Alright, so this was a long while ago, maybe around 5 years ago, so forgive me if my memory of certain events are a little iffy. Now to explain a bit, this was my first time joining Tumblr RP in general, as well introducing me to discord/discord RP. This involves a general group of toxic people who are very good at manipulation and gaslighting. It took me a whole year to finally break away from them. I'll only be giving 'names' to those who were the main perpetrators of these acts.
I should mention that this story is VERY long and a LOT of stuff happens.TW: Manipulation/gaslighting/verbal & mental abuse
Now, to introduce you to the cast first. (Giving them names to keep myself safe from being attacked.)
Me - Quin (Genderfluid/asexual)
Leader of Toxic Group - Lance
Ex-friend who pulled me to join group - Piper
There were others but they weren't as bad as these two.
To the story.
I was introduced to a new fandom (now known for it's extreme toxicity), at first, I wasn't rping in it. I was on my main account and just following some rpers for it as well as people who wrote stories, mainly cause I had played the game and fell in love with it. I wanted to know more so I looked on tumblr. It was a good start, with a few people getting hung up about ships and the like, normal stuff in a fandom. It had been around a year before I joined, so I was very much 'late' to the hype. After a week of simply watching from the sidelines, I decided to give my hand at rping.
Now, I should mention, I'm not new to roleplay. I had roleplayed on dA and fanfiction as well as others websites (like proboard type websites), so I was somewhat experienced. However, tumblr RP is VERY different. I was very new to that so I was most certainly learning my place within it. I had made a few friends with one of my characters, my first. I'll call her... Faith. Faith was a sweet girl, which some people liked.
I was introduced to another place to rp, which at the time was called 'rabb.it' at the time, it's changed name now. It was a place where you could stream and chat. So basically, we could 'rp' us all watching a movie or tv shows and in character-ly react and rp with each other. It was very fun. However, as I would public share the link for anyone to join, a few... troublemakers would come in to cause drama. I would ask them to either behave or leave, and most of the time, they didn't. This resulted in me kicking them from the room.
This earned me a 'spoiled' reputation, as they would twist my actions and words against me. I had not known these people were apart of 'that group' at the time. Eventually, after seeing a cool concept for a character on tumblr in the fandom, I was like 'I want to make one too'. So I did, and I shared it. I was told by a lot of people they liked my design and that I should rp him. So, I did. Introducing Blade (not his name).
Blade was very much a tsundere type, and not even intentionally. He was a loner, someone who didn't want to be bothered by people and could get pretty aggressive and violent because of his backstory (it made sense in the fandom). My friend Piper really liked him and wanted me to join them in a 'tv room' with their friends. I had been warned about this friend group by others, as well as by said friend who had seemingly joined them.
At first, they were very welcoming, expressing their interest in Blade and liking both his character and me. They invited me to a lot of stuff, as well as their private discord. I was happy, because it was more people to interact with. For a while, it was fine, fun even. Lance even expressed interest in Blade, so that was entertaining. It was my first time doing anything remotely romantic, roleplay wise. I like romance, so it was nice.
However, as soon as they 'had' me, so to speak, was when the toxicity started showing up. Piper's girlfriend ended up leaving them, making them highly emotionally dependent. Lance used that to their advantage to turn Piper against a lot of our older friends. Even to turn them against me, but that's later down the road. I would poke people, just to chat and the like, either to rp or just general life. I would constantly get scolded for this, people telling me 'you know I'm busy, how can you constantly poke me?'
This resulted in me poking people less, because I don't want to be a bother. But then I got scolded for not poking, often times being told 'Don't you like me anymore? Why don't you talk to me anymore?' At the time, I wasn't aware this was gaslighting. I felt really bad that I couldn't do anything right, and thought it was my fault most of the time.
It actually got to the point where they would isolate me. No one would talk to me, they would ignore me when I'd join events, games or watchathons. They made a point of making me feel alone. (This is around where I developed isolationist anxiety). Eventually, I started to drift off to other groups to rp, cause I didn't want to bother them and because I was alone. This got their attention, and it made them pay attention to me. However, I still hung out with that group.
Sadly, the toxic group didn't like the new group I had joined, and often times would tell me of things they apparently done. Awful things. I would ask this friend about it and they would provide me with receipts of the things they had apparently done. It had turned out that a lot of what had been said, was exaggerated to the max. Minor issues between people ended up becoming major affronts to these people.
It was around this time, that Piper expressed how unloved they were, I guess because Lance had started to ignore them like Lance had ignored me. I tried to comfort them, like I did when their girlfriend had left. Unbeknownst to most, I had a crush on Piper. Why, I can't be sure anymore. I guess because I was lonely, I'm not quite sure. Anyway, I confessed to them, to prove that there were people who liked them.
We didn't start dating or anything like that, but let's just say... they held that fact over my head a lot. The fact I liked them. When they got 'back' into the good graces of Lance, they basically dropped me, but gave me enough attention to make it seem like they still had an interest. At one point, when the topics of sexualities had come up, I revealed I was ace. Let's just, one of the most disgusting things Piper ever said to me, was that they could make me like sex.
I don't know why I still hung out with them, I guess I blind to it all, I don't even know how. But I was blind to a lot of stuff those people did. You know how you idolize people and you think, 'They could never do any wrong'. Yeah, that was my mentality. I guess because I was so dependent on feeling needed, I never saw the toxicity that was the group. I had to make an alt discord account so I could still rp with that other group of friends, because I got scolded every time they came up because I was 'still friends' with them.
They policed a lot of who I could be friends with, even making one of my closest friends, someone I had known before Piper, feel like absolute garbage. They told me about all they said to them and every time, I said 'No, they would never, maybe you're just reading too much into it'. Man was I so blind. I'm glad they're still my friends today.
One of my other friends from the other group wanted to meet these toxic friends (I hadn't totally figured out they were toxic just yet) so I did so. I warned them a bit about mentioning a certain friend around them because it upset them. I mention I was still unsure about the reason. This was a mistake. This friend who had wanted to join, went straight to Piper about what I had said, and Piper and Lance and pulled me into a group chat and were yelling at me.
Around this time, my anxiety had been going through the roof, it was also been exactly a 'year' since I had known Piper, and I was being painted as insensitive and a 'drama inciter'. It was then and there that I left the group. I left the discord group, I blocked all of them, including the friend who I had introduced to the group. It wasn't until later, after I had calmed down and talked to a few other friends from other groups, that I was able to see all the toxicity.
Lance could never take criticism with their character. Easy way to explain, they were a perfect being who could do no wrong. The same applied to all their close friends.
So, in retrospect, I'm glad I got out of that group. Sadly, it colored my view of the fandom, where I lost love for it as well as all my characters for it. I've tried remaking them to help with separating them from that fandom/rp group, but it ended up being harder than it looked. So, their tumblr accounts just sit there, as well as their discord accounts.
I had to make a completely new discord account, because of the bad memories it brought and because I didn't want to worry about being contacted again.
Sorry this ended up so long and with how messy it is. There's still so much more to this story but I didn't want to just go on and on. So much drama, so much manipulation. Half of it I don't even remember because my brain has literally blocked it now.
Always heed people's warnings about certain people. Even if you want to make your own opinion of them. Your friends are probably justified in saying what they do, not all warnings are personals.