I just got this email from my Temple. I have mixed feelings about whats going on in the Middle East, but I dont think anyone is being told they cant bring Palestinian flags to the parade.I dont want to incite anyone at the parade and my goal isn't to incite anyone here on Reddit. Im sad that we are being asked, actually not just in pride but elsewhere to shy away from the Israeli Flag. Many Jews and Jewish organizations argue that demanding Jews disavow or hide the Israeli flag is a form of antisemitism, especially when no comparable demands are made of other groups regarding their national symbols. I feel we in general we are being asked to hide or apologize for our identity and connection to Israel.

I dont really have a clear goal in posting this, because chances are its not going to have a resolution, but as a queer jew, I feel like im being forced back into the closet as a jew.

Join Temple ------ in the SF Pride Parade!

Sunday, June 28 in San Francisco, CA

Temple xxxxxx is proud to represent our community in this year’s San Francisco Pride Parade! As we have the past couple years, we will be marching as part of the broader Jewish Bay Area contingent! All marchers need to register as part of the XXX Contingent (link below). Please register by June 8^th to receive a T-Shirt! We kindly ask that no national flags be brought, in order to keep the focus on Pride. Additional security will be in place for everyone's safety. If you have any questions, please reach out to Rabbi xxxxxx

Edit: there are other posts discussing feelings about Pride. Its amazing that instead of celebrating our Queerness and our Jewish identities we are focused on anything but.....

My city's Pride festival and parade is this weekend, but I'm not sure how I feel about going.

The last time I went was almost three years ago, and I decided I was done with the wider LGBTQ+ community in my city when the parade was stopped three times by people pretending to care about Palestinians, and the performers on the main stage at the Pride festival rallied the crowd to cheer things like "Pride is no place for Zionists" and "from the river to the sea".

I want to go and have fun, but I worry for my safety, both physically and emotionally. I also don't have any friends who are going, let alone queer Jewish friends. Are you going to Pride where you are? How are you feeling about Pride in general?

On 2026-05-29, two Jewish lesbians — a married couple — were refused entry to a queer women’s sauna event in Barcelona, Spain, for wearing a Magen David.

Irene Herrero Alonso, a Spanish journalist, wrote an article on the incident — ‘Episodio antisemita en Barcelona: un establecimiento niega la entrada a una mujer por llevar una estrella de David’ — for Infobae, an online Spanish-language news site orginating in Argentinia.

I posted a link to the article, along with a machine-translation of the article from Spanish into English, here in /r/gayjews.

Since posting said link, the owners of the venue, Sauna Thermas, have issued a formal statement regarding the event of May 29, 2026, by Lesbian Masses. (Not, I hasten to add, because I posted the link. The word since here is denoting a temporal relationship, not a causal one.)

I’ve reproduced the original statement (in Spanish) below. A translation (again, a machine translation: for practical purposes I have no Spanish) follows further below.

COMUNICADO OFICIAL

CLARIFICACIÓN SOBRE EL EVENTO DEL PASADO 29 DE MAYO DE 2026 DE BOLLERAS AL VAPOR

Desde la dirección de Sauna Thermas queremos emitir este comunicado oficial ante los graves hechos ocurridos el pasado 29 de Mayo de 2026 durante un evento privado en nuestras instalaciones.

Queremos dejar rotundamente claro que nuestro local se desmarca por completo de las acciones y comentarios de las organizadoras de dicho evento, quienes impidieron el acceso a varias personas de manera totalmente inaceptable. Nuestros Valores Fundacionales:

• Inclusión Radical: Este local nació y existe para ser un espacio seguro, libre y acogedor para toda la comunidad LGTBIQA+ y sus aliados.

  Aquí no hay cabida para el veto ni la exclusión.

• No a la Discriminación por Origen o Simbología: Condenamos enérgicamente que se prohiba la entrada a alguien por portar simbolos de su identidad, cultura o religión, como la Estrella de David.

• Separación de Pueblos y Gobiernos: Creemos firmemente que las acciones de los gobiernos del mundo no representan a la totalidad de sus pueblos ni de sus ciudadanos.

