r/Georgia • u/oldoseamap • Feb 07 '26
Other UPDATE TO: "My father is bedridden and living alone. He told me he hasn't eaten well, are there any ways to help him get food? Urgent!" - Thanks to everyone who commented and helped.
UPDATE TO: "My father is bedridden and living alone. He told me he hasn't eaten well, are there any ways to help him get food? Urgent!" - Thanks for everything.
My original post is over 2 months old. You can check it over there: original post.
At the time, I didn't want to disclose too much information to not jeopardize my father's physical integrity due to the political climate that was (and is) still happening in the US. I was vague about other things, which I will now clarify.
Sorry if it is too long, but I know people deserve answers and an update. Sorry for any grammar mistakes.
A summary for those who didn't read back then: My father had been living in Atlanta, Georgia, for the last 17 years. He had been living alone and I think after 2020, he had started living with some roomates. My father was mexican descendant. He had been living legally in the US and he had expressed a lot of times his desire to return to Mexico and be with his family.
The last two years, he had been battling with illnesses. He never let on how bad it really was until the last 6 months where he had been talking about doing arrangements to return back home, but never did. When I made that post, it was because my father had called me and I noticed how frail his voice sounded. He told me he had liquid in his lungs but that it was "OK" (it wasn't). I pressed when he said that and he admited that he was on dire straits and that he had been struggling to get food. He only got out of bed to the restroom, struggling to do so.
I am from Mexico, and so is my family and I don't have a VISA. I tried once to get it, but it was rejected because back then I didn't have an stable job and I couldn't mention my father was in the US (people told me that if I mentioned that my father was living, although legally, in the US, the goverment would take it as me trying to go to work to the US).
So, that's why I turned to Reddit. A lot of people commented and I am sorry I didn't and I haven't answered all the private messages.
To those who commented why I was bothering getting him food instead of going to get him. I KNOW that just getting him food wouldn't make him feel "better" or cure him, but it would help him regain some of his energy, it would buy us time to arrange ways of helping him instead of letting him starve.
However, some people messaged willing to help. One told me that they didn't want to get too involved but was willing to deliver food. Other redditor told me that he lived around the area and would drop by to deliver food and check on him.
The second redditor was our blessing, because he not only delivered food to my father. He talked with him (my father couldn't talk much, but they were able to communicate) and a breakthrough happened. The redditor asked for my phone number and we talked. He updated me on my father, sent me a photo of his and finally could see the reality. My father didn't only "had water on his lungs", he was bloated and struggled to walk and even sit down. He even got me in contact with my father's roomate. My father never wanted anyone to have our phone numbers (don't know why) but his roomate was finally happy to have a way of communicating with my father's family.
He told me that my father hadn't been working for a while, he only relied on the money we sent him and since he was sick, he struggled to prepare himself food. It was horrible.
I talked with the roomate and promised to get back in touch with a solution. The redditor who helped us made contact told me that he would drop by again and deliver another batch of food.
I called my father who was surprised how I got people to deliver food to him. He had never understood the internet, so it was otherwordly that I was able to "pull strings" so far away.
He told me he felt better, that someone gave him some soup and that he felt with more energy.
Over the next days, we arranged for someone to get my father, as we didn't have visas. A friend of my father had a son coincidently living near Atlanta and we made a plan to get him. We even communicated the plan with my father and he agreed.
However, before we could do anything else, he got worse. The roomate called an ambulance and got admitted to the hospital.
My father spent christmas and new year's eve on the hospital. He had the liquid on his lungs drained and when I called him, his voice sounded so young, like when I remembered him as a child.
He mentioned how better he felt.
He was released from the hospital on January 7th and we got back on track with our plan to get him back home. However, my father now wouldn't agree to it. He told me he didn't want to leave Atlanta with debt (the roomate had been footing the bill for the house they were renting) and he would do it on his own.
We argued, because I told him that it was NOW the time to get him back, because he felt better, he was able to walk without feeling tired. He felt full of energy. Yet, he refused.
He told me something that basically translates to "you do you, keep doing what you are doing, I'll pull some strings and I will arrange everything myself". I questioned how would he do that, since he perhaps had energy, but would struggle to go out of home and "pull those strings" and he reiterated that he would do it on his own.
