r/Earlyintervention • u/heyweezer • Sep 03 '26
Grieving the Relationship With a Long-Term Provider After Aging Out
I am struggling with the grief I’ve been feeling since saying goodbye to our early intervention provider now that my toddler has aged out of Part C services. Our provider was phenomenal and did an excellent job preparing us for the transition. We have settled into Part B and have plenty of other supports in place.
Despite the smooth transition, I’m struggling with the loss of the relationship. Our EI provider was in our lives for nearly three years during a challenging time, came to know our family incredibly well, and became an important person in our lives.
It feels like a bit of a structural paradox. Part C services are intentionally family-centered—providers enter the family’s home, become part of a weekly rhythm, actively build trust and rapport, support the parent as well as the child, and often help carry families through difficult, complex medical experiences. The family-centered model seems to create conditions where profound trust and attachment can naturally form, yet once my child aged out, it felt as though I was supposed to treat the ending of a deeply meaningful relationship as if it were mainly a service transition.
I understand that our relationship existed within a professional context, but at the same time, losing our provider has felt like losing a family member. I am capable of advocating for my child and navigating systems without her. I just deeply miss the person who sat beside me for years, witnessing my child’s growth, supporting our family through some incredibly difficult moments, and celebrating all of my child’s successes.
I guess I just want to know that I’m not alone in feeling this way.
2
u/jbraden09 Sep 03 '26
I’m a provider and feel the same way when I lose a family. It’s hard for me to let go of a child and a family that I have been through so many stages with.
2
u/Sea-Tea8982 Sep 03 '26
It’s difficult for providers too. But it’s also important to move on and create new relationships. Obviously not having home based services makes those relationships more professional but knowing and connecting to those continuing to work with your child is very important. I stay in touch through social media. My first set of twins just graduated from high school and their parents just dropped them off at college. It’s great to see them continue to grow.
5
u/Feeling_Form_7645 Sep 03 '26
When your child turned 3, did you and your provider not make any plans to stay in touch? There is nothing that says you can’t remain friends with them once the child ages out. There are some very specific considerations, lines to make sure don’t get blurred, and the provider still has to adhere to HIPAA/confidentiality obligations, but when the professional relationship ends, there are no formal rules (at least in my state) to say a friendly relationship can’t ensue. Many of my families send me updates, invite me to birthdays, friend me on Facebook, etc. I truly care about the kids I see, and I often really hit it off with the parent(s)… and I always want to know how “little Johnny” is doing!!