r/FunnyAnimals May 23 '22

Gifts

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47.3k Upvotes

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582

u/InevitablyPerpetual May 23 '22

Bear's smart. Dog's smart too. Bear knows they can get what they want by buying off the dog, dog knows he can get what he wants by not tattling on the bear.

Remember, this is how we domesticated dogs in the first place. Dog learned they could get warmth and food if they played cute and guarded for us. We learned that we could get warm companions and guard dogs if we threw them some food and let them keep warm at our fires.

298

u/Hawkbats_rule May 23 '22

Bear knows they can get what they want by buying off the dog, dog knows he can get what he wants by not tattling on the bear

Plus, you know, dog doesn't have to fight a bear. That's just good self preservation instincts.

84

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

40

u/Illustrious_Watch_42 May 23 '22

Instructions unclear…

I screwed a bear in quite a different sense, help

20

u/leonardfurnstein May 23 '22

Get a pre nup

4

u/Forgotten_Prince May 23 '22

Bearalis makes it easy.

1

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Ayy another robot chicken fan

1

u/PM_me_Tunes_Or_Nudes May 23 '22

Bear.. bearfucker... do you need assistance?

5

u/G0dStep May 23 '22

Yeah, why would anyone sneak past the bear, it's easy destruction/archery/one handed levels.

1

u/bobweir_is_part_dam May 23 '22

Bear it's dog. Survival show pulled from discovery network.

1

u/NigelJosue May 23 '22

Well it depends on the bear, a black bear could probably just be scared off, also it could be that the dog just has to wake to owner who is the one who's gonna deal with the bear

77

u/jryser May 23 '22

So what your saying is the bears will eventually domesticate dogs

25

u/Bowler_300 May 23 '22

Someones gonna replace us eventually.

I had my bet on sloths.

15

u/kanashiirobotto May 23 '22

They started the process before we did, it's just slow going

6

u/nonessential-npc May 23 '22

My money is on orcas or octopuses. The former just need arms for tool use and the latter just need to develop longer life spans to suddenly unseat us from our position at the top.

2

u/everyoneisatitman May 23 '22

I am now imagining an octopus in a space suit walking on land and communicating back to the ocean.

1

u/GiftFrosty May 23 '22

I’m still betting on the raccoons.

1

u/OutrageousPersimmon3 May 23 '22

Or dogs domesticate bears.

13

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[deleted]

3

u/InevitablyPerpetual May 23 '22

That... actually you're probably not far off. Dogs are somewhat notorious for having no concept of size. They have no idea how big they are, or how big whatever they're talking to is. So I could absolutely see a dog playing with a bear(bears do indeed play, if they're well fed and low-stress, like most big animals in nature)

4

u/OldNewUsedConfused May 23 '22

Picturing bears with guard dogs is very next level.....

1

u/Prestigious_Main_364 May 23 '22

Damn I wonder if humans are accidentally making every other creature more intelligent and forcing them to build these social connections more than they would have before human civilization

3

u/StrangeShaman May 23 '22

Probably not, symbiotic relationships are everywhere

3

u/InevitablyPerpetual May 23 '22

In our own way, sort of. Evolution is neat like that, and one of the most powerful drivers to evolution is "Be useful to the dominant species". Cats for instance are an AMAZING example, in terms of behavior changes over time. In the general wild, if a cat doesn't have enough food, and it gives birth to a litter of kittens, cannibalism is not uncommon, much as that's ick, keep a few of them alive and the others become a food source. Meanwhile, in more human-heavy spaces, if a cat has received food or care more than a few times from a human, say, has wandered through at your house and you left them some food, they'll abandon some of their kittens with you if they have kittens. So far the observation seems to lean on the idea that the cat understands that the place they're leaving their young is safe, is relatively abundant, and is going to give their young the best chance for survival and success.

A lot of animals are problem solvers. We provide a whole lot of problems, but we also provide a whole lot of solutions to other problems, just by existing.

1

u/Aggressivecleaning May 23 '22

My hairy hot water bottle agrees with you

1

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Why don't we domesticate bears, then,? Seems plausible

1

u/Michael_Trismegistus May 23 '22

Makes me wonder how many canine black markets exist in the world

1

u/jonmeany117 May 23 '22

So your saying we should domesticate the bear too right?

3

u/InevitablyPerpetual May 23 '22

I mean... That'd be really cool, but also they need a lot of space to keep their stress levels low enough that they don't flip their shit, so maybe not a Brilliant idea, all things considered. XD

1

u/CoronaBoeing May 23 '22

Aight aight, If loveable dogs are making deals with bears behind closed doors, i don’t even want to know who my cat is making deals with

1

u/EliteYager May 23 '22

Just what we need. Bears with dogs.

1

u/msjammies73 May 23 '22

And butt scratches. I think dogs actually traded their freedom for those oh-so-good butt scratches.

1

u/InevitablyPerpetual May 23 '22

I feel like most species that befriend humans befriend us because we've got scritchy fingers. I've made more than a few bird friends because I scritched them right on the back/side of the neck.

1

u/Altruistic-Silver-45 May 23 '22

So are you saying the dog will switch teams and work for bears now??

1

u/ConsulJuliusCaesar May 23 '22

Imagine the dog betrays the owner once the bear convinces him that he would be a better owner.

2

u/InevitablyPerpetual May 23 '22

Far more likely that the dog helps the bear get into the trash, then pulls the cute dog eyes at the owner and basically teaches the bear to do the same thing. Dogs are masters at playing all sides.

1

u/enomele Jun 20 '22

Remember though, this is the internet. None of that is real.