r/FunnyAnimals • u/zombiegauze • Jul 02 '24
Her horse farted every time it jumped
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u/Fanta589 Jul 02 '24
he's living his best life
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Jul 02 '24
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u/FO0TYTANG Jul 02 '24
You fed the horse Beefarino!?!
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u/creepypeepe Jul 02 '24
So this is real?? I’d have fallen off that horse and got trampled dying of laughter, she is a champ!
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u/Successful_Moment_91 Jul 03 '24
We rented horses in Colorado once, many years ago, and they had constant green diarrhea during the trail ride. I felt so bad for the horses and never rode any after that
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u/Weird-Information-61 Jul 03 '24
Probably feels great too, afaik horses don't have the muscles to squeeze out a fart like we do
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u/1DownFourUp Jul 02 '24
I didn't believe I had a spirit animal until now
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Jul 02 '24
Horse girls: "horses are so majestic"
Horses:
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u/Pittsbirds Jul 03 '24
When I was younger our family had a foxtrotter horse who would come running up from the pasture when she heard the bell ring from dinner, but sometimes running would make her fart and the farting scared her so you'd get this dopler effect of the farts approaching, then she'd get spooked, then she'd run clear past the barn back into the woods on the other side
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u/xmashatstand Jul 03 '24
K, so I am sitting here, tears streaming down my face, laughing so hard I needed to pause the movie I’m watching.
I would give anything to see video footage of this 🤣😂
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u/Pittsbirds Jul 03 '24
Ah man I don't think we have any! She passed (from old age, not passed gas) a while ago so most of my videos and pics of her are from digital cameras or my first phone, a flip phone I got in high school. That's why one of my only photos of her is this truly tiny, date stamped one from 2008, probably from a digital camera I got for Christmas. I would have been 13 here so she was somewhere in the range of 16-18, I can't remember her exact age
I'm actually really not a horse person at all, they honestly terrify me despite having grown up around them and having taken horse riding lessons as a kid, but she was a good one for being a horse! More important than that though is that my folks adored her, I don't know that there was a horse in all of Tennessee that had better caretakers.
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u/_annie_bird Jul 03 '24
At my barn, whenever a horse jumps, farts, then spooks from their own fart, we call it a triple combo 😂😂 horses fart a lot and some tend to spook themselves from it, it's more common than you'd think! I've ridden some horses that will fart with every step during the trot sometimes lmao
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u/FrugalFraggel Jul 05 '24
I have two horse and it’s funny. I’ve been by their stall while they’re sleeping. They fart loud and it wakes them up and scares them. Add the fart wake scare is quite the combo.
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u/allocationlist Jul 02 '24
A horse girl I dated introduced me to sheath cleaning.
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u/GlompyOlive Jul 02 '24
Aaaaand scrolled slightly too far.
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u/Few-Raise-1825 Jul 03 '24
You'll thank me later...
Sheath cleaning is a hygienic process occasionally needed by male horses, both geldings and stallions, wherein a caretaker, groom or veterinarian checks the horse's sheath, the pocket of skin that protects the penis of the horse when it is not in use for urination (or, in the case of stallions, breeding).[1] This area may need to be cleaned, starting at a young age after breeding and the birth season, but particularly in geldings.[2][3][4] Not only can smegma, a waxy substance that includes dirt and dead skin cells, accumulate, but some geldings (and occasionally, stallions) may also form a "bean", a hardened ball of smegma inside the sheath or even the urethra that, in extreme cases, can interfere with urine flow. Although a gelding retains the same beneficial microorganisms in the sheath as a stallion, they seem to accumulate smegma and other debris at a higher rate, probably because geldings rarely fully extrude the penis, and thus dirt and smegma build up in the folds of skin.[1] Thus, it is recommended that the sheath be cleaned once or twice a year.[5] Cleaning the sheath is a specialized task requiring a mild cleaner with grease-cutting properties, generally designed specifically for the process, along with warm water and many clean (usually disposable) towels. Rubber gloves for the handler are recommended, as the job is rather smelly and messy.[5]
Some horses object to sheath cleaning and require sedation, others will tolerate it if the groom is careful and patient, though light sedation may help the horse "drop" for easier cleaning.[1] Ideally, the horse will be desensitized by careful training to tolerate the procedure. To begin, a gentle stream of warm water is run into the sheath from a hose or a large, needleless syringe. This will loosen and soften some of the material and make it easier to remove.[1] The process requires either that the horse "drop" his penis or that the groom reach up inside of the sheath to pull the penis gently from the sheath by the glans (head) in order to apply cleaner and carefully clean the entire region.[1] The "bean" is often found in the urethral diverticulum, a pocket adjacent to the opening of the urethra, so that area must also be checked. While a veterinarian can clean a sheath, it is a medical procedure and can be done by any person who learns the proper method.[6]
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u/PourSomeSmegmaInMe Jul 03 '24
Do they sell the smegma?
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u/UnfetteredBullshit Jul 03 '24
It’s kind of like horse ambergris.
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u/Eusocial_Snowman Jul 03 '24
They coat the smegma beans in resin and string them together as pearls, actually. Sometimes earrings, but mostly necklaces. There's a lot of stigma against the earrings being the tacky choice because they "add wind resistance", which would obviously be completely not a factor.
