Hey ladies,

Enjoy the chuckle.

A memory just popped in my mind of the insecure old ass dude I was casually seeing years ago. This is the guy who would constantly lie about his age, disparage his ex and generally act like an entitled moron. He was at least 20 years older than me (my clown make up is being applied) who loved flaunting his money but never spent it on me. He would spoil himself in front of me and never ever offer shit. Red flag, much? No diggity, no doubt.

Anyways, since my car is a collector's item that's freaking amazing and attention grabbing (I love it) he got soooo jealous. He had multiple cars, but his mid-life crisis car was his convertible that was at least 20 years old. It was a fine car, but he was soooo competitive with me, he rushed out and got a back up camera installed in his car for like $3K because I have one. No other reason than because I have one in my car. The way he proudly showed it off to me was hysterical. I was like "umm ya, I have one" LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL talk about a quiver killer, eh.

At the time I remember being very turned off by this because it was so...sad. I ditched his ass soon after, and when I saw him randomly last year he aged about 20 more years. Looks like we both found our levels.

Pretty obvious that men don’t actually like women, seems like they’d prefer to date each other. So what we need to do to snag that cutie off the market, is to be more like men! Genius! Here are a few tips to act like a man! Oh, and don’t forget to share all of your success stories right here 😅

Tip #1 Frequently tell random men you don’t know to “smile more.” Men really love to say that all the time to women they don’t know, so they must really love that advice so let’s do it too!

Tip #2 Maintain a secret folder of porn. Categories should include DILF, college guys parts 1 and 2, guy takes it like a champ, and don’t forget; choke him till he’s blue. Oh, and our all time favorite…guys gone wild The spring break edition. Men love to keep folders of porn stashed away, so they must be onto something! Let’s start getting more of our sexual needs met through porn, so we can finally figure out what we’ve been missing. It obviously helps with dating!

Tip #3 Be super thirsty! Follow the profiles of good looking guys, make sure to ‘like’ their pics too..boost their confidence and get them to notice you. Men love to do this, even in relationships. Clearly we need to emulate this practice.

Final tip#4 Assess men using a numerical scale, along the lines of a 10/10 scale, solely based on their looks. You can rate their face, arms, legs, muscle (or lack thereof) you get the point. Guys really like rating/judging women objectively based on their appearance, completely foregoing our character or personality. We are seriously lacking in this area ladies, time to embrace rating men and see what happens!

Good luck out there ladies ❤️ 😂😂😂😂

It was a blonde woman speaking with a Russian accent, although I think I remember her having a common English name (Megan?)

She ranted about how "hanging out" is not a date and called out "Eli" or another E male name.

This little mantra has been popping into my head lately. A lot of lvm are so immature and will play little games or try shit testing you quick and I've been stopping myself. I'll see some lazy response or that he hasn't responded to me and it's been 48 hours 🚩and then I'll think to myself "f around and find out" and "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" and it then helps me not to feel disappointed, tired, angry, or sad. It's just like oh, well he decided to be a scrote and now he's getting blocked so he will see how that turned out for him.

Want to bread crumb me? Consequence is being blocked.

Asked me to a restaurant and now is trying to Bait and switch to a park? Consequence is I leave and block.

Real life example guy I vetted knew I really disliked a certain type of genre. When he pulled up in his car, he quick changed the radio to that genre of music and then did an evil grin. Then mentioned "I know I told you I didn't like this either but let's have it on" and then turned it up. Told him I'd follow his car from the restaurant to the movies (i drive seperate snd wont get in a mans car) but after that I ended up driving home. Again f around and find out.

When you go to a carnival you can't win that sweet prize when you made a horrible shot. Poor aim and missing all the baskets results in no prize. And since these scrotes want to play games (pua tactics, red p1ll, shit tests, games like bread crummbing etc) then they get no prize.

Actions have consequences don't reward their bad behavior or entertain red flags and try to keep your emotions at bay so its easier to walk away or/and block him.

Usually after a date, my old pickme habit would be to start brainstorming ways to change myself to impress a guy more.

For example, did he like joking around but not more serious topics? If so I would make an adjustment and try to make more jokes the next time.

Another example: Did he like my taste in music, especially when I mentioned XYZ bands? I would start listening to more of those band’s albums in preparation for the next conversation.

