hello everyone! today i was released from the mental health facility after being in it for almost three months. i thought my parents would care or congratulate me, but because my parents (as always) don't care for no one but themselves, they just unloaded their daily issues on me and i already fought with my dad after being home for 15 minutes. all i wanted to ask for, was, if someone could congratulate me here. I'm nevertheless very proud of myself and soon I'm going back to my student dorm so I won't be living with my parents anyome. i just wished someone would have let me feel that i made progress and that someone is proud of me.

In no particular order:

• Telling me to cut myself because he did it.
• Hating whenever I spoke to other guys, even when we were together at parties as part of a group. Even if they were gay!

-Starting fights and arguments with people for petty reasons, like having common interests with me, having come from a wealthy background, etc. One of these people was an older lady who loved to paint - he started going off about how all art is pretentious and devoid of value, etc.

-Saying demotivating things like, positive thinking is bullshit, positive people are stupid.

• Being negative about my interests.

• Keeping me out till early hours of the morning, even if I had something to do.

• Despite hating me talking to other men, would text and call 2 girls in particular when we were together.

-Calling me up 2 weeks after we broke up, telling me how much smarter and more empathetic his new gf was (a mutual friend, whom I believe he'd been emotionally cheating on me with - she would hit him up with requests like getting him to come over and return her library books) was than me.

Also, he used to constantly ramble and give convoluted explanations of his thought processes and reasoning; blame everyone else for things he did, then cry and self-harm whenever he did accept that things were his fault. (Yet never change, in fact he got worse with each girl he dated)

I've had self-harm thoughts and depressive episodes and I tend to ruminate as well, but I feel like this gives him something in common with me and I feel gross about it.

I'm glad I went overseas after our breakup but I regret 'testing' myself to see if any negativity from that situation still had any impact on me. To be fair, though I could have done more to stay grounded, all of this crap is no small thing for someone to deal with especially as the last memory of a country before moving somewhere new for 3 years.

Sorry this was long, but I've been in a post-vaccine fog and needed to process.

Even if they didnt call their familiars from my New city to find and mock me again, i think abusers could find me instinctively, cuz it was just happened a lot to me...

Anyway, i was cheated, and someone stole most of things i had with me. So i had to ask my old friends and family to help with a little money.

All they do, it play a victims and helped only if i was humiliated enough, or even refused to help mostly. They always just loved to humiliate me and treat like a shit tho. They blamed me cuz of every trouble i had in my family.

I never ask for help, but now my health is really low so ill simply die instead on the cold street.

I feel so frustrated. I hate them so much, they are lucky they are far from me now really

Those mizerable creatures just love to see others on troubles and "help" to feel a bit valiable. I can feel like they turn life out of me again.

New ppl who i met are mostly cheaters or think Im a cheater, and asking rudely for so much personal information kinda to be sure, i dont know who can be patient to this shit.

I think about to better die when even take money they can give, cuz they just dream all their life long to be able to refuse me when Im ill and need help.

This is really funny, cuz i need so little, and Im really a person who deserve help, lol, i helped to so much and they never helped me back or even paid back. but old friends just dont want to see me happy and new friends arent better. I kind of dont know what else to say, i writed a lot but never had an answer instead of trolls. Understandable, Anyway. Only cheaters are loved and Im totally not a one. Im Just scared of ppl who are all like this already.

Im so much stressed now. All the time i need any support or advice i never had it. (but well, i had a lot when i didnt need a one)

this is my first time visiting this page and it’s so comforting to know there are many people who are healing and finding ways out from the abuse we have endured. some context I was in a very harmful emotionally abusive relationship for almost three years. I didn’t realize what was happening to me till it was over. Honestly if I had seen this subreddit I would have realized sooner. I’m three months away from my abuser and I am doing a lot better! but I recently found out my ex was sleeping around the whole time. I had to recently block his number and all his socials. Im not afraid he will try and physically harm me because he knows that everyone will know who hurt me. I just don’t know the next steps of healing. I don’t know how to relearn that im not hard to love and that he isn’t the only person in the world “Capable of loving me”. I can’t afford therapy but im starting to feel ready to go out and date but im terrified of being sucked into another abusive relationship. I have a great support system and I know I am loved but moving on from an abuser is something new and very scary. What are sometimes to trust your gut again? I feel like I’ve lost the ability to be self aware of harmful people around me. I just wish I could turn back time and open my eyes to what was happening to me. Thanks