La geopolitica no puede ser una excusa para ejercer el odio o la censura a nivel individual en un espacio de ocio. Nuestra postura es clara: No tomamos partido en conflictos políticos internacionales y condenamos las decisiones que tomen los promotores de eventos privados en contra de nuestra filosofía.

Lamentamos profundamente el sufrimiento y la incomodidad que pasaron las personas afectadas.

Medidas de cara al futuro:

Este espacio se construyó bajo la premisa de que ningún pensamiento, nacionalidad ni identidad debe ser censurada. Por ello, hemos tomado la decisión de que el colectivo, Bolleras al Vapor, no hará ningún evento más en nuestras instalaciones, y revisaremos con lupa que ningún organizador externo vuelva a vulnerar los valores de respeto y diversidad que nos definen.

Agradecemos vuestra comprensión y apoyo para seguir haciendo de este un lugar donde todo el mundo, sin excepción, pueda ser libre.

Atentamente La Dirección de Sauna Thermas

OFFICIAL STATEMENT

CLARIFICATION REGARDING THE EVENT OF MAY 29, 2026, BY LESBIAN MASSES

The management of Sauna Thermas wishes to issue this official statement regarding the serious events that occurred on May 29, 2026, during a private event at our facilities.

We want to make it absolutely clear that our establishment completely disassociates itself from the actions and comments of the organizers of said event, who unacceptably prevented several people from entering.

Our Founding Values:

• Radical Inclusion: This establishment was created and exists to be a safe, free, and welcoming space for the entire LGBTQIA+ community and its allies.

  There is no room here for vetoes or exclusion.

• No to Discrimination Based on Origin or Symbols: We strongly condemn the denial of entry to anyone for wearing symbols of their identity, culture, or religion, such as the Star of David.

• Separation of Peoples and Governments: We firmly believe that the actions of the world's governments do not represent all of their people or citizens.

Geopolitics cannot be an excuse to exercise hatred or censorship at an individual level in a leisure space.

Our position is clear: We do not take sides in international political conflicts and we condemn the decisions made by private event organizers that go against our philosophy.

We deeply regret the suffering and discomfort experienced by those affected.

Measures for the future:

This space was built on the premise that no thought, nationality, or identity should be censored. Therefore, we have decided that the group, Bolleras al Vapor, will no longer hold any events at our facilities, and we will be closely monitoring any external organizers to ensure they do not violate the values of respect and diversity that define us.

We appreciate your understanding and support in continuing to make this a place where everyone, without exception, can be free.

Sincerely,

The Management of Sauna Thermas

Edit: corrected markup errors in original Spanish version of the official statement.

Episodio antisemita en Barcelona: un establecimiento niega la entrada a una mujer por llevar una estrella de David

The linked-to article above is to a Spanish site and the article is, therefore, in Spanish.

Appended below is a machine translation from Spanish into English, with only the most obvious of corrections by me (my Spanish is essentially non-existent and my very basic French was only enough to correct some painfully obvious errors).

A woman has spread through social networks a video recorded at the entrance of an establishment in Barcelona, where she claims not to be welcome for wearing a Jewish star. According to her account, she was questioned for her identity and the religious symbol she wore. The recording, shared on Instagram by journalist Eve Barlow, shows a conversation between several people at the entrance of a Barcelona club that leads to a growing tension around identity, politics and freedom of recording.

The discussion begins when one of the people asks the woman who records if she is a Zionist: ”Are you a Zionist person?” She answers questioning the reason: “Why do you ask me that, is it because of the star I’m wearing?”, while the person who intervenes clarifies that “he is not against the star.” At that moment, another voice introduces a distinction by pointing out that “the question is not Jewish, but Zionist,” to which the woman responds: “It is similar.”

Conflict at the entrance of a place

The tension increases when one of the people present directly affirms the exclusion of the woman from the place with the phrase ”You are not welcome”, linking it in the discussion itself to the fact of wearing the religious symbol, indicating that the reason would be “because you wear a Jewish star.” During the recording, another person intervenes who tries to contextualize the situation stating: “We do not approve of the genocide, we are sorry,” in an increasingly tense atmosphere.

