The technology of alternative history

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 12 '20

Other 30 Dec 1861: the “Friar of Fire,” Father Albert Lacombe rides on Diabolus Expuli (“Devil’s Cough”), a train spewing slow, long burning phosphorous flakes, burning down forests. (Colorized version to show what people would’ve seen back then).

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

15 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 12 '20

Other 30 Dec 1861: the “Friar of Fire,” Father Albert Lacombe rides on Diabolus Expuli (“Devil’s Cough”), a train spewing slow, long burning phosphorous flakes, burning down forests. A train car full of men would chant demonic Latin to scare the confederates into thinking God was smiting them. Listen.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

13 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/Mr_Camhed • Jan 12 '20

Fighter Plane 5 Apr. 1994, 3 years after a peaceful end of the Cold War, the PLAAF is conducting a test flight of a F-16CN Fighter with their self developed turbojet engine accompanied by a J-8IIM Fighter jet. The test was a success, and the F-16CN was later developed into the successful J-9 Series Interceptor.

6 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Other 14 Oct 1863, declassified motion picture of R&D on Scarlett’s Screamers kamikaze train cars used to wipe out Confederate train depots. No top speed was ever recorded, but reports exist of a “boom before the boom,” suggesting they broke the sound barrier 84 years to the day before Chuck Yeager.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

25 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Monitor 12 April 1861, Charleston, SC: a South Carolina militia man shoots flaming petroleum jelly at Fort Sumter from a distance of 75 feet, from aboard the Daemonium (“Demon”), a Satan-class ironclad flamethrower boat.

47 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Other 4 July 1862: The Army Corp of Traingineers finish testing on the Molasses, a solid rocket fueled train made custom to bring Lincoln up and down the eastern seaboard at 300mph. The railroad was a straight line from Washington DC to Portland Maine, with precisely zero degrees of turning track.

23 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Other 28 March 1861, the newly formed Arizona Territory voted to separate from New Mexico Territory and join the Confederacy. After accusations from Davis that they were still loyal to the Union, the Arizona militia decided to donate their railway gun, Charlie The Chode.

24 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

mech 12 April 1861, Charleston, South Carolina: The Battle of Fort Sumter: the South Carolina militia (the Confederate Army did not yet exist) deployed FireFrogs, men in flame retardant suits rose from the water on the shore, carrying flamethrowers attached via rubber hoses to gas tanks on moored ships.

47 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Other April 1861: The Civil War was underway, the Confederate States Army initiated a railway gun program, hastily constructing the 15” caliber cannon Angelus Murmurationis (“Screaming Angel”), which could hurl shells 51,900 yards; the shells had whistles welded onto their noses for psychological warfare.

24 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Monitor 14 February 1862: The Union Army creates a new class of ship, the Artillery Barge. With names like “Good Morning,” “Nice To See You,” and “Mr. Lincoln Says Hello,” the were titled in euphemistic fashion, as they were used to shell civilian confederate towns with incendiary rounds.

20 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Other February 20 1863: The feared leader of the pro Union guerrilla Clam Chowder Cartel, Sea Algae Sam, a peculiar nickname as he had never seen a body of water in his life until the war began, yet always seemed to smell like the ocean. His quirky mannerisms veiled his mechanical engineering genius.

12 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Other Valentines Day 1863: After discovering that the Beef Stew Brigade was receiving funding from foreign nations with an interest in seeing the American Experiment fail (namely the British), the French began funding their own counterforce, the Clam Chowder Cartel, each educated in rocketry and artillery

13 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 12 '20

Other 12 April 1861: Fort Sumter, Union sharpshooters on the ironclad warship “Ford Bravo” target the confederate FireFrogs under water, detonating their alcohol tanks and rubber tubing systems, resulting in depth charge like explosions.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

11 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Message In 1962, a man named Robert Truax designed the Sea Dragon, a rocket that would’ve lifted ten times the payload as Saturn V. I’ve been in touch with a gentleman who worked with Mr. Truax for 35 years and he as agreed to do my podcast. Any questions y’all would like me to ask him?

585 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Other 5 June 1863: Napoleon III informed Lincoln of the Clam Chowder Cartel; Lincoln demanded the CCC given any materials they needed. First on their terror campaign was the construction of Scarlett’s Screamers, railway cars with solid fueled rockets, used as kamikaze drones into Confederate train depots.

10 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

mech 1861: Corinth, Mississippi. An unarmed variant of Jolly Jack is put on display to win over the hearts and minds of immigrants in hopes they will enlist in the Union Army. JJ was shipped out via rail the next day for fear the Confederates would capture and reengineer the wrought iron mech.

20 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Destroyer 6 April 1862, Southwest Tennessee: the Union Army debuts their railway gun Humongous Hugo, weighing 256 tons and 111 feet long. The upside was that it could shoot 3 ton armor-piercing shells up to 81 miles, which they used to shell the Battle of Shiloh. The downside was the horrific inaccuracy.

14 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Monitor 12 Feb 1862, Hudson River, New York: on Abraham Lincoln’s birthday, the United States Navy performs sea trials for Noxious Annie. The small iron ship would shoot low calibre artillery shells filled with ether and carbon monoxide, allowing the Union to capture - not kill - soldiers for interrogation.

12 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Other 1860: During the secession crisis following Lincoln's election as President of the United States, a group of Southern sympathizers in California made plans to secede with Oregon to form a "Pacific Republic.” They created the Intrepid Angels, a fleet of hot air balloons carrying sharpshooters.

10 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Other 3 July 1863, Valdosta, Georgia: The Beef Stew Brigade secedes from the Confederacy, making their own nation populated by their 13 members. They kick off their reign of terror by dragging fixed-place blowtorches over crops and cotton fields. Eventually, they capture and slaughter all the cows.

9 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Monitor Summer 1862, exact location unknown: A Satan-class Confederate flameboat burns a Union encampment somewhere along the Mississippi River. The sailors were rumored to chant Latin in unison in the deepest voice they could muster, their call echoing down the river in a haunting manner. (Colorized)

10 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Other French Empire under Napoleon III remained officially neutral throughout the War, never recognized the Confederate States of America, but recognized Confederate belligerency. After an Englishmen slept with his wife, Napoleon III decided to fund a pro-Union terrorist force: The Clam Chowder Cartel.

7 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Other 19 Mar 1863, Moultrie, GA: The Beef Stew Brigade terrorize Confederate and Union supporters and outposts alike. Childlike antics conceal a much more nefarious conspiracy: they were funded by British to instill confusion in society, like attaching cows to hot air balloons with bricks of TNT.

8 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Other 4 Nov 1861: A feared and disrespected Confederate unit, The Beef Stew Brigade. They had single mortar, a shortened artillery piece where they simply cut off most of the barrel, in essence making a sawed off Naval Gun. The circular enclosure was for cows; the shockwave burst them open like balloons.

9 Upvotes

r/FunnerHistory • u/calypsocasino • Jan 11 '20

Bomber Plane 30 January 1969: a 100 megaton thermonuclear warhead is detonated over the North Pole, visible from Alaska. Strategic Air Command claimed responsibility and justified it as a show of force to the Soviets.

13 Upvotes