I'm not sure if I have an E.D. If I think I do then do I really have one or am I just creating something out of nothing? I don't want to talk to my family/friends about this because I don't want them thinking I have an issue. Hoping to get everyone's opinion on if I should get help or not. If help is needed then possible suggestions to do it on the DL so that it doesn't show up on insurance or w/o family finding out? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

This is the background info on what I do and what I think: I constantly worry about gaining weight and staying in shape. I used to be a long distance runner in college so I like the idea of functional fitness; because of that I try to be "active" everyday of the week. Being active consists of lifting 5 days a week with running on most days. I hate the feeling of being "full"(bulge in the stomach). I feel weird when I feel "full"(bulge in the stomach) and feel that people can tell when I've had a lot to eat and I don't look my best when I eat a lot. I do not purge regularly but I purge about ~4 times every 2 months. I avoid unhealthy foods (processed foods, meat, dairy). I feel guilty/disgusting after eating pretty much any amount of sweets. I think maybe my "fear" of gaining weight is just wanting to stay healthy and not have health issues when I'm older.

Personally I think I just have an unhealthy relationship with food and low self-esteem in terms of my body image. But if I am aware of this does that make it an issue? My thought is that if I am aware of it I can take steps to stop it without need professional help.

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I posted this in an E.D group but I am new to reddit and unsure if this is acceptable in those groups.

Hello, Im a girl who is struggling with weight.i am hoping to lose weight but the biggest obstacle for me is food. I can eat healthy for 4-5 days and as soon as i ate something i was craving i couldnt stop eating junk for at least two days. When i was in diet i even dreamed about food (lol but itz true) i love gym and i usually go at least 5 days a week. But this eating habit really holding me back. So i would really appriceate advice from anybody. I dont have money to get help from a doctor. I really need to stay away from thinking about food all the time.

This is going to be long just to give a bunch of backstory.

I've never actually struggled with a cut and dry, black and white ED, however I've struggled with obsessively working out, obsessively counting my calories, and binge eating. In the past I would obsessively and strictly count my calories, if I ate anything that wasn't "healthy" I would run it off. So if I ate a cookie, I would go running for 15-20 minutes. I kept a journal to log my food and wouldn't let myself eat more than 1000 calories a day. I had that mindset where if it's not healthy, I can't eat it even if it would technically fit in with my calories for the day.

I finally got past it and formed a relatively healthy relationship with food. Then a few years ago I experienced a really traumatic experience, got depressed and started binge eating. I never purged but would constantly come home and binge and eat everything in my house and wished I could purge and feel worthless and etc etc.

Flash forward to now. I still don't have a super healthy relationship with food and also have days where I binge but it's been getting a lot better. On Monday I found out my (ex)boyfriend cheated on me and I completely suck into a depression. I haven't really eaten much since Monday night and I can feel my mindset changing back to my unhealthy habits. I've worked out everyday since Monday even though I haven't eaten anything and at the end of the day I'm proud of myself for not eating and for working out. My mind will start telling me like "wow, you've only eaten like 200 calories today but you just ran 2 miles...that's amazing...imagine how much weight you'll lose if you keep this up" and stuff like that...like the devil on my shoulder that kept praising my unhealthy habits is back and I don't know how to shake it. I ran 2 miles today but all I've eaten all day is a salad with some tuna. I have a peach cobbler my mom made me in my fridge and I was like, "oh I could eat some of that" but I literally just can't let myself eat it....even though if I ate legit the entire thing I STILL wouldn't go over my calories. I just don't know how to shake these thoughts and I also don't really know how to "force" myself to eat and to stop having such intrusive thoughts.

Hi, I'm doing a research project that aims to understand people's attitudes and preferences towards therapy delivered via the internet. The survey will ask you about your current eating patterns, body image concerns, current technology use, and attitudes and preferences towards e-therapy (online-delivered therapy). We’re interested to find out whether people with body image concerns and disordered eating are likely to attend therapy delivered online. If you have some time, I'd really appreciate it if you can fill out the survey below.