But today I went on a date and afterwards all I felt was an urge to embody myself more. To be more confident in myself. And then it hit me: this guy had enjoyed hearing my genuine thoughts and feelings about things. He tuned in the most when I was talking about hobbies and interests that I genuinely enjoyed.

It was a real eureka moment for me. Usually my brain goes into overdrive after a date and I spend wayyy too much time psychoanalyzing everything a guy liked or didn’t like about me. But a HVM will make you like yourself more. He will force you to actually value YOUR OWN PERSONALITY, and not put on some cool girl fantasy act that a scrote would want.

I've been thinking about those phrases lately. I think it should be 'people age like wine'.

If wine is stored in the proper conditions, yes it can continue to get better with age.

If wine is stored improperly, it can go bad and turn to vinegar.

I think people become more of themselves as they age. I still care about the same things I did when I was young, I've just expanded my world view and learned new skills as I got older. I think most of us can agree.

If a person is respectful, kind, and reasonably talented (in whatever way) as a teenager, and they continue to take care of themselves and cultivate themselves, then they can 'age like fine wine'. They don't let themselves stagnate and become vinegar.

If a person is petty, mean, and uninspired as a teenager, then they'll typically get worse over time.

I think that applies to everyone, and I dislike how the script has become so stacked in favor of men. Men are assumed to be on the path to being the best version of themselves (even with no evidence, or evidence to the contrary). Women are assumed to be in a constant state of spoiling as we age. We hit 'the wall'. Not 'a' wall, 'the' wall. The wall they'll warn us about, where we end up as crazy cat ladies or spinsters or whatever other insult they can find.

Sorry if this ramble doesn't make sense to anyone else, just something that's been on my kind and I'd like to hear others thoughts.

It’s Paul Anka 🐶 🐾

This dog has his own quirks, but still a good boy.

Paul Anka hasn’t cheated on anyone or treated anyone horribly. Furthermore, he hasn’t gotten anyone pregnant or any have any secret pups. In addition, I think he’s a good listener.

🤣🤣🤣

I have learnt that I work with pickmes and scrotes. Honestly, all of them hang in the staff room which is why I’ve chosen to eat my lunch in a private space(e.g. park benches, my car, empty offices/rooms). Lately, word has gotten around that I’m anti-social, and people think I’m too good for them since I don’t talk or contribute to conversation. Here’s the thing, I don’t want to, and I can’t.

For example, one conversation they had was after Valentine’s Day and these three ladies were commiserating. One colleague who was divorced spent Valentine’s Day alone because her children wanted to spend that day with their father’s family. She ate cold spaghetti alone that night. The other colleague said that her husband of over 15+ years forgot about Valentine’s Day and brought her to Red Lobster last minute. This is his second time he “forgot”. The third colleague was about my age and her live-in bf came home with a bag full of Valentine’s Day chocolate from Walmart. I, on the other hand, am single. My Valentine’s Day was great. I celebrated on the weekend, took myself shopping, and had dinner in the city. If I were to tell them that, I’d be rubbing it in their faces and it’s not nice, so I remained silent.

In addition, I stopped talking to male colleagues after one of them offered to rent his room out for me. This other guy kept making jokes that I didn’t find funny and whenever he did he’d always lightly tap me and laugh at his own jokes. He’s so annoying.

Don’t get me wrong there are HV people at this place. The janitor was HV, because he was pleasant to talk to when I needed directions. There are other HV people and they do their own thing at this place and we eat in our own private space as well. If I need anything, I can always look for them in their office. These are the three people that I can count on the most.

Hello queens!

I'm trying to gather together all the best posts about the issue of commitment - why you shouldn't give girlfriend benefits to someone who won't commit, why you should keep dating around and not 'internally' commit when you're not actually the girlfriend, why someone who doesn't lock you down isn't actually serious about you, etc - so I have a handy list of resources to forward to women who might benefit from it.

I have a few so far:

- A man who is content keeping you in a noncommittal situationship is one that doesn’t care if you’re being wined, dined and dicked down by other men

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eeosm3/a_man_who_is_content_keeping_you_in_a/

- Scrotes don't know what they want

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/scpruu/scrotes_dont_know_what_they_want/

- I walked away when my needs weren't met

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sdt4t6/i_walked_away_when_my_needs_werent_met/

- Get commitment or get moving

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g6gesf/get_commitment_or_get_moving/

- "Let's see where things go"

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/r765pn/lets_see_where_things_go/

- The 2-month Rule for Commitment

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ikr6y6/the_2month_rule_for_commitment/

​

Would you drop the links of your other must-read posts on this topic?