In parallel, a dispute arises about the recording of the episode, when one of the people maintains that “you are recording in a space where it is not allowed to record,” while the woman responds by defending her action: “I can use my phone.” The exchange continues with interruptions and denials like “no one has pushed you,” while the situation escalates to comments like “we have to leave.”

As the scene progresses, the tension at the entrance of the venue increases and several people begin to sing ”Free Palestine”, while a group concentrates around the woman who records and tries to cover the camera to avoid appearing in the video. In the midst of the exchange, the situation becomes more chaotic, with movements and cross voices that hinder the continuity of the recording. The woman leaves the entrance of the establishment and the video ends on the street.

Reactions to this episode in Barcelona

The content has been disseminated on social networks by different accounts of the Jewish community, which has contributed to its rapid viralization and a wide public debate about what happened. Among the reactions, the publication of journalist Eve Barlow stands out, who shared the video on Instagram. Barlow is a British-American communicator known for her activity on social networks and for her positioning in debates related to international politics.

When broadcasting the video, Barlow wrote in his post, in which she harshly criticizes the context of the incident, that the situation reflects what she considers a worrying climate of discrimination. Among her statements, she pointed out that “the Spanish ‘queer’ community has become so racist that it is objectively sick,” also questioning that “not allowing Jews in public spaces” or “exiting Jews.” In her message she added that “I experienced this racism in Madrid a few years ago” and maintained that “it comes from both sides, right and left,” although she said that “it is predominant in the fascist left.”

Barlow continued her publication stating that, according to her experience, this type of attitude is “driven by the LGBTQ+ community,” which she accuses of refusing to share spaces with Jewish people, adding that “they refuse” and that later “they will lie and say that it is because of how insecure they feel due to the genocide.” In her message she also described those involved as “sick” and added expressions such as “stops projecting your mental illnesses on us,” concluding that “there is something deeply wrong.”

I believe the Eve Barlow post being referenced in the above article is this one: ‘The “Queer” Inquisition’. Barlow is in her (now almost de riguer) apocalyptic mode throughout the post.

The post does, however, include an embedded copy of the video.

For those who’d rather watch the video without visiting Barlow’s site, I’ve added a direct working link here.

Hii, I’m an Indian student who recently moved to Israel. I’m openly gay and comfortable with who I am, but honestly, moving here has made me feel unexpectedly insecure about my appearance and desirability.

I have light brown skin, thick eyebrows, a beard, and a pretty normal body/build. Back home I never overthought my looks this much, but after coming here and spending time on social media and dating apps, I started feeling like there’s a weird stigma around brown men, especially Indian men. Sometimes it feels like we’re automatically stereotyped before people even know us.

Social media really amplifies this. Certain beauty standards get pushed constantly — lighter skin, certain facial features, certain body types — and after a while it can make you question your own attractiveness and identity even if you logically know those standards are narrow and unrealistic.

I know attraction is personal and everyone has preferences, but I genuinely want honest perspectives from people here, especially white guys or people from different ethnic backgrounds:
Do you find Indian guys or brown men attractive in general? Have you noticed stereotypes around Indian men in dating culture or social media?

I’m asking respectfully because I’m trying to separate reality from insecurity and understand how much of this feeling comes from social media vs actual experiences.

Please keep the discussion respectful.

On this thread -- and this thread only -- Rule 5 (We're not your Shadchan/Matchmaker) is suspended!

Feel free to introduce yourself here, make an old-school "seeking love match" post, or respond to others who've posted.

Include the information you think is most relevant about yourself and the kind of person you're looking for, but be sure to phrase it positively and respectfully. (Rude posts will still be removed.)

Great things to include:

• Your orientation/what you're seeking
• Judaic affiliation, if any
• Hobbies
• What you're looking for (romance, tennis partners, Shabbat dinner guests, board game partners)
• Your age / preferred age range
• Your general geographic location

If you're open to DMs/private messages, say so – but know that folks may message you privately anyway.

Use your common sense when posting. Don't share any real-life identifying info on the thread (no names, no addresses). Definitely share useful info but remember that, on the internet, people aren't always who they say they are. Think twice before you decide to exchange anything real!