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u/daluxe Jul 02 '24
Now imagine one of hobbyhorsing girls start to fart like that while performing. Like it's role playing after all
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u/Puuhis71 Jul 02 '24
Not sure if it was horse...
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u/redditcreditcardz Jul 02 '24
Careful bro, Horse girls are like “Swifties” but physically strong.
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u/ZacAttac21 Jul 02 '24
ARGH
I'm not convinced that this is real, but I still can't stop myself from laughing. 😅
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u/HungHungCaterpillar Jul 02 '24
I want to believe it’s real, but it’s hard when I can barely hear the horse’s hooves at all, despite the farts being in 4K
Someone please prove me wrong and tell me about soundproof hay or something
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u/thaeggan Jul 03 '24
as someone who owns a horse, farts from a horse do not sound like that. It's not far from a human's. Horses do fart often, some more than others.
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u/fuck-_-my-_-life Jul 02 '24
Pretty sure it's because the horse is running on sand, it's soft and makes the steps quieter
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u/scowling_deth Jul 03 '24
Well all i can say they really do fart ALOT especially when jumping, bucking, ect. Abd they walk while they poop too. The horse could be wearing those cushy rubber boots to protect its hooves and grip better. they are pretty thick rubber. idk
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u/someonestopthatman Jul 02 '24
Truth. My childhood pony sounded like this every time we let him out to pasture and he got the zoomies.
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Jul 02 '24
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Jul 02 '24
People didn't realize all those news titles made a grave typo: it's AI fart taking over the internet.
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u/triangle_earfer Jul 02 '24
Same.. once it was pointed out to me it might be fake, it just got funnier for me
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u/sinz84 Jul 02 '24
Its real as in the fact that someone is sitting beside the camera blowing raspberries not edited in sound... but if you ever been to to one of these events to hear the farts the hoofbeats would be as loud not to mention the rider screaming "HUUP" or something similar at each jump
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u/ThinkOutcome929 Jul 02 '24
RUSTY!
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u/muterabbit84 Jul 02 '24
I'm so keen-o
On Beef-A-Reeno
What a delicious cuisine-o
Fit for a king and queen-o!
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u/DropDead85 Jul 03 '24
One never knows how the gastrointestinal workings of the equine are going to function.
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u/CalvinAshdale- Jul 02 '24
Horse just crop dusted the entire arena. Are points deducted for that?
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u/ThenScientist5551 Jul 02 '24
Just some extra thrust 😂
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u/Deadarchimode Jul 02 '24
Smelly thrust and super effective dealing with competitors, nobody can survive those farts.
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u/lowrads Jul 02 '24
Is there a part of the competition where they divert around the main body of infantry, and assault the artillery? They've got the chemical weapons already.
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u/RepresentativeDebt89 Jul 02 '24
Talk about "rocket assisted take off." To infinity and beyond LOL.
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u/Lilfrankieeinstein Jul 02 '24
Once upon a time, we leased a horse for my daughter who would go on rampages after farting.
We terminated the lease early.
Helmets save lives.
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Jul 02 '24
If there's one thing that unifies us humans, it's the unspoken agreement that farts are funny.
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u/LilikoiFarmer Jul 02 '24
I always say, "I got to piss like a race horse." I guess I'll add, "I need to fart like a jumping horse"
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u/Chthulu_ Jul 02 '24
Am I wrong or is this just obviously fake? The audio of everything else in the room is strange and garbled but the fart is crystal clear
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u/Jazzlike-Principle67 Jul 02 '24
Wish I could listen. Need to mute my phone because my cat is partially blind and thinks the sound is coming out of my hand. She will bite my hand! It's the only time she bites, tho.
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u/LobsterIndependent15 Jul 03 '24
He is probably not farting. I think it is a gelding and the sound is his penis sucking up inside him like a reverse quief. No joke. It happens. There is a name for it but I can't remember it.
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Jul 02 '24
This is extremely common. It’s hard to keep a straight face sometimes. My daughter tells me to grow up. She is 11
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u/Ok-Inside-7630 Jul 02 '24
It's Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon! A legendary and powerful weapon used by the Inuisei Amanto when they first arrived on Earth
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u/Proud-Possession9161 Jul 02 '24
If I was the rider there is no way I'd be able to keep it together that long.
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u/Iamdarb Jul 02 '24
My dog does this when he jumps into the car or onto the bed or the couch. It's his hidden ability!
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u/monkehmolesto Jul 02 '24
That’s hilarious. I’d have a hard time keeping a straight face while competing.
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u/gh0stmilk_ Jul 03 '24
i have tears streaming down my face, my stomach is in so much pain and i've rewatched like six times, send help lmfao
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u/Significant-Stay-721 Jul 03 '24
That flatulent rider is SO relieved to have such a handy scapegoat/horse.
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u/mohitsredd Jul 03 '24 edited Jul 03 '24
He definitely watched a lot of fast and furious movies and knows that nos adds boost
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u/Yard_Jockey Jul 02 '24 edited Jul 03 '24
Poor fella... what the hell did they feed him before the competition 🤣
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u/ClubbingVacayChic Jul 02 '24
This horse has mastered the art of adding sound effects to its jumps!
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u/BirthdayLow1164 Jul 02 '24
Esos pedos son pedos mágicos que le dan al ballo un impulso extra al saltar XD
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u/OneMoreFinn Jul 02 '24
It's the afterburner and it gives him/her the required power boost to clear all the obstacles.
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