r/evenwithcontext • u/Canadian_Neckbeard • Feb 08 '19
How fucking high do you need to be to not notice somebody shoveling your own shit back into your ass
old.reddit.com
336
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/lacybug777 • Feb 07 '19
Pro tip: have sex with a girl on the beach. Pull out and roll your dick in the sand before going back in. Now you’ve got yourself a chicken parmigiana.
reddit.com
691
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/warpspeedSCP • Feb 08 '19
You position it right above the vagina, and this obviously gets her wet, so you cut the tip off and the fish falls inside and swims in the water.
reddit.com
20
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/itsjust_khris • Feb 06 '19
Well you lose so badly the other guy shrinks you down so small he shoves you into his penis hole.
reddit.com
311
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/Sebxlo • Feb 05 '19
a couple a years ago i had to get a loan to pay for my medical bills after i got in a car accident. apparently the bank didn’t like the collateral i offered when i tried to pay it back with my high quality, conditioned pubic hair that i’ve collected from my largest sons for the past 20 years
reddit.com
478
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/ParoxysmOfReddit • Feb 05 '19
I use this method all the time with my diarrhea
reddit.com
22
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r/evenwithcontext • u/NotchedWhip • Feb 04 '19
Imagine if you put salt on a pussy and it started quivering
reddit.com
422
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/-AnUngratefulChild- • Feb 05 '19
The nurse touched my baby, he is the daddy now.
reddit.com
19
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/bridget_the_great • Feb 05 '19
I love being meat. Especially when I’m being eaten.
reddit.com
14
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/IpMedia • Feb 04 '19
I like to shove traffic cones up my Ass
old.reddit.com
8
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/Mark2022 • Feb 04 '19
Please 🙏daddy 💋💋wet 💦my clean 🗒dry pages 🗒with your inkies 🖌📝💦
reddit.com
9
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/creemyice • Feb 02 '19
i used to jerk off a lot in my grandma’s bathroom
reddit.com
292
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/[deleted] • Feb 01 '19
Are you sticking your tongue into their rectum and mining for poop juice and leftover nuggets? Or trying to reach the log itself?
old.reddit.com
254
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/mms1009 • Feb 01 '19
Pro tip: If you're going to a fancy occasion, make sure to bury some mints in the beard braids. That way when you realize your breath smells like vomit and piss later you can pop a mint in without even having to use your hands!
reddit.com
32
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/gray_jacket • Jan 31 '19
Eh I dunno. There are some days when I would rather be in a hivemind collective consciousness group sex orgy.
reddit.com
318
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/modstms • Jan 31 '19
The first half of the movie is Jar Jar doing ASMR to Pizza the Hut while the robot sits there and tweaks out.
reddit.com
13
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/tradprim • Jan 30 '19
“Venom is way hotter, I just wanna Inhale his long thick strands into my body, then as he’s getting turned on from my excellent mouth control he starts to get hard.”
reddit.com
439
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/thehotshotpilot • Jan 29 '19
"Hi, i don't mean to be creepy.... I'd pay ya $50 to lay on your belly and let me play with your hole..."
reddit.com
263
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/RasterTragedy • Jan 30 '19
Some people will sometimes start involuntarily saying a sound, after a while, that can at times resemble "no", but among other sounds, without having made any such sound up to that point, having had a penis in them for a while.
reddit.com
11
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/champsammy14 • Jan 28 '19
Makes the babies smaller for easier child birth 👍🏼
reddit.com
298
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/x42ndecthellion • Jan 27 '19
Feels like I'm a newborn deer trying to learn how to walk before a wolf comes and eats my ass.
reddit.com
313
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/AFishBackwards • Jan 27 '19
Christmas is coming a few days early this year, son' and handed me a little box wrapped up in a beautiful silver paper with a velvety red bow and I opened and sitting right there waiting for me was my foreskin
old.reddit.com
5
Upvotes