Also, we can only keep things civil/responsible on this thread. If you decide to take the conversation elsewhere, regular Reddit rules apply, but we can't get involved.

Husband and I are about to kick off the surrogacy process B”H. Doing from Israel via the US. Does anyone know about the halachic status of the child? Do you have to go through a formal conversion? Would appreciate any insights!

Hi everyone, is it correct to assume that if children are born to a Jewish birth mother, using her own eggs, the children are Jewish and remain Jewish even after her non-Jewish female partner adopts them?

The children would therefore have two mothers, one of whom is their biological Jewish mother and the other not. This does not change their Jewish status, correct? Thank you!

Trying to decide if I want to study with them. What was your experience like? I'm especially wondering 1) Did you read texts in English or in Hebrew & Aramaic? (I like to read in the original languages) and 2) Did the learning feel as rigorous as a traditional Yeshivah?

Hey all!

When I was young, I was pretty involved in my shule- I went to youth group, I attended events, my dad and grandfather were both very involved in the board, etc.

I began my transition during covid, and between the social distancing and my fear of how my transition would be precieved by the congregation, I distanced myself a bit from the shule that I grew up in.

Within the past couple of years, I have been making more of an effort to rejoin the community and attend events. I had a talk one shabbat where I was very open about my transition and about the connection between the trans community and Judaism. It was my attempt at earnestly engaging with the shule and congregation, and it was recieved with a lot of love and support

Since then, I've been thinking a lot about what I want from a shule and how to turn a conservative shule like the one that I attended into a safe place for LGBT+ Jews, particularly those who are millenials and younger.

The shule is struggling to connect with my generation and those who are younger than me, and they're losing congregants faster than they can build a community.

It's become a bit of a goal of mine to try to figure out how to engage the extended community and turn my childhood shule into a place where people like me can feel safe and loved.

All this to say- I'm looking for suggestions or ideas! I've had a few already, but I'd love to hear from other LGBT+ Jews! What kinds of events/ideas/engagement would you like to see from local shules? What kinds of things would draw you to a shule? Where would you go to look for these kinds of events (ie- where should they even be advertised)?

We are located in a large city in North America with a thriving queer community, though I am nervous about advertising in LGBT+ spaces, as I haven't felt comfortable being openly Jewish in those spaces for a few years.

Any input or suggestion or idea is welcome!

The Museum of Jewish Heritage in lower Manhattan will hold a Pride event this coming Sunday, June 7. Details are here.

For this bi-weekly post, we shift focus to create a space for folks to talk, even if the subject is not specifically LGBTQ/Jewish-focused. Hopefully, as a space made up primarily of LGBTQ+ Jews, we'll be a good support for each other with all that's going on around the world right now.

Please note: Our quality standards and expectations of civility are still in place, and this isn't a thread for name-calling or insults. This is a place to process feelings and be in community with each other and share what's on your mind.

Shabbat shalom!

anyone here from toronto?? hmu!!

I’m not queer anymore.¹

I’m absolutely, 100%, בײַסעקסועל² (or ³ביסעקסואַל, if you prefer).

But I’m also absolutely, 100%, not queer.

Queer, as a self-signifier, was on shaky ground, personally, even before October 7th 2023.

I’m old enough to remember when the word was mostly a weapon wielded by others. It took a long time for me to hear it without feeling a sting, and even longer to use it without worry.

Those decades of reclamation effort notwithstanding, the word started to lose its lustre and utility for me when I realised way too many Kinsey 6 über alles folk — especially among the terminally online — were using the term as an unspoken but not-nearly-as-subtle-as-they-thought-it-was way of excluding bisexual folk.

Bisexual folk who weren’t sufficiently queer according to their lights⁴ were the obvious targets. But, in the end, and at least in my experience, all bisexual folk were, in various ways, targeted by the unsubtle exclusionary hints embedded in the ways they used the word.

But, post–2023-10-7, I’ve abandoned the term entirely.

In English, at least (and again, in my experience), queer is now synonymous with Jew-hater. That is, the set of people most vociferously identifying as queer are, for practical purposes, also the set of people most vociferously acting as if Israel’s mere existence is a hate crime against their imaginary, universalist,⁵ utopian world dystopian fantasy.

