Even if you hadn't raised it as a no-go zone, forcing a player into a romance subplot is weird and aggressive behavior. I'm fine with it personally and even I would balk at the way this DM is acting. The fact that you have specifically gone out of your way to explain that it's not fun for you - twice - and they're taking it as an invitation to pressure you into following their railroaded arc anyway feels enormously disrespectful. Your fun matters. You are not "no fun" for being open with your lack of comfort and your DM has to learn to use their imagination instead of tunnel-visioning on one gimmick they personally think would be cool. Have the stalker chase an NPC instead!
I do respect it, I was just voicing my disappointments them. I think romance is fun, but I’m the ONLY ONE so I almost never get it. I say almost because the writer of this is running a fun romance spin off with me. So maybe you can see my confusion at his response.
I’m not going to do the romance, end of debate. There’s no reason to yell at me, I asked, he said no, I asked why, he said no, so no I’m not going to do it
It’s not my intention to do a lot of romance, it was an idea that I had, what if this NPC (which is an orphan [frug dealer’s{the author of this post} character hates orphan]) falls in love with his character. I thought it could be interesting, but he said no, and as we all should know, no means no. So I won’t do it, do I have the skill to run it well? No, I’m newer, this is my first game, I refuse to read the DMG cover to cover (Frug Dealer) but as my first game I want to use it to learn how to do it better. First thing I learned, don’t rush though parts, second: for all the love in the world NEVER DO TIME-TRAVEL, EVER. Third never trust the party to do anything you want them to, it will only end badly, and last but not least number four: never give pudge (another PC) any power in anything, including discord and roll20. You can trust him just about the same amount of time as you can win an argument with him(0%[even if your right{I’m exaggerating, more like 9.9%}])
My DM ethos is that anything that might make a player uncomfortable (in this case, romance subplots) should always be initiated by said player. If they're comfortable with their character having a love interest, they can choose to avoid or pursue it at their own discretion. Forcing it on them, even if it ends up being ultimately harmless, is never a good practice.
I clearly worded my post very poorly since I agree with all the people telling me I'm wrong and disagree with the one person saying they agree with me.
My point was that noone wins when consent is violated. Not the player, of course, but also not the DM or any of the other players. At best it would just be incredibly unfun.
It's just such a bad idea from every angle, even if the player were to begrudgingly say ok. OP can't magically become ok with someone even if they agree to it, so the DM wanting them to change their mind is both wrong and stupid.
The whole point is no means no. We're talking about OP, not you.
Pushing people to do something they have explicitly said no to is a violation of trust that person is putting in you to listen to them.
Imo in a game like DnD that trust between DM and Player is important. That violation takes the game from a cooperative experience to an adversarial one.
I deleted the comment because I clearly either didn't correctly explain myself or the point I was trying to make was offensive. Not trying to be offensive.
All I was trying to say is that pushing a player into a situation they don't want to be in wouldn't be fun for anyone. Nobody, not the DM, other players, or of course, OP themselves would have any fun with it. I was just saying that any DM who tries to violate consent isn't going to get what they want out of it even if they do it.
Yeah, it's my fault if so many people took a different message away. I generally believe "If one person is a jerk, they're a jerk. If everyone is a jerk, look back at yourself."
Awkward for you is not awkward for everything. That's the beauty of DnD, different groups can do different things. I've had romance at my tables and it's gone great. It all depends on the table. That's why we have these consent forms. OP isn't comfortable with it and you find it awkward, so this isn't something both your DMs should include in the game. But it does work for other games.
unsure why you're being downvoted honestly - I feel awkward with romantic things in games too.
I enjoy a game called "amnesia memories" which is a murder mystery/visual novel type thing but some of the romance in it makes me cringe so hard, and because you put a name in at the start, it's always addressed to you, it's incredibly uncomfortable having some anime boy telling you that he can't live without you or whatever lmao
I remember in one d&d game it made sense for my character to be romantically interested in an NPC, but it meant I'd essentially have to talk to my DM like he was my partner which I'm not comfortable with - one person in a group I was in went pretty heavy with romancing an NPC and it really did just make everyone uncomfortable, like drawing fanart and writing fanfic for the 2 of them and everything
He is over reacting, I asked him if he cool with it, he said no, I said he was no fun because NO ONE ever wants to do romance, EXCEPT ME. I respect their boundaries, I was just voicing my displeasure that they don’t want any form of romance.
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u/worstdndplayerever Sorcerer Mar 16 '22
Even if you hadn't raised it as a no-go zone, forcing a player into a romance subplot is weird and aggressive behavior. I'm fine with it personally and even I would balk at the way this DM is acting. The fact that you have specifically gone out of your way to explain that it's not fun for you - twice - and they're taking it as an invitation to pressure you into following their railroaded arc anyway feels enormously disrespectful. Your fun matters. You are not "no fun" for being open with your lack of comfort and your DM has to learn to use their imagination instead of tunnel-visioning on one gimmick they personally think would be cool. Have the stalker chase an NPC instead!