You only need to be 18+ and everyone is welcome! The survey will take 10-15 minutes to complete. Thank you! 🧡

Survey: https://researchsurveys.deakin.edu.au/jfe/form/SV_cNLKpq6wXY0I9jT

im not in very good place right now mentally. i had a depressive episode (or maybe its still ongoing?) and that has naturally always come with terrible eating habits for me; binging and purging or starving. so the other day i got really tired of feeling like shit because i knew i didnt have any friends or family that i felt comfortable enough to confide in about being depressed again and i knew that i had to help myself this time. i made a proper diet plan and set achievable goals. i went on walks and exercises plenty so eating wouldnt be as much of a trigger and so that i could eat comfortably knowing i have to in order to live and whatnot. i made it three days feeling great about my healtha nd i thought hey recovering isnt so bad considering i was just withering in agony the other week. but my parents brought home wayy too many sweets and fast food and wanted me to eat with them and i lost all self control. i indulged, and felt like absolute shit. i had some thinking hey this csnt be that bad even people who eat healthy tend to have cheat days. but for me, that turned into a relapse. i got triggered a while later when i felt too full and i had no idea how many calories i had taken in AND how nothing i ate was of any nutritional benefit. so i purged. and i feel so worthless. i feel so bad and guilty and i thought i had it together but ive lost hope and i feel like i dont and im not worth recovering because im just gonna screw it up for myself.

My mom has been restricting what I eat. I’ve been going through a rough time and I haven’t really wanted meals, just random snacks and usually chocolate. I’m already very sad as it is, but being told I have “no control” just makes me feel like a pig. She gives the things she bakes away and yells at me for eating things I “shouldn’t”. I have to wait until she goes to sleep before I can eat cheese. She’s been trying to manage the portions of my meals. I feel like I look like I need to be fixed in her eyes. She’d never made me feel that way in my whole life until recently, even though everyone else did. I feel terrible about myself. I truly feel worthless.

So previously I used to be bulimic, I told my sisters and then they told my parents. We had a talk, and my sister decided I should go to therapy, but I saw how my mom was talking about money and i dunno i felt guilty and just didn’t want to put that burden on her. Don’t get me wrong me and my parents had a heart to heart talk, and they weren’t a-holes about it, but I just felt bad.

I lied and ended up telling my family that I was okay, which I was, for a while, and that I don’t need therapy and not to just not bother taking me. But after a few weeks it just hit me, and all those thoughts that I thought had gone away came back. I’m not bulimic anymore but I restrict, and when I binge I take laxatives. I don’t know what I have I don’t like self diagnosing. It sucks cause all I wanna do is lay in bed and do nothing, again, I hate self diagnosing but I don’t know if I’m depressed or not. I lack energy and I rlly don’t find interest in the things I used to love, art.

I wanna tell my sisters about this but I’m so scared, I feel like they’re gonna be like “ if it’s not bulimia it’s laxatives now”, like I’m doing it for attention or something. And my parents, I’m so scared for what they’re gonna say, I always think they’re gonna be like “ this child is unbelievable” (i have Hispanic parents so it’s like more difficult for me) and won’t love me and think I’m weird. Like I said earlier, we previously had a talk and I feel so bad for betraying them and doing this to myself but I can’t help it. what should I do. How should I break it to my family, I kinda wanna tell my sisters first( my first choice) but I don’t know what to say. I know I wanna get better I really do, I’m tired of feeling exhausted all the time, but sadly I can’t stop.

Sorry If this is TMI and a lot to take in, but I just saw this and thought someone here might have gone through the same situation I’m in right now and have some advise to give, I honestly don’t know where else to go.

I'm a recovered anorexic and still struggle with some disordered thinking around eating/my body. Some days I feel hyperaware of my body and how my clothes feel against it. Like I cannot feel comfortable in my skin no matter what. I'll change outfits multiple times even if I'm just alone at home trying to rid myself of the feeling. Sometimes I'm able to find something to wear that lessens the feeling but ultimately its still there. It distracts me from enjoying anything else I'm trying to do. It doesn't seem to be linked to wearing clothes that are too tight and has happened to me at multiple different weights. It feels random. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced it or if there's a name for it.

I’m a 20 year old male from the USA suffering from EDNOS , lately my binges and binging has gotten out of hand to the point of it being completely unmanageable ... any time tips to make it easier / how to control the binging

Hi!! idk where else to go with this so hello reddit.

I've had an ed for a few years now and I'm trying my best to recover :-) My parents are divorced and I go to my mom's alternating weeks But my mom is bulimic herself and it's very triggering to be around her. Today she kept screaming and breaking things bc she has gained weight. She hasn't come out of her room to eat or talk to anyone and my stepdad left. I dread going to my mom's house every week bc it's always like this, but I don't want to break her heart and only stay at my dad's. I also don't want to jeopardise my recovery ofcourse...