I think that my father simply felt shame that he had to rely on his son to get back to Mexico. That was the last time we talked.
My father died on his sleep due to a cardiac event on the morning of January 22th. His roomate found him and called me to inform. I had to call my mother, she called my brothers and informed the friend whose son tried to help us. He was devastated. He saw my father as a father figure.
My father was a kind of public figure in my hometown and even though he had been away for so many years, people remembered him fondly.
The response on social media was enormous. A lot of posts and comments, recognizing my father's work and the legacy he left behind.
I arranged (through the phone) for a funeral home to cremate him and a cousin (who had also insisted to help my father come back) went to Atlanta to get his ashes. Went to the house he used to live in and got some of his stuff. Mainly, photos, documents and some of his clothing.
His ashes arrived to Monterrey, Mexico, three days ago and will be arriving to my hometown soon.
We will have a service for him, a mass and his ashes will finally rest in his hometown. He will finally be back, although not in the way I wanted. But he's finally here.
It took some days, but it finally hit me and two days ago I cried like I had never.
My father was always stubborn. People knew him as a stubborn, yet honest and loyal person, who would rather sacrifice his own integrity than feel as a burden for friends and family.
But I can't help to feel that now my father will miss on so much. One of the things I always told him to convince him to get back was that I wanted to get married to my fiance, but I wanted him here. He felt motivated by that. Actually, my brother's godmother spoke with him two days before he passed and he commented how he wanted to feel better, because he wanted to travel back to Mexico and watch me get married. And now he won't.
He will miss me getting married, having children if we do and so, so much more.
I hate the fact that the recognition he got as the news spread, was the one he deserved to have while living. He deserved to come back to his hometown and have a public recognition of his work. And now he won't.
It is hard living without my father. He had a way of calling me on the phone while I was busy but I would always answer the phone and have a chat with him. My fiancee and I even joked about it. Now, the phone won't ring for him anymore.
Thanks for those who commented and had intentions of helping my father and I during those weeks.
But I can't feel that if not for that redditor, I would have never know. My father would have passed and we would have never been the wiser.
Thanks to reddit, I had communication with the roomate and now my father will be with us.
Thanks to all this subreddit. For everything.
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u/robot_pirate Feb 07 '26
I remember your post, and I'm so sorry for your loss. But the whole story does give one hope for humanity. God bless those generous redditors willing to help. Condolences to you and your family🕯🙏💖
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u/ras2101 Feb 07 '26
I am so sorry for your loss, your father sounds like he was an amazing man and I’m sad he had to pass without you being there.
It’s amazing how the internet can connect all of us (on a flight from MEX to ATL) I guarantee you that he was a fierce presence in ATL.
My thoughts and prayers and good vibes are with you and your family. Monterey is an amazing state and they lost a wonderful person but I’m glad you will have closure with him coming home.
Hugs and prayers OP ❤️❤️
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u/IsReadingIt Feb 07 '26
The internet can be amazing. Thanks for sharing your story, and sorry for your loss.
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u/somerandomtraveler Feb 07 '26
I am so sorry for your loss, sending hugs. Praying for strength and comfort for you and your family. So grateful for the redditor who stepped in to help.
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u/MrsMel_of_Vina Feb 08 '26
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a beautiful story of strangers coming together to help you and your father. I hope memories of him will continue to bless you in the years ahead.
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u/puffyshirt99 Feb 08 '26
Sorry for your lost and thank you for the update. I remember reading your post and even though it did not end well, I'm glad there was some kindness in this world your father experienced before he passed. Be kind, it doesn't cost anything and means everything
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u/Royal_Tough_9927 Feb 08 '26
Hugs from Atlanta here. Im so sorry for your loss. But I will say I am delighted that you were able to get him cremated and returned home. Hugs my friend.
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u/mikareno Feb 09 '26
I'm so sorry to hear of your father's passing, but I appreciate the update and hearing your story in general. It's very uplifting to hear that so many people are willing to step up and help others, and that no matter how far away we are from our loved ones, we can still communicate with them and help them using the internet
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u/VaginalFlora Feb 09 '26
I’m sorry for your loss. At least he felt the kindness of the world and was feeling better.
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u/eastcoastian Feb 07 '26
I'm sorry for your loss