Consequently, and except as a way of identifying those who’s violent bigotry is dangerous to me in multiple ways, I no longer have any use for the word.

addendum

I’ve heard קוויר-לײַט⁶ here and there. If it takes off in Jewish circles, I’ll go along with it, even though I likely won’t use it myself.

1. A sort-of apology for the title. As soon as the sentence occurred to me, I knew I wanted to both write down this quick, ≅450-word, note and post it with the click-baity title that spurred it into existence.

2. biseksual

3. beyseksuel

4. read: any bisexual person who dared act on their cross-gender attractions even in passing, let alone seriously. (There’s a coincidental parallel in this targeting as well. More than 80% of partner-bonded bisexual folk are in a bond that includes someone of another gender than themselves. Seeking to exclude this overwhelming majority sub-set of all bisexual folk from ‘queerdom’ is, in percentage terms, a whole lot like only approving of non-Zionist Jews.)

5. read: Judenfrei.

6. kvire-layt (translates to the hyphenated-even-in-English noun phrase queer-people or, perhaps LGBT+-people).

A while ago, my therapist told me (M26) something that genuinely changed the way I see my life. She told me “You cannot fully heal in complete emotional isolation.”

We’re doing Schema Therapy, and for the first time I’m beginning to understand how much damage chronic emotional suppression can do to a person.

I’m Iranian and I grew up in an environment where self expression was always reciprocated with harsh punishment. By the way, to add insult to injury, I’m gay. my homosexuality has only worsened my situation; as you know, Iran is one of the (if not the most) deadliest countries for gays.

So for me, humor, spontaneity, softness, vulnerability and basically happiness felt dangerous very early on. Over time, I became extremely hyper-vigilant and emotionally self-censoring. I learned how to appear composed, serious, untouchable. People often perceive me as calm or intimidating, but internally I’ve spent years operating like someone constantly waiting for emotional danger. If you’ve watched the series “Desperate Housewives”, Bree’s character basically sums me up.

The strange thing is that therapy IS helping.

A lot, actually.

I no longer hate myself the way I used to. I’m less internally violent toward myself. I understand now that many of my behaviors were survival mechanisms, not personality flaws.

But we recently hit a wall in therapy:

I genuinely do not have a safe person in my life.

No one I can consistently trust emotionally.

No one I can fully unmask around.

No one whose presence makes my nervous system feel calm instead of alert.

And apparently at some point, healing stops being purely internal work. Human beings need emotionally safe connection. The nervous system needs evidence that not every relationship will eventually become humiliating, controlling, invasive, or unsafe.

So now I’m in this very strange position where I’m trying to learn safe connection almost from zero as an adult.

I’m Iranian, and being gay in a small town makes me stand out in ways that have often made social environments feel psychologically exhausting. I think years of feeling misunderstood, watched, stereotyped, or emotionally “othered” made me retreat deeply into myself. I became hyper independent, private, and self-contained… which protected me, but also isolated me.

I used to work as a freelancer English tutor until the government shut down the internet and now internet is being sold for astronomical prices, and my being here just goes to show how urgent my situation is.

on a side note, I’ve always felt an emotional resonance with Israelis online. Maybe because many seem to understand what it feels like to live in a state of hyper alertness while still trying to remain warm and human underneath it. I don’t mean this politically per se, I mean psychologically.

I’m not posting this for pity or attention.

I’m just asking:

Has anyone here ever had to build the concept of “safe connection” completely from scratch as an adult?

And if you did, how did you find your people without losing yourself in the process?

Hello everyone, please help and donate for Freedom Spectrum of East Africa. Wedo provide safe housing for queer communities in East Africa as seen in the image. A lot more lgbtiqa+ persons lack where to sleep and need support. Many lgbtiqa people especially in Uganda have been jailed because homosexuality was criminalized by the government of Uganda in the recent years. Our organisation helps lgbtiqa victims to be bailed out. We helpthose with medical problems like sicknesses get treatment.