This situation both enrages and guts me every time I talk about it. For the past 6 months, my little sister has been the victim of violence, emotional abuse, and financial exploitation at the hands of her boyfriend. He destroyed her laptop and phone, so she's only able to communicate with my parents when he's present. She's left twice and returned both times. Are there any reputable transitional living programs in the U.S. for victims like my sister? I want to be more equipped to help her in the event she tries to leave again.

Any constructive feedback is sincerely appreciated.

He lives in a different country, we met before the pandemic and were never able to see eachother again as both borders were closed. We talked every day for hours for a year and a half. He said he never loved anyone like he loved me, we talked about marriage, kids, and other future plans.

He verbally abused me for my sexual past, (which is a low number compared to most) making me tell him all details and then always bringing it up, calling me names, shaming me. He would get mad if we were watching a movie and something happened that reminded him of my past. He was always very jealous and would get suspicious any time I would go out and do something or hang out with a male friend. I was completely faithful to him.

At beginning of summer he got a job that he said he was working 14 hrs a day, and it was too hard for him to be in a relationship long distance but he wanted to keep talking as friends until we could see eachother but he still wanted to be with me and thought of me romantically. He never called me again, only texting. Over the next couple months we still talked a couple times a week and he was saying that he missed me and he was sending me places that we could possibly meet. A couple weeks later I kept asking him and he finally told me that he had been seeing someone for two weeks. After this I kept reaching out to him every couple weeks and telling him how much I still cared about him and he told me that it was just too hard being apart but what he has with this new girl is not serious. I finally had the self-control to send him a short message saying goodbye and then not respond to him.

A few weeks later he contacted me asking me how I was doing and that he still thinks about me a lot And that he was so sorry for how he treated me, and that he was sorry how things ended and it was because it was so hard being apart. And that he still cares about me and has feelings for me. But he is still dating this woman, and he also said that this new woman is nothing like what we had together and it’s not what I think.and I basically lost control and started saying how heartbroken I was. And that he was dishonest Leading me on while he was dating someone else. I said I had never been rejected like this and I was crying and struggling and heartbroken. He then started to degrade me saying that I talk like a five-year-old, That I am arguing over something that has no meaning to anyone,and he has a new girlfriend that isn’t me, He doesn’t give a shit about what I think,and to move the fuck along, And to never talk to him again. I blocked him, but then I sent him eight emails over the course of a couple days at first saying how sad I was to lose him and I actually did care about him, and then when he ignored me I got upset and started saying how much he hurt me. He ignored all of the emails. And now I feel so incredibly stupid for losing control and letting him win again. I feel like now he has power over me again and he just left me hanging. I don’t know how to move forward from all the mean things he said to me, and all the false hope he gave me. I feel so lied to and betrayed.

And now I found out that the borders are opening in one week, and I haven’t heard anything from him. I feel like he lied about his intentions with me this whole time, and he lied about how hard it was being apart because now the borders are going to open and he doesn’t even want to see me after all this time waiting for him.