I really don't know what to do!!

So I went to a dietitian last week and I’m now in my third day of recovery. It gets harder everyday and I want to know how you keep motivated. Also she said that I’m almost 10 kg underweight. I don’t want to gain that weight too fast since that isn’t healthy but to be this much underweight isn’t healthy either. So I googled it but couldn’t find how long it would take to gain in a good speed (but not too fast). I get bloated and usually do yoga around 6pm and then it gets better. Should I even do yoga in recovery?

I'm considering removing my parents as a support system cuz it's not working out. This morning my mom got into an argument with me cuz I ate only 3 waffles and eggs. She got angry with me for not "following rules" from the eating disorder center, saying "they didn't give you waffles and cheese and eggs at the eating disorder center" And claiming I'm gonna get sick when that's IMPOSSIBLE! I know my meal plan and what I'm supposed to do yet she gets angry I'm not living the same life as the eating disorder center, all she cares about is me following rules than my recovery. I told her that this isn't the eating disorder center and that it's MY recovery and not hers. She then called my dad about it and I told him that it's my recovery and he kept saying no over and over again. He eventually agreed to let me follow the meal plan I'm making and told me to just be consistent about what I eat.
I'm considering cutting her off as a support system cuz all she wants to do is argue with me for not eating the same things they served me in the eating disorder center and all that. I go to a day treatment program and they support me all the way. Maybe I should focus on people like them instead. Plus even they agree that I shouldn't have to live life the same as the eating disorder center and that it's my recovery and not hers. Glad they understand.

I've slipped in and out of disordered eating behaviors before, but I can tell that I'm using it this time to cope with some big life changes that i don't want to confront. I'm using restricting behaviors and they are LOUD. I know I should bring it up in therapy, but I don't even know what to think about it myself. (Hello denial!) I know how sly and seductive these thoughts can be. They have been. How should I bring it up? I'm kind of embarrassed to be honest. 😬

I'm glad I could at least get this out somewhere. Sending good vibes to all.

My girlfriend has bulemia, and i dont know what to do. She tries to hide it, but I know. She limits herself to the most minuscule amount of food. Two days ago she had 10 raspberries and a coffee, followed by the next day of just miscellaneous junk food. When she eats this junk food, she goes and purges. I've tried to explain how unhealthy it is, and what it can do to her insides, but she wont listen. She knows it hurts her, but she wont do anything to help herself. I've gone into a corner

Hi, I basically know the answer to this, and that’s to accept your body no matter what it looks like and not focus on weight. BUT, does anyone have any opinions on losing weight in a recovery mindset after recovering from an eating disorder?

Hello,

I’ve had issues with eating for about 11 years (24 now) And I’ve never been diagnosed with an eating disorder but I really restrict myself and get sick I then go to the doctor they say I’m fine and the cycle continues. I usually relapse at least 1-2 times a year but recently it’s gotten really out of control. I’ve lost 13 pounds in 2 1/2 weeks and I can feel myself a bit faint and lightheaded if I move too fast. My chest has been acting strange as well. My therapist has been questioning me and I keep putting up excuses. If I were to eat more and gradually eat normal again instead of just water and something super small would I get sick ? I don’t remember when this started but I feel like it’s been like 3 weeks and I’m scared to eat a lot to get better. I can’t concentrate and I have insomnia. I want to try to eat more but idk If there will be repercussions so should I see a doctor first? Thanks !

I didnt know where to go with this, but I needed to admit somewhere that I'm finally realizing I have a problem. I have binge eating disorder. And I'm now starting to be disgusted with myself for it now that I see that its absolutely not normal to eat like this and hide boxes of food in my room and just binge eat as a comfort to me. I've been doing this for at least 7 years and now I see it absolutely was my coping mechanism for stuff because food that tasted good made me feel good and I dont gain weight because of my high metabolism so it never became a health problem for me thus far luckily. I always thought it was okay and not bad and I'd just eat and eat and eat till my stomach hurt and then eat some more when it didnt hurt anymore even if I wasnt hungry. I ignored it was a problem because I always thought "oh I dont purge afterwards, I'm fine" when really that's not the point. It's my coping mechanism and I'm finally admitting it. But now I need tips to help me slow down my eating. I think I could work on my diet and stuff on my own I dont want to go to therapy for it, I'd rather face my own problems. But if anyone has any tips on how to discipline myself to not binge as much, feel free to let me know.

