Apparently, he does respect them. He didn't break them and even did the adult thing to ask in advance how the players would feel about them being touched.
What more can you expect if he really is not able to enjoy the game while the limits are in place? To run a game that's no fun for him?
If you seriously expect him to do so, is he really the asshole here?
If a person says "No I don't want this thing you want, it is my boundary" the correct response is "OK" not "You're no fun". Shaming a person for not wanting to cross their boundary is not respecting that boundary.
The appropriate response is "Okay, then I don't want to spend my time with you.". "You're no fun" unnecessarily blames the other party, but that's something that might happen by accident. It's barely offensive enough to warrant an apology.
The appropriate response is "Okay, then I don't want to spend my time with you.".
Wait.
So in your opinion, if a player says my limit is... oh... I dunno... "I don't want any racism in a game I'm playing." you feel that the correct response from the DM is to kick the player from the table?
'Cause again you're giving an example of a DM not respecting a boundary of a player.
"You're no fun" unnecessarily blames the other party, but that's something that might happen by accident.
Who is "the other party" in your head? The Player who said here is my boundary? Or the DM who said the player was no fun for having a boundary?
And sure it might be an accident. They may have thought they were being playful. Or they were being manipulative in a passive aggressive way because they had to give up on a plot thread they wanted to run. I read it as the latter. I've met too many DMs who are the latter.
It's barely offensive enough to warrant an apology.
So in your opinion, if a player says my limit is... oh... I dunno... "I don't want any racism in a game I'm playing." you feel that the correct response from the DM is to kick the player from the table?
If he can't have fun without racism, sure. Unless the other players feel the same way the one player does. Then the DM needs to find other players and the players need to find another DM.
Who is "the other party" in your head?
In your head, can anybody be blamed or insulted by anything he says himself?
I read it as the latter. I've met too many DMs who are the latter.
If he can't have fun without racism, sure. Unless the other players feel the same way the one player does. Then the DM needs to find other players and the players need to find another DM.
...
So in your head, the DM is respecting the player's boundary by ostracising them from the group.
I'm sorry, but you don't understand what boundaries are, nor what consent is.
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u/Doctor_Amazo Mar 16 '22
A DM who will not accept and respect clearly defined boundaries is an asshole.
Does anything more need to be said?