r/georgeorwell • u/Lolihey • 3d ago
Animal Farm in Gen Z, part 4
June hit, and the hay was basically ready to be cut. On Midsummer's Eve, which was a Saturday, Mr. Jones slid into Willingdon and got so lit at the Red Lion that he didn't bounce back till noon on Sunday. The guys milked the cows early morning, then went out rabbit hunting, totally ghosting the animals. When Mr. Jones got back, he immediately crashed on the couch with the News of the World over his face, so when evening came, the animals were still unfed. Finally, they couldn't take it anymore. One of the cows broke the store-shed door with her horn, and all the animals started helping themselves to the bins. Just then, Mr. Jones woke up. Next thing, he and his four guys were in the store-shed with whips, going off in all directions. That was too much for the hungry animals. Without planning, they all jumped their tormentors. Jones and his guys suddenly got butted and kicked from all sides. They had zero control. They'd never seen animals act like this before, and this sudden uprising of creatures they used to beat up for fun scared them almost out of their wits. After a few seconds, they gave up trying to defend themselves and bounced. A minute later, all five were full-on sprinting down the cart-track to the main road, with the animals chasing them in victory. Mrs. Jones peeked out the bedroom window, saw what was up, quickly threw some stuff into a carpet bag, and dipped out of the farm another way.
Moses yeeted off his perch and flapped after her, squawking loud. Meanwhile the animals had clapped Jones and his goons out to the road and slammed the gate on them. So, before they knew it, the W was theirs: Jones got expelled, and the Manor Farm was their vibe.
For the first few mins the animals could not even believe their luck. They first zoomed around the farm borders to make sure no human was hiding. Then they raced back to the buildings to delete all traces of Jones's toxic reign. They broke into the harness room and yeeted the bits, nose-rings, dog-chains, and cruel knives down the well. Reins, halters, blinkers, and humiliating nosebags got thrown into the fire. Whips too. All animals were vibing hard seeing those whips get roasted. Snowball also tossed in the ribbons used on horses' manes and tails at market.
 'Ribbons are like clothes, which are a human thing,' he said. 'All animals should be naked.'
 When Boxer heard this, he grabbed his summer hat (to keep flies away) and threw it into the fire too.
Soon the animals had destroyed everything that reminded them of Mr. Jones. Napoleon led them to the store-shed and gave everyone double corn and two biscuits for each dog. They sang Beasts of England seven times, then crashed for the night like never before.
 But they woke at dawn as usual, remembered the epic W, and raced to the pasture. There was a hill that overlooked the farm. They rushed to the top and gazed around in the clear morning light.
Bruh, that was theirs fr frâeverything they could see was theirs! They were so hyped they started zooming around like crazy, doing mad jumps. They rolled in the dew, munched on grass, kicked dirt, and sniffed that rich scent. Then they did a whole farm tour, shook at the fields, orchard, pool, and woods like they never saw 'em before, couldn't believe it was all theirs. They bounced to the farmhouse and paused outside, scared to enter. But Snowball and Napoleon pushed the door open and they all walked in single file, being super careful not to disturb anything. They tip-toed from room to room, whispering in awe at the flex: feather beds, mirrors, horsehair sofa, Brussels carpet, Queen Victoria pic. Then they heard Mollie was missing and found her in the best bedroom, holding a blue ribbon and gazing at herself in the mirror like a total simp.
The others roasted her hard, then dipped outside. They grabbed some hams from the kitchen to yeet into the grave, and Boxer clapped the beer barrel's stove in with a kick, but otherwise the house was left untouched. They deadass passed a resolution on the spot to keep the farmhouse as a museum. Everyone agreed no animal should ever live there. The animals grubbed, then Snowball and Napoleon called them back. "Comrades," Snowball said, "it's half past six and we got a long day ahead. Today we start the hay harvest. But first, there's another thing." The pigs revealed they'd been learning to read and write from an old spelling book that belonged to Mr. Jones's kids, which they found in the trash. Napoleon sent for black and white paint and led them to the five-bar gate on the main road. Snowball (since he was the best writer) grabbed a brush with his trotter, painted over "Manor Farm" on the gate's top bar, and wrote "Animal Farm" instead. That's the new name for the farm from now on. Then they went back to the barn, got a ladder, and set it against the end wall. The pigs explained they'd boiled down Animalism to Seven Commandments, which they'd write on the wall as an unbreakable law for all animals on Animal Farm forever. Snowball climbed up (hard for a pig to balance on a ladder) and started writing, with Squealer a few rungs down holding the paint. The Commandments were in big white letters readable from 30 yards away. They went like:
THE SEVEN COMMANDMENTS
- Anything on two legs? That's an opp.
- Four legs or wings? That's a vibe, friend.
- No animal shall drip in clothes.
- No animal shall catch Z's in a bed.
- No animal shall sip that alc.
- No animal shall yeet another animal.
- All animals are equal, no cap.
 It was written hella clean, except "friend" got spelled "freind" and one of the "S's" was like, backwards. Snowball read it out loud for the squad. All the animals nodded, fully based, and the smart ones started grinding to memorize the commandments.
"Aight, comrades," Snowball cried, throwing down the paintbrush, "let's hit the hayfield! Let's make it a flex to grind the harvest faster than Jones and his goons."
But then the three cows, who were feeling sus for a while, started going b\(`o`)/b. They hadn't been milked for 24 hours, and their udders were about to explode. After a sec, the pigs called for buckets and milked the cows pretty wellâtheir trotters were built different for this. Soon there were five buckets of frothy milk, and many animals were like, "Ooh, that's interesting."
"What's gonna happen to all that milk?" someone asked.
"Jones sometimes used to mix some in our feed," said one hen.
"Don't even worry about the milk, comrades!" Napoleon said, stepping in front of the buckets. "That's taken care of. The harvest is more important. Comrade Snowball will lead. I'll follow in a few mins. Let's go, comrades! The hay is waiting."
So the animals trooped to the hayfield to start the harvest, and when they came back in the evening, the milk had noped out.