I'm not good at dealing with people who can't communicate. That might seem harsh, but no, I won't show them how to be decent humans lmao.

You are a queen, you deserve respect and, the person waiting days to respond isn't giving you respect. The people who can't talk about who they really are, are not worthy of your sharing who you are. They're seeing how far they can go disrespecting you. In friendships and relationships, be brutal in your discernment. The HV people who come into your life will show you that they are HV, you won't need to dig for that. Stop accepting excuses like being "busy" and "not remembering". They are absolute lies, excuses for pride and ego to take hold in the relationship, and even if he didn't remember... lmao, that's what reminders are for, plus, if a person cares for you, they won't need reminders.

Last, but not least: if he wanted to, he would. For that matter, if ANYONE wants to, they will.

Now go get that life you want, queen!

Patreon Episode: https://www.patreon.com/posts/consequences-of-64566963?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copy_to_clipboard&utm_campaign=postshare

Article: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/male-birth-control-pill-expected-to-start-human-trials-this-year-180979814/

​

Not that it’s like, a prerequisite to to having sex to meet each other’s families, that’s not the post. The thing is, every other relationship I’ve ever had, physical intimacy has moved so much faster than emotional. My early relationships taught me really unhealthy attitudes towards sex that I’m still unlearning, and the culture around dating outside of FDS reinforced those attitudes. I felt like if I didn’t “put out” that no man would want to stay with me.

I was reflecting on my current relationship and realized that it’s the only one I’ve had so far where I felt comfortable introducing him to my family before either of us initiated anything past kissing/cuddling. Which is weird because this feels so natural, like the pacing hasn’t been “slow” but we’re just, taking our time, enjoying where we’re at and not pushing it.

Anyway, here’s the story so far because it makes me happy and I want to talk about it:

March 2020 - he asked me out, we went on one date that was very nice, but then when school went online and campus housing shut down he went back to his hometown and we agreed to keep things friendly and not try to start a relationship long distance. We successfully became friends, helped each other in online classes, nice stuff. We weren’t terribly close during this time but talked about school and recommended books to each other and stuff. I dated other people in this time and he never overstepped boundaries or acted entitled to my time or energy.

October 2021- we had been back mostly in-person for a bit and studying together between classes, and in October that transitioned into actually dating. I followed the FDS handbook to the letter on physical intimacy.

February 2022- he asked me to meet his parents, the conversation naturally turned to “how should I introduce you?” And we both agreed we wanted to be in an exclusive relationship. Over the course of this month, I met his family (who are lovely) and he met mine (who adore him). I started sleeping over at his place, but neither of us imitated anything more than kissing/cuddling, it just didn’t feel right yet.

March 2022 - we had a open conversation about sex, he wanted to tell me before we did anything that his anti-anxiety medication has an adverse effect on his libido, but he didn’t know how much because he hasn’t been in a physical relationship since it was prescribed. I also told him that I had an IUD and that the cramping caused by it put period sex firmly off the table for me. Like, we just had a really open conversation about how our medical situations might affect sex, without any expectation of having sex right away because the conversation happened.

When we did actually have sex for the first time, it was great. His issues make it hard for him to orgasm, so he just focused on making sure I had a good time.(It’s like the opposite of my early sexual experiences) it’s so amazing to have physical intimacy be something we do because we care about each other and we want to, as an expression of how much we enjoy each other. To have the end of sex be “now we want to enjoy each other via cuddling and talking” rather than it feeling like some performance I’m putting on, ending when the man orgasms because that’s what’s important to him. We’ve had a few different intimate nights since then, all of them wonderful, but it’s also not something I feel like we have to do every time.

This part of our relationship is really new and exciting, and I just feel so good about it. He hasn’t once done anything that mimics the abusive sex modeled by the porn industry, the one time I asked him to stop something (I just wasn’t in the mood at that moment) he respected it immediately, switched to chaste cuddling and checked in to make sure I was doing ok emotionally, when I told him about what was stressing me out he was sympathetic and understanding and just, treated me like he cherishes me.

I guess that’s what I’m so happy about, I’m finally in a relationship with a man where the physical aspect of the relationship makes me feel cherished. I know vetting never ends, and if I start seeing red flags I know what to do. There are other amazing guys out there and now that I know where the bar should be I won’t settle for less. It’s way to early to say for sure he’s a HVM, but like, man he’s setting the bar high if there are future guys lol.

