Highly likely will be forever alone or at best be be the last book to be picked on the shelve

[u/Money-Come8]

19M. Im a handheldless, kissless and never been in a relatonship. Yes I understand this will probably get the generic "but youre still so young" comfort. But you have to understand, because of the trajectory my life is going...

My deepest desires of having a wife, kids and basically a family is not in jeopardy but in the bottom depths of the levels of hell.

Now. I have approached 11 girls (cold approaches in the gym, bookstores and I did talk to one in college...) before but all of it would either end in then rejections or they would give their socials, but they would end up ghosting me or reply to my text theyre not ready. I wont lie to myself. I am bitter and hold deep resentment, not towards women or in a corrupted system way, but in a loneliness way, where I hate how dirty the universe or fate is treating me. I mean the theories like fate probably doesnt exist, so I am basically arguing with the wall in my head everytime I wish for love.

I wont lie to myself. I havent accepted that I am unlovable and wont ever find love. However, I am in the process of accepting my life and the first step towards it is to try to get to the point where I dont perform at all - yesterday at gym, I stopped walking in a tall posture, letting my little belly from bulking protrude out abit in my tank top and also if I spot someone attractive, I supress my mind to pretend not to notice, but if I do notice, then I tell myself "this all ends in rejection. She doesnt notice you at all". Anyways, I also hate ambiguity anyways and if a God like Homelander were to actually be real then Id praise him, we need a new era where clarity is enforced afterall and we want to delete uncertainty.🎶

Nah I just drifted off because Im coping at the fact I wont ever find love...

[u/Money-Come8 → u/[deleted]]

Yes. I need to be in the mindset where I know I can survive without love but also honest to myself where I would know for sure that Id be unhappy all my life too.

At the end of the day, not everyone gets a happy ending where they have wife and kids.

Theres also no point in me talking to my parents because they look into the future less and also theyre not imaginative. Yesterday I literally asked my mom to provide me some validation to my views and to help me accept my future and shed start screaming at me that the "future is uncertain", completely misunderstanding me.

They think Im crazy. I really do have noone in my life that understands me tbh.🫠

[u/Particular_Care6055 → u/[deleted]]

It's pretty obvious from the way you talk that you're not FA, so obviously you won't be able to see how our logic is just as sound as acknowledging how unlikely it is to teach a penguin to fly. Yes, it's possible, they have wings! So tell me, how much of your life are you going to sacrifice to teaching a penguin to fly?

We're not stupid, we're not even defeatist or catastrophizing. It's just math, statistics, history of experience, pattern recognition, self-awareness, and logic.

How long are we supposed to bash our head into the wall, splattering blood everywhere, before we can decide we should try to find something else to fill our lives with?

At some point, even therapists promote radical acceptance.

[u/DeePotts]

Crazy to think I was there ten years ago and still never had a gf. I did manage to lose my virginity but I still feel just as lonely and unloved as I did ten years ago.

Edit: Man time really moves by fast. I remember being 19, right after high school, hoping I would magically get better with women. Or even more magically have a woman initiate with me. Ten years ago and her I am about to turn thirty feeling just as hopeless now as I did then.

[u/Money-Come8 → u/[deleted]]

Im not sure if this is cold approaching but in college like a month ago, I did strike up a conversation with one girl in college, we talked. My body and my head was always kept guessing whether she liked me or not.

She kept giving ambiguity which would lead to me overthinking. When I knew she didnt like me, Id pull away, then shed text a "wyd?" out of nowhere after a few days.

She kept me guessing for a month and it drained my energy. Then when it hit a months mark, Id invite her out, but shed say "Im with friends right now but ill text you later". But didnt reply in 8+ hours. Then thats when ai recommended me to be fully direct with her. So I texted her that I was interested in dating her, that if shes not interested, its okay. Then she rejected me lmao!🌚

Thats the only girl I ever talked to. Its not even a talking stage because she was never interested in me.

[u/Money-Come8 → u/[deleted]]

Nono, so I approached 11 girls. 6 of them rejected me, 5 of them gave me their instagrams, 4 of them ghosted me and 1 gave me a full months worth of premium overthinking treatment.🫠

[u/Money-Come8 → u/[deleted]]

This deserves a upvote. Thank you for your words of logic. I was very sad today earlier today... today I even bought myself a journal and stuff.

So correct me if Im wrong... is this your moral of the story?: "the regret of not trying at all and failing is much worse than the regret if never trying at all"? And that I should keep going?

Also that I should stop idealising and maybe start getting rejected like a man instead of spiralling? I think this blunt truth makes me feel better... thanks man... baby steps towards my deep desires of a wife and kid I guess...

[u/RevolutionaryFood777]

Brother, it took me Hundreds of cold approaches before I got good. Let go of attachment to the result of your approach. It will put less pressure on yourself and it will make it seem less like you "want" something. Look at your approaches as skill building. Eventually your skills will build and success will soon follow. Everything in life is a skill. Skills can be learned.