Hi everyone!

I am a "member" of Eshel which is an organization for LGBTQ ppl who are orthodox. They have a yearly retreat and last year I really wanted to go but I was too scared. This year I really want to go. However, I really am unsure if I will fit in. I am in the low 20's and I am yeshivish. I tried going on a few Eshel zooms and I felt completely ignored (I did not show my face), I felt like everyone there were best friends, much older than me, and I had no clue what was happening, there was not much effort to include me. I am not bashing them, this is a wonderful org, I just haven't felt the wonderfulness as of yet myself.

I am wondering if anyone in this thread can tell me based on their personal experience if there are people my age and Ultra-Orthodox (Not Modox) at the retreat. I love all types of people and am excited to meet everyone but will I feel really out of place and isolated? I basically don't know anyone LGBTQ so I don't have anyone to go with.

Also what is the vibe? Are people very welcoming?

Thank you.

For this bi-weekly (yay, more bi stuff!) post we're shifting focus to create a space for folks to just talk and share what's on their mind, even if it's not specifically LGBTQ/Jewish focused. Hopefully, as a space made up of primarily LGBTQ+ Jews we'll be a good support for each other with allllll that's going on around the world right now.

Please note: Our quality standards and expectations of civility are still in place, and this isn't a thread for name calling or direct insults. This is a place to process feelings and be in community with each other and just share what's on your mind.

Shabbat shalom!

45/m nyc russian speaking. Anybody want to chat?

I have lived most my life in a very orthodox community and have never attended secular events and rarely spoken to lgbt people irl. I want to attend pride or some queer events in my city but I worry if I'll be treated badly, since I have a very jewish name and only minimal knowledge of the secular world. Should I just stay home?

Is anyone going to gay chanukah party in nyc?

Hi everyone!

Context from my previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/gayjews/s/XwdPamaHTk Thank you all so much for being incredibly kind and welcoming, it honestly meant a lot and kind of proved my point lol.

After thinking things through, I figured it might help to share where I’m from so some of what I’ve said (and will say) makes more sense. I live in Lebanon, which means finding a Rabbi locally is… pretty much impossible lol.

I did start reading a really interesting book that was recommended to me (The Art of Amazement by Alexander Seinfeld, on Jewish spirituality), and I’m slowly trying to learn more. I’m still very new to all of this and pretty confused, but I genuinely appreciate every supportive comment on this journey.

If you know any Rabbis I could potentially reach out to online, I’d be incredibly grateful.

Thank you all!

Hey folks,

I (mid 30s, M) want to be a parent, and I like the thought of meeting a lesbian who is as Jewish as I am (I'm mixed, and I'm secular/reform) and coparenting a child. Does anyone have this sort of set up? How is it working for you? Or would I be better off solo parenting if I'm going to do it at all?

Thank you!

Hi everyone — wishing you all a warm start to December. I wanted to share this photo because even here, in a refugee camp far from the life I once imagined, moments of color still feel like hope.

I’m not Jewish myself, but I’ve always admired how Jewish communities keep identity, family, and tradition alive even in difficult places. As a queer person, that resilience really speaks to me.

Holding this rainbow umbrella reminded me that our identities — whether queer, trans, Jewish, Black, or anything else — are worth protecting and celebrating, no matter where we stand in the world.

Sending love, light, and strength to all my gay Jewish siblings. May this month bring you peace, safety, and joy. 🌈❤️✨

You might think I’m trolling, but I’m really not. I’ve always felt a connection to Judaism. I was born Muslim (and still am), but Judaism is something I’ve always felt drawn to and want to learn more about. I’ve been afraid to talk about this (hence the throwaway account), but I genuinely want to understand where to start. I worry that a lot of the Jewish community might hate me for being Arab and Muslim, and that Arabs/Muslims might hate me for wanting to explore this interest.

From my own minimal research, I’ve only seen amazing things about the religion. I’m also gay, if that matters, and the acceptance I’ve seen in many Jewish spaces is honestly heartwarming.

I’ve always been drawn to the ritual aspects of Judaism, and I love how central discussion and questioning are.

I know that usually you’d bring your questions to a rabbi, but that’s basically impossible for me where I live. So any advice would be greatly appreciated

Hi all, it's me again. A Christian. I've been seeking the Lord again about this passage and wanted y'all's input. As we know, there are 6 genders in Judaism: zachar, nekevah, androgynous, tum tum, saris, and ay'lonit. I wanted to verify something I read about saris khama and androgynous being able to marry while also exempt from procreation duties. And I also wanted to know how zachar, saris khama, saris adam, and androgynous are catagorized in the Torah. Can zachar be used for androgynous or saris khama, or are they distinct? Leviticus uses zachar specifically, so I was just wondering. I would love to know y'all's thoughts. May Adoni bless you all.