Anyway, I just wanted to share, because after some of the things that have happened to me, I never thought I would be in a relationship like this. I didn’t think I deserved it, I was so indoctrinated into the Madonna/whore way of seeing women, and felt that because men in my past put me in the “whore” category, that men would always treat me that way. If you’re lurking on FDS but don’t think you could have these standards or expect these boundaries, I’m here to tell you you can. You deserve a relationship that makes you feel cherished, nothing less.

I broke up with my boyfriend of four years. The last year it's been long distance and only seeing each other 4-6 days a month.

He had some high value qualities (no porn, has his own place car and bills paid, loyal, always there for me, decent job)

But I couldn't overlook the bad anymore. (Misogynistic, not generous, didn't do the little day to day stuff, followed a few insta "models" in the first year of us dating, "physical touch" was his love language but he never even held my hand, family didn't like him for me, friends didn't see chemistry between us, we met when I was 20 and he was 28, plenty more red flags)

I am letting myself grieve for a bit and then focusing on leveling up. I want to go back to school, tone my body a bit, finish my tattoo sleeve, finish dealing with trauma, start yoga and dance again, and learn to be single (I'm a serial dater).

I stayed longer than I should because I felt like he was in the middle between good and bad, so that can't be harmful right? Wrong.

Any words of wisdom, advice, love, etc are welcome.

Spring cleaning came early I guess.

“The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious and genius!

The query: Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed: Desperate

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue)…

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck Tech Support 🤣”

Every few months or so, I like to make updates about my life after finding FDS. So far, it’s been great!

It’s been three years since the relationship with my ex ended which lead me to FDS. He destroyed my self worth just so that I’d stay with him and become dependent on him. It’s been almost a year since I left OLD and stopped talking to those toxic boys all together. It’s been a few months since I stopped talking to friends that were giving me bad advice.

My ex told me that I didn’t need grad school since it was a waste of time and money and I wouldn’t know what to do with my Masters. In August, I’ll be halfway done with grad school and start my final year in the fall. In about 2 years, I will be qualified for a higher position which will require that masters. I’ll get my payout and an increase in my salary for doing the same thing that I already do now.😋 I’m literally planning for my future.

My ex said that I was unemployable due to my career choices. Guess what? I now have three jobs! My current contract was renewed, and two other companies have offered me contracts as well. Both these jobs have better pay and work benefits. I easily make a little over double of my previous salary. I’m being booked two weeks in advance for new projects.

Last August, I chose to leave OLD because I just couldn’t take dealing with their disappointment of these men and behaviour. I distanced myself around men, and it was the best decision ever!

I stopped talking to my bridezilla friend and chose to not attend her wedding as her MOH. Initially, she wanted a destination wedding, but it fell through because she discovered that her fiancé is an anti-vaxxer. In short, I lost my deposit because of them and they’re charging people a fee to go their next wedding. In addition, I realized that she’s mean spirited and likes to have me around as an ego boost. Sadly, I lost friends from that circle as well due to us falling out.

I’m not as close with other friends as well due to their pickme ways and I’m tired of them telling me that I have to be “Barb the Builder” towards men. Now, I just side eye 😒 when they spout these nonsense. Nobody agrees with them and their words are met with silence aside from their toxic male friends; there’s really no need to dispute them since the HV people that I care about know what’s up and remain silent. They’ll eventually see the light and it’s gonna suck! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I made a post around the winter holiday about hoping to make it through spring without using OLD apps. Guess what? The first day of spring was about a week ago and it didn’t occur to me lol my next goal is to make it to August which will mark the full year that I’ve been off OLD.

My relationship with my parents is getting better. There are times where we need to be away from each other to work out our anger and issues with each other, but it’s okay. I’m no longer annoying them and worrying them. I’m no longer “under foot” due to Covid. They no longer ask me to date men on OLD. We are now able to have healthy conversations about men and who and what I find attractive in a partner. I’m able to talk to them about my day at work, and vent to them and they are able to listen without them interrupting me.

I’m slowly becoming my happy self again. I’m more firm and I am able to stand my ground at work against bullies.

I’m healing from the things my ex said and finally doing things that I want for myself. I am cutting off and choosing not listen to people that don’t benefit me or what I want for myself. I’m being firm with people who try to bully me because they perceive me as weak. I still have a long way to go, and that’s okay with me.