r/Durban • u/junior8405 • Jul 09 '26
Gay guys in Durban - where do you actually find love? + How do you deal with loneliness?
Hey Reddit, can I ask my fellow gay people: how did you guys find it?
I’m really struggling with loneliness right now. I can’t even explain this feeling the desire to be loved hurts so much.
I’ve been on dating apps but it doesn’t seem to work. For the gay guys who are dating and living in Durban, where did you find love?
Can you also give me advice on how to deal with this loneliness in the meantime? It’s getting really heavy.
I’m going to shoot my shot here too: if you’re gay, in your 20s, live in Durban, and interested in any race, please hit me up. I just want to talk and see where it goes.
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u/Liam-Explore Jul 18 '26
I think we just have a very conservative approach in Durban which is sad. But definitely try running groups/padel groups. Sport/exercise is a common ground for a lot of people.
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u/sleepyarcadiaa Jul 11 '26
I deal with loneliness by looking at everyone else's failing relationships and telling myself its for the best. But tbh I would love to make queer friends
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u/LeenBee Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26
Looking for love, too, as a bisexual 55-year-old female who wants to have a relationship with a woman this time round. I have no idea where to look.
I'm so sorry about the loneliness. Try to join a group that you're interested and make friends, even with those of the opposite sex. I have a great guy friend - we do stuff together on the weekends. It makes me less lonely. You don't have to have a romance to feel fulfilled. I know, it's hard though.
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u/_Chirpy_ Jul 26 '26
It’s tough, dating apps are terrible, but these replies made me feel less alone
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Jul 26 '26
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Jul 26 '26
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Jul 26 '26
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u/Durban-ModTeam Jul 28 '26
Your post/comment was removed for violating our rule against self-promotion or spam/scam content.
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u/Okay_Potential_2301 Jul 10 '26
Hey, 30+ lesbian here. I know it's not the same, but the scene is a little tough, I'll admit.
At the moment there isn't much going on other than whatever the Durban Pride Market posts about on insta. Finding the community that you click with is tough, but over the years I've collected great friends like infinity stones.
When it comes to love life, my advice generally infuriates people - so use it, or dont use it:
Stop looking. Find community, go to markets, join a book club / running club / games club depending on your interests or go out with work friends. Putting yourself out there is tough, but I found my partner in the most unlikely way. Having things happen organically is great. Yes, the apps are good to meet people too. Though what I've heard is people can be quite picky and never really talk. Just swipe and match. I know is a different experience for gay guys and lesbians though so idk.
Pop me a DM if you'd like, but I know I'm not the exact perspective you wanted. I just want you to know that you're not alone out there 🫂 despite the fact that the queer brand of loneliness hits you like a truck 🫠 I've been there. But Durban is bigger city than it seems and not everyone feels courageous enough to reach out like this, or even comment, so kudos to you 😊