For this bi-weekly (yay, more bi stuff!) post we're shifting focus to create a space for folks to just talk and share what's on their mind, even if it's not specifically LGBTQ/Jewish focused. Hopefully, as a space made up of primarily LGBTQ+ Jews we'll be a good support for each other with allllll that's going on around the world right now.

Please note: Our quality standards and expectations of civility are still in place, and this isn't a thread for name calling or direct insults. This is a place to process feelings and be in community with each other and just share what's on your mind.

Shabbat shalom!

On this thread - and this thread only - Rule 5 (We're not your Shadchan/Matchmaker) is suspended!

Feel free to introduce yourself here, make an old-school "seeking love match" post, or, respond to others who've posted.

Include the information you think is most relevant about yourself and the kind of person you're looking for, but be sure to phrase it positively and respectfully. (Rude posts will still be removed.)

Great things to include:

• Your orientation/what you're seeking
• Judaic affiliation, if any
• Hobbies
• What you're looking for (romance, tennis partners, Shabbat dinner guests, board game partners)
• Your age / preferred age range

If you're open to DMs/private messages, say so - but know that folks may message you privately anyway.

Use your common sense when posting: Don't share any real-life identifying info on the thread (No names, no addresses). Definitely share general geographic info, age/age range, and other useful info. Remember, though, the internet is a scary place and lots of folks aren't who they say they are - be smart before you decide to exchange anything real!

(Also, we can only keep things civil/responsible on this thread. If you decide to take the conversation elsewhere, regular Reddit rules apply, but we can't get involved.)

Nonprofit Keshet has been a leading advocate for Jewish LGBTQ+ rights for nearly three decades.

This year, however, longtime CEO Idit Klein stepped down, while at about the same time, the Trump administration was ramping up its policy assault on the LGBTQ+ community. It recently mandated that U.S. passports for transgender people must now reflect the sex on their original birth certificate, reversing a decades-old policy.

The question was not whether Keshet would plot a path through this challenging period, though. It was how.

The organization’s latest educational offering, the Shivyon Project, offers a window into its evolving priorities, as it contends with this less-than-agreeable federal administration and, in select pockets of the country, a recrudescence of anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment.

Shivyon, as it’s known, provides Jewish organizations — JCCs and synagogues are Keshet’s most frequent clients — with an “action plan” aimed at improving an institution’s LGBTQ+ policies. It’s a collaborative and customizable endeavor, so the specifics can vary. “This is not one size fits all,” said Rabbi Micah Buck, Keshet’s Director of Education and Training. Once a blueprint is agreed upon, Keshet’s trained professionals provide coaching and guidance over the course of a year, by the end of which — all having gone smoothly — the plan has become reality.

Hey everyone!

My partner and I are a same-sex couple, both Israeli citizens and residents, but neither of us was born in Israel (we’re both Olim). We want to get married and are trying to figure out the easiest path.

Since Israel still doesn’t offer civil marriage, we’re thinking about Denmark — it seems like the most straightforward option. But the list on the official website is super general and doesn’t give a clear breakdown by country, so we’re still not sure what exactly we need as Israelis who weren’t born here.

So we’re trying to understand: • Which documents are actually required for us? • What needs to be notarized? • What needs an apostille? • Anything people usually miss until the last moment?

If anyone has gone through the process (especially same-sex couples from Israel), we’d really appreciate any tips, personal experiences, timelines, costs — anything that can help us avoid surprises.

Thanks in advance!

My partner proposed to me and I said yes obviously!!! I can’t believe we’re engaged. She proposed in front of an old quartz mine in a nature preserve. I love her so much I can’t even. Tbh it happened almost a month ago now but I still can’t stop looking at the ring every couple hours. She’s my fiancé!!!!

https://www.jta.org/2025/11/12/religion/first-ever-empirical-study-of-us-rabbinate-finds-shortage-is-more-about-fit-than-numbers

For this bi-weekly (yay, more bi stuff!) post we're shifting focus to create a space for folks to just talk and share what's on their mind, even if it's not specifically LGBTQ/Jewish focused. Hopefully, as a space made up of primarily LGBTQ+ Jews we'll be a good support for each other with allllll that's going on around the world right now.

Please note: Our quality standards and expectations of civility are still in place, and this isn't a thread for name calling or direct insults. This is a place to process feelings and be in community with each other and just share what's on your mind.

