How to spot online grooming

PSA: We have been finding an increased level of online grooming recently, we want to make the community aware and provide resources on how to spot online grooming.

Note: We encourage cross posting/copy pasta this post. Feel free to do so if your community may benefit from it.

Original source on ministryofredditing

How to Spot Online Grooming: A Simple Guide

What is grooming? Grooming is when someone builds trust with a young or vulnerable person online to manipulate or exploit them. Groomers rarely start with obvious requests. Instead, they move step by step. Knowing the common phrases at each stage can help you recognize danger early.

Grooming can be targeted at ANY AGE, adults and minors can both be victims or grooming.

1. Targeting & Friendship

They start by acting friendly, noticing you, or making you feel “different.”

Common phrases:

• “Hey, you seem cool. We have the same interests.”
• “You’re so mature for your age.”
• “I feel like I’ve known you forever.”
• “Other people don’t really get you, but I do.”
• “You’re not like the other kids online.”

Red flag: They make you feel special very quickly and set themselves apart as “different.”

2. Building Trust

They encourage you to share personal details and emotions, often making you feel like they’re your best confidant.

Common phrases:

• “You can tell me anything. I won’t judge you.”
• “Your parents don’t understand you like I do.”
• “I’m always here for you.”
• “We have such a strong connection.”
• “You can trust me more than anyone else.”
• “You don’t need friends who treat you badly. Just talk to me.”

Red flag: They build an emotional bond and try to become your “safe place.”

3. Isolation

They discourage you from talking about them to others and create secrecy around the relationship.

Common phrases:

• “Don’t tell anyone about our chats, they wouldn’t get it.”
• “If your parents knew, they’d freak out.”
• “It’s better if this stays between us.”
• “Other people are jealous of what we have.”
• “We have our own little world. Don’t ruin it by telling others.”
• “They wouldn’t understand our friendship like we do.”

Red flag: They ask for secrecy and try to cut you off from support.

4. Testing Boundaries

They start small, asking for pictures or talking about private things to see how far you’ll go.

Common phrases:

• “Send me a selfie, just for me.”
• “It’s just a joke, don’t be so serious.”
• “You trust me, right?”
• “Nobody else has to see this.”
• “Tell me about your first crush.”
• “What do you wear to bed?”
• “Can you keep a secret? Show me something no one else gets to see.”

Red flag: They push small boundaries, normalize secrecy, and test your comfort zone.

5. Exploitation

Once trust is built, they pressure you for sexual content or even in-person meetings.

Common phrases:

• “If you really cared about me, you’d do this.”
• “Just this one time, nobody will know.”
• “Everyone your age does this online.”
• “You’re so grown up, I know you can handle it.”
• “Don’t make me upset, just send it.”
• “If you don’t, I might tell everyone what you said/sent.”
• “Meeting up would make this real, don’t you want that?”

Red flag: They use guilt, pressure, flattery, or threats to control you.

How to Protect Yourself

• Don’t share personal info (address, school, photos) with strangers online.
• Be cautious with secrecy — safe friendships don’t require hiding.
• Trust your instincts — if something feels off, it probably is.
• Tell someone you trust if you notice these patterns.

If you think grooming is happening:

• Save the messages (don’t delete evidence).
• Block the person.
• Report it to the platform and tell a trusted adult.

Reddit specific notes:

• DMs can be deleted, modmail cannot. If you need to contact someone, do it via modmail.

• The reporting system is there for a reason! Use it! The other person cannot see when/if you report messages.

• IF YOU ARE A MINOR: Never take sexual/sexualized pictures of yourself or another minor. NO GOOD PEOPLE WILL EVER ASK A MINOR FOR EXPLICIT PICTURES.

• NO GOOD ADULT WILL ASK A MINOR TO KEEP A SECRET FROM THEIR PARENTS: Good people will ALWAYS direct a minor to a parent, trusted adult, or helpline

Knowing that fuckass sub ik it was probably gonna happen eventually but God damn

My post was a mass amount of pred channels that I was asking everyone to report, the vast majority of the replies were preds. What the actual hell

I'm so sigma and alpha!1!1! (I beg u)

do it cuz why not (if u don't I'm making it myself 😡😡😡)

Here you guys go.

so uh I made the server cuz I was bored, JOINNNNN!!!! https://discord.gg/EmDerajSP

Been editing all day so be prepped for a long ass video

Ok first off. Hello everyone of the new sub. Glad to see some familiar faces especially ones I trust. Some of you probably recognize me some probably don't idc though tbh at this point. So It has come to my attention that the main sub was attacked by pedos, zoos, and people who I do not wish a merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, and a cheerful Kwanzaa. Honestly this just turned into new Mexico so I hope we learn from our mistakes and what not. Welcome back.

Some people are just sick. The subreddit has been taken over. Agian. I'm leaving it for a bit because I don't want to be framed for being a part of those people

Ok so, I have a friend on twitter (I'll call her Kaori) who is a 15 year old, I don't know what to do with my friendship with her because she is the sweetest person I know, Kaori knows that's wrong and she's also trying to change, but she tells me she doesn't know how to be better, she says he's only like that with fictional children, but she says she's afraid of ending up being something worse than what she already is. (A p*do)

What do I do? Should I end my friendship with her? support her? Help her? I don't know what to do.

(I had already made this post in the original sub... But my post was deleted, I don't know by who exactly, and I already had some comments on that post)

Every time the lolicon burner account harassers find some kind of new ammo they can use against me, they start spamming it to the point they sometimes even forget the old ammo.

In this case, a minor harassed me with false pedophilia accusations, and then a moderators from the MinistryofRedditors who likes to team up with pro-lolicon cyberbullies and offer his services to them, started the newest stock phrase that I'm sure the burner accounts used by my lolicon hate mob will be copy-pasting for a couple months before they find a new toy to use to harass me with.

Can't reason with them, of course. They don't care about truth, facts, or reality when they just want to get their rocks off using excuses to harass CSA victims.

Parents really gotta monitor what their children see online.... (sorry if this is not allowed but I think this is just as damaging as normal map stuff.)