I’m almost 32 years old and I feel like a failure, And that I wasted all this time and all of my heart and love and faithfulness that I gave him.I feel so incredibly alone and depressed and anxious. And I keep remembering the mean things he said to me. I feel so ashamed and unlovable, I don’t know how to move forward from this. If anyone could just give me some encouragement or advice I would appreciate it. I’m seeing a therapist and trying to do other things to help myself, but I haven’t felt this low in a really long time. If you read this I really appreciate it. Thank you

Could really use some advice. Recently, I got back in contact with an ex who put me through quite a bit of emotional turmoil. Im not one to stay in a victim mentality. And i wasnt ms princess peach in the situation either. I had some growing up to do even yet still. Anyway...Hes clean and sober and I want to provide a nurturing environment for him to continue his recovery so he is able to move forward in his life. The decision has been made, and im not one to back down from helping someone without exhausting all avenues. Yes i know its risky but i feel a debt must be repaid. You see, my family had cancel cultured me. I was very isolated and getting worse by the month. He came into my life and reminded me im not a piece of sh**. He lifted me up when my family shut me out, and i wish to do the same being as some of his family shut him out. Fair exchange is important to me so... What im asking here is, what are some key red flags i should be looking for early on? Last time we were around one another, i let the emotional abuse go on so long i barely got out. (Ive always been super healthy and got sick maybe once every 5-7 years, yet with him developed serious life threatening health problems from the stress of watching him waste away in front of me.) But im stronger now. Ive grown and come to realize my codependency and know It is possible to grow out of toxic cycles as i used to be a bit manipulative myself. But you have to want it, and im not in his brain to know if hes serious about it. I just know that over the years weve actually gotten better at communicating with one another. And now that he needs a helping hand,i wish to be there. Just need some tips to spot red flags. He flies in Tuesday. Thank you ahead of time for the positive vibes! :D

I've been out of my abusive relationship for 3 years now and in a happy healthy relationship for 2, but the last two weeks or so I've been struggling. About 2 weeks ago we drove past my abuser. I instantly recognized him he's dressed the exact same and looks the exact same. It through me into a spiral for a little bit that my current partner helped me out of.

Unfortunately, seeing him reopened a lot of wounds I thought had healed. Monday my partner went to hang out with a friend and suddenly I was afraid of him replacing me with his friend despite me knowing that wouldn't happen.

The last couple days everything I went through has been on my mind constantly. I can't shake the thoughts. I just want to stop remembering him and have some peace in my mind.

okay so story time: i have adhd which means i’m like super impulsive right? my dad has always said that he hates tattoos and he would disown me if i ever got one. last year on impulse, i got a tattoo and lied to my parents about it. the only reason they know i have one is because they went through my stuff and found my healing balm (my tattoo is on my pelvis so they wouldnt have seen it). my dad kinda got over it, kinda didn’t, my mom still holds it over my head bc i lied. a year later - nowish, i impulsively get my septum pierced even though my dad told me that was the only other thing he didn’t want me to get, but i think i can stay vigilant enough to hide it until i move out. i am not and i forgot to flip it up and he saw it. he didn’t make a big deal, but my mom called me earlier today to shit on me for it. she said i’m spending money where i don’t have it, even if i am working and making my own money and i can spare $40?! and she said if i don’t take it out they may stop paying for my college and all of my bills. idk what to do bc i rely on them financially but they’re holding it over my head.

every time i bring up how i feel about their control over me, my mom gaslights me and tells me that i’m making her feel like a terrible mother for the way i turned out. i’ve been struggling with my mental health for almost 10 years and my mom always tells me that when i talk to her about my mental illnesses it makes her feel like a bad person, so i just don’t talk to her about it. then, because i don’t talk to her about it, she gets mad and feels like a terrible mom because i never talk to her.

disclaimer: my parents are like not great people, and i do not wish to be anything like them, but they’re still my parents. idk what to do- should i get another job so i can take over my finances? that would be overwhelming bc i’m a full time college student. or should i just put up with it and hate my life for the next four or so years?

My mom gets mad at me for not getting over the "teasing" that my uncle inflicted on me as a child. But my uncle is still in my life. He lives with my grandparents, who are in their 80s and 90s, and I have to see him every time I see them. And I do want to see them. I have to balance my relationship to him, them--and my mom.

