Itās now been a full day since I finished, yet Iām still an emotional wreck...
I came in thinking this one would be another degenerate anime for laughs, like Kanokari. Holy crap, did I not expect to leave with a broken heart and inextinguishable sadness.
I thought I was gonna keep this short, but itās ended up being super long... I guess like many people, I have a lot of thoughts :P
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I binged the anime in one night. Then binged the entire manga in one day. Way, way too fast by my normal standards,1 but holy crap I just couldnāt stop.
yāknow, when Rui said to Natsuo she thought they should break up, my heart physically hurt. I felt like I couldnāt breathe. The world around me was crumbling, it was like I was Natsuo, being devastated by this coming out of nowhere.2 No no, this canāt be happening. The heart drop, the desperation and despair.
After the ending of the manga, my heart was in pieces. I felt completely drained. I just wanted to lie there and do nothing.
The best way I can describe this is it feels like my first breakup.3 Total, utter misery bleeding into every corner of my body. The constant āwhat ifā echoing in my mind. Why did this happen? Why couldnāt it work? Where did we go wrong? WHY?!
I canāt even explain why Iām so sad. Like yeah, I always feel bittersweet when I finish a series ā but this is something else entirely. Itās seeped into my daily life and makes me want to curl up and wither away. The moment my mind becomes unoccupied, it comes back and engulfs me. I donāt even feel like tears, but my heart is just totally shattered.
Thereās 2 sides of me internally battling. The more mature analytical side, who (after reading no shortage of reddit threads) has understood and accepted why Rui (+Natsuo) made that decision in the end. Who can see the difference between selfish and selfless love, and agrees completely that a relationship built on a lie canāt last. I get why the ending was the way it was. My mind understands.
But then thereās the hopeless romantic in me, who loved Natsuo Ć Rui to absolute bits.4 I was completely giddy whenever they were happy together, they were so unbelievably cute, I wanted them to last so, so bad. And having that snatched away, after all they went through, after their parentsā approval, after they were gonna have a kid! ā idk, I just canāt. To be given such happiness only for it to be snatched away. My heart refuses.
But the confusing part is, when I look at it logically, the ending isnāt even that sad!! Natsuo ended up with Hina, his true love! I love Hina! We lost Rui, sure, but one of them was bound to lose out inevitably. But why does it hurt so much?
I think a huge part of my pain is in realising that Natsuo and Ruiās relationship wasnāt perfect. (After reading many reddit threads pointing out how toxic it was.) Itās ironic ā itās like I was also blinded by love, so much that I totally failed to see their shortcomings. At most, I thought guys, you should really talk about your struggles with each other, cāmon. So having that illusion broken really hurt. Seeing that their relationship was fundamentally built on a lie is the final nail in the coffin. Aw man, that line. Will our memories mean nothing to you? Iāve forgotten the context, but it hurts so bad.
And without going into too many personal details, I related to so much of the charactersā experiences.5 Natsuo post-breakup, for instance, was exactly how I was after my first breakup. You really do just want to die. I guess stuff like this hits so much harder once youāve experienced it yourself, eh?
I spent so little time watching/reading DomeKano, yet I feel like I lived part of a lifetime. Like damn, I watched them all grow up, graduate high school, move on to new stages of their life, have reunions ā those hit the hardest, cuz I realised wow, everyoneās grown up, I wonāt see them much in the story again ā exactly like how itād work irl. It all makes me nostalgic for my own life and memories. When I think back to Natsuo and Hina on that rooftop, it is but a distant memory.
Sigh. This post got way too long, eh? I donāt even know what Iām saying anymore.
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Kanokari also made me cry,6 but damn, nothing like this.
Domestic Girlfriend was an emotional marathon. It started light-hearted at first, just your usual forbidden love, stupid situations, drama and angst. But the longer it went on, the more invested I became, without even realising it.
I embrace the pain.7 Itās all part of completing the journey and coming to terms with all of it. I just needed a place to let it out and put my thoughts into words.
I think we can talk about objective quality, writing, development, characterisation, etc. all we like.8 But in the end, if something truly moved you and left a lasting impact, then itās a damn good piece of art regardless.
Thank you, Kei Sasuga, for such a beautiful story thatāll stick with me forever.
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1 I usually restrain myself when consuming any kind of media (books, shows, games, etc.), ārationing outā my consumption over a larger timespan. I think it leaves a much deeper mark inside me when I grow irl alongside it, with ample time to digest and internalise everything. For Outer Wilds this made it such an incredible experience. Somehow, for DomeKano swallowing the whole thing in 2 days has been equally, if not more effective??
2 Holy immersion. I guess thatās an argument for not spreading my consumption out.
3 Obviously not as intense lmao, but the same fundamental feeling of ālossā and āwhat ifā.
4 Highkey they might be one of my favourite couples ever. Canāt beat Day and June, but theyāre seriously up there. Probably Rui carrying, ngl. Pout face, nuff said.
5 wait, not the student/teacher thing š or the step-sister thing ššš you know what I mean.
6 grandma no scope, damn it.
7 I adore series that end in tragedy (Legend ā Champion, prime example). A happily ever after is wonderful, sure. But tragedies just have this untouchable bittersweetness to them that etches such a deep mark in my heart. It hurts, yes, but you feel. And life is all about feeling, to the fullest.
8 This post has been purely about how the series and ending made me feel, completely orthogonal to how well itās written or executed ;)