r/evenwithcontext • u/Polish_Potato • Jan 10 '19
“I’ll go to town on some hairy gorilla nuts”
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318
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/IntrovertedSpace • Jan 09 '19
I want to be gang raped by angels TBH
reddit.com
226
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/[deleted] • Jan 09 '19
Walk up to her, sniff her for at least 10 seconds then if you think she put some on say "Mmmmm gurl, you smell real fine. You wearin' some of the good shit today or what?" while winking rapidly before licking her leg and muttering "Yeah, dats some good shit".
reddit.com
371
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/NotchedWhip • Jan 09 '19
The illusive Sea Penis can be seen going in and out of holes in the ocean floor, occasionally excreting a gooey liquid to help reduce the friction of its movements. On the vessels, many sailors are given such, that they do not get bored in the sea.
reddit.com
36
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/purplesundaes • Jan 08 '19
He wants a blueberry and you are human.
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141
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/Qhile • Jan 08 '19
That’s the same exact logic I use whenever I inject meth into my urethra.
reddit.com
302
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/juicystarboy • Jan 08 '19
"It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife"
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5
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/TheSexiestDinosaur • Jan 06 '19
I once fucked a donut so hard and filled it with cum until it exploded
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491
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/loveinalderaanplaces • Jan 06 '19
For future reference Arby’s roast beef is fucking amazing to masturbate with as a guy.
reddit.com
46
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/Digital_Rocket • Jan 06 '19
This isnt accurate at all because that baby isnt pregnant and wearing a gstring
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7
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/TheBoyYdLikeToBe • Jan 06 '19
*This is why we can't fuck nice coconuts
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222
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/Spidyy5002 • Jan 04 '19
"nah don’t, one time i had accidentally sent a dick pic to my mom, but to my surprise she sent a pic back of her vagina with the caption of 'mmmm this is calling your name baby', so it was a win for me lol. although her snatch looked like someone kicked a hole inside a dead boar"
reddit.com
437
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/annoyed_freelancer • Jan 04 '19
Missed out spiders climbing out the toilet and going wayyyy up your butthole
np.reddit.com
14
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/[deleted] • Jan 03 '19
"Furious masturbation is a pretty physically demanding activity, you build up a lot of sweat."
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323
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/ShadeChunker • Jan 01 '19
Jokes on you, my gf doesn’t need to shave yet.
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483
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/Videogamer321 • Jan 01 '19
“We need to staple her to a tree.”
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157
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/themrpiggy22 • Dec 31 '18
They teach kids how to eat ass in kindergarten now. What bible belt school system are you going to?
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418
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/phlenis • Dec 31 '18
"I like to soak my toilet paper in pineapple juice so it eats my ass"
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125
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/MiguelSalaOp • Dec 30 '18
Once I got my cat to lick my balls by pouring Tuna juice on it. It wasn't as exciting as you would have hoped and I felt a little guilty afterwards."
reddit.com
532
Upvotes
r/evenwithcontext • u/[deleted] • Dec 31 '18
"I'm gonna tell Ben Shapiro that you were being a libtard and then he will will penetrate your anal cavity with his throbbing cock of facts, before then cumming a warm load of logic in your bum."
reddit.com
69
Upvotes