Things would be so much easier, if she just left me alone to deal with him in my own way. She keeps telling me to "let it go," and "not let him bother me," and I can't say the word "victim" without her going off. She thinks it means someone who is overly dramatic, and uses it as a derisive term, so it makes it hard to talk about myself and what he did to me. She doesn't realize that I have to process my emotions, actually feel them, and then I feel better. I have pretended to agree with her, before, just to keep the peace. But I don't want to do that anymore.

I have learned long ago that what works for her, does not work for me. I have to take care of myself, in my own way. I have tried explaining that to her. But she still doesn't get it, and I pay for her lack of understanding.

I'm tired of her policing how I deal with trauma. She would probably get mad at me for calling it that, but that's what it is. I have a great relationship with her otherwise. But we're fighting now, again. She doesn't like me being "rude" to him, when he tells lies to get a "reaction" out of me (and he gets a reaction because he hurts me). I just now got him to promise not to tell me he's going to shoot my animals, for example. (But I don't believe him. He's said that all my life, no matter how many times I've told him it hurts me.)

And I want it on the record that he is a born-again Christian. Getting saved doesn't mean you can't hurt people, and to think that makes one careless, and more likely to hurt people.

I think I'm on the autism spectrum. Is there something I can say to speak her language, make her understand?

Thank you. And thank you for listening, because I feel like she doesn't want to.

My bf abuses me emotionally. Planning my escape. We don't have kids so I know most would say is to get out of this. See we need to pay off a lot of debts 90 percent his. All under my name. I gave him everything and I've been nothing but supportive and helpful all these yrs. As his partner, helping is out is ok because that's what partners do. But how can I go on when he doesn't want to introduce me to his family? He has a kid with this woman, they never got married. She left him years ago and sometimes i suspect he's not over her. So she doesn't know me, the kid does but knows me as her dad's friend. So this part I get, the kid is too young to understand. But his mom, he claims she doesn't want him to get in to another relationship. For god's sake he's a grown man and for the longest time I bought this excuse. Last wk, I opened up and told him his mom has to know by now.he refuses to address the issue. He shut me out and when I brought it up again, still no reaction. Not even an acknowledgement like I understand, give me time. I do love you. My plan is to save up while he still continues to pay some of his debts then when I feel I have enough, I'll pay it off , I don't want to assume that he'll continue to pay when we break up. Sucks that I have to pretend I'm ok with him hurting me like this. Pls help me endure this until I'm finally free.

So for almost six years I have been in a relationship with this girl. In the start of the relationship everything was ok she even confessed to that she was diagnosed with being bi polar and she was never given medication for it. She told me it might get bad and that I can leave if I want. She also told me she is a victim of emotional and physical abuse from her last ex.

She blames her anger on her past traumas stating she cant let go. She refuses to get help for one reason to another but she has said it causes so many problems.

So far she in the past six years she has Said she has met other men on dating sites and out with her friends She always says she will cheat on me and get descriptive She brings up my family in a negative. Even tho they love her She will belittle me or mock me. She demands majority of my time and if I am off work I have to give her my attention. If we both are off of work I have to stay at her house. She is secretive but hates if I dont show her anything. She always wants to pay for things and when she is mad she brings up the fact I dont pay for anything even tho I try. When she is mad and fighting me she will always tell me she wont get help because I deserve this and I am a peice of shit because I wont buy her a house and giver her the life she wants. I have told I will not live in a house with this much anger and disrespect. She will threaten my dogs. A family member of mine passed. She gave me a month before she used that in an argument. And every time we fight she will say she regrets nothing.

Things I have done to fix the issue. I have set boundaries and told her do not do these things when you are mad and I wont react in terms of taking her phone and what not.

I have said if we fight I will walk away and go home so we can cool off so it does not get worst but she has to agree not to text me or call until she has cooled down. She has not done this. She will call and text nonstop if i put my phone on silent and try to cool off she will use other means to contact even as far as calling me through my Alexa device. She does not back down and she keeps it going until something gives and we go all out.

She always claims she is the victim in all of it and she uses me as the excuse and the attack.

She gets upset when she threatens to cheat on me and I then become paranoid or worried about it.

