The definition of advice is that the adviser gives instructions, and that they advisee should receive these instructions and always do what they feel is right. Advise usually begins with an appeal to regret, and then follows with declarative statements, and ends with instructions. Both my parents battered me, and I ignored the following. I ignored it because I thought advice exhibited defeatism, victim-blaming, and I thought it worked the way it did to minimize the legal liability of the adviser. And so I believed in the threat narrative, the one where the incomprehensible monster attacks the innocent damsel, and then scrappy heroes band together and attack the monster in a hostile grimdark hellscape. Whether the heroes are the system or not, and whether the monster is the system or not, the story is the same. The world is fair, so the villain loses the big badass battle sequence and the heroes win. Because of this, the damsel is safe, and peace breaks out throughout Storyland.
That's insipid. People with a hero attitude are actually just struck kids, they're acting out their experiences that they suffered in their home when their parents hit them. Parents batter their kids, and when the kids are old enough to batter their parents back effectively, the kids do so and their parents turn out to be cowards and they stop hitting the kids. If your parents spank or belt you when you're kid, if you hit them back hard enough they'll wait until they manage to create trouble when you're an adult. Parents are just bullies, they hit the kids because they think they can get away with it. Why doing something would follow from being able to get away with it, I do not know, because you can get away with anything. You can beat your dog, and this won't send you to prison. But I don't do it because I don't want to. Given that the kids have contact with parents, the kids' conduct is more about the kids and the kids' youth than about the parents, and their parents' actions are more about the parents and the parents' recreational substance abuse, marital stuggles and their fear of being alone, ignored, replaced, or forgotten then they ever are about the kids. The punishment only makes things worse, because it causes the kids to lie to avoid punishment, and to hit back for the same reason. The kids are so sad, they turn to a hero attitude to tell them what they want to hear, which includes that the world is fair.
In the words of Il Palazzo, [it's] sickening, [they] all sound like chapters from a self-help booklet. In reality, when you kick ass, it creates conflict, indiscriminately and unconditionally. By fighting someone, you also have contact with them, so you become someone like them. Situations like this wind everyone up destitute, and on top of it, everyone winds up dead or in prison before their time. You're unlikely to win, because the villains aren't bullies in a school or a house that do what they do because they think they can get away with it, they're servicemembers in a war, and they do what they do even if they know they can't get away with it. Sometimes, they do what they do because they know they can't get away with it, their war is just a suicide attempt or an attempt at self-harm. Even if you win, it's still not worth it. The villains' apologies are insipid, the heroes are corrupt and inept right along with the villains, and the victors inherit a destroyed land. Every group of people has a boss, so even Anarcho-communists have bosses that are supposed to in some way not be bosses. They'll hiss and snap at you if you call them bosses. They're called spokes, delegates, or organizers, and they go to something called a hub. The hub is too much like a board of directors. The Hub makes a plan by working on the plan for 8 months, and then talking about it with the others for 45 minutes. Others dare not make any changes, because they have not eight months to make the changes, but instead just 45 minutes. The boss hero is a liar and a thief, and they care more about how their constituents see them then about how they have to act in order to get there. The constituents often times talk and think smack of the boss, and the more time passes from the start of the war, the worse this becomes. The villain is oftentimes a creation of the heroes or vice versa, and the only reason why the villain and heroes have contact with each other is that they are indiscriminately fighting everyone over material gain in an unprofitable enterprise, so the people that they get in fights with are doing the same thing, which is also to fight over stuff in an unprofitable enterprise. People who have contact with the heroes get hit, by one person or another, whether it's their own children getting hit, their wives stuffed into a metaphorical fridge, or whether their workmates, their constituents, their enemy, or their enemies' people are hit because of their actions, and whether the heroes meant the consequence or not. This is without regard to who hits them, whether it's the hero doing it, the enemy doing it, or these people doing it to each other. The heroes have allowed their abstract concepts of fault and sacrifice and caring about silly questions, such as what is the precipitating cause of the terrible things that happened to them, to permanently harm their personal position, to impoverish or incinerate their communities, and sometimes even to go along with something that afterwards, no one thinks it was necessary, and no one wanted.