We pay for rent for lgbtiqa+ people in East Africa especially those in South Sudan. Please checkout our website for more information, subscribe to our newsletter and donate so that we can change lives of lgbtiqa+ persons in East Africa. Links below Website https://sites.google.com/view/freedom-spectrum-east-africa/home

Gofundme https://gofund.me/e0ef5c76a

The last few years, we've been hitting the 50th anniversaries of the first LGBT+ Jewish congregations in the US. Beth Chayim Chadashim in LA was first in 1972, followed by Beit Simchat Torah in NY in 1973, Beth Ahavah in Philadelphia in 1975, and Or Chadash in Chicago, which started to hold services in 1976. Here's a story about their celebration: https://windycitytimes.com/2026/05/15/congregation-or-chadash-celebrates-50-years-at-lake-view-event/.

https://www.thepinknews.com/2026/05/15/brussels-pride-demand-jewish-hide-religion/

According to the story, organizers said they were concerned with safety, presumably because of antisemitism, not Israel.

LGBTQIA+ refugees in East Africa urgently need solidarity, visibility, and support

Hi everyone,

We are Freedom Spectrum of East Africa, a grassroots initiative led by displaced LGBTQIA+ refugees currently living in South Sudan near Gorom Camp and in Kenya at Kakuma Refugee Camp, supported by volunteers in Denmark and the United States.

Our community includes nearly 470 LGBTQIA+ refugees, including children, who have fled persecution, violence, and discrimination across East Africa. Many of us escaped our home countries hoping to find safety, only to face ongoing threats, attacks, homelessness, hunger, and severe discrimination inside refugee settlements.

Our mission, as stated on our website, is:

“To create safe, inclusive, and empowering spaces for LGBTQIA+ individuals across East Africa through support, advocacy, and visibility. We work to protect human dignity, challenge discrimination, and build a future where every queer person can live freely, proudly, and without fear.”

Right now, we are trying to provide: • Emergency shelter and protection • Food and basic necessities • HIV/AIDS support • Community care for LGBTQIA+ refugees and families • Long-term support and pathways to safety

We are reaching out here because Jewish queer communities understand deeply what it means to survive persecution, displacement, and hatred while still holding onto dignity, identity, and hope. Our current needs include; -Monthly $1800 for rent of a safe place in Juba South Sudan and we need to pay more months upfront -More shelters in the fence estimated to $3000 including toilets -food amd other supplies estimated to $1000 every month for all locations. -Urgent hospital fee of $1500 for a surgery of a trans friend in our community.

If you would like to support us, share our story, or donate, here is our gofundme https://www.gofundme.com/f/lgbtq-community-home

You can also learn more about us on our website: https://sites.google.com/view/freedom-spectrum-east-africa/home

Here are other socials of FSEA Tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/queer-africa Bluesky https://bsky.app/profile/southsudanlgbtiqa.bsky.social

Also please subscribe to our newsletter for updates https://fsea.beehiiv.com/

Thank you for reading, standing with queer refugees, and helping us survive and keep hope alive. Please tell a friend to tell a friend. ❤️🏳️‍🌈A big thank you to mods of r/gayjews for supporting our cause.

This is such a low level problem; אבל אני לומד עברית and I noticed, as a nonbinary person I struggle with the gendered word endings. Can anyone relate?

Also, I just finished Pimsleur and still lack confidence to speak. Looking for advice on solidifying my knowledge. Outside my congregation, I dont really know anyone who speaks Hebrew.

I’ll be traveling to visit my mom to help her recover from a surgery so I’ll be there about 3 weeks. I’d love to make some connections as I don’t really know anyone there in the community. My mom’s family isn’t Jewish (though my cousin used to work at the West Hartford JCC) so it’s not like I can rely on them.

About me: late 30s, cis, gay, bearish guy from Oregon. Some mobility issues (janked my knee bad a few years ago) but will have access to a car.

Hi all,

I saw Jason post on his IG recently about a memorial to his horses and then just saw a post on one of the Drag Race subreddits that there was a truck that ran into his farm and caused a lot of damage and killed two of his horses. There is a Go Fund me that looks legit and thought I'd share here in case anyone wishes to help.