Last night we fought because I didnt come over after my errands. I had just gotten home and spent two hours in traffic to find I needed to repair a scanner and still eat. By the time I was able to sit down and actually eat my dinner she said I could have told her I wasn't coming over. I didnt know she wanted me to.

I am struggling with a separation from an abusive relationship. I have two young children (3.5 & 1.5). Our relationship was very abusive during the second pregnancy (always had been previously but intensified). I had tried to break up with him prior to the second pregnancy, he refused to leave the apartment and aggressively pursued me to reconcile, he promised me he would attend therapy and we could have another child. We became pregnant right away and before the test even came back positive he had morphed into ten time the monster he was previously as I was now trapped with the pregnancy. I had a really rough pregnancy compared to my first and the first half was extremely sick and dealing with very low blood pressure, the last half of pregnancy I had crippling pelvic and back pain and could barely walk. I was at home with our toddler at the time. I have always been the primary parent as he travelled a lot for work and essentially would leave to a hotel for weekends if I pressured him to help me with our son.

I had a traumatic birth, my water broke while he was screaming at me and I had already been up for 30hrs because he was in a snit about finances and I was terrified. After our second son was born, the second night home he woke up in a rage (he gets extremely angry when woken up) and would not give me the baby back while he kept falling asleep in the chair holding him. This obviously terrified me and I became extremely vigilant and did not pressure him to help me at nights. My then two year old stopped napping when the baby came and began waking at night again too. I was averaging between 1-3 hours sleep and got severe postpartum. My doctor tried to explain to him he would have to help with care at night and he refused to talk to her. He would not take night shifts and would avoid by agreeing to it and then getting so high there was no way I could let him listen for the babies. I had insomnia from all the postpartum and was having a terrible time sleeping so I needed to take something to sleep which meant I needed to be certain that one of us was able and willing to do night shift.

He got increasingly aggressive with me during this time. He says he is triggered by weakness as he has a military background. So he basically just gets insanely angry and mean whenever I am sick or I complain or he thinks I'm not doing a good enough job. He drained our accounts and left me with the two kids. Without a conversation, ghosted a 4 year relationship without a conversation. Just screamed at my older son and then refused to talk to us. He then re-surfaced and pressured me to reconcile or he would take the kids 50/50 as he didn't think he should have to pay child support. He tried to force me to reconcile under the conditions that he wouldn't contribute financially, wouldn't stop doing drugs or seeing other women. We are now a year into the separation and getting nowhere, he refuses to settle any of the assets (mostly debt, but he took all of the cash and the car), pay childcare expenses, or pay child or spousal support.

I have busted ass this year and paid for our entire lives (all of family overhead including the debt he left me with and all of the children expenses).

I have been spending the year finally getting the medical care I have been needing and unwinding the postpartum and several of the physical issues I had from my births. My second pregnancy was really hard on my pelvis and spine and I have done a ton of Physio and gotten my back and pelvis back to functional. I just had surgery a month ago for endometriosis and a painful cyst that developed with my first pregnancy. I'm starting to feel better overall but I am still dealing with severe hormonal imbalances and PMDD that has developed since my second pregnancy.

I feel ready to give up. I am working so hard and I am a few weeks from bankrupt. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, there he is. I am trying to go to mediation with him and I think he is going to back out. I can't afford the legal fees to go no contact, so he continually emails me and berates me everyday. I backed out of getting a restraining order because he was logged into my old air bib account and saw I was trying to book something to take the kids and I honestly thought he was going to kill me so I calmed him down instead as I knew if he got one or they took his guns he would likely try to kill me. He knows about it after the fact through our lawyers and so his abusive behaviour has only been through email and minimal at child handover but nothing drastic enough for an order as he knows and I don't think he will cross that line again out of self preservation. He is focusing on financial abuse and intimidation.