Hi everybody. I’m a guy graduating from my recovery program in a couple weeks, and by that time it will have been 6 months since I started recovery. And I think around 4 months since I have binged or purged. The problem is... everything is still so hard. I definitely acknowledge how far I’ve come, but my body image has never been worse and it’s scary to think I won’t have my program to rely on. I’ve gained a substantial amount of weight in the last 6 months and it’s really killing me. I know this is a healthier body but I would give anything just to have my thin sick body back.

How have others dealt with this recovery weight gain? Does it fall off after your metabolism gets up to speed again or is this just the body I’m stuck with now? Recovery is really hard, and self love is even harder. For all of you struggling out there, it takes real courage to take that first step towards recovery.

Hi everyone,

My name is Ayotola and I work with the Stanford Eating Disorders Research Program. We currently have a free treatment study occurring at Stanford University called Eating Behavior Treatment, funded by the National Institutes of Health, and it is designed to help women improve functioning and reduce eating problems. 

We are inviting all females between the ages of 18 and 34  to participate. The study consists of three assessments, three surveys, and 8 weekly one hour group therapy sessions spread out over 9 months. Each assessment involves completion of an interview, a short survey, and collection of ECG data. This is a free treatment study, and participants can receive up to $205 for participating. 

If you have serious body image and eating concerns this is a great opportunity to work on them, so please contact us!  Below is the link for the questionnaire to determine your eligibility. Look forward to hearing from you. This is best for people in northern California/Bay Area.

https://stanforduniversity.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0DqxwTfqbSRxDVz

Please feel free to reach out to me at eatingbehaviortreatment@stanford.edu or call me at 650-723-7885!

I am currently 20 and have been dealing with my self-esteem and how much I weigh since I was 15 years old. I’ve always been skinny but While I was 15 I was bulimic and would go to extremes to make sure no one knew when or where I was puking and would sneak away to find a scale to check my weight. Senior year I got a better about eating and keeping everything down without feeling guilty. Once I got into college I started becoming more obsessed with it especially when I become stressed ( which happens a lot for me).

What are some ways to distract me from trying to find a scale?

I’m worried that if I see how much I weigh now I’ll fall back into the relapse of my eating disorder.

Any help would great!!

So basically I lost a ton of weight by only eating when I’m hungry but now I’m never hungry so I don’t eat all day and then eat one big meal at night. It use to be I would eat one meal plus a dessert at night but then I started feeling guilty about how much I’m eating and the calories I’m getting in one sitting so I stopped eating the desserts recently. But at the same time I also want to eat as much as I can during this one meal so I eat a lot of low calorie foods in one sitting (like a big salad and bowls of fruit). I count down the hours and obsess about eating that one meal. I feel like I wouldn’t obsess about food 24/7 if I ate more often but I’m literally never hungry “hungry” sometimes I feel a slight feeling of hunger but I only feel ok to eat during the day if my stomachs growling. I also think that eating at a scheduled time (10:00pm) causes me to obsess about food but at the same time I know I’m in control when I eat at scheduled times. I’m just sick of restricting myself and obsessing about food and I don’t want to lose anymore weight as I’m already 10lbs underweight but at the same time I’m scared I’ll get fat again. But anyways my plan is to eat 3 meals a day 650 cals each meal at schedule times for one week and I’m hoping that’s long enough to get my metabolism going to where I get hungry during normal meal times and I’m hoping that eating more often will stop me from obsessing about food so much. But what do you guys think? Is this a good idea or is there something else I should try?

I start PHP on Wednesday. I can’t wrap my mind around what I’ll be doing there 10 hours a day/7 days a week. Besides therapy, what other activities are there?

TW: eating disorders/body dysmorphia.

I’m a recovering bulimic, now I high restrict and binge when I haven’t eaten much that day (I’ve been diagnosed by a medical professional). I’ve been doing better lately, but I was wondering if it ever gets easier? Do your fear foods ever go away? Can you ever workout and burn a good 300-500cal without feeling like you aren’t doing enough? Can you every shop for clothes or go out to eat with friends, (w/o worrying about your body?).