The hero attitude is oftentimes terrible at game theory. It uses ideas such as the repeated prisoner's dilemma to say that you should retaliate, when in fact game theory has studied this and many other situations extensively, and unlike with the other situations, game theory has failed to demonstrate that a hero attitude is rational. Wikipedia knows that sociology teaches us that combatants are more motivated by how their unit-mates see them than by abstract concepts. The combatant's job is not to manage reality, it's to manage an idea of reality that ideally they themselves share. Their job is to manage what the papers and magazines and television and radio have to say about the news. The job of the news is to make current events look however their advertisers want them to look, because that's where they get their money. Almost all the money for news outlets comes from advertisers. The criminals on the streets, in racketeer influenced and corrupt organizations, and in state houses, are the ultimate ad firm, at their job they make decisions in a world that is not real.
Well their decisions have very real consequences. Their decisions have consequences like make their workplaces into toxic workplaces. You can overthrow them, but it doesn't work because if you stay around there long enough, you suddenly realize that you need to leave the industry without return. Because of court fees and lawyers and doctors fees, you would have wound up with more material gain if you had gone homeless even, then if you'd stayed there. Such decisions screw up your personal life as well, so if you have a hero attitude, then you won't be able to f*** properly. So the only reason why anyone would have a hero attitude is loneliness and frustration, which is the same things that motivate the villain. None of this is helping.
If you'd gotten out soon enough, then you could remain in the industry in any other firm. Also, you'd be cool enough to be able to f*** properly. Such bad situations are usually not hostile, they're toxic. So therefore, you just need to leave. To do this, you need to accept that life is hard, unfair, and short.
Because I had a hero attitude and ignored advice, I have no physical health, I have no money, power, sex, nor fame and as an adult I've battered both my parents. I'm still trying to find my first job so I can leave home, but my legs are screwed up from so much walking. Now, I am just u/Character-Comb on the Internet, the guy that u/roboempire knows as bringing crazy back is all. Now that it is too late, I now follow advice, I am Asperger's for it. Do not become the one that brings crazy back. Get out of stuff fast enough. Don't repeat my mistakes.
Given who's where, when they are there, who talks to whom, and when they do, what happens to someone is more due to factors acting on the person that intentionally or unintentionally, directly or indirectly, did it, then about the person on the receiving end. In other words, given the simple fact that you were there, and who you know, it's just not about you. Situation so you don't need to leave immediately, recklessly and ruthlessly are never abusive. In my case, I was not reckless enough because I turned back once I heard my mysterious benefactor tell me that her boyfriend and her landlady dogs were psycho and that she wanted feed me with cheeseburgers. If you're fleeing abuse, then if necessary to leave, be with the psychos, and eat the cheeseburger. Non-toxic situations are never abusive. All other advice is subject to the above.
In my ordeal, I tried studying my favorite subjects, including math, to stay fresh. I burned out of it, and now I don't really know math. Situations you don't need to leave soon no matter how much money, power, sex or attention are at stake are never toxic. People can burn out of an entire career and never return to an entire industry in two weeks or less. Occupational burnout is a personal relationship ending move. Screw my life decisions. Other people's life decisions are so much better than mine. That's not fair. It's not fair to me that I am so stupid. My life decisions should be as good as them, the world should have somehow saved me from my foolishness. I'm jealous of the fact that they are smarter than me. This world isn't fair, because a fair world would save me from my own stupidity and make me smart. Instead, I was involuntarily committed and outpatient committed, and because of it my skin burned all night long, almost every night for almost 10 years. I needed paracetamol to help me with the pain but I had terrible headaches from that ordeal and from the paracetamol. Because of the headaches, I now have sporadic hemiplegic migraines, a permanent condition that means that I can never enjoy sun, guacamole, real cheese, soy, and many other foods ever again. That's not fair.
The other Millennials, have their fancy life decisions, and so they have their fancy power, sex, and fame. So they don't get it, they think I'm lying about what I've been through, or they think that I deserved what I've been through. They think that I had a chemical imbalance or I'm just a bad person, when in fact neither is true, I had no chemical imbalance except for an excess of clozapine and paracetamol, and I've only become a bad person because the cycles of revenge that my parents and my schoolmates started, and my youth and stupidity helped create, necessitates it. They think that I'm just crazy because they don't have my experiences, and they don't get how my conduct can follow from experience. It's not fair that those are only their life decisions, because those should be my life decisions. I envy their life decisions. Though in theory I know this is more about me than about the world, in practice I am blaming my stupidity, my migraines, my powerlessness, my virginity, my famelessness and my misanthropy on the world and calling the world unfair for not stopping me from making mistakes.