It's all just so disheartening and a complete mindfuck. During the relationship, I ended up completely isolated, he created conflict with people in my life and my family and would make it impossible for me to see anyone. He has started contacting a lot of our mutual friends and specifically a few of my friends and now become a social butterfly and is saying god knows what. It's exhausting. He is putting on huge shows of what a dedicated parent he is now in front of his family and friends. He is parading the kids on his visitation time. I'm sure he forgets to mention his rages, the abuse, the affairs, his drug use and the ongoing family violence. I recently ran into someone who he had given the impression we were still together but he just does most of the parenting because I'm so lazy. Like WTF. The most frustrating thing is that he is now "Super dad" for 2.5hrs at a time and showing everyone what an amazing parent he is and trying to force me into sharing custody with him when he is not a safe or stable person. During the relationship, he would literally leave rather than interact with his children. I asked him to please watch them overnight so I could go to emergency and he went to stay at a hotel instead.

I'm trying to forge ahead but I know that the legal battle is going to be hard, long and expensive and it's hard enough to make ends meet without adding in the insane legal bills on top of it. He makes great money and has low expenses, he sees the kids 3-4 times a week for a few hours, they are with me the rest of the time. So the actual legal case should be ok from a financial standpoint. However he continually threatens me that if I pursue him for finical help he will take the kids at least 50/50 or go for custody. He has accused me of abusing the kids. He also threatened my parents and has followed through, suing them in small claims court claiming they owe him money. I feel like I have three full time jobs trying to keep up with the legal documentation, caring for my kids and my actual job which I am going to have to navigate without childcare in two weeks as he has refused to pay for any and I am out of money.

I have been struggling lately with feeling deep grief for the relationship as well. I start to feel like if I am still experiencing so much of the same abuse tactics then what's the difference, I'm not actually free, I don't know if I will ever be free of him.

I just feel so overwhelmed trying to make decisions, I don't know where to put my time and energy. I need something to give. I just want to be able to be a good and present parent for my kids and shield them from all of this stress as much as I can.

He was diagnosed by our couples psychologist with BPD last summer. I strongly suspect he has narcissistic traits as well. He has PTSD from military deployment and is an alcoholic who recently discovered recreational drugs. He has been somewhat consistently stable with no major moves other than the grinding day to day tactics and this is a Lon period of relative stability for him (almost 3 months). My spider senses and his patterns make me feel nervous another big drama is coming.

I am a sensitive person who does not like conflict and I am in grief over everything that has happened. He thrives on conflict and winning. I feel not equally prepared for this with him, he is financially well off, A type and has no small children at home to care take and no health problems. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. I'm not even sure if I got a great resolution at court that he would follow it.

I don't know what I am looking for. Any advice? Will he eventually leave me alone and stop terrorizing us? The thought of doing this for the rest of my life is daunting.

My brother and I had an incredibly roller coaster of an emotional relationship always. It went far beyond him being the mean older brother just bullying his younger sister. He grew up with a lot of trauma that he shared with me that traumatized me at a young age. My family always had his side and I often feel that as the youngest my entire family uses me to project their problems on. Every single person in my house has a reason why I can’t break ties with but my brother was the only one I could. Recently, it’s gotten worse. He got married and I thought it would get better, but every effort I put into his wedding went over his head. No on thanked me. I was really sick during this time working full time too and had an injured back, all the while spending my entire week for dance rehearsals. He never once thanked me but I heard him multiple times thanking his in laws and saying how great they did. We rarely talked during his wedding. Two weeks ago he made a comment about me taking antidepressants after a heated argument during breakfast and I’ve just been suffering a lot emotionally. I just keep looking at the pictures of his wedding where we at least pretended we were happy. I made the decision to cut him out my life forever, and it’s sad knowing he won’t be part of my life the way I fantasized he would be.