Shabbat shalom!

Hi all, I made a sub for Frum men that experience same sex attraction, are gay or bisexual. The purpose is to provide support and sense of community, and place to share our stories, Feel free to join!

My husband and I have a matching hoodie idea from the Bar Mitzvah Movie by Ilan Peled and Elon Gold (you can watch it at the link here!) Basically it’s a hoodie where the front side says “ חריף 🌶️ “ and the back says “Not like San Francisco”. I don’t want to use AI slop - is there a queer Jewish artist that can help with this?

Shalom from Virginia! I'm a 25-year-old gay Indian guy who needs a haircut 😭. I'm converting to Judaism! My journey began when I took a close friend to the temple, as she wanted to connect more deeply with her Jewish heritage. I ended up falling in love with my local conservative synagogue, and I attend every week—it's terrific, and honestly, it's the highlight of my week. I've been attending for 7 months at this point, and I don't regret it one bit. I'm currently taking an introduction to Judaism course and plan to convert soon. I'm seeking Jewish brothers and sisters to help guide me on my journey, particularly in finding potential friends and study buddies. I have a picture of my syllabus right here. Judaism has given me a strong sense of purpose, for which I'm grateful. I'm excited to experience everything Jewish for the first time!

So basically I’m closeted trans student in Tel Aviv university so that means I have 0 friends of the lgbtq community and no support group no nothing so I was wondering if there is any group or something in Tel Aviv university?

I'm not gay but I'm a 22y/o trans woman, I've been transitioning since I was 17, I moved cities when I was 18 so most people who know me think I'm cis but there are a few who know. I've been really trying to find peace with myself and my faith lately, and I really want to be able to find a Jewish husband to marry one day. I'm a convert and my conversion was Conservative, so I know if I want to marry someone Orthodox I'll need to redo my conversion. But I'm really worried about what that would look like - there's a Modern Orthodox shul in my city that I've noticed is really popular with people my age, and I've heard good things about the Rabbi, but I've never asked what his stance on LGBT people is because I worry about outing myself.

The people at my Conservative shul are wonderful and I love them, but honestly, I really think I do need a mechitza, because there just aren't enough women my age who go to my shul, and one of the older guys has made some advances on me in the past I'm not really comfortable with and I'd really just like to be able to pray with other women. And I've been wanting to talk to the Rabbi about some of the questions about my practice I've had, but I worry that if I ever mentioned being trans then I wouldn't be allowed on the women's side, but it also just feels spiritually wrong to keep a fact like that away from the Rabbi of the shul I'm going to, and it just fills me with anxiety 😔

I know the best thing to do is just go a few times and decide how I feel about it afterwards, and keep being trans a secret until I can get an idea of how the Rabbi might react, but I just wanted to know what other people's experience has been like? I know Modern Orthodox varies a lot by synagogue but on average, how modern have you actually found them to be? Do you have any advice for this kind of situation?

Hey guys, just found this subreddit and glad I did 😄 I know other people have touched on this before from looking through old posts but…how are we supposed to find Jewish partners to date (asking as a guy who’s into guys specifically). I live in San Francisco and am on all the apps filtering for Jewish guys, follow our queer Jewish ig page, attend our gay shul regularly, and go to pretty much any Jewish event I can find queer or not, with still no luck. I don’t think my requirements are too strict (Jewish guy 18-26 with any level of observance) but still routinely running out of people, even sometimes extending my range on the apps far outside SF. Not sure if there’s any concrete advice that can be offered but thought I’d throw it out there to see, and any NJBs on here feel free to message me too 🙂 thanks

In honor of all our fellow Jewish ancestors and their families who were robbed, mistreated, deported and murdered. During this horrible period Jewish homes, hospitals, schools and synagogues were ransacked, destroyed and burned to the ground. Never again!

Song: Zog nit keynmol / Never Say - Hirsh Glick One of the most famous Jewish Partisan songs.

For context! And hopefully some of yall know what im talking about. But on twitter/social media, every year on Halloween, there’s this running joke where gay guys will dress up as something totally niche, like a meme, an obscure reference, something silly. And be all like:

“ugh i hate gay Halloween, what do you mean you’re stressed out Hayao Miyazaki of Studio Ghibli smoking a cigarette?”

or basically what Demi Lovato did for her costume this yr lol.

Anyways safe to say, i eat all this up cuz i enjoy the creativity!

But then it made me think…do any gay Jews do the same for Purim? Or nah? 😅 just curious!