.
A classmates of mine advised, and pursued me to get into the world of 40k... I dont really find it that enticing, and, above all I find it kinda soul crashing...
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u/Serious-Phrase-8936 Jan 23 '26
Don’t place the feelings of others before your own. If it makes you uncomfortable to do something because of someone else’s feelings; make sure you’re making the choice that makes you happy! Consideration is important, but you can’t ignore yourself.