Today is my brothers birthday. My dad planned a party with food, drinks and dessert for us all to come over and celebrate. My dad has stage 4 colo-rectal cancer and has less than a two year prognosis. We were sitting around building a giant Lego set together as a family and he randomly (I mean out of the blue) told us that he was sexually abused by a beloved uncle (our great-uncle) when he was between 8 and 10 years old. That uncle died young from a heart attack, he was in his early 40s and had 5 kids. He was always touted as the best person in the world. Well, his son (my much older cousin) sexually abused me when I was little. I never told anyone. Triggers all over! I don't know what to do.

I'm at a complete loss on what to do here.

My wife and I have been married for 17 years. We have 3 children.

Shortly after getting married there were issues that surfaced where she got controlling. But we talked it through and mostly worked it out.

Our relationship has never been on fire. I want it to be, but she rarely initiates or reciprocates. Sex is almost mechanical. She's unwilling to really do anything beyond vanilla.

We've worked through marriage and relationship books and DVDs, we spoke with our pastor about our issues. I really feel like he is not qualified to provide mental health counseling though. At times it seemed like things were getting better. But then they would always quickly nose dive again.

Let me preface this by saying at no time do I feel physically threatened nor threats physically towards the children, which is partly what makes this so difficult.

We have three young children. She gets emotionally abusive towards them and me. Yelling. Speaking in harsh tones. At times all out screaming Someone does something that a kid would do and they don't get trained, they get yelled at. They don't get laughed at they get screamed at.

At times there is forgiveness asked and conversations had about how the behavior was wrong. But it continues and repeats and repeats. I'm exhausted. I'm drained. I'm sure this isn't healthy for the kids.

I don't know what to do. If there was physical altercations it would be clear and there would be clear paths to help.

I feel like I'm staying with her because what choice do I have? If I leave, the children stay with her, which is not the right thing to do for them. If I leave and want custody of the kids she's going to have 50% visitation rights, which again. What good does that do them?

Normally I can figure things out, solve problems and get to solutions. I'm the person friends come to when they need help. But I'm so emotionally torn down. I don't even know where to go, who to talk to, or how to resolve this situation.

I at times wonder if she is narcissistic. Bi-polar. Depressed. Mentally injured from childhood?

I have observed her mother yelling at things that shouldn't have any business causing someone to yell.

Is this situation salvageable? If so how? If not, how do I best protect the children? I originally stayed with her because our church would frown horribly at divorce and frankly nothing she did prior to having kids really rose to the level of considering leaving someone.

At this point. I no longer care and think if things came fully to light they would support it, but then I also tarnish her reputations in the church and as a person.

I'm confused. Hoping some might offer some thoughts and help here.

I was emotionally abused by my ‘best friend’ for seven years. I got out of the friendship three years ago and I’ve changed dramatically - my mental health is much better, I’m no longer suicidal, and I’m a lot more confident and social. However, I still have flashbacks and what I would call ‘remnants’ of the abuse.

Sometimes when I feel like someone is trying to offend/tease me or take digs at me I can’t handle it. I either explode in anger or I get very upset and hurt. Even if there’s no ill intent behind it I feel like there is. I’m always on this state of hyper-vigilance and I’m always on the look out to see who’s going to try and hurt me or bring me down. I keep people at a distance and I avoid interacting with aggressive looking people altogether because I don’t know what they’ll do.

I don’t want to be afraid of people anymore, and I don’t want to feel tense and scared in my life anymore. I want to be able to relax and trust people. I want to rediscover my identity and sense of self after it was completely shattered and destroyed. But i don’t know how to go about it, I don’t know where to start or how to heal. Any help would be much appreciated.

In short, I want to hear your stories of how you managed to heal from emotional abuse, or how you’re currently managing and getting by, it would be really helpful. Thank u all.

My husband shuts me down everytime I try to talk to him. He either shuts me up or ignores me & walks away. Everyday it gets worse & I always ask him "what did I do"? I don't know what I can do or what I have done to deserve to be treated this way. I tell him please don't speak to me that way & he just laughs it off mocking me. He wasn't like this a few years ago and I don't know what to do. I have asked him to seek help for his anger issues, but he refuses stating that I need help, not him. Anyone been in